by Lucy Coleman
There are several men standing at the bar talking and laughing, but my eyes instantly alight on Cary. There’s something about the way he holds himself that sets him apart; it makes him stand out in a crowd. Like it or not, there is a touch of the Cary Grant about him in his general demeanor.
A warm feeling starts to fill my stomach with butterflies as I stare at his back, taking in every little detail of his well-tailored, black evening suit. Sensing my presence, he turns. Smiling at him a little nervously, I’m conscious that the men either side of him are now watching my approach with interest.
He steps forward, grabbing my left hand in an unexpected and familiar way, then stoops to kiss me on the lips. It’s merely a second or two and there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes as he draws back. The fizz between us is undeniable; it’s like a little spark of electricity and I can see he’s enjoying the moment. I realise that I’ve missed being around him – how weird is that?
‘Leesa, you look amazing. Let me introduce you to my colleagues. This is Harry Templeton, he’s my Vice President and Edward Connelly, here, is our Chief Financial Officer.’
I shake Harry’s hand, noticing that his eyes narrow as he peers back at me. I feel distinctly uncomfortable but manage to flash him an easy smile. He’s probably in his sixties with a receding hairline and very rotund middle, but no one would describe him as jolly. In fact, his resting face seems to favour a scowl. When I turn to shake Edward’s hand it’s a totally different vibe and he immediately breaks out into a welcoming smile, pumping my hand up and down.
‘Lovely to meet you, Leesa. I had been wondering what was putting a spring in Cary’s step lately and now I know it wasn’t just the award. It’s going to be quite an evening.’
Cary and I both laugh good-naturedly but Harry, I notice, doesn’t make any attempt to join in. I hook my arm around Cary’s and peer up at him with an adoring look on my face. The game is on.
‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Edward. Cary has worked so hard and it’s wonderful to see him garnering the recognition he deserves from the industry.’
Harry gives a dismissive nod in a begrudging endorsement of my praise. Edward’s eyebrows seem to expand upwards, as if he’s trying to warn me to be a little cautious and Cary, well, he’s trying not to laugh. Maybe that was going a bit far.
Squeezing Cary’s arm, I lean into him. ‘I’m under orders to get a photo, darling.’
Cary gives a polite cough, a little hint that I’m overdoing it, before attracting the barman’s attention to order me a drink. Once we both have a glass in our hands he’s quick to usher me away, saying there are a few people to whom he really must introduce me. Instead we find a quiet corner in one of the smaller rooms that lead off from the bar.
‘Awkward, wasn’t it?’ I remark as soon as we are out of earshot of anyone.
‘You can say that again. Harry’s up to something. When I walked in he was deep in conversation with Edward. It was clear Edward wasn’t happy with whatever Harry was saying and he looked almost relieved when I turned up. Edward and I have been friends for years, so I’ll get the full story later, no doubt, but it was hard not to start laughing when you made that entrance. You played the classic adoring girlfriend and it threw Harry, completely. I’ve never seen him lost for words before.’
I’m glad I went with my gut instincts. ‘As long as I know what role you want me to play, I can play it. Edward seemed like a nice man, but I took an instant dislike to Harry. He’s one to watch out for, that’s for sure.’
Cary inclines his head. ‘You’re quite astute when it comes to weighing people up. It’s no secret Harry wants to oust me as CEO but, fortunately, Edward and a few of the other directors are still backing me. It’s a closely fought battle and one that rages on. Harry’s only concern is the profit margin, but I believe that the company has to stand by its ethos and look at things over a longer-term. Short-term gains might look good, but we have to practise what we preach. We’re serious about converting the masses to clean energy and to do that it has to be affordable.’
Cary looks at his watch.
‘Are we pressed for time?’ I query. He takes a large gulp of his drink and replaces the glass on the table, pushing it away.
‘The taxi will be here soon, so we should make a move.’
I’ve hardly touched my drink, but I want to keep a clear head anyway, so I stand up to join Cary.
‘You’re really worried, aren’t you?’
We walk side by side, out through to the hotel reception and then halt for a moment to slip into our coats.
‘Harry says we’re running out of time to hit the minimum targets the board set. With such a tight profit margin if there isn’t a sudden spike in sales he’ll call for a vote of no confidence. I’ll lose a couple of supporters because at the end of the day we have a duty to our shareholders. Naturally, they tend to measure success by the dividends we pay out. That’s business and I knew the risks when I set this project up, but I hoped I’d done enough to get the turnover we needed.’
He looks gutted and I hesitate before speaking because I feel sad for him. What can I possibly say to make him feel better, other than to put it into perspective – whether that’s helpful, or not?
