The words make me pause, and I stop. But I don’t turn around. Because looking at him does strange things to me that I can’t explain. I think he’s going to say something else to convince me, but he doesn’t. And he probably won’t. He’s just like the rest of them. Like all the politicians and CEOs that have promised that they’re different and that they’ll actually change. But they never do. It’s not who they are. Money will always win out for people like him.
My work and my ethics are too important to me to sacrifice by jumping in bed with the enemy. Even if every second of that would be filled with pleasure.
Keenan doesn’t speak, and I walk away before I can’t make myself leave.
7
Justine
I really need to get out of here. Because I feel like I’m walking away from something I shouldn’t be, even if I know that I’m right. But I force myself to walk at a normal pace past his secretary to the elevator.
He’s on my skin. I can feel him and smell him. That alluring combination of cedar and leather. It’s like it’s walking with me in a cloud, reminding me of pleasure and passion and everything else.
I want to get him out of my nose so badly that I scrub at my face, which of course doesn’t work. It’s partly his cologne, and partly just a mark he left on me. By being in me. By tasting me.
The elevator seems like it’s moving in slow motion, I swear. My car is parked a couple of blocks away. I need to get there so I can go home and shower and put Keenan Silverman out of my mind.
Rose’s advice was solid. I don’t regret a single second of that experience. But it would take a lot more than being taken on a desk to fuck that man out of my system. And it would be enough to suck me in and make him truly dangerous. Getting used to him—to that kind of life and what it can mean…
It’s terrifying. I don’t want to lose the sense of who I am, and I feel like Keenan is the kind of man that has the potential to make me forget absolutely everything. Everything.
What they don’t tell you about really great dick, is that it’s addictive. You always want more until you want nothing else. And that’s the beginning of the end.
The sun is still shining hot and bright, and the humidity instantly makes me sweat. And that only helps me remember more, smell him more. What the fuck am I doing?
I look to my right as I step onto the street, and suddenly there’s blaring horns and a rush of air and I’m falling on top of someone’s body. The wind is entirely knocked out of me, and my vision blackens with dizziness for a moment before it clears and I’m looking up at the sky.
Running through the images in my head, I realize how close I’d just come to that bumper, and the rush of wind was the car that nearly killed me.
A face blocks out the sun. “Justine.” It’s Keenan. “Are you all right? Did you hit anything?”
I try to focus on his voice. “I landed on you.”
“Good. Let me call an ambulance so we can get you checked out.”
“No,” I say quickly and shove myself to a sitting position. “No, I’m okay.” Moving too quickly makes me dizzy again, but just a head rush. I’m fine. I didn’t hit my head, and I might have a couple bruises, but I was lucky.
Lucky because Keenan pulled me out of the way. “What are you doing here?”
“Me?” The look on his face is a mixture of terror and fury. “What are you doing walking out into traffic? You could have been killed?”
His arms are around me in a second, and everything about him from his stance to his voice speaks of protection. Fingers dig into my spine, and when I look up at him to meet his gaze, I see that same passion, and now possession. I feel it too, greedy for his touch.
I’m shaking, and for just a moment, I let myself lean into him. Keenan gather’s me close, and that scent that seemed suffocating just a couple of minutes ago now seems comforting. I rest my forehead on his chest, and slowly his hand glides up my back to cradle my neck.
My heart is pounding and yet I feel exhausted, the adrenaline draining out of my system with the realization of safety. Keenan came after me. “You came after me,” I say, voice muffled in his shirt.
“I couldn’t let you walk away,” he says softly. “And I’m glad I didn’t. A few second later and…I don’t want to think about that.”
He doesn’t have to fill in the blanks. My mind is already doing it for me more than adequately. “Thank you.”
“And I might add,” he says, with a smile I can hear, “we’re in public. Broad daylight. Touching. And the world didn’t come crashing down.”
I pull away slowly. I don’t want to, and running away from it clearly isn’t working. Anxiety bubbles in my gut. I know that I’m playing with fire, but I also know that if I don’t do something, this will turn into a regret.
Part of me wants to make it easy. Drag him back inside to that fancy office of his and let him fuck me ten ways till Sunday. Or I can be brave and hope that I know what the fuck I’m doing.
I clear my throat and straighten out my clothes as I look at him. “I’ll agree to dinner,” I say, holding out a hand to stop him from interrupting. I can already see that he was going to. “But I have conditions.”
The smile on Keenan’s face is blinding. “Go ahead.”
“No wearing a suit. Casual clothes only,” I tell him.
He chuckles. “Okay.”
“I pick the restaurant.”
“Again, fine,” he says.
Pulling my shoulders back, I meet his gaze square on. “And I pay.”
Raised eyebrows. “Really?”
“It’s that or nothing,” I tell him. “We do this on my terms, or we make a clean break and never see each other again. Not even for a flower delivery.”
“Cactus delivery, technically.”
I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I’ll do it,” he says. “You let me know when and where.”
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I hand to him. Without a word, he takes it and puts in his number, but he’s grinning like a fool and can’t stop. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need a car to get home?”
