“Agh! How much then?”
Johansen shook his head with those big bulgy eyes staring back at me.
“Zese are not for sale. You can rent zem for Å500.”
I was this close to beat him into a pulp. These prizes were getting outrages. Even if it was all the necessities I could possibly hope for. There was a nice pickaxe, enough rope and some other stuff.
“I-” I started as I dug deeper into my pockets, “I don’t have 500 artums!”
Johansen gave me an ominous stare with narrowed eyes as he pulled the equipment away from me and closer to him. I threw my hands into the air with defeat. I only had like 103 artums left. There was no way I could pay for that equipment.
“I guess we’ll just have to go without equipment. You can’t say we didn’t make a stop at your shop.”
Johansen nodded, sharing my point. His duty had been carried out and he was safe. Yet, as always, I had a plan. Even I wasn’t that stupid as to go without equipment. I forced back a devious grin.
“To show our gratitude, I would like Yoldrig to play a little song for you. Hit it!”
Yoldrig lifted his gaze. “Oh my! I always wanted to play the accordion.”
I returned him a smile and a slight gesture to go ahead. His terrible singing was bound to distract Johansen…
And so, after snatching a lone accordion from one of the shelves, Yoldrig began to play, hopping along to the music. The bard seemed more excited than a troll who just got bacon. To my surprise, Yoldrig didn’t sing, but yodelled.
Yodel-yodel-yo-hoo-oo! Yodel-yodel-yo-ha-ha! Yodel-yodel-yo-hi-haw!
Yodel
(Scream)
Yodel
(Scream)
Yodel-yodel-yodel!
It was screeching to my ears. Either he didn’t know how to yodel properly or he added his own unique, terrifying touch. There was an expression of horror imprinted to my face.
I’m yodeling I’m yodeling!
Yodel-yodel-yodel-yodel!
Yodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Oo!
Yodel-yodel-yo-ho-oo! Yodel-yodel-yo-ha-ha! Yodel-yodel-yo-hi-haw!
He had this strange way of dancing as he sang that last verse of his. His head moved from side to side like an uncontrollable sprinkler, jumping along to the beat. Whenever he sang ‘ho-oo’ or ‘ha-ha’ his head paused and turned into a froglike expression as he pursed his lips as he sang. He bit his lip with sheer excitement.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
His screaming was the worst… trust me. I found this disturbing and slightly awkward, but Johansen, on the other hand, saw it from a way different point of view. One I could not predict when I silently worked out the plan in my head.
“Vot is zis heavenly voice? I must join immediately!” Rushing past the counter, Johansen soon joined Yoldrig.
“Yoooooooodel!” Yoldrig gave his last solo opera. Together the two began to yodel.
Yodel-oh-ee-dee
Diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee
Diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee
Yodel-oh-ee-dee-ay-dee
Yodel-oh-ee-dee-yodel-oh-dee!
Diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee-yodel-oh-dee
By this time I was already chewing my hair. Now this guy had to start singing too…
Johan-sen Karl-heinz!
I live on ze mountains
Guardian of ze gate
I scream und shout
To keep bastards away!
Yodel like a goat
On ze snowy mountain road!
Dancing round ze fire as my heartbeat races higher
And I say ah…
Yodel-oh-ee-dee-ay-dee
Yodel-oh-ee-dee-yodel-oh-dee!
Diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee-yodel-oh-dee
Johan-sen Karl-heinz!
Zat’s no one else but me!
I sing my song so free!
Swing my flail at you!
Proof my dignity…
Und I eat my fish, vondering…
if HE vill leave me be
vhilst I do my duty!
Rob and steal and bargaining you out of a deal…
Johan-sen Karl-heeeeinz…
I thought this to be his big finish, but…
Einer!
Zwei!
Drei!
And there goes the yodelling again…
With both Yoldrig and Johansen distracted, I decided this to be the perfect time to take action. I swiftly grabbed the equipment, adjusting the pickaxe to my belt, throwing the rope over my shoulder and so on. I continued until I was sure I had all the necessities.