‘You’ve won a prestigious award. Surely that must reassure the board and the shareholders that you’re doing something right? Whatever happens, I don’t think anyone could have done any more than you to get this project off the ground. It would be ridiculous for anyone to expect instant results.’ I can’t pretend to understand the complexities of a large company, but this is an accolade that really means something. It’s not a night when Cary should feel anything other than proud of himself.
I catch his hand and give it a meaningful squeeze.
‘I know that Cressida is very proud of you and Matthew, too.’ I stop short of adding that I feel a sense of pride on his behalf but that’s a little weird given our situation.
‘Hmm. Granddad is avoiding me but that’s no surprise. I haven’t seen him at all since the New Year’s party and his unexpected revelation.’
There’s more to it, I think, but Cary doesn’t really understand that. The shocking revelation about the affair overshadows everything in his eyes.
We walk out through the lobby doors and down the steps. I wait while Cary talks to the doorman, who then escorts us to a waiting taxi. As I settle back I decide I ought to say something because it’s so easy for wires to become crossed. That would be a shame in this case.
‘You know, it isn’t easy for Matthew, walking back into a house that’s full of memories.’
Cary scoffs. ‘Then why doesn’t he just refuse Cressida’s invitation?’
Do I tread carefully here, or speak my piece?
‘Maybe this is about your mother, Katherine. Have you ever stopped to consider that?’
I feel bad raising this tonight of all nights. But Cary is a man used to making big business decisions, often based on limited information. He’s used to tapping into his gut feelings so he relies upon that quite heavily. But what if they aren’t as reliable when it comes to taking into account one’s emotions? Or other people’s emotions, come to that?
‘He lost a daughter. The house will remind him of so many happy times, as well as the sad ones. Perhaps for him it’s more of a pilgrimage. A chance to feel close to her again and maybe that’s why Cressida invites him.’
I can see a look of confusion passing over Cary’s face as if he’d never considered that before. He says nothing for a few moments and I glance out the window, allowing him some quiet time in which to consider my words. I feel sad that he’s being pulled in so many different directions, because it’s a lot to handle.
‘He chose to leave, Leesa. My mother’s death was a devastating blow to us all. And life-changing from there on in. As kids I’m sure Laurence and I spent time fantasising about what life would have been like if she’d been around. Losing one parent and being rejected by another is tough on a chil
d. We were lucky, of course, because Grandma kept us all going, but Laurence and I internalised it in different ways.
‘I compartmentalised my emotions and set myself goals to keep me from dwelling on the sense of loss that has never gone away. Laurence talked about it a lot more, but it wasn’t until he met Sally that his life fell into place. She filled the hole in his life. I guess that out of the two of us I was harder work. Grandma kept trying to drag me back in touch with my feelings, but I didn’t see that as productive. That’s why she took it so hard when Paige left me. Paige was her glimmer of hope for getting me back on track.’
‘That’s so sad, Cary. I can’t even begin to imagine how Cressida found that strength to rise to such an enormous challenge, when inside her heart must have been breaking the whole time,’ I admit.
‘When Granddad left five years ago, after we’d survived so much together, it seemed a bit pointless. He wasn’t going off to a better life, he just locked himself away from everything and everyone. Grandma didn’t deserve to go through yet another upheaval. She’d struggled to gain a semblance of normality for the family – well, normal for us, and remarkable, given what we now know. How on earth she managed to forgive him for what must have been a bitter blow to her at the time, I don’t know. But she did and when he walked away like that, without any real warning, she must have felt betrayed for a second time.’
I’m astounded to hear Cary’s slant on this.
For Matthew, having suffered so much loss in his life – his beloved daughter, the respect of his wife – the toll it has taken is becoming increasingly clear. I know a little about that myself. How the pain never, ever leaves you, but it eats away deep inside of you. Insidious and making you feel a lesser person because of it. But Cary should stop to consider quite carefully what he does next, because this is a fragile situation he’s dealing with. ‘Have you never stopped to consider that maybe he was exiling himself because he felt that’s what he deserved? Now that you know about what happened between him and Robert’s wife, he’s distancing himself once again. This time it’s from you, probably because he thinks he’s lost any respect you had for him. In his eyes, the mistake he made invalidates his part in your upbringing. I bet Matthew thinks he failed you, as he failed Cressida. But he loved and nurtured you like a father; never forget that because he made a lot of sacrifices on your behalf. You’re going to have to reach out to him, Cary, and find a way to forgive him.’
Even in the gloom of the taxi his look is dismissive. ‘Why should I?’
‘Because he’s your granddad, he loves you and people have affairs. It happens. He regretted it and he’s punished himself over and over, by the sound of it. We all make mistakes in life and can only hope that the people we love will forgive us when we mess up. The difference between him and your biological father is that Matthew never stopped loving you. Don’t turn your back on him now, Cary. Reach out and talk to him. Then take it from there.’
