by Stacy Jones
She’d spent the day before training a few people how to throw spears and to use a bow, the lookouts were stocked with heavy things to throw down at the invaders, plus the entire tribe had been armed, but she was afraid it wasn’t going to be enough.
Lily was terrified that they would need her and the guys’ skills on different parts of the border, forcing them to split up.
She didn’t want that to happen, yet she also knew herself and her guys and knew they wouldn’t refuse to help when everyone’s safety may depend on them going where they were needed to hold the line.
As they traveled, Lily began to hear calls, shouts, and cries, bringing the usually quiet nighttime forest to sinister life. She heard people panickedly yelling out names as they searched for friends or loved ones in the darkness, shouts for help, and warning cries as they were attacked or when they spotted some of the intruders.
She felt like her heart was going to pound its way out of her chest and adrenaline was making her fingers tingle where they were clutched tightly to Frrar’s neck. She kept jerking her head from one spot to another, trying to follow those voices, then down to see if she could catch a glimpse of their attackers, but the shadows hid almost everything from her.
Drrak picked up the pace ahead of them, swinging through the trees at an alarming speed, racing to get to the nearest scout blind to find out where they were most needed.
When they were close, Drrak yelled out a question to the person posted inside the concealed nest. He was answered by a feminine voice in the darkness, telling them they were being attacked in four different spots on the border and that there were hands upon hands of people the likes of which they’d never seen advancing on them.
The unseen woman suddenly screamed out that they were getting though right before Lily heard a grunt, followed by something heavy crashing to the ground below and a low, alien-sounding cry of pain. That first volley was followed by more as the woman hurtled stones down on the enemies below.
Lily was already twisted around to see over her shoulder, trying to make out the assailants below, when she felt, more than saw, Drrak glance back at her.
Whipping her head up to him, they made eye contact just before he turned and disappeared into the foliage below.
She gasped and reached for him, a denial on the tip of her tongue, but Frrar jerked them around and took off in a different direction before she could voice her demand that Drrak come back.
She’d known they would be separated, but her earlier acceptance of that vanished in the face of her terror at seeing him leave.
She couldn’t keep him safe if he wasn’t with her.
He was going down there, alone, to face who knew what kind of monster.
“He can’t go down there by himself!” she managed to choke out before they’d gone more than ten feet.
“Arruk,” she cried, the plea leaving her lips before she could stop herself.
Her heart felt like it shrank in on itself in her chest, and she wanted to take it back as soon as she said his name.
Arruk was already handing Trrak to Tor, as if he’d been planning to join his brother before she’d said anything. He looked at her and reached out to brush his fingertips along her cheek, the touch gone too soon.
“Mehashk, mek Lily.”
“I love you,” she quavered, her throat so tight the words came out choked and shaking. “Don’t you dare get hurt. Either of you.”
Every trace of gentleness disappeared from Arruk’s face at her command, replaced with savage resolve. He nodded once before he shot away, following his twin into danger and darkness.
Her face crumpled as suppressed tears burned her nose like acid.
Please, please let them be okay.
There were more and more shevari swinging within the trees as Lily, Frrar, and Tor kept speeding along. They were barely visible with their camouflage, but she could spot them by random shafts of illuminating moonlight and the panicked urgency with which they moved, identifiable as deeper shadows darting around in the dark.
The glimpses she got were of battle-ready shevari, some terrified, some fierce, but all armed to the teeth and scary looking as they headed off to fight for their lives.
Lily tried to push through the panic she felt for Arruk and Drrak. She assumed Frrar was taking her on a lap around the inner perimeter to see where they were needed, where the enemies were close to breaching their defenses. It wasn’t until she heard the tearful, scared voices of children in the distance that she realized Frrar was taking her, Tor, and Trrak to the main tree in the center of their land, nowhere close to where she needed to be.
“Why the hell are you going to the Shevak Sha, Frrar? We need to go to the border!” she hissed, instantly furious because she knew, just knew, he wanted to leave her there, where it was safest.
He didn’t answer her, just moved faster, his night vision allowing him to swing them through the trees at breakneck speed. Lily continued to demand he turn around, but he was immovable, driven by a single-minded determination to get her to safety.
He landed on the platform surrounding the massive, main tree with a jarring thump, cutting off her impressive litany of cuss words. Tor, with Trrak, landed directly after, set the cub down, and followed them into the hollow section.
Frrar didn’t let her down until they were inside, ignoring her angry wiggling. Once she was on her feet, Lily spun around to cuss him out some more, but the faces of dozens of children stopped her in her tracks.
Freezing in place, she scanned the group of small, scared faces staring at her like she was the boogie man.
“You’re an asshole, Frrar,” she whispered angrily from the corner of her mouth, but relaxed the scowl from her face, not wanting to scare them more than she already had.
He answered her with a seemingly genuine, apologetic whine. When she glanced up at him he was staring at her. He looked contrite and regretful, but there was no give in his expression, the set of his superhero jaw telling her she wouldn’t be able to persuade him to take her to the border no matter what she said.
