And then the song is over with quicker than I realized. I’m grinning as I step down off the stage with my drink in hand and my brother is fuming. His arms are crossed and the vein on the side of his neck looks like it’s going to burst open. The scene waiting for me off to the side of the stage is almost comical. Marek is pissed off, Anders looks indifferent, and the bitches are trying to get both of the guys’ attention.
“What the fuck are you drinking, and you better say it’s virgin. If you tell me that’s alcohol, I’m going to beat the shit out of whichever douche in here bought my very minor sister booze.”
I shrug my shoulders and when Marek releases a puff of air, I mumble,” I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Did some random dude just hand you a glass? I thought you were smarter than that, Giselle.”
He reaches for my drink and I pull away from him downing as much as I can in one very large gulp. The liquor burns, warming my throat all the way down to my belly. I start to sputter but refuse to let him see how it affects me. I slide my tongue out wiping the little bit that dribbled out and I don’t miss Anders’ intense stare. I offer him a wink before turning to my brother and saying, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, big brother. No, I didn’t take a random drink from a stranger. I ordered the drink myself with my fake ID. I didn’t know what to get, so I ordered something I heard on a show once. It was the first drink to pop in my head.”
“And what was that?” Anders asks as he takes a small step toward me.
With another shrug, I say, “It’s banana daiquiri. I don’t really know what’s in it though other than the banana part, which is definitely very fake. I would have guessed it was a virgin daiquiri since I can’t taste any alcohol in it, but judging by the warmness traveling through my body, I’m going to say it’s definitely filled.” As I say those words, I take the straw out and tilt the glass to my mouth and down the remainder of its contents. I watch Anders over the rim as I bring it down and I run my tongue along my lip and soak up the slush that was left behind. I wasn’t much of a fan of the fruity concoction with the first sip, but now I kind of like it and would totally go grab another if my brother wasn’t standing right in front of me giving me the death glare.
I don’t know why I choose that moment to look back up at the stage, but the previous song ends and a familiar bubblegum pop song starts playing. I’ve heard the popular song by Dream on the radio so much I could probably recite the words by heart. What I’m not prepared for is the girls who were hanging out with Marek and Anders are on the stage and they’re all looking straight at me. They giggle as they dance around the teeny tiny stage like they’re suddenly pop stars strutting their stuff in front of ten thousand fans. The stringy blonde seems to be the ringleader of the group and when she belts out, “He Loves U Not,” at the top of her lungs she points her finger right at me.
Rude bitch, nobody asked her.
My shoulders quake and I can’t take the laughing faces of the bimbos on the stage. I shake my head at both guys and without another glance, I pivot on my heel and head toward the bar entrance. I push through the crowd and cover the distance quickly. When I hear my name being called from behind me, I quicken my pace and gasp when I break out into the chilling night air. I don’t look back as I race toward the beach and hope I can lose whoever was following me.
Chapter Twelve
Giselle
“Ahh!” The water is much colder than I had anticipated, but I don’t take a step back. My bare toes caress the water. Where did my shoes go? With all the liquor flowing through my bloodstream right now, there’s a small part of me that knows this isn’t safe, but the other part—the one that doesn’t care—is the one that wins out. This small coastal town isn’t that big and eventually, I’ll make way back to the beach house as long as I continue walking in the direction I’m going…I think? At least I hope that’s the case. I guess I’ll find out in the morning whether or not that’s the truth.
The breeze picks up on the ocean water wrapping my entire body in its coldness. What a fool I have been. I barely even know Anders and yet I became a blubbering juvenile mess after drinking one cocktail. Serenading him with the song “Kiss Me.” Who even does that? Even though the mist from the ocean splashes against my cheek they still heat up and are no doubt reddening by the second. And those girls? They thought the whole spectacle was hilarious, but that wasn’t good enough for them. They really had to nail into my coffin by singing their own song.
Bitches.
Just a bunch of mean girls. If that’s the kind of girl who Anders goes for, then I guess I’m better off without him. I know what I did was silly and naïve, but if roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have done something so petty and malicious.
I hug my arms tight around my shaking body wishing I had a coat or wearing a pair of pants instead of this thin piece of fabric called a dress. Way to go, Giselle, you truly are a stupid girl. Wet sand flies up against the back of my legs and I don’t even have to turn around to know somebody finally caught up with me. I don’t know whether I want it to be my brother or Anders at this point. Both would be equally embarrassing.
“Dammit, Giselle! Will you stop running away from me and hold on for one damn second?”
The back of my neck is warmed from each exhale of his heavy breathing. I wasn’t walking that fast, so I don’t really know why it took him so long to catch up with me. The pit of my stomach tightens with knots as I pause and wait. The cold mist of water against my face and the brief bit of exercise has sobered up any alcohol that remained in my system and I’m not sure I’m prepared for whatever he has to say to me.
My breath catches as Anders forces his way around me and I see the crazed look in his eyes. “Do you know how dangerous it is for you to be out here by yourself right now?”