Whether my words hit home, I don’t know. Maybe he remembers Matthew admitting that he has always loved Cressida and that at least counts for something, I have no idea, but he nods and shrugs. Oh, how I long to throw my arms around him as there is a still a vestige of that sad little boy within him, who has never come to terms with what life snatched away from him.
I return my gaze to the buildings towering above us as the traffic begins to slow.
‘I thought this was a role you were playing?’ Cary’s voice is a mere whisper as he leans in to me. His breath is warm on the side of my cheek.
My heart stops for a second, until I whip my head back around to look at him. I can see that he’s back in playful mode once more and I realise that’s the only way he can deal with this. I’ll give him his due – he’s always prepared to listen, but he never reacts instantly. He likes to digest information and no doubt weigh up the pros and cons. That’s the sign of a real businessman but when it comes to one’s personal life it’s rarely that straightforward.
‘I’m getting into character, that’s what an actress does.’
He frowns, rolling his eyes and I can see he isn’t angry with me. The point I’ve made is valid. Sometimes with Cary it’s almost as if he’s playing devil’s advocate, too, until he’s convinced himself what he’s hearing makes sense. And now he seems quite happy to mull over my words before he makes his decision. I can only hope he doesn’t take too long because I’d hate to see a growing wedge pushing these two very stubborn men even further apart.
*
I knew this was going to be quite a prestigious affair, but I wasn’t expecting the packed crowd as we filter inside the museum. Once our names are ticked off the official attendees’ list we are given name badges and almost before they’re pinned on, one of the assembled waiters steps forward proffering a tray of champagne flutes. Grabbing a glass in each hand, Cary indicates for me to follow him through the tightly packed throng to find somewhere a little more comfortable to stand and enjoy our drink.
As we begin to move forward, a number of people call out to him, but he doesn’t stop; he simply raises the glasses he’s carrying above his head, by way of acknowledgement. I follow in his wake, very grateful as he steers us forward.
The crowd is much thinner the further in we go; small groups are forming as a steady stream of newcomers filter into the large, open space. The volume of noise is rather annoying. Even though we are standing back against a wall, well out of the way so we can survey the scene, it’s oppressive. The hollowness of the space seems to magnify a cacophony of sounds that don’t blend together at all. It lends an air of chaos to the scene.
‘Acoustics aren’t that great, are they?’ I comment.
Cary leans in, turning his head to look at me.
‘We’re only in here for the initial pre-drinks affair. Not a fan of crowds?’
I grimace. ‘Not really.’
Raising my glass, Cary lifts his to chink.
‘Well, congratulations, Cary. And if you need to circulate, please don’t hesitate on my behalf. I’ll just tag along wearing a polite smile, like the adoring girlfriend I am.’
He peers at me over the top of his glass as he takes a sip, his eyes smiling and his mouth twitching. Cary exudes a magnetic charm when he’s relaxed and allows himself to let down his guard. There’s a tantalisingly flirtatious edge to his demeanour tonight and I will admit I’m not complaining.
‘I will need to acknowledge a few people but, to be honest, having you here with me is a great excuse. I’ll keep it short and sweet, I promise. The canapés are always amazing, but I thought we’d slide out as soon as the presentations are over and grab dinner? What do you think?’
‘Perfect, if you’re sure you won’t be missed.’
‘I don’t care if I am. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but while this benefits the company in many ways, I doubt it will have much of an impact on the battle I’m caught up in at the moment.’
Cary sounds distracted and decidedly weary, but quickly replaces his increasingly sober look with a good-natured smile. ‘Right, let’s get the socialising out of the way. I’ll introduce you to a few people who will be curious about the new woman in my life. I appreciate that it’s a tad awkward, so we won’t hang around, just keep on the move. The ceremony begins in thirty-five minutes so hopefully we’ll be out of here by nine o’clock, at the latest.’
With that we deposit our half-empty glasses on a passing waiter’s tray and Cary takes my hand in his. As our eyes meet I get a brief glimpse of the turmoil behind that impenetrable façade. He’s steeling himself and with my free hand I touch his arm.
‘Try to enjoy this, Cary. It’s in recognition of your achievements, remember, so ignore the other stuff if only for tonight.’
Clearly, my words touch a nerve and he leans into me, placing a modest kiss on my right cheek as he squeezes my hand.
‘You’re quite something, Leesa Oliver. I couldn’t have picked anyone better to accompany me, if I’d tried.’ The look he bestows upon me makes m
y heart skip a beat. It’s kind of nice to feel needed.
Twenty minutes later and I’m in the process of being introduced to the fourth group of Cary’s associates, as we circulate among the sprawling mass of people. It’s mostly hand