by Jenna Jacob
Though I really didn’t believe in new age, hippy-dippy mumbo-jumbo, her gesture touched me deeply. Trying to keep an open mind, I squeezed my hands around the stones. Not surprisingly, I didn’t feel a thing. But her concerned about my mental well-being hit me so hard I wrapped her in a fierce hug, and thanked her, again.
Chapter 15
Syd
Seated beside Duke—who generously offered to act as my stand-in—strumming my bass, I caught the flash of sunlight reflecting off the glass behind me. Hope skipping through my chest, I turned and watched Caris, Harmony, Mia, and Sofia stroll down the hall and into the control room.
A flash of disappointment skipped over Caris’s face before she flashed me a little smile.
What the hell is that about?
Had Mia or Sofia said or done something to upset her?
Stopping mid-note, Burk grinned as he stared at Sofia, then made a slicing motion at his neck with his hand. “Let’s take five.”
“Five? If that’s all the time you need to cop a nut these days, damn, I feel sorry for Sofia,” I teased.
Forgetting the mics were live, I busted out laughing when his copper-haired vixen flipped me off.
“Guess she told you, asshat.” Burk grinned as he waved the girls into the studio.
As Harmony, Mia, and Sofia split off, greeting their men with passionate kisses and giggles, Caris ambled toward me with a pensive expression. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and kiss every doubt rolling through her pretty head. Instead, I stood and flashed her a crooked grin, eating up the distance between us.
“I’m gonna hit the head,” Duke announced as he eased my bass back in its cradle.
I jerked a nod as he headed toward the door.
Unable to not touch her, I clasped my hand to her hip, savoring her warmth as I drew her closer. “Did you order some new clothes?”
“I did.” Caris nodded, dragging my credit card from her jeans. “A whole lot more than I should have, but Mia and Sofia were…insistent.”
“You mean pushy?”
“No. They were incredibly helpful, it’s just…” As she dropped her chin, I caught a glimpse of conflict etching her face. “They think we’re a couple.”
I leaned down to peer into her dark eyes. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I feel like a fraud.”
That wasn’t the answer I’d hoped for. But expecting Caris to proclaim her undying love for me again after one day was sheer insanity.
“Do you think the connection we still share is fake?”
“No.”
“Then there’s no reason to feel like a fraud, angel.” I cupped her chin, lifted her head, and brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “We’ve got plenty of time to see where this leads us.”
A sad smile settled over her face. “It isn’t going to lead anywhere, Syd. You and I both know that.”
Shock pinged through me. “Why do you say that?”
“Look around,” she said, eyeing the equipment and instruments. “This is your world, not mine.”
Rejection sliced deep as I released her hip and took a step back. It had never crossed my mind that Caris would find my life repugnant.
“I’m a small-town waitress, Syd. This… You… It’s all way out of my league.”
Oh, fuck no. She didn’t find my world lacking, but her own. When and why had she convinced herself she wasn’t worthy of happiness?
“You’re wrong, angel. Way wrong.”
The slight shrug of Caris’s shoulders, tight press of her lips, and the sudden dullness in her eyes told me I hadn’t swayed her opinion.
Oh, but I will.
“Challenge accepted.” I smirked.
“What challenge?”
“All right, everyone. Let’s take it from the top,” Burk called out.
“You’ll see.”
I winked and returned to the tall stool next to Duke. Mind churning with ways to change her self-perception and remain a part of it when this shit was over, I fisted the mic stand and drew it in closer to me. Anticipation lit up Caris’s face, and the note she’d left on my pillow back in LA flashed in my head.
P.S. I lied. I still love hearing you sing, not Burk.
Memories of our nights beneath the tall pines, the endless stars twinkling in the sky, and Caris cuddled in close while I sang her song flipped through me.
The lightbulb that went off in my head damn near blinded me. And as Darren and Duke picked up their instruments and Ozzy and Ross settled in behind theirs, I gripped the mic.
“Hang on a sec.”
