“True,” Lola had said. “I wonder where he is. And I wonder how long his money will hold out. Maybe he came to talk to Christine the other night because he realized he needed his job back? He needed to get back with her so he could get it?”
Audrey hadn’t wanted to think so poorly of Zach, at least, not yet. “He loves her, I believe. He just got scared.”
Lola had sniffed. “I don’t know. The world can be really cruel, Audrey.”
“You’re talking to a girl who just gave birth to a really sick baby without his father around,” Audrey had returned. “Don’t tell me the world can be cruel.”
“Good point,” Lola had replied.
But now that they had gone through the nursery and brought all the supplies to the Sheridan house, they’d set up a little nursery area in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Looking at it there, the crib and the little bear decorations and the stuffed animals had sent Audrey into a kind of spiral. She’d done it; she had given birth. Maybe all would be okay. But was it too soon to think it would be?
Lola had told her that once you were a mother, you never stopped worrying. When you brought a child into the world, you were changed forever. Audrey now knew that first-hand.
“There she is.” Grandpa Wes opened the door of his bedroom and grinned through the haze of the morning light. He wore only a pair of sweatpants, and his belly, normally hidden by a big sweater, protruded.
Audrey giggled. “Where’s your shirt, old man?”
Grandpa Wes chuckled as he smacked his stomach. “I gotta lay off the croissants, don’t I?”
“We all do,” Audrey said. She turned to show him her stomach, which still protruded a bit, nearly three weeks after Max’s birth.
“You’ll be back to normal in no time,” Grandpa Wes told her with a wink.
“Not with Christine’s baking frenzies happening around us,” Audrey said. “It’s her way of nesting for the baby; I get that. I have to latch onto Amanda and start going to the gym after I’m cleared to exercise, I guess. Grandpa, I’ve literally never exercised a single day in my life.”
Grandpa Wes opened the cookie jar, snaked a hand in, and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie. “Neither have I,” he said, flashing her a devilish grin.
“Cookies for breakfast?” Audrey imitated an old commercial she remembered from childhood. She then stepped toward the jar and grabbed her own. “You know, we can never tell Amanda we do stuff like this. She’ll never approve.”
“Oh, I know,” Grandpa Wes said. “She’s just like Susan.”
“And me? Just like Lola?”
Grandpa Wes arched an eyebrow contemplatively. “I used to think so, Aud. But now, I think I see you as this whole other creature. You’re smart and savvy and funny like your mother. But you’re something else, too. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
As he spoke these endearing words, a tiny bit of chocolate melted across his lower lip. Audrey chuckled and handed him a napkin. “I hope it’s a compliment, I guess.”
“It is,” Grandpa Wes told her. “I only wish your grandmother knew you. I could see the two of you getting on like gangbusters. Probably, you’d laugh yourselves silly.”
Max was to be released at ten-thirty on the dot. For whatever reason, Audrey dressed in one of her nicer dresses, a dark green number, something she’d bought for a fraternity dinner date during her freshman year at Penn State. She remembered her date saying she was “mega hot” at the time; now, when she looked in the mirror, she was just grateful the skirt extended out over the belly and highlighted her slight features above. Her face was tired, but her eyes seemed serene.
For the first time in a long time, she checked herself and decided that no. She didn’t miss college at all. Right now, all this was so much better.
Up at the hospital, Christine, Lola, Susan, and Amanda met her outside on the sidewalk, beneath a ridiculously bright mid-March sun. It made Audrey shiver to realize that her son had never been outside in his life. Nearly three weeks on this earth, and all he knew was the NICU. It had to be a perfect first day.
“Someone dressed for St. Patrick’s Day,” Susan said. Her eyes skated down Audrey’s dress.
“I need all the luck I can get,” Audrey returned. “If the Irish can throw some my way, all the better.”
Several minutes before Max’s release, Audrey found herself directly next to Christine, who seemed somber and dark and reflective. Behind them, Susan, Amanda, and Lola chatted quietly about something to do with Claire’s husband, Russell, and his coming to terms with the city council trying to throw him under the bus.
