by Cala Riley
Even knowing this, I still don’t know if I can forgive him. If I can give him a second chance.
“Here.” She shoves the salad into my hands. “Collect yourself and deliver the salad. I will take the bread out.”
She leaves me alone in the kitchen. I want to be okay. I want to be able to give him another chance. The problem is that my head and heart are at war, and I cannot seem to find my way out.
∞∞∞
“Dinner was a great idea, tesoro. I think the guys and I will go have a cigar while you ladies have dessert.”
Dinner passed by rather uneventfully. When I came back into the dining room, the seating arrangements had already been set. Bash sat at the head with Sofia at his side. Next to her, Mia and Lo sat. To the right of Bash sat Gio with Matt one chair down from him, leaving an empty place between them obviously for me.
I hesitated to take the seat but did so anyway. Tonight isn’t about me and my messed-up feelings. It’s about Mia. I look over to her now. She looks nervous.
“Sit back down. You’re going to have dessert with us.” Sofia’s voice leaves no room for debate, but Bash does anyway.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Sit your sexy ass down. Izzy and I will go help Nonna bring out the dessert.”
They lock eyes, and after a few moments, he gives a barely noticeable nod.
“Iz?”
I jump up and follow Sofia out. As we enter the kitchen, we see Nonna Rosa has already organized the dessert the way we discussed before dinner.
“You think he’s going to be happy?” Sofia stops to ask before we head back into the dining room.
“The man loves her. He will be happy,” Nonna Rosa says from behind us.
“And if he isn’t? Well, I’ll handle it.” I wink at her, and she smiles widely.
“I bet you will. I wouldn’t mind helping.” She winks back.
I chuckle as I lead the way out. I go back to my seat between Gio and Matt. I pause and lock eyes with Sofia who is standing behind her chair. Nonna stands behind Mia and Lo and nods at us. All at the same time, we set down the dessert in front of the men before setting the second down.
I watch as confusion fills Lo’s face, but it quickly gives way to shock. I glance over at Bash and find a smirk on his face. I glance at Mia and find her eyes shining with tears as she briefly meets Bash’s gaze. I quickly look back and watch him raise a brow as if saying “Really?” Glancing back at her, I notice her shrug before turning her attention back to Lo.
He’s still sitting there shocked.
I glance next to me and spot a small smile on Gio’s face.
Dessert is a package of smore ingredients with a tag that reads “Adding s'more love to our family. Baby Underboss coming soon.”
Then each tag is personalized Mine and Sofia’s say “Congratulations Aunt Sofia and Isabella.” Bash, Gio, and Matt’s say “Congratulations Uncle Bash, Gio, and Matt.” Then the happy couple’s says “Congratulations Daddy and Mommy.”
The room is dead silent as we all look at Lo for his reaction. My heart drops into my gut as I notice he still hasn’t moved. Mia’s silently crying.
A hand squeezes mine, and I find a look of concern on Gio’s face.
“Congratulations.” He’s the first to speak.
As if someone hit him, Lo jerks. He looks at Gio then Bash before turning to Mia. She looks scared to death.
“I’m going to be a dad?” His tone is even, no note of emotion in it.
Mia swallows hard. Her voice is shaky when she finally answers. “Y-Yes.”
She doesn’t even get the entire word out before he stands and pulls her into his arms as he swings her around.
“I’m going to be a dad!” he yells.
You can feel the tension leave the room as a smile covers his face. He leans down and kisses Mia hard on the lips. Then he turns and hugs Sofia.
“I’m going to be a dad.” He goes around the room hugging everyone as he repeats those words. He finally makes his way back to Mia. “We are going to be parents.”
I take a seat as I watch them kiss and hug. My smile starts to diminish as my thoughts get away from me, but I force a fake smile back on my face.
A hand on my knee startles me. I turn and look at Gio.
“You okay?” he whispers.
The warmth from his hand sends electricity through my body. He hasn’t moved it. He’s staring at me as the others talk around us.
“Yeah,” I whisper back softly.
He squeezes my knee. “No matter what happened between us, I’m here for you if you need me.”
I feel a genuine smile cover my face as I let my mind take a break for once. “Thanks, G. I know you are.” I place my hand on top of his and watch the surprise fill his eyes.
Maybe Nonna Rosa is right. Maybe I am wasting time.
Giovanni
I watch as a real smile fills her face. She’s gorgeous when she smiles. She’s gorgeous anytime, but especially when she smiles.
“Thanks, G. I know you are.”
Her words are a balm to a wound, easing the unrest in my soul. Then she touches my hand, surprising the hell out of me. Her touch lights me on fire. The calm her words brought me melts away as I feel the fire swim through my veins. She must notice the change in my eyes because she squeezes my hand as her eyes darken in a way I haven’t seen in years. Usually when she looks at me it’s with anger, sadness, or a wistful look that tells me she’s living in the past.
Right now, she’s looking at me like she can’t wait to get her hands on me. It’s the same look I had seen millions of times when we were younger, which usually led to her screaming my name. I’m about to speak when Bash interrupts me for the second time tonight.
“I think it’s time for that cigar, brothers.”
