by Mercy B
“Have my baby, G,” I stated after her silence was noted. “Give me a son, baby girl.”
“Shhhhh.” Her hand reached my lips to quiet me before her palm stretched over my right cheek that she’d bruised nicely.
I leaned into her hand, feeling like I was on top of the world. All of the money I’d made over the years—the millions I’d counted—could never compare to the completion that G gave me. More than anywhere, this was where I wanted to be. Right here. Everyday. Every night. They said a woman couldn’t change a man unless he was ready for change, and they were dead ass wrong.
You’re never ready for change, because it is something that no one can prepare for. It’s new and it is scary. You can trick yourself into believing that you are, but it is simply the courage talking, not readiness. ’Cause a nigga wasn’t ready for this degree of change. In fact, I fought that shit until the end. But this was the inevitable. There was no way that I could avoid the urge that I felt to nurture what I had with the woman that I loved. She changed me. Nothing and no one else could tell me any different. Her presence in my life transformed me into a man that was unrecognizable.
“Tell me you’ll do it.”
I’d spoken with her doctor over the phone about the risks of pregnancy, and Gauge was cleared. Due to the fact that the problem had occurred once, her pregnancy would be monitored throughout the months, and special measurements would be taken during labor. That was all I needed to hear because I planned on shooting her club up. I was desperate to fill our new home with little bratty ass kids like Sophia. My life had evolved to the point that I didn’t have friends, because I couldn’t trust a soul. So I would make my new buddies in the form of babies that I knew I could trust or count on in my time of despair. A child’s love was unconditional, and I wanted that shit twice over.
“Say it.”
“Ummmmm. Baby. Yassssss.” She opened for me a bit more, as if it was even possible.
Her shit was gushing, and my dick was lapping all of her juices while using it for lubricant to slide in and out. We were indeed having loud, wet ass sex in the dead of the night with no restrictions or worries. The door was ajar, and the lights to the room were on. Freedom. That’s what the fuck freedom felt like—dicking your bitch down properly with no chances of intrusion or interruption. Shit was blissful.
“Yes, what?” I questioned.
“Sosa. Shut up and make me cum again.”
Obliging, I made her little as bust twice more, twisting and folding her body as I pleased. I ended my reign with Gauge lying on her stomach as I stood up in that pussy. She cried out to the oceans, and I wanted to join her ass as I shot my load deep into her awaiting oasis.
“Sosa?” I heard her whispering as I felt her fingers skating across my lips. She’d busted the bottom one, so it was red in color and poked out slightly. “You sleep?”
“What’s up, baby?” I groaned, pulling her closer and kissing her knuckles.
“I’m sorry for hitting you,” she confessed. I knew that shit was fucking with her, but it was all good. “I’m just always so angry with you. I have so much anger in my heart for you that it hurts. Sometimes, well most times, I just wish we could go back to the beginning.”
Challenging her, I assured her that we were okay where we were. “You don’t want that trash ass nigga from the beginning. I ain’t give a fuck about nothing but myself. That’s the nigga you’re angry about, but I’m not him anymore. Trust me, G. We good where we’re at.”
“But how am I supposed to get through this?”
“I’m going to love you through it. Through your frustrations. I know I fucked up, and shit don’t just get better overnight. We’ve got to work toward that. I felt that therapy could give you a start, so I’ve hooked that up for you.”
“Really?” she questioned in disbelief.
“Yeah, baby.” By now, I was fully awake.
“Will you come to some of the sessions with me?”
“Whatever you want, G.”
“Sos… you seem so unreal these days.”
“This as real as it gets, baby girl.”
“I love you.”
“Yeah? Then show me.”
“How? How can I show you?”
“By using your strength to suck this dick.” I grabbed the hand that was resting on my lips and guided it toward my hard-on. Once Gauge reached it, she began massaging my shit, making a nigga’s toes curl.
“I’ll need help getting down there.”
“You’ve said nothing but a word.” I leaned forward and kissed her lips before assisting her toward the center of the bed.
It wasn’t long before I’d put her ass back to sleep. As I cleaned her off with a warm cloth, I began to regret the fact that I would be leaving her behind to go handle my business. It was so late at night that I knew she’d worry, and I’d be worried while away. But I couldn’t avoid this mission any longer. I’d waited months, and with Gauge finally coming home, I could finally complete it.
“G, baby, I need to make a run,” I announced, knowing she was in and out of consciousness.
“Huh?” She whined.
“I need to make a run, baby girl. I’ll be two hours max,” I informed her, opening her legs and cleaning between them a second time.
“No. Come lay down, Sosa. I want you to lay with me.” She sounded so fucking cute that I was tempted to stay behind.
“I will. It’s only…” I peeped at the clock. “It’s only one. I’ll be back by three. We can sleep in if you’d like. Me, you, and Sophia. Aight?”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“I’m about to go get Sophia and put her in bed with you so that she’s right here if she wakes up. You down?”
“Yes. Baby. Of course. Bring her in here.” Her eyes never opened. She was exhausted.
“Aight. I’m going to get her a fresh diaper on and put her bottle and shit on the nightstand. I’m leaving the nightlight on across the room, too.”