Burk arched a curious brow, but when I held up a finger and glanced at Caris, who was softly talking to Mia beside her, he smiled and nodded and stepped back from his mic. I could hear the haunting intro of the song resonating in my brain. Drawing in a deep breath, I leaned in closer to the microphone and started to sing.
“Spend all your life waiting for that second chance.”
Caris whipped her head my direction. Our eyes locked, and I saw her chin quiver as the walls she’d kept wrapped around her crumbled away.
I’d definitely been waiting, praying for a second chance, for a break that would make things between us okay.
With a knowing smile, Ozzy began playing the chords of the old Sarah McLachlan tune. Soon Darren joined in strumming the ballad on his guitar. A smile kicked up on the side of my face as I kept right on signing to my girl, the way I had each night when she was wrapped in my arms.
At the lyrics about there always being some reason to not feel good enough, a tear slid down Caris’s cheek.
I know, angel. You’ve conjured a million reasons why you’re not good enough. But you are, my love. You are.
With terrifying clarity, I realized that I wasn’t good enough for her. I’d used groupies as a distraction, a release in hopes of finding some peace. But when the deed was done, I was left empty and weightless. I’d spent my adult life hiding my own wreckage, hiding secrets, fears, and the integrity I lacked, behind jokes and bad one-liners. I could only fly away from the endlessness inside me by seeking fragments of comfort with other women, because I couldn’t find it in the arms of my angel anymore. She was gone.
Fuck. Me.
These same lyrics I’d sung to Caris to long ago had been a glaring premonition of our lives apart.
I CANNOT lose her again.
As the last note vibrated from my throat, I pushed the mic away. I stood and made my way to Caris, wrapped my good arm around her, and lifted her from the chair. Then I pulled her to my chest, branding the feel of her warm, soft curves pressed against my hard ridges and planes and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.
“I’ve waited forever to hear you sing that again.” Her voice was thick with emotion.
“I’ve waited forever to sing to you again, angel.” I cupped her cheek and forced her gaze, then delved deep into her soul. “We’ve wasted enough time…waiting.”
A flash of reluctance, indecision, and anticipation fluttered over Caris’s face before she clasped my hand and placed a ball-churning kiss against my palm. Then she threaded her fingers through mine and tugged me toward the door.
My heart was in my throat and hope tingled in my veins as we silently returned to the lodge and up the stairs to our room. I shut and locked the door behind us and held her close. I wasn’t stupid. I knew the embarrassing mischief my band brothers were capable of, because I’d taught them well.
“How’s your shoulder feeling?” A tinge of shyness laced her tone.
“It’s throbbing, but not nearly as much as my cock is right now.”
“I thought you took care of that earlier.”
I kissed the corners of her playful smirk. “Oh, I did. I came like a damn geyser fantasizing about your sinful mouth sliding up and down my dick.”
“I know,” she quipped with a sassy grin. “I was listening in the hallway and almost got busted by Sofia. Thankfully, she had no idea you were still in the room or what naugh
ty things you were doing to yourself.”
I nipped the lobe of her ear, delighting not only in her gasp and shiver but also the fact that she’d been listening to me pleasure myself. “You were the naughty one, standing outside listening to me. That was a naughty thing to do, Caris, especially since you could have stayed, could have wrapped your wicked mouth around me and then let me return the favor.”
“I’m here now.” Her voice was so sultry and inviting I nearly burst into flames.
“Thank god,” I murmured, pressing my lips to that sensitive spot behind her ear. “But we’re both wearing too many clothes.”
“We are, but before we do something about that, are you sure we should?”
“Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t?”
“Your shoulder, Syd.”
“I’m not planning to make love to you with my shoulder.”
Caris groaned and smacked my good arm. “Why do you have to be such a smart-ass all the time?”
“’Cause you always loved my smart ass.”
“I still do,” she whispered. “I-I never stopped.”
Her confession sent my heart sputtering and soaring at once. Easing back, I studied her studying me. I could see the doubts swirling in her mind.
“Oh, angel,” I choked, doing everything in my power not to break down and weep for joy. “I never stopped loving, wanting, or missing you.”