“Oh, I really do want smores. Can you light the fire out back?” Sofia pleads. “Please?”
Bash lets out an overexaggerated sigh then smiles. “Sure, tesoro. Anything for you, my beautiful wife.” He gives her a kiss and gestures to us to follow him.
I turn back to Izzy and squeeze her knee one last time as I lean in to whisper in her ear. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.” I place a chaste kiss on her cheek before I stand up and follow the guys from the room.
Once outside, Bash takes four cigars out of his pocket.
“Gurkha His Majesty’s Reserves. Only the best cigars for my brothers on this momentous occasion.”
“Thank you, brother.” Lo claps him on the back. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a dad.”
Bash clips his cigar and hands the cutter over before pulling out his torch lighter, lighting his cigar. He takes a puff before handing the lighter to Lo as Lo hands the cutter to me. “Believe it, Lo. I never thought I would see the day, but I can’t say I’m disappointed.”
Lo puffs his cigar while handing the lighter to me. “I never thought I would find a woman who would fit me so perfectly.”
I pass the cutter and lighter to Matt before I chime in. “I never thought you would pull your head out of your ass and stop pushing her away.” I puff my own cigar, the aromatic Louis XIII cognac filling the area with a killer aroma.
“I don’t deserve her, but I’m too selfish to let her go.”
“She was worried you didn’t want kids. Treat her right and make her feel confident. That’s all she needs,” Matt says as he hands the cutter and lighter back to Bash.
“I will make sure she never doubts me or my feelings again.”
“Good.” Matt nods.
I look out over the yard as I change the subject. “When is Greer going home?”
“I wanted her to be on a plane today, but she’s a pain in my ass. She claims she wants to spend more time with Ma, but I don’t believe it. I think she’s looking for trouble.”
I chuckle. “How many men do you have on her?”
He groans. “Four of my best. She still slipped away three days ago. It took them hours to find her. She was at
some club in the Bronx. I don’t know if I should be pissed or grateful that she stayed out of my club.”
“Pissed. At least in our club, she would be protected,” Lo grumbles from beside me.
“She’s too smart for that. When are you planning to send her home now?”
“She begged to stay until we go on our honeymoon. Sofia might have persuaded me on her behalf. So, two weeks.”
I nod as I consider our options. “What if I hang out with her a couple of days? Maybe take her to Ivory and keep an eye on her. Take her to dinner. Take her out so she feels like she’s not trapped but keep an eye on her.”
Bash looks over to me as he considers my proposal. “It would work if you can convince her. She won’t trust why you want to spend time with her all of a sudden.”
“Just trust me. I will convince her it’s in her best interest. Maybe Matt can join me one of the nights. She seems to have taken a liking to you.”
“No,” Bash spits out.
“Whoa.” Matt holds up his hands. “No worries, boss man. Your sister is beautiful and a great person, but I do not need the trouble that follows her. I only see her as your little sister.”
Bash relents. “Fine, but you will not be alone with her.” He points at Matt.
“Agreed.”
“Then it’s settled. Thanks, Gio. You’re taking one for the team.” Just as Bash finishes his sentence, the girls pile out of the house with the smores.
“You haven’t even started the fire. Come on, Bash,” Sofia complains.
“I’m doing it now, tesoro. Be patient.”
She sighs and rolls her eyes, but he doesn’t notice. He has already moved to the firepit. Minutes later a fire is started. As everyone moves around to roast marshmallows, I simply watch from the side. This is my family, the people I’m closest with. Yet I can’t help but feel unsettled. Everyone is moving on with their lives, and I’m still stuck in the past. I can’t seem to move on. My eyes fall on Izzy, vita mia cuore mio.
If I could only convince her to give me another chance, my life might finally be complete.
Chapter Four
Isabella
“Iz? Where are you?”
I step out from behind our tree. “Right here. Where we said we would meet.”
I watch as the panic on his face melts away into a smile. He runs over to me and wraps me in his arms. “Cuore mio, my beautiful love. It’s time.”
I pull back and look into his face. “Really? We’re going?”
He chuckles. “Yes, cuore mio, we’re going. Right now. Are you ready?”
I pull away slightly and go to sit in our spot against the tree.
“Cuore mio, I thought this is what you wanted?”
“Of course. There’s nothing I want more.” “Wait here then. I will go grab the car.”
I watch as he runs off with a smile on his face. I can feel the same smile light mine. I let my mind drift off into daydreams of what our future will look like. Giovanni coming home to a home-cooked meal. Our children running to meet him at the door. Me standing in front of the oven with my apron on. The perfect, happy family.
When I come out of my daydream to look for him, I realize he’s been gone too long. And when I go searching for him... life is never the same again.
A sharp pain pings in my abdomen. My hands clutch at it as I gasp through the pain.
“Gio!” I cry out for him as a second pain causes me to collapse.
I look around, but no one is there. I am alone.
I wake up and find myself breathing heavy. I work to catch my breath. It isn’t until I’m completely calm that I realize I’m crying. I hate crying, but whenever I think about my past and things I used to want, this tends to be the result. I hate it, yet I can’t help it.