“Sosa. Okaaaaaay,” she fussed. “Sounds like you’ll be more than two hours.”
“No. I promise. Two hours at the most. I’m just making sure y’all straight.”
“We’re fine. Just as long as she is in here, I can handle the rest.”
“I know, baby girl. I’ll be back in a second.”
I rushed to Sophia’s room to grab her from the crib, along with everything that I thought G may need. As I prepared them both for my departure, the urge to abort the mission and stay home was so potent that I damn near called my people to tell them that I wouldn’t be coming and to finish the job themselves.
With Sophia in my hands and in a fresh diaper, I laid her beside her mother and kissed them both on the cheek. It wouldn’t be long before I was back, but I’d be damned if I didn’t want to stay. As I was walking out of the room, G’s words put a smile on my face.
“Come back to me,” she whispered as memories of the same dream I’d been having for some time now resurfaced.
“Mi,” I called softly, acknowledging the pet name that I’d given her years prior. Reaching out, I placed my large hand on her growing belly. At six months, she was glowing in every sense of the word. I thought that she was beautiful before, but the pregnancy had given her a more somber-like beauty.
“Millie,” I leaned down and whispered in her ear.
She was usually a light sleeper, but times had been hard for her lately. With her bulging belly, it took hours for her to get comfortable enough to sleep the night away. Some nights were nearly impossible to rest. Our daughter was forever causing trouble.
However, Millie never complained a bit. She was happy in pregnancy and rolled with whatever punches our unborn child threw our way. In fact, she was fascinated by the changes her body was quickly adapting to. She was hopeful that she’d soon figure out how to rest easily. For now, she did what she could.
“Yes… baby,” Millie whined. She nearly wanted to cry. The crackling of her voice tugged at my heartstrings, ones that were solely attach
ed to her and the being that would be birthed in a few short months.
Sleep had just overcome her, and I was waking her already. “I hate to wake you, but it’s time for me to go.” I rubbed her stomach in circular motions. The feeling was so soothing that it was coaching Millie right back into the slumber she’d been in. This wasn’t helping much in my situation.
“You hear me, Mi?” I questioned, removing my hand from her stomach.
“Yes… baby,” she repeated.
“Open your eyes.”
Utterly helpless in the situation, I was tempted to let her be. But I knew that I’d be even more heavy-hearted if she wound up disappointed in my sudden departure. I wouldn’t hear or feel the end of her wrath for weeks. As mellow as baby girl was, she had a fierce mean streak that I steered clear of at all costs, even if that meant waking her after finally finding comfort to rest.
“I can’t,” Millie groaned, a single tear falling from her right eye though she’d never opened it.
I was regretting even coming up to bother her, but I didn’t want to hear the bickering later, so I did what I thought necessary. “I ain’t mean to wake you. Rest well, love. I’m out.” I stood from the bed.
With her eyes still closed, she replied, “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.” Her whimpers were like daggers through my chest.
“I understand.” Leaning back down, I kissed her forehead before kissing her lips. She was still with me. I could sense her appreciation as she puckered her lips for a second kiss. I obliged before hearing a heavy sigh emerge from her throat. It was necessary that I let her be, so I did. Lifting again, I cleared my throat and straightened my posture.
“Come back to me,” she recited her favorite line whenever I went into the streets to handle my business.
“Where else I’m gon’ go?” I smiled. It may have been corny as shit, but it was our shit. We refused to expunge of each other’s presence without saying it.
“Where else I’m gon’ go?” I questioned before chuckling and heading out.
The night had fallen, and it was time to ride. There were people waiting on my arrival, and I didn’t want to hold them for much longer. I’d been anticipating this very moment for a while not, and now that it was upon me, I had to get my mind straight. I started by blasting some old Meek Mill the minute my ass touched the seat of my car. Shit was about to get hectic, and I needed to be on go mode.
The echoing of his voice was frustrating as I listened to Lancer yell out for someone to assist him—anyone. In the predicament that he was in, he probably didn’t care who it was. His voice rang louder as I got closer and closer, causing me to feel every bit of anger that I had conjured toward this man. I literally hated the nigga, and I never hated anyone. But he was the reason I had to work so fucking hard at getting my ole lady back.
Because of him, I wasn’t there for G when shit first went down with her health at the hospital. While I was being carried out in cuffs, she was clotting and her lungs were collapsing. I’d never be able to forgive myself for that, but I could at least start to make myself feel better with killing the nigga responsible. For my own sanity and the sake of my future as a free man, this clown had to go. I’d gotten off on the cooped-up charges he’d attempted to pin on me, which would fuel his fire.
Just like the others, he was desperate to have me put under the jail. If I let him roam the streets for too much longer, then I was putting my entire existence in jeopardy. With Sophia and G counting on me, I couldn’t take any chances.
When I made it to the area he was being held, I passed up the two men responsible for his capture with a head nod. They’d been hired to perform a clean job, and they had. Detective Lancer had been reported missing by his department after not showing up to work for over a week. By now, they probably considered him dead and gone. But he was alive and well. In fact, I was staring at the pussy ass nigga as he squirmed upon hearing footsteps.