Finally, Christine exhaled. “I just still can’t believe you were there. And you saw all his food in the fridge. And he’s still around. But I just don’t know what he’s up to or what he’s thinking or...”
Audrey met Christine’s gaze. In her eyes, she saw everything: all the pain and torment of the previous few weeks.
“And Susan is already talking about hiring a new cook. It’s like the whole world will just move on,” Christine said softly. “And I know in my heart it’s a good thing. Look at us now. We’re here. We’re going to get Max and bring him home. It’s one of the happiest days of my life.”
Audrey wrapped her arms around Christine and pressed her cheek against her chin. She could feel the thud-thud of Christine’s heart. It was safe, this sound. She knew her baby would hear it, every day and every night, as he fell asleep in Christine’s arms while she was gone.
When their hug broke, Christine gripped her hand and said, “But I’m still in this, you know. I’m in this all the way.”
“I know,” Audrey murmured. Her lower lip quivered with sadness. “I know you won’t let us down.”
When they released Max, Audrey held him in her arms outside the NICU and gazed down at his perfect little face, the glow of his cheeks, his little button nose, the tender, soft skin of his ten toes as they bobbed around. His eyes were bright blue, and his nose twitched slightly as he tried to focus on his mother’s face. Their eyes locked as Audrey’s heart tightened.
“Hello Max, my beautiful, perfect little boy,” she whispered to him. “We’re going to take you home.”
“He looks so strong, doesn’t he?” Lola said. She lifted a hand to his toe and wiggled it just the slightest bit. “We have such a little boy to dote on, don’t we?”
“Remember how much you wanted a girl?” Susan asked, looking between Audrey and Max.
Audrey laughed. “I honestly barely remember that. It feels like that was someone else.”
It took forever for Audrey to wrap up the baby in winter clothing. She insisted that she do it herself since she had to learn sometime, although, of course, Lola and Susan hovered over her and gave her instructions as she went. Audrey wanted to be delicate with the baby in all things, but Aunt Susan told her that babies don’t break, that they can handle much more than the layperson thought. This was something Audrey would get used to, she guessed.
When Audrey had Max all dressed up, she placed him in the baby carriage, turned back, and found herself locking eyes with a familiar man.
There, just a few feet away, stood the stranger from the NICU. The guy who had shared his Reese’s Pieces. The guy she’d shared such intimate moments with, without actually knowing his name at all.
“Hi!” Audrey said suddenly.
The guy’s smile was warm. He stepped closer and ruffled his hair, proof, maybe, that he was nervous.
Susan, Lola, Amanda, and Christine all eyed him suspiciously. But before they could say anything, the guy said, “I guess I won’t see you up here any longer, huh?”
Audrey shook her head. “We’re taking him home.”
“That is such good news. Congratulations.” He turned his eyes toward the woman behind her. He obviously thought one of them was Max’s mother.
“And how is your sister?” Audrey asked softly.
“She is doing a lot better. They said maybe another four or five days. We can’t wait to bring her
home.”
Behind her, Christine, Amanda, Lola, and Susan began to discuss what to do about tomorrow’s planned “Welcome Home, Max!” party. Christine suggested chili; Susan said they couldn’t, as it might hurt Aunt Kerry’s feelings that they don’t opt for clam chowder. Lola said she didn’t care what they ate, as long as there was cake.
Now, this guy and Audrey had space to really talk, as her aunts and mother weren’t listening in.
“It was really wonderful to meet you, by the way,” Audrey said.
“You too,” the guy said.
“Although I have to admit, I have no idea what your name is.” Audrey laughed lightly.
“Right. We should have a formal introduction,” he said. He stuck his hand out for her to shake. “My name is Noah.”
The name smacked Audrey in the heart. It felt like the perfect name for such a handsome, kind, considerate man.
“I’m Audrey,” she said as she shook his hand. Their eyes held one another’s, just as Max let out the slightest of whimpers.
“Sounds like someone wants to say hi to me, too,” Noah said.
Audrey curled her hair behind her ear and blushed. “About that.” She turned the buggy to face Noah, took a deep breath, and then said, “Noah, meet Max. This is my son.”