I turned around, ready to escape the cabin at will, when I saw THAT. As Yoldrig played, Johansen was happily dancing along: Arms in arms and dancing in circles, switching positions as they did. Before I knew it they had switched to the can-can. The soon as they did a butt-bump, I knew I had seen enough.
I was halfway out the door when I called, “Come on! Let’s go!”
I exited.
The moment I realized that he wasn’t coming out soon, I popped my head back into the cabin and yelled, “YOLDRIG!”
The bard gave a sigh and returned the accordion. He reluctantly said his goodbye and left.
Johansen stretched his hand out to Yoldrig.
“Nein! Vait! Come back! You have ze voice of an angel!”
Yoldrig replied with, “I promise I will return!”
Johansen bore an expression of melancholy.
“I vill vait for you! Auf wiedersehen!”
Their little I-will-miss-you conversation was enough to make anyone believe that this might have been one of those romances…
Finally we could get a move on and strode towards the pass. It was open and we were free to pass through… though… deep inside I felt kind of sorry for Johansen. You know, robbing him and all, but what else was I to do? The guy wasn’t cheap!
Oh well, one thing was clear though. We had to get through the mountain pass before Johansen notices his items to be gone or else be locked within or crushed by shooting boulders.
CHAPTER 14
CHASING THE WEATHER
CARLAYLIN
THE WIND WAS RAMPAGING about and snow fell from the heavens in a raging gale. A single gloved hand grabbed the edge of a drop. With much effort it managed to pull itself up.
Yoldrig rolled onto the edge and dropped on his back, planted in the thick layer of snow and completely exhausted and shivering. He breathed out vapour, watching as it was swept away and vanished.
“W-Why d-didn’t you h-h-help me up?”
I passed over his question with no reaction. I was too busy scanning our surroundings. All I could see were rocky cliffs, snowy mountain trenches and paths and frozen vegetation. The rampant snowfall restricted my line of vision.
Yoldrig let out a cold breath he had been holding for quite the while and got to his feet.
“I’m dying up here!”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I didn’t even dare face the bard.
“Oh, stop your whining, Yoldrig. It’s always about you, isn’t it?”
Yoldrig snorted and trudged his way through the thick layer of snow and to my side. It only seemed to leave him even more breathless.
“Careful,” I warned, “Our body temperature is quicker to rise up here. Your body is weak and feeble and is more likely not to survive this trip. Try to lower your activity rate.”
For once in a few, Yoldrig was speechless, staring at me with eyes of disbelieve. I’d say he should thank me for the tip, but nooo. Yoldrig just had to go and be offended.
Instead of jumping to insults, Yoldrig moved on to more important matters. He gave a few steps forward and scanned the towering mountainsides. He was carefully searching for a way further up the mountain.
“Are you sure we aren’t lost?” I asked, “If I’m not mistaken, I’m sure I’ve seen this place before.”
Yoldrig ignored me and continued his study. He had officially been put in charge of navigating us through the mountains and towards the dragon’s lair. The only reason I still l
et him lead was because I trusted Tarauntis’ judgement, though I admit that I did have my doubts. If I were to die on these mountains, I’d make sure to take Yoldrig with me to the grave…
“Come on, Yoldrig! We’re going in circles. It has already been six hours! You’re leading us to our doom. I’m tired, I’m exhausted and I’m hungry! Beware yourself if we are forced to spend a night here. I will eat you. You hear me? I will make you my last grand feast before submitting to the reaper!”
Yoldrig sighed and looked back over his shoulder to meet my infuriating eyes. He knew very well that I wasn’t kidding. With an unnoticeable little gulp he returned his gaze back to study the paths up ahead. To avoid himself looking like a pathetic leader, he enthusiastically threw his finger off into a direction and called, “This way!”
I was sure we were lost the moment he chose that random path, but I tried to be understanding of the situation. If you were stuck on a massive mountain range without a map and only your wits to guide you, you would’ve been lost easily as well.