She closed her eyes briefly, expelling a sigh of relief that drained the tension from her shoulders, then peered up at me with renewed confidence.
“I think it’s time we started making up for all the years we lost.”
“I promised back in LA that I would make everything up to you. I intend to keep that promise.”
“You already have. Besides, there’s nothing to make up for, Syd. We were both a couple of scared kids. I’m not scared anymore, not when I’m with you.”
“Nothing scares me anymore, either, other than the thought of losing you again.”
A look of sadness filled her eyes. No doubt, she wanted to remind me that we came from different worlds now. Once upon a time, we didn’t. And I was dying to share my life with her again.
Claiming Caris in a raw and feral kiss, I poured all the love and passion within me. And prayed I could erase the doubt from her mind and assure her that she’d found her forever home…with me.
Without asking for an invitation, I pushed my tongue past her lips, catching her moan on my sweeping tip. Cupping her nape, I delved deeper, delighting in her bold lash as she met my strokes with her own raw fury. The ancient, yet visceral connection we still shared surged to a symphony of urgent demand.
Quickly working the buttons of my shirt free, she gently eased the fabric over my shoulders and sent it fluttering to the floor. My muscles quivered and bunched as she skimmed her palms over my chest. When she danced her fingers across my abs and raked her nails through the trail of hair above my jeans, my hips bucked, nudging her hot, soft cleft. The need to strip her bare and drag my tongue over every inch of her warm flesh climbed my spine. Gripping the hem of her tee, I lifted from her lips long enough to drag the fabric over her head before tossing it to the floor. Her parted lips were wet, swollen, and red…begging for more.
Crushing my mouth over hers, I worked open the clasp of her bra. As the straps slipped from her slender shoulders and skimmed down her arms, I dismissed the twinge of pain as I raised hands and cupped her lush breasts in my palms. Before the lacy silk floated to the floor, I stroked my thumbs over her pebbled nipples. With a sharp gasp, she sucked the air from my mouth.
Some things haven’t changed after all.
I wanted to take it slow and savor the thrill of rediscovering every hard peak, hot crevice, and sensitive nub and crest. But when I lifted from her lips and gazed at her full breasts, dusty-pink nipples, and berry-hard tips begging to be sucked, nipped, and laved, all hope of taking my time vanished like smoke.
Peppering kisses along her jaw and down her neck, I latched my mouth on to her ripe breast and groaned. Caris cried out and pressed her fingers against my scalp as I sucked her silky flesh deeper.
I lifted briefly and flashed her a crooked smile. “That’s it, angel. Hold on tight. I’m about to take you on the ride of your life.”
Closing my mouth around her hard, glistening tip, I sucked deep, pressing the stiff peak to the roof of my mouth, then lashed her pebbled nub with my tongue. Caris’s delighted little whimpers, coupled with the restless sway of her hips teasing my impossibly hard erection with a barely there caress, were driving me mad. Leaving a trail across her cleavage, I seized her other breast, bathing it with the same commanding swirls and strokes of my tongue. Delighting in her gasps and hisses and the ripple of pleasure skipping through her, I skimmed my hands down her back, then gripped the cheeks of her ass. I rocked my hips and surged my throbbing, leaking, screaming cock against her juicy cunt.
Oh, I knew she was juicy. Knew her hot nectar was pouring into her panties, because I could smell her. Like an animal who identifies its mate by their unique fragrance, the scent of Caris’s arousal had been imprinted on my psyche long ago. With razor-sharp talons, the demand to sink deep inside her snug, slick tunnel, mark her soul, and claim her heart clawed deep.
“Please, Syd…please,” a desperate whisper tore from Caris’s lips.
“Oh, angel. You don’t have to beg me to make you feel good.”
“But I’m burning up. I’m on fire.”
Her breathless wail and heaving breasts, glistening with my saliva, made my cock want to eat the teeth off my zipper.
“You’re just smoldering, angel,” I murmured kissing my way down her soft, warm flesh.