Audrey wasn’t sure what she’d expected as a response. Maybe she’d expected disgust or shock to play out across his face, something that proved to her just how irresponsible it was to be a young mother.
But instead, Noah crouched down and said, “I am so glad to hear you’re well, Max. You have a wonderful mother. She sat outside the glass and watched you as you slept and got better and stronger, day after day. You’re one of the lucky ones, Max. Don’t you ever forget it.”
Audrey’s eyes filled with tears. She willed herself not to cry and blinked them back as fast as she could.
When Noah lifted back up to face her, he just nodded. “You’re much braver than I thought.”
Audrey’s cheeks burned bright pink. “Not brave. It just happens to you, I think. When you become a mother.”
Neither of them spoke for a moment, not until Max cooed again, and Lola said, “We’d better get him home, Aud.”
“Thanks for everything,” Audrey told him. “And give your best to your mother and your sister. Tell them both to keep fighting.”
“Thank you,” he said softly. “That means a lot.”
Chapter Seventeen
Max was an inquisitive little baby. On the drive back to the Sheridan house, Audrey tried to match his gaze as he turned his blue eyes left and right. Could his little mind make sense of the trees outside, of the blue rush of the sky, and the billowing clouds? Did he know that this place, Martha’s Vineyard, his home, was one of the most beautiful places in the world?
They’d positioned his car seat in the center of the backseat. Christine and Audrey sat on either side of him, captivated, not saying a word. They’d decided to drive back together so that they could all introduce Max to his Great-Grandpa Wes.
Aunt Kerry was over, stirring up a big pot of carrot soup. She beamed at Audrey as she entered with the slumbering baby. Audrey felt as though she carried something breakable, and she walked softly, on only her toes. Grandpa Wes sat on the couch overlooking the water. There, just outside the window, sat a perfect, bright red cardinal. He was captivated.
“Grandpa,” Audrey breathed.
There are moments in life that are pure magic. Audrey had learned this long-ago — on the day of her first kiss back in middle school, when the boy she liked more than anyone in the world asked her to prom, or when she’d gotten the internship of her dreams in Chicago. They were moments when the world shifted on its axis, and time seemed to stand still, and the air tasted a little brighter. There were moments when you could pretend that everything would be all right, forever.
This was one of those moments.
“What do you have there?” Grandpa Wes asked. His eyes turned to the baby carrier as his hand-stretched over his heart.
Audrey had told him the baby would come home that day. It was possible he’d forgotten.
“What do you have there?” he repeated, as his eyes went wide and began to water.
“I have someone who really wants to meet you,” Audrey murmured, her voice quivering just the slightest.
Max was fast asleep. His face was perfect, with his lips sitting in a lopsided grin like he was having the most incredible dream, and as Audrey positioned him in Grandpa Wes’s arms, she watched as a lone tear rolled down her grandfather’s cheek. For a long moment, watching the two very separate generations of Sheridan men was priceless.
And then, Grandpa Wes spoke.
“Aren’t you a handsome Sheridan man,” he said, speaking softly.
Audrey very nearly burst into tears. Grandpa Wes looked like a complete natural with that baby in his arms. For a strange moment, Audrey felt she could see every single era of Wes Sheridan as he’d raised his daughters from birth through their teenage years. How strange that that had been the same man.
He probably hadn’t held a baby since then.
Grandpa Wes couldn’t take his eyes off of him. In the meantime, Susan stepped into the kitchen and asked Aunt Kerry if she wouldn’t mind supplying the clam chowder for the “Welcome Home, Max” party the following day. Aunt Kerry, as usual, blushed with joy at the idea of being so useful. She also added, “Claire is already bringing a variety of flowers. She’s gone a bit crazy with it, in fact.”
“No such thing as too many flowers tomorrow, Aunt Kerry,” Christine said. She placed her purse on the kitchen table, her eyes still on Max. “Look at how sweet he is. I just can’t imagine that he’ll ever do anything like cry or keep us up all night or fight with us about curfew.”