His head was covered with a cloth bag, and his body was shackled to a single chair that sent an electric current through his body each time he moved. He reeked of urine and feces. The nigga had shat himself more than once, but this would be his last time. I’d be putting a hole through his dome after he ran down some information that I needed about his people and what they currently had against me.
“Long time, no see.” Snatching the bag from his head, I allowed him to see my face.
There was no hiding. I wanted to be the last face he saw before he went to meet our maker. We wouldn’t be seeing each other again. I was headed straight to hell for all of my sins, so I wanted to make our last meeting special.
“You!” His eyes bulged from their sockets. I figured he was aware of what my presence meant for him. This was it.
“Me.” I nodded. “Didn’t think you’d be seeing me anywhere but in jail the next time, huh?”
“What do you want from me?”
“Besides your life, I want some information from you. It could spare you some time, or I can put you out of your misery right now.”
“No. No. Please,” he begged.
“Oh. Save the tears and the begging. Be a man about your shit, because you’re dying either way!”
“Man. Don’t do this to me. Please.”
“Why?” I pulled the second chair from the other side of the room.
As it scooted across the floor, I could hear a screeching noise that would’ve usually driven me insane. However, I was in a good mood tonight. I’d gotten some good pussy from my girl. She’d walked a good distance. Sophia was good and sleep, and they were both in my bed at our home. Shit couldn’t get any sweeter for me at the moment, not unless I eliminated this pussy from the earth.
“Man. Please. We can work this out. Please don’t do this. I have children, man.”
“You picked me up on the day my daughter was born. You think I give a flying fuck about your seeds? Why?”
“Because that bitch Destiny was up for the position I wanted. I knew that if I could take you down first, I could have the promotion I’ve been wanting for years. I deserve it. I work my ass off. Besides, don’t no woman need to be in charge of me, giving me orders and watching my every move. I was relieved when she didn’t catch you that night, but I was sick to my stomach, knowing you’d gotten away from me too. I was going to make my move the next time we met up.”
Shaking my head, I chuckled at the blabbermouth before me. He was going a mile a minute, figuring I would spare him, but I had no intentions. The minute I had the information I needed, it was lights out for him.
“Please. I can make sure your name never comes up again. Ever. In any investigation. I can make this all go away, make this all disappear. Just give me some time, and I will take care of this for you.”
“You will?” I forged curiosity.
“Yes. The people down at my station has it out for you. Everyone wants a piece of the pie. They were pissed when I—”
“What made you think the charges would stick? Murder? In a suicide case?”
“It was you. Maybe no one else had put the two pieces together, but I did. All of the information that I was feeding you was wrong. I intentionally told you certain things to get you to react. I wanted you to incriminate yourself. Your slate was clean, so I wanted you to dirty it up, and you fell right into the trap. I had nothing to go on, so I had to get something.”
“What you mean, the information was false? I don’t follow?” Scratching my head, I sat back in the chair and waited for his response. I prayed that my intuition was incorrect and he wasn’t telling me what I thought he was.
“They hadn’t said a word. No one. We couldn’t get anyone to talk. The shit was so frustrating. The paperwork and the documents I gave you were all made up. Cayman was adamant about keeping his mouth closed, and poor Brielle didn’t have a clue about anything. She didn’t even know nothing. The girl was a wreck downtown. All she wanted was to go home and find herself a decent enough lawyer.”
Immediately, my heart sank to the bottom of my fe
et. Besides the shit I’d done to G, I had never regretted a single action of mine a day in my life. But this shit here was going to eat a nigga up. To know that I’d been played at my own game and innocent victims had fallen in the cross wires was horrifying.
“Where the crew? Where the victim?”
“Right there.” I pointed as he surveyed the building for signs of life besides us two. He wouldn’t find any.
“Right where?”
“You, Cayman.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, nigga. You.”
“What you mean? Quit playing, dog.”
“Since you want the bitch so bad and is willing to do anything to avenge her death, I’m going to send you to her. Hopefully, she’ll have a change of heart and want you this time… Knowing you were willing to turn state and die for her. You had to know this would be your fate. Right?”
“Sosa. Man. Listen. It’s not what you thinking…”
“Oh. I know it’s not. What I thought was my nigga would never flip. Couldn’t have paid me to believe that shit, but it’s true.”
“Nah. That shit ain’t true, dog.”
While listening to him come up with insufficient lies, I removed the blunt from behind my ear and sparked it. Smoke filled my lungs, helping me manage the stress of knowing that I’d be responsible for the death of my homie. I’d tuned him out as flashbacks of us as boys became vivid in my mind. Never in a million years had I thought we’d get to this point.
“Caym,” I interrupted him, knowing that Gauge was waiting, and Sauni would be needing a ride home because it had gotten so late. “Step inside of the barrel.”
The blue barrel was filled to the brim with acid that would eat his flesh to the bone once inside. After the flesh was dissolved, the bones would follow. The process was a lengthy one, but I didn’t have plans to stay for the duration. The acid was heated, which sped up the decomposition by hours, but I didn’t have that kind of time. Dre would be back in twenty-four hours to dispose of the residue.
“Sosa. Man.”