Lowering to my knees, I worked the button of her jeans free, then dragged down the zipper. Her spicy musk, stronger and even more alluring, filled my senses. Ready to devour her, I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her jeans and gripped the lacy fabric of her panties. Dragging both barriers down her thighs, I fixed my hungry gaze on the saturated dark curls framing her sweet pussy. I was all but drooling, imagining her swollen folds, pink lips, and distended clit. I slid her pants past her knees, down her calves, to her ankles. Caris quickly lifted her feet, kicking the fabric away. Clearly, her patience was at a premium, just like mine.
I gripped her thighs, wanting to spread her open and spear my tongue into her sinful core. Instead, I pressed my nose into her thatch of thick curls and filled my lungs with her carnal perfume, rebranding her scent to every cell in my body.
Drunk on her earthy ambrosia, I lifted my heavy lids and watched torment and bliss play across her face. Listened to her mournful groans and whimpers as I lightly dragged the tips of my fingers up the insides of her legs. Caris’s muscles quivered and quaked beneath my touch. And as I worked my way up her thighs, the wet heat pouring off her pussy enveloped my hands.
Using my thumbs, I ever so slightly parted her folds. Caris sucked in a deep breath and held it. No doubt waiting…wondering…anticipating my next move. When I simply darted my gaze between her expectant expression and her barely exposed swollen pink folds, Caris released the air in her lungs with a mighty exhale and looked down at me.
“What are you doing?” Her voice quivered. Confusion lined her face.
“Admiring the priceless view of your pussy, angel.”
“Do something other than look at it, Syd,” she panted.
“Like what?” I taunted, as a sturdy tremor quaked through her. Thumbs still pressed to her flushed flesh, I held her stare. My mouth watered as I hovered over her curls and cocked a brow. “Touch it? Lick it? Press my cock inside it, fill and stretch you with each thick, throbbing inch?”
Caris swallowed audibly and shook her head. “Y-yes.”
“But I’m not done warming you up yet, angel.”
Chapter 16
Caris
The man…no, the bastard was trying to drive me insane. And dammit, he was succeeding. The heart-melting happiness that had filled my soul when he
sang my song morphed into needy warmth as he’d led me back to the lodge. But the instant his lips crashed over mine and he started dismantling me with his tongue, one potent sweep at a time, sent that warm igniting into flames. They’d grown into a raging bonfire that was singeing every nerve ending in my body.
“Syd,” I warned with a low growl. “If you don’t put your fingers, mouth, or cock inside me this instant, I’m…I’m going to put my clothes on and leave you here to jack off again alone.”
He pulled his hands off my thighs, and I wanted to howl with regret for issuing such a stupid ultimatum. I tried to figure out a way to take it back, but my brain cells weren’t working. The cocky half grin kicked up on one side of his mouth wasn’t helping, either, though it told me he didn’t buy my idle threat, thank god.
Syd released the button of his jeans and started easing the zipper down. As he dragged it over his bulging erection, he clenched his jaw and sucked in a painful hiss. His angry cock, swollen, leaking, and pulsating, burst free and a gratuitous groan tore from his throat as he kicked his jeans aside. A mischievous twinkle danced in his eyes as he wrapped his talented long fingers around his shaft and slowly started stroking himself. “Would you really leave me again like this, Caris?”
I hadn’t even realized I was licking my lips until Syd’s narrow gaze locked on my mouth. He started advancing toward me, prowling like a hungry animal as I blindly backed away.
“You’re not going to leave, are you? No. You’re dying to touch me. Dying to swipe your pretty pink tongue over my dripping crest to see if I still taste the same, aren’t you, angel?”
The breath I didn’t even know I’d been holding exploded from my lungs in a rush. As Syd prowled closer, I continued retreating until the backs of my knees bumped the edge of the mattress.
The man knew I had no intention of walking out. When we were young, Syd could read my thoughts, moods, and feelings as if he’d been hardwired to my psyche. At first, I was terrified that he’d use my transparent insecurities against me. But he hadn’t. That was one of the reasons I’d fallen so hard. His unconditional love and acceptance had filled all the empty spaces in my soul.