We trudged up mountain slopes, slid down the trenches and climbed the boulders and unstable rocky mountainsides. We squeezed through narrow passages and forced ourselves against the strength of the wind. We made good use of our ropes, grappling hooks and pickaxes to make the best of the situation. We pushed through the snow and went off in all directions until finally approaching what looked like a deep hollowed cave.
It led off into the gloom, shrouded by shadows of the unknown. It looked beyond creepy. I could hear the echo of wind inside, bouncing off the cave’s rocky walls and turning into a ghostly moan. The stalactites and stalagmites were gigantic and the rocky surface seemed rather dry and ancient. I was just glad that my guide paid off.
Yoldrig actually new his way through the mountain.
“If my knowledge does not betray me, this must be the lair of Imperion,” Yoldrig said, tipping his chin towards the shadows, looking up at the entrance with such a fright that it might as well have been some massive beast of its own.
I gestured him to hand me a torch and so he obeyed.
“C-Come on,” I said, rather hesitant, “We do this now and get it over with.”
“Perhaps I should wait outside. I’ve done more than enough.”
I shot him a livid stare. All Yoldrig could do was shrug with a pair of pursed lips. He seemed really set on staying behind.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked, feeling rather annoyed at my little bard fellow here. I haven’t dragged him this far just to let him go this soon. As though on cue, there was a loud piping screech echoing down the cave. I yelped and fell against Yoldrig.
I’m not lying if I say we both turned seven shades whiter, the hairs on our backs standing on end. I gradually shot a glimpse at Yoldrig. He just shook his head. He wasn’t going in there anytime soon.
“Well, would you rather stay here and risk being eaten by wolves and hunt down by snow trolls and goblins?”
Yoldrig remained silent. His eyes were focused on me like a scared little boy.
“Goblins. You know? They hide themselves in the snow, slither closer like a snake and jump out behind you, stick a spear through your skull and rip your head clean off. Goblins, you know. Those guys. Might be here and we don’t even know. At least in there, we’ll be more aware, though as dark as it is.”
Yoldrig shot me one bitter frown before giving a huff and getting himself back on his feet. Dusting himself off he said, “Very well, but if I do not make it, find me a tavern and tell them I was a legend.”
I watched as Yoldrig grabbed the torch from me and marched into the cave, lighting it the moment he set foot inside the ancient mouth. I gave an unnoticeable gulp and followed from behind.
The deeper we wandered into the cave, the eerier it got. The surface turned slimy and several glowing bat eyes followed us from above, but they weren’t the only ones…
I grasped the hilt of my sword as I saw other shadowy figures scampering about and following us from the shadows. The cave visibly played the strings on Yoldrig’s nerves like fragile harp... mine too, maybe…
With every sudden sound, every screech, every scratch, every step, Yoldrig swung around with his torch, the fires dancing unstably, each time on the verge of dying out.
The obscure figures knew better than to come too close. All I could see were scrawny figures scampering along the walls on all fours with a pair of pale glowing eyes. They seemed curious and rather… hungry.
I gulped.
We picked up the pace. Each step only provoked Yoldrig’s anxiety even more. It wasn’t until a swarm of large bats abruptly came swooping down the old ancient rafters that Yoldrig had had enough. He gave a loud and terrified scream, dropped the torch and dashed back the way we came. He was out the cave in no time, but me… I was left in the darkness, alone, yet not so alone after all.
The torch’s fire had snuffed out and I felt stuck… somehow trapped in the clutches of this darkness.
“Yoldrig?” I asked softly. There was no answer. More eyes popped up around me and all stared at me. I gulped.
“Yoldrig?” I asked again with an even more pitched tone. The numerous sets of eyes blinked and turned red.
“Mama,” I whimpered, my voice squeaky.
“YOLDRIG!” I yelled as I ran for my life. I screamed all the way, running off in all directions, though it was too dark to see. From left to right, from right to left, up and down and down and up. My heart was racing like a steam engine and I ran as quickly as my legs could carry me.