The images lingering from the haunting dream get to me. It always starts off as something I once wanted. Then it turns into the nightmare that I could have never guessed.
I look at the clock and shake my head. Six in the morning, earlier than I wanted to be up, but there is no way I can go back to sleep now. I pull myself out of bed and go through the motions of getting ready for a run while my head stays stuck in the dream.
The smile on his face.
The feeling in my heart.
My biggest dream back then was to have a family with him.
I walk out of the house and stretch on the front stoop. I smile and wave to Dante as he slides out of the car.
“Going for a run, Miss Isabella?”
“Yep. Did you bring your running shoes this time?”
He chuckles but opens the back seat of the car and pulls out a pair of shoes. “Let’s go back inside while I change my shoes.”
I roll my eyes but agree. Once he has his shoes changed, we continue our stretches in the living room.
“Will we be going on a long run today?”
“I don’t know yet. You sure you can keep up?”
He chuckles. “I sure can, Miss Isabella.”
“Good. I was thinking Prospect Park. Run a couple of the trails then back? Is that okay?”
He smiles warmly. “Yes, that would be fine. Just remember I’m there to keep you safe, so don’t get too far ahead or behind me.”
“Of course. I’ve been a pretty compliant charge so far, haven’t I?”
He grins. “I’ve heard stories of your feistiness, Miss Isabella. Please let me keep you safe.”
My heart pings with thoughts of Johnny, my last bodyguard. I rebelled when they assigned him to me. I often fought against him. I didn’t want him to protect me. It had nothing to do with him really. I didn’t want to be connected to the organization. To Giovanni.
Then he was killed. He died trying to protect me. While I didn’t want the protection, I vowed then to not make their lives harder. It wasn’t his fault he was assigned to protect me. He was only doing his job.
The guilt eats at me just thinking about Johnny.
“Of course. I will stay close. If you can’t keep up, let me know.”
He nods.
I set off at a brisk walk before picking up into a jog. I set a steady pace before glancing over at Dante. “You okay?”
He gives me a small smile. “Yep.”
“Good.”
After that we jog in silence. I let my eyes take in the scenery around me as I let my mind clear. Running always does that for me. When I’m running, my mind isn’t contemplating the universe or going over every single mistake I made in my life.
When I’m running, I’m at peace.
We turn right into Prospect Park and head down the first running trail. I smile as I watch Dante breathing a little heavier. He puts on a brave face, but I have a feeling he doesn’t run as much as he let on.
I push on and notice him lagging a bit behind. I slow slightly to match his pace.
“Need a break?”
“No… Miss… Isabella,” he pants.
I laugh and slow to a stop. “Let’s take a break.”
I stretch my arms while he leans on his knees. I look at my smart watch and note we have already run two miles. I could easily run a couple more, but I take pity on poor Dante.
“Let’s walk back. It will give us a chance to catch our breath.”
He’s still panting, but noticeably less. “No need to take it easy on me. I can run back.”
I internally roll my eyes. Men and their pride. “I know. I want to walk a bit anyway. Maybe chat? I hardly know you, considering how much time we spend together.”
He narrows his eyes suspiciously. I start walking, forcing him to follow. “I think your motives are questionable, but I will allow it.”
I wink at him over my shoulder. “Catch up, slow poke.”
He picks up his pace until he’s walking next to me.
“So, tell me about yourself, Dante.”
“There’s not much to know.”
“Sure there is. You’re a person. You have a story. What’s your story?”
He sighs. “Couldn’t we
run again?”
I laugh. “Your story is so bad that you would prefer running?”
“Not bad. Just boring.”
I shrug. “Let’s hear it.”
“I’m a single thirty-two-year-old. I guard a gorgeous brunette who has a history of finding trouble. That’s it.”
I blush at his comment. “Thank you, I think. What about your family?”
“My mom died when I was a kid. My pops lives in California. I don’t talk to him much. He stayed until I turned eighteen then decided I was fine on my own. He wasn’t around much when he was here.”
“I understand that. My dad was gone more than he was home. He’s long gone now. I don’t even know where he is. He packed up and left one day. I still have my mom though. She has been a great support system for me. She moved outside the city a couple years back, but I still make sure to go visit her from time to time. I talk to her every day. I’m sorry about your mom.” I reach out and squeeze his forearm.
“Thanks, it was hard, but I’m better now. She had cancer, so it’s bittersweet for me. I’m sad she’s gone, but I’m glad her suffering is over.”
We walk in silence for a moment, both of us digesting the heaviness of the conversation.
After a moment, I clear my throat. “No siblings?”
“Nope. Only child here.”
“No girlfriend you said, right?” I tease.
He chuckles. “I had one, but the late nights drove her away. This is a hard job to have and find love.”
I sober at his admission. “I understand more than you know.”
“I heard about your last guard. I’m sorry about him. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I will give my life for you if it comes down to it.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. Why should you give your life for me? Why is mine more important than yours?”
“I can’t answer that for you. All I can say is that I would keep you safe even if it wasn’t my job. I think any humane person would do what they could to protect another. I know the world seems so scary and cold these days, but I want to believe that we all still have our humanity. We would all do what we can to protect another from harm.”