“I’m fine, I say. My car is a couple blocks away.”
He looks me up and down one more time, as if reassuring himself that I was actually whole and healthy. “Then I’ll see you tonight,” he says with a wink before heading back inside.
I wait until he’s completely out of sight before I let myself smile even a little.
8
Keenan
I collapse onto the couch when I walk into my apartment earlier than I have in months. Even though today was a relatively light day work wise, I’m still exhausted. The amazing sex and the adrenaline of seeing Justine almost run over have taken it out of me.
But I wouldn’t miss tonight’s date for the world.
I’m happy that she’s agreed to see me again—that I somehow convinced her that I wasn’t this evil thing that she seems to think I am. It only took saving her life.
I can’t shake the feeling of terror that I’ve had ever since I saw that car. If I’d been even three more steps away, I wouldn’t have been able to save her. It’s a sobering thought, and one that’s been lodged in my gut all day.
She needs to be safe—I need to keep her safe. My instincts are screaming it. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I just met her yesterday, and even though every cell is screaming that she’s precious and needs to be protected, Justine would punch me for trying to control anything she did.
And I wouldn’t blame her for that.
However, I’m used to being in control. I’ve curated the environment around me so that there’s nothing that can’t be predicted. And I think that’s one of the reasons I’m so draw to her, aside from everything. She’s wild. She can’t be controlled. I love that. And at the same time it makes me anxious.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I manage to rally myself enough to check it. It’s a text from Justine, and suddenly I’m feeling far more awake.
>
Eight o’clock. Lena’s.
She adds the address as well.
I haven’t heard of it. Is it any good?
I watch the little bubbles on the screen and imagine her in apartment typing. Is she in bed? My mental image of her is tousled and gorgeous, lounging on her bed while she texts me.
Honestly, it’s delicious. I promise.
Anything else you can promise me?
A hesitation. What do you mean?
I laugh softly as I type. I mean you’re buying me dinner. Do you promise not to violate my honor? Just cause you’re paying doesn’t mean I’ll owe you.
Your honor is safe with me. You’ll have to discard your honor on purpose.
That is tempting. Does this place have good desserts?
Delicious, why?
I can’t keep the smirk off my face or the way my dick hardens in my pants. You taste like strawberries, I type out. I thought maybe I’d just eat you.
There’s a long pause where there’s no typing on her end. Long enough for me to wonder if I killed her entirely. But then, finally, two little words that make me stiffen to the point of pain, and blow out a breath in sudden arousal.
We’ll see.
In that case, I can’t wait. There’s not too long before I need to leave. Though I haven’t eaten there, I know where the restaurant is. It’s close enough to walk from here. And since I’m going to wear casual clothes anyway, I might as well.
I take a quick shower, resisting the urge to just spend twenty minutes jacking off to the thought of tasting her again. Especially since the real thing is a possibility. Over the years I’ve gotten really good with my hand, but nothing compares to the real thing. Especially the electric intensity of our connection.
Jeans and a t-shirt are all I wear, per Justine’s instructions. To be perfectly honest, I can’t remember the last time I wore jeans out of the house. Sure, I dress casually at home, but whenever I leave home it’s work related. And that means suits.
It’s kind of nice to be out and about like this. It also reduces the risk of me being recognized. I’m not one of those wealthy people whose face is plastered everywhere so that they’re famous for being rich. But I’m well known enough—especially in Portland—that it does happen from time to time.
When I see the tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant, I know why she chose it. It’s small, something that she thinks wouldn’t be on my radar. But she’s wrong. I love small and out of the way places. The reason I’ve never been to this place is that it’s vegan food.
I don’t hate it, and I’ve had some amazing vegan dishes, but I don’t regularly seek it out.
And there, standing on the sidewalk, is Justine. Her hair is down again, and she’s wearing a flowing dress that billows around her feet in the evening breeze. The light from the setting sun makes her glow, and I have the urge to capture this moment in my mind so that I’ll never forget it.
Just then, she looks over at me. And it feels like a miracle when she smiles. Not a full one, but a small one. It’s a smile of private joy and secrets. Of inside jokes and pretending. Something that I already wanted more of with her.
“Hi,” she says as I walk up to her.
“Hello. Is this casual enough for you?” I take my time looking at her, enjoying the view of the gorgeous green dress that sets off her skin and eyes.
She smirks, a look that I could get used to. “I told you to be casual. I, however, never get to dress up at all. Besides, this isn’t even that fancy.”
“You look beautiful.”
I nearly miss the subtle blush on her cheeks, but it’s there for a moment. “Thank you.”
“So Lena’s?”
“It’s really good, and it seemed like it’s not something you would usually do. Very grungy. Not well known.”
I grin at her. “Again with all the assumptions. You’re right about one thing, I haven’t been here. But unlike what you seem to think, I’m very open to new experiences.”
Justine twists her lips to keep from smiling. “Fair enough. Let’s see how you do.”
She leads me inside the restaurant, and already I love the atmosphere. There are low hanging lights and living plants growing from moss farms in the walls. It feels a little like walking into a tropical paradise, and it feels even more that way when we exit onto a back patio with quaint tables and alcoves enclosed with sheer netting. We settle in one of those and wait for a server to come take our order.
I can already see another reason she wanted to come here when I look at the menu. The food is almost criminally inexpensive. Doing the math in my head, I almost can’t imagine how this place breaks even.
“Before you ask how they stay open,” she says, “the owner is independently wealthy and wanted to create a space that provides low cost, healthy food for the community. But it’s so popular that they break even a good portion of the time.”
I raise my eyebrows. “That’s really impressive.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Are you vegan?”
She shakes her head. “No. Vegetarian. But this place is one of my favorite places to eat. It’s amazing, and you really can’t beat the prices.”
I look over the menu, and it does look amazing. When the waiter comes, Justine orders carrot and turmeric soup with roasted beans, and I order a ravioli pomodoro with cashews and tofu.
When our orders are taken, I notice her looking at me. “What?”
She blushes again. “Nothing, you just look nice out of the suit.”
Primal satisfaction twists in my gut. I know I look good, but seeing the look in her eyes when she says it is an entirely different experience.
“You know what else is vegan?” she asks as the waiter brings back our food along with two shot glasses. “Vodka.”
Justine takes hers and knocks it back, and I watch her swallow. Keep it together, Keenan. It’s barely the beginning of dinner. You don’t need to be sporting a boner the whole time. “I think I knew that,” I say. “But it’s always a little bit weird to think about.”
The alcohol burns down my throat. Vodka isn’t my usual go-to, but I’ll take it. Anything to loosen us both up from the tension that’s between us. It’s a comfortable tension, but there is something strong connecting us. A connection that seems inexplicable.
And just as Justine predicted, the food is absolutely amazing. “Wow.”
“I know right? It’s so good. I come here for lunch all the time.”
“Good to know.”
“Oh, you’re going to start stalking me?” She laughs.
I laugh. “Maybe. The only reason I didn’t look you up last night was because I forgot to ask your name.”
Justine leans closer to me, and I’m not even sure that she realizes when she does it. “Well you know it now.”
“Yes,” I say. “I know that you’re Justine. You work at a non-profit that helps the elderly. Your best friend is an excellent florist.” I lean close to whisper in her ear. “And your pussy tastes and feels like heaven.
She’s frozen in a blush when I pull away. It’s not a lie. Not even close to one. And that thing between us grows stronger. But as much as I would like to, I can’t take her on the table in the middle of the restaurant.
Justine lifts her hand, and the waiter appears with two more vodka shots. She throws it back. “And other than the fact that you’re richer than god, hot, and own a business, I know nothing about you.”
“I’m normal. Just like you. I work too much, enjoy a good glass of whiskey at the end of the day.” There’s more to me of course, but I need to win her over further before she’ll accept that I’m more than a stereotype. So instead I turn the questions back on her. Her favorite color is blue, she’s a morning person, and her last name is Jackson.
Over the course of the conversation, we move closer and closer together, and by the time we’re both finished with our plates, our legs are touching and we’re practically sharing breath.
She calls the waiter over and
pays the bill, and as she’s handing it back, I catch her hand. “I’m not ready for this to be over yet.”
“Is this the part where I ravish you in spite of your honor?” she asks.
“If you decided to ravish me, Justine, that would be the honor.”
She lets me hold her hand as we leave, and I guide her down the street in the direction of my apartment. The river is nearby, and we cross to walk near it along the water. The sunset streaked sky is reflecting off the water, the evening cool and perfect. If there was a day for a perfect first date, this is it.
“So do you still think you know who I am?”
She’s quiet as we walk, and I wait. It’s a thoughtful silence. “I’m definitely less sure now. But I’m not sure I’ll ever know for real, unless you tell me. If you’re really different, then prove it.”
I stop walking and press her back against the railing along the river. The sun is fading into nothing, and the sky is a smooth expanse of darkening blue. I miss the little pinpricks that would be visible by now if we weren’t in the city. “Are you used to seeing stars? Or no?”
“I’ve lived here my whole life,” she says. “So I’m used to them not being there. They are beautiful though, when you can see them.”
I nod. “I’ve been here for a long time, but I don’t think I’ll ever be used to so few stars.”
For a moment she looks confused, but that passes as both of us realize together that our bodies are pressed together and that current is binding us closer. With a sudden grin I lean closer. “We didn’t have dessert,” I say softly.
Her eyes widen. “I kind of forgot about it.”
“I didn’t,” I say, gathering the fabric of her skirt into my hand as I look up and down the street. There’s no one nearby, most people downtown are still in restaurants or bars or hanging out at more popular spots around the river. “There’s one dessert I’m very interested in.”
She grabs my arm, gasping as I slip my hand under her skirt and between her legs. There’s nothing but pure heat in her eyes. “Am I violating your honor, Justine?”
The Big Boss Page 4