THESE WERE, OF COURSE, famous last words. Baby Max learned how to roar that night, while Christine and Audrey stayed up late to calm him. When they got him to sleep again, Audrey and Christine stood and stared at him for a long time, as though just the idea of crawling back into bed would make him wake again. Neither of them minded. Their world was tied up in his face.
“I really can’t imagine going back to college now,” Audrey confessed, as quietly as she could.
Christine gave her a side-glance. Audrey couldn’t read her expression.
Finally, Christine said, “You should do whatever you need to do. Whatever happens, I’ll be here. I’ll give him whatever he needs.”
Audrey dropped her head onto Christine’s shoulder. She realized that recently, she hadn’t really regarded Christine as an “aunt.” She was much closer, somehow. She felt more like a friend. She supposed this was tied up in the fact that she was just as lost as Audrey was, in a way. They were charting their own course in this strange life. They’d never done anything the right way.
Finally, Audrey did make her way back into bed as Christine returned to her bedroom down the hall. Her eyes continued to bore through the darkness, and her ears craned for any sign of Max waking. Once, at around four in the morning, she slowly crawled out of bed again and gazed at him, asleep there in his crib. It was unbelievable to her that she had created something so perfect, so special within her. How was it possible? If anything, she regarded it as a miracle.
The “Welcome Home, Max” party was set to begin the next day, just after one-thirty. When Audrey came downstairs with the baby carrier, she found everyone in the first stages of decoration and preparation. Aunt Kerry stewed up a large pot of clam chowder while Scott sat outside, prepping the grill for later. Susan sat with a wedding magazine on her lap, a fresh one, as Audrey and Amanda had thrown out all the ones from Amanda’s wedding planning. Amanda sat beside her and pointed out various elements from the page she liked for Susan’s upcoming wedding to Scott on June 19.
“Good morning,” Audrey said sweetly, as she carried Max toward the kitchen table and placed his baby carrier in the very center. Worry overtook her, and she clutched the edge of the carrier as he slept on.
�
��Do you want a cup of coffee, Mama?” Lola asked her daughter from the kitchen. She beamed at her through the little window between the kitchen and the table.
“Yes,” Audrey said quietly. “More than anything.”
“How many times did you get up?” Susan asked as she dropped her magazine to her lap.
“Only once,” Audrey replied. “I read that most newborns sleep around sixteen to eighteen hours a day.”
“You’re right. They do, so enjoy it while you can. I think to be a new mom, you need to have a little bit of blind optimism,” Susan said.
The guests began to arrive later on. Andy came in with Will flung over his shoulder as he cackled with delight. Beth scurried in after them, making sure Andy didn’t drop Will to the ground.
“I don’t know what to do with them,” Beth said with a funny sigh.
“Mom! Relax!” Will cried.
Then, there was Kelli and her children, along with Steven and his family. Next came Claire and Charlotte, each carrying countless bouquets of flowers, along with a banner that read, “WELCOME HOME, MAXWELL WESLEY SHERIDAN.” Behind them came Claire’s husband, Russell, their twin daughters, Rachel, and of course, Everett, who was fresh-faced and handsome as ever. He never looked particularly like “one of the Vineyard men,” which was a funny thing. He had this other type of look to him, similar to Tommy.
Tommy had worked his way already out to the grill to operate the burger regime with Scott. Audrey watched Christine’s eyes as they scanned toward the men outside. There was a tinge of regret on her face. Obviously, she wanted Zach to be out there with them. It just wasn’t fair, was it?
Family members approached Audrey and the baby throughout the party. As though to prove her research true, baby Max slept like a rock the entire day. He sat in his little carrier and every now and then, opened his beautiful blues eyes and let out the cutest little yawn. When someone noticed, it was announced that he was awake, but the moment everyone turned to look, he would fall back asleep. Everyone remarked that he was the most gorgeous baby they’d ever seen—that his face should be on all of the Gerber baby products. Audrey knew people were being overly nice, but she just took it in stride because, after all, this was her son and to her, Max was all that and more.
A Vineyard Lullaby Page 11