Shaking her head in bitter defeat, she turned away from him to search the rest of the hollow .
There were at least twenty children, ranging from pure white babies whose markings hadn’t grown in yet, to teenagers who hadn’t grown into their tails. There were just as many citris, twice the size of big house cats and stunningly snow white, spread out around the children, trilling softly to the kids to keep them calm or patting them with their little hand-like paws.
There were a dozen shevari fathers there, as well. Half were armed and standing sentinel at the large, arched openings on either side of the hollow, staring into the darkness, ready to defend their children to the death. The other six were among the kids, feeding some, comforting others, rocking babies to sleep, and trying to keep the cries, sniffles, and demands for their other fathers quiet.
Lily knew why Frrar had brought her here. It was for her safety, but also so she could protect the children in case the intruders got this far.
She wanted to argue that they wouldn’t make it this far if she was at the border helping fend off their enemies, but she knew it was pointless to try and change his mind .
Frrar turned to Tor and gripped his shoulders, his voice low and harsh as he said, “Herii Lily sehr.”
Tor returned his grip and nodded his head solemnly.
When Frrar pivoted back to her, she was glaring at him, but it was anger born of fear. He ignored her scowl and grabbed her, lifting her off her feet in a bruising hug. He tucked his face into her neck, drew in a deep breath of her, then pressed his lips against her ear.
“Mek shaar, mek Pasha, I love you,” he breathed.
Lily flung her arms around his neck and held him to her, her grip tight, desperate to keep him with her even knowing she couldn’t.
“I love you, too, you big jerk. You damn well better come back to me,” she whispered hoarsely.
“Must. Uknaa leave mek heart for long,” h
e answered, making the sob she’d been fighting break free.
With a last, hard kiss, he set her on her feet, and then he was gone.
L ily felt welcome anger wash back over her, replacing the crippling fear and sorrow of seconds before. Anger at the intruders for attacking them, anger at Frrar, Arruk, and Drrak for leaving her, and anger at herself for letting them.
She could think with anger. She could function with rage. Her breaking heart only offered paralyzing terror that the loves of her life were out there, away from her, in danger.
Before she could take more than a single step deeper into the hollow, they heard a familiar voice coming from the forest outside the tree, yelling frantically for more warriors. Lily’s anger was abruptly replaced with fear again.
It was Akksha, and she sounded panicked.
Lily hadn’t thought the coldly stoic tribe leader was capable of panic. Hearing it now made goosebumps cascade over her skin.
Something has to be horrifically wrong for Akksha to sound like that.
She saw the men standing guard go ramrod straight and heard Tor suck in a sharp breath behind her. The men looked torn between keeping their post or answering the call of their leader. Tor, when she spun around to look at him, was staring in wide-eyed fear at the opening behind them, his ears stiffly pointed and angled forward.
Fuck.
“Go,” she commanded softly, forcing the words past numb lips.
Tor whirled back to her, his eyes showing too much white and his pupils swallowing his pale blue irises, giving him an ominous cast.
He was scared for his mom, but he stayed where he was, staring at her hard, indecision making him hesitate. Lily could see the internal battle raging within Tor. He didn’t want to leave her and, at the same time, desperately wanted to go to his mother.
Stepping into him, she pulled him down for a quick kiss then wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him to her. She held him for an entirely too brief moment before she let him go and pushed him toward the opening.
“Go, help her. Be safe and come back to me.”
“Mek Lily, I love you,” he rasped, his tortured expression and guttural accent making the words even more wrenching to hear.
Tor darted forward for one more kiss before he turned and ran.
Lily stared after him, his predominantly white fur letting her follow him with her eyes until he turned, causing the trunk of the tree to block her view.
Rubbing her palm hard against her chest, directly over her heart, as if that would keep it whole when it wanted to crumble to dust, she straightened her spine and turned back to the children who needed her .
Swallowing her sobs, she impatiently swiped away the hot tears scalding her cheeks and plastered an empty smile on her face, keeping her teeth hidden so she didn’t scare them further.
It felt like roughly half an hour had passed by the time Lily was halfway through the group of children, soothing them with soft words of reassurance. They seemed to take her words as fact, probably because she was a woman even if she wasn’t shevari, and actually settled slightly. A few of the younger ones managed to fall asleep. Even the fathers present seemed to relax, if only a little, at her presence.
By focusing on them instead of the crippling anxiety looming in the back of her mind, just waiting to crush her under its weight, she was able to keep herself from falling apart, but only just.
Trrak was a huge help and surprisingly popular, distracting the older children by allowing them to pet him and by being his usual goofy self, breaking through some of the tension where she failed. The parents remained leery of the big cub, but kids had a way of seeing the truth, unclouded by misconceptions and fear. In this case, that meant they saw Trrak as the loving puppy-cat he was, instead of the vicious predator they expected him to be.
Lily was approaching the last of the kids, two of them grouped around a single male settled slightly apart from everyone else. She was steps away when they raised their heads to look at her and recognition hit. Lily managed to keep her gasp quiet and, hopefully, unnoticed but her steps faltered.