“If I see Yoldrig again I will skin him alive!” I shouted, possibly losing my mind.
I raced through the cave.
I had never been so frightened in all my life. At some point it looked as though I was starting to lose those slimy little buggers. I was on a roll until I ran into a wall and fell flat on my bum. I was quick on my feet, feeling around for a way out, but there was nothing. The moment I thought there was no way out and that I might get a heart attack, I accidentally stepped on some sort of trigger. For a moment nothing happened and I just stood there. Well, I did hear some kind of mechanism groaning to life, but there was absolutely no result.
And then I remembered… that faithful fact that I was a wizard. I would’ve given myself a head palm if I weren’t busy fearing for my life.
With the snap of my finger, the palm of my hand burst into a blaze of fire, lighting the area around me.
There was a sudden screech right behind me. I jumped and shouted, “MAH!”
Right before claws could dig into my skin. The fire scared the creature, and creatures, away, but they were horrifying to look at – skinny, long legs, practically only bones, big glowing eyes… cannibals who hadn’t seen the sun in decades.
I felt the floor below me lowering and sent me tumbling down a steep slope.
“WHAAAAA!” I yelled as I slid all the way down, accidentally letting my fire extinguish. I slid through a corridor filled with the dim light of winter. Crystal clear water rained as a waterfall from above and disappeared down below. It was absolutely beautiful, natural light lancing down from the array of rocks above. Too bad I didn’t have much time to wonder and ponder over the amazing scenery. I was too busy screaming and falling, all until shooting right through the air and plummeting into a hard rocky cave surface once again – face first.
With a groan I lifted my head and raised my gaze up, and up, and up… right up a figure of white scales until seeing the head of a great white dragon, serenely sitting with a formal and proud posture, staring out across the mountain range of the Snowy Blue Mountains through a large grand window of ancient stone.
Truth be told, it gave the appearance of no more than a gigantic hole in the mountainside, but who was I to judge?
The pale light caressed its scales. The dragon looked beyond massive from down here. I almost made a little accident in my trousers… almost. I didn’t.
The dragon was well aware of my presence, but kept his gaze elsewh
ere, scanning the beauty of the rest of the mountain range stretching far into the distance. It was rather cold in here and I could see vapour escaping both my mouth and the dragon’s enormous nostrils.
“I do not know if that is a bow or idiocy,” he mumbled to himself, clearly unaware of who I was. Though, question was, why not eat or fry me or something of the like?
“D-Death comes to all,” I stuttered, rather flustered.
The dragon seemed even more flustered by my words than I was by him.
(Note: for these just tuning in, these massive gents don’t speak English. They speak ADULL – tongue of the ancient dragons – and me being Drachem means that I automatically speak their tongue. Boom! Oh! And I can also withstand YOFNEG, dragon breath.)
“What?” Imperion slowly turned his head to face me, sounding half and half… shocked.
His gigantic pure white eyes looked at me as though he was trying to pierce through my soul and reveal its deepest, darkest secrets. I wasn’t ready to be exposed yet!
Imperion kept a steady eye on me. Step by step I slowly pushed myself to my feet, my eyes fixated on the gigantic dragon. I felt so small. The guy was towering over me, possibly the same size as Tarauntis, possibly bigger.
“D-Death comes to us all,” I stuttered, “may it be close or not, it is well on its way. Tarauntis sent me to you, great Dragon of Air.”
Imperion narrowed his eyes, looking at me under suspicion. What? Can’t a girl just crash into a wall nowadays? Geez, everything is getting restricted.
“Who are you?” Imperion almost sounded angry.
It were times like these that when I knew I had to scrape together all the courage I could muster. I kept myself straight with a proud posture, proud of who I was and what I could do. This wasn’t the time to go running off and wetting yourself.
“You know well who I am,” I started with a loud and clear voice, “A Drachem. Carlaylin Thorel.”
It was almost as though Imperion’s eyes glinted with a spark of realisation. His eyes broadened and he brought his head slightly closer to me, trying to study me up close. I held my breath.
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