“Stop acting like you care. You and I both know that you don’t. Just go back to the bar with the other girls.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” His hand clamps down on my shoulder whipping me around to face him. His eyes look wild. I almost instinctively take a step back from Anders because this isn’t a side of him I’ve ever seen before and I have no idea what to expect. His voice is hard and rough when he says, “You don’t think I care about you? You don’t think I stay up at night thinking about what you’re doing down the hall from me? If you’re asleep or wide-awake thinking about me? Do you know how many times I have considered saying ‘fuck it’ and just taking what I want? Because I care, Giselle. I care way too fucking much, but I can’t do it. I can’t go there. I can’t.”
His last two words are almost carried away by the wind, but I still catch them. I’m frozen in place. I thought he might have a thing for me, but never could I imagine his feelings would be so strong. I’m so over my brother having this much control over this portion for my life, let alone any part of it. If he wasn’t in the picture, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. Hell, Anders might have been reluctant over my age but that wouldn’t have lasted for long. I get my wits about me and muster up confidence that I don’t even know where it’s coming from and I close the distance between us. Without even thinking, I lean forward and place my lips on his.
It's not even a kiss. More like our lips are resting against one another. His body is as stiff as a surfboard and if I’m being honest with myself it’s awkward as hell. What was I even thinking? I wasn’t, that’s for damn sure. I shake slightly in the breeze and pull my head back. His eyes are wide open and searching my face. Hugging my arms to my body I croak out the only thing that I can think of. “I’m sorry that was stupid. I don’t even know what came over me. You just got done telling me you couldn’t do this and there I go acting on impulses again. I’m jailbait and not worth the risk. I promise it won’t happen again.”
I don’t get another word out as he interrupts me by slamming his lips down on my own. I’m lost in the feel of his slightly rough skin against my soft. The little bits of scruff on his face rub against my c
heeks and I have a feeling they will be red with rawness, but I don’t even care. He tangles his fingers into my hair and tugs me slightly closer to him. I don’t even think twice as I open my lips and let his tongue slide between them. My body is on fire with the electricity as it travels throughout every piece of my being and I can’t handle this feeling. I’m about ready to combust with lust and happiness.
His exploration is slow and thorough as he discovers parts of me that no one has ever touched before. I, Giselle Outlaw, am a seventeen-year-old girl and until this moment, I have never been kissed before. I was waiting for this moment right here. The earth-shattering only happens in the movies kind of kiss and I am so glad that I didn’t waste my lips on stupid boys. We move together in unison and I dig my fingers into his sides.
He quickly breaks the kiss, but his forehead falls against my own. His breathing is coming out hard and labored, mirroring my own and I know he’s feeling everything that I am. “I can’t promise you anything, but I refuse to say never. Who knows what will happen tomorrow or ten years from now? I definitely don’t. The only certainty I can offer you is not today. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s all I’ve got.”
I hate my treacherous heart. Lighting itself up at the possibility no matter how minuscule it is. Hope is a dangerous game to play with my heart, but I’m addicted to the thrill. If we’re meant to be then my brother won’t be what stands in our way. He cannot have that much power over my life and my future. Anders wraps his arms around my body even tighter and I melt into his embrace taking everything he’s willing to offer me at the moment. If he refuses to give in to what we both want, then I’ll have to settle for this and hold the memories of our kiss for as long as I can.
It might not be today or tomorrow, but as long as there’s hope I’ll hold out for our happily ever after. I refuse to believe that our story ends here with one almost summer. The oranges and pinks in the sky brighten as the sun rises for the day. I snuggle closer into Anders’ arms and it’s not his body that warms me, but the hope that someday we’ll have our forever.
* * *
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Chapter 1
GISELLE
Get back in your car.
Turn around and don’t look back.
I repeat the words over and over in my head, so much so that they start to feel like a weight rolling around on my tongue. Always the stubborn one, I ignore my better judgment and press the button on the key fob, locking my car behind me. My five-inch Louboutins click-clack on the pavement with each steady step as I get closer to my destination.
The leers from the different men I pass are something I’ve grown accustomed to, and they go unnoticed as I quickly make my way to the back of the store. I move robotically as if I’ve done this a million times, but the truth is I’ve never actually been here before.
I push down the guilt nagging at the back of my mind, the guilt of the promise I made and broke so many years ago. That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve thought about and even dreamed of it. My sense of self-preservation has prevented me from making the move my heart wanted me to—until tonight, that is.
As I move down the hallway, my movements echo all around me, getting me closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s almost poetic, coming in here for the first time and instantly feeling at home while at the same time knowing I’m about to say goodbye. I move into the intimate space and everything looks so familiar.
He really and truly did it.
The room is laid out exactly as he described it to me when we were kids. The huge bar with the ceiling-high shelves of liquor, most of which are bottles of gin. The large mirror behind the bottles and the crushed red velvet cushioned booths lining the subway tiled walls. All the way down to the vintage claw-foot tub right in the middle of the room.
I laughed at him, said it would be silly to have a bathtub in the middle of a bar, and yet it works here. Of course, I should have never doubted him. It seems like everything Anders does turns to gold.
My breath catches in the back of my throat as I stay hidden back in the shadows, watching. It feels a little voyeuristic and weird, but I can’t move from my spot. Everything around me floats away, and I don’t even acknowledge the man who almost crashes into me as he zooms past, headed toward the bar, the same place my focus has been locked onto.
He’s here.
I don’t know what I expected when I planned on coming here, but I’m happy I at least get to say goodbye, even if I don’t say it to his face. Anders wears the biggest grin as he flips liquor bottles in the air while he mixes up a drink. He looks completely at home and in his element, acting like Tom Cruise in the movie Cocktail. Not everyone could pull off the antics, but judging by the women seated at the bar hanging on his every movement, it’s working pretty damn perfect for him. No wonder he makes a killing here and was able to open his restaurant as well.
I won’t even let myself think about the fact that I am staring the hardest. From the tightness in his arms as his muscles strain against the button-up shirt every time he whips around to the fedora resting on the top of his head—the one I picked out for him all those years ago, the one he’s never let go of—that look is one hundred percent working for him. I stand here watching him like a creepy stalker for a few moments longer, programming everything about him into my memory—even though it was branded there the first time we met—before turning around and heading back the way I came.
No matter how badly I wish things could be different between us, I know that will never be a possibility. He made himself very clear on the beach when we were just kids, saying he would never pursue anything with me and ruin his friendship with his best friend and my older brother, Marek.
It’s been seventeen years and he has always stood by that proclamation. I’m not about to convince myself that things are suddenly going to change now.
After all this time.
I make it halfway down the hallway then realize I’m not alone. I stop dead in my tracks, and I don’t even have to turn around to know it’s him.
I force myself to stay looking forward even as his voice pulls me back. “What are you doing here, Giselle?”
There are a million things I want to say to him, and at the same time, there’s nothing I want to say. With my back still facing him, I shrug and simply say, “I’m leaving.”
“I can see that. Why don’t you at least come have a drink before you go home?” I can hear the smile in his voice when he adds, “Since it took you long enough to come see the place.”
I swallow my emotions and finally let myself turn around. I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that would hit me upon seeing him up close, and the intensity almost knocks me out. He’s always been gorgeous, even when we were kids, but as an adult, he’s no longer that boy I fell in love with. No, the person standing in front of me is all man, and the clothing he’s wearing pulls tightly in all the right places, not hiding a single thing.
I take a deep breath and say, “No, you don’t get it. I’m leaving. I didn’t think you’d be here. I wanted to see it at least once before I left.”
As the finality of what I’m saying sinks in, he takes a small step toward me. My head demands I retreat, but my heart won’t let me do it, and I’m frozen in place. He takes that as my response and continues moving forward. With his last hesitant step, he’s standing merely inches away from me.
He takes the sexy hat off his head, and I finally get a good look into his eyes. The same ones I used to get completely lost in. They’re searching mine for who knows what and he finally asks, “What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?”
Laughter echoes from the bar at the end of the tunnel up to us, and I’m reminded of where we’re standing. Control of my limbs finally comes back to me and I turn away from him, taking a step to
leave and throwing over my shoulder, “You should get back to work. It seemed pretty busy in there.”
That’s obviously not the answer he’s looking for as Anders’ hand grips down on my shoulder, whipping me around to face him. His eyes are on fire and he nudges me back against the cold concrete, trapping me against the wall. He holds my arms at my sides and when his leg slides between my own, I moan out, enjoying the closeness of him.
I shouldn’t be turned on right now, but I can’t help my traitorous body and how it’s always reacted to his. I lean into his hand as he brings it up to the side of my face and forces me to look him in the eyes. I’m not prepared for the fierce determination looking back at me. This is a side of Anders I’ve never seen before, and I don’t know whether I should be scared or turned on.
“Now tell me what you mean by that. Where the hell are you going and why did that sound like a permanent goodbye?”
He releases his grip on my face, but I dare not defy him when he’s acting like this—although part of me wants to just to see what he’d do. It sends a small thrill through my body, but I let go of my bit of rebelliousness and answer his question. “Paris. I’m going to Paris.” I shrug and then add on, “And that sounded like a goodbye because I only bought a one-way ticket. I need a breather from everything, and I didn’t want a deadline looming for my return.”
He lets out a string of curses but doesn’t release his hold on my body. At this point, I’m putty in his hands, and I don’t think I’d be able to stand on my own even if I wanted to. The noises from the bar continue echoing in the small hallway we’re occupying, and I’m vaguely aware of the fact that anyone could interrupt us at any given moment.
I have no idea what he’s thinking, but the last thing I expected was his mouth to slam down on mine. I temporarily freeze as he literally sucks the air out of me. It only takes a moment before I’m right there with him and I curl my hands into his hair, pulling him even closer toward me. He groans into my mouth as I tug lightly on the ends and he deepens the kiss.
Kiss Me Page 7