It was Skaa’s children and the mate that had paused in his work occasionally to stare at the opening with them when everyone had been carving weapons and tools after Lily had addressed the tribe. While the sight of them caught her off guard, it shouldn’t have.
Of course they’re here. Where the hell else would they be?
Resuming her approach, Lily smiled softly and slowly lowered herself to her knees in front of them.
“Me ha Lily. Shh? ” she asked quietly, introducing herself before asking their names .
The older one, a boy who looked to be about eight, raised solemn blue eyes to her. His expression was more somber than any eight year old’s should be. That made her already aching heart squeeze.
“Me ha Atur,” he answered just as quietly.
He had the sweet voice all children seemed to have, but it was flat, like all the joy had been sucked out of him.
“Sata ha Sahas,” he said, sliding his eyes to his sister, sitting next to him in his father’s lap, telling Lily her name as well.
“Atuk,” the father added when she looked at him, supplying his name before she could ask.
Smiling sadly, she nodded her head, acknowledging them. Trrak saved her from trying to come up with something else to say by trotting up behind her. The citri curled up by Atuk’s side raised its head at the cub’s arrival, but, after Trrak did nothing more than sit beside her, it laid back down again.
They were all in mourning. Sadness poured off of them in tangible waves. Even the citri was subdued and lethargic .
Grasping for something to say, Lily asked if they needed any food or water. Atuk and his son both shook their heads no, but Sahas, the little girl, just stared at her, her deep blue eyes not moving from Lily’s face.
“Ha mek Shevak ana raasha?” Sahas asked suddenly, her soft, melodious voice a direct contrast to the demand on her little face as she asked if her mother was with the intruders.
“Oh, umm. I… I don’t—.”
Shaking her head, Lily switched to their language, her surprise at the girl’s question momentarily throwing her off balance.
“Me uknaa kavarr. Me taska,” Lily apologized, telling her she didn’t know.
Sahas’s face crumpled at her answer. She twisted away from Lily to burrow herself into her father’s chest. Other than a soft whimper, the little girl made no sound and no tears came.
For some reason that struck Lily as unbearably heartbreaking.
She knew the shevari didn’t cry, but seeing the devastated child unable to show her sorrow in such a tactile way brought home that fact more than anything else had.
Trrak whined beside her, voicing Lily’s feelings of helplessness.
Pushing herself to her feet before she broke down in front of the grieving, broken family, Lily walked a short distance away until she was standing in front of the group. Taking a bracing breath, she sank to her knees, facing them.
She had an idea that might distract them, but she was nervous. She’d never heard any of the shevari sing, but it was all she could come up with just then.
She faintly remembered her mother singing to her when storms or bad dreams woke her up, vaguely recalled the soothing sound of her voice crooning her back to sleep.
Closing her eyes, Lily drew up the lyrics she’d never forgotten, even after all these years.
She opened her mouth and sang to the scared children.
She sang to their fathers, who were just as afraid but hid their fear, as all parents did—alien or human—in order to comfort their young.
She sang of love, of yearning, and of wanting to come home.
L ily opened her eyes as she sang the last word and found almost all the children asleep. The fathers, and the older kids who were still awake, were staring at her with slack-jawed, wide-eyed wonder. Even Trrak, laying in front of her with his big head resting on his clawed, dinner-plate-sized paws, was watching h
er with rapt attention.
Lily felt her cheeks go hot. She had the immediate urge to hide. She’d wanted to distract them, Skaa’s children and mate in particular, and she’d clearly succeeded, but she wasn’t terribly comfortable now that she was forced to acknowledge that she was the center of everyone’s attention .
Clearing her throat quietly, she pushed to her feet and walked to the arched opening on her right under the pretense of checking in with the sentinels to see if they’d heard or seen anything. As she walked past, she glanced over at the missing woman’s family. What she saw stopped her in her tracks.
Atuk and his son were both asleep but the little girl, Sahas, was gone.
Spinning around, Lily scanned the rest of the group to see if the girl had moved to sit with friends or gone to get food or water. But she was nowhere to be found.
With her heart pounding and apprehension creeping up on her, she spun back around and jogged to the men standing guard.
“Did you see—damn it. Uk shh tuuk Sahas… uh, leave? Go?” she asked urgently, using gestures when she couldn’t think of the right word for leave.
The males glanced at each other, then back to her, shaking their heads no with alarm growing on their faces.
“Shit!”
Patting herself down even though she knew she hadn’t taken off any of her weapons, she made sure she had everything she needed.
“Me druur. Shh roaer au, ” she said gravely, making pointed eye contact with each man as she told them she would find Sahas and for them to protect the group.
They all stood a little straighter, fierce determination settling over them, and nodded as one.
“Trrak, find her,” she commanded the cub, pointing from her nose then into the dark forest.
Either by some miracle or from Drrak’s training, Trrak seemed to immediately understand what she wanted. He raised his snout, sniffing at the air before his head whipped around, pointing in the direction he was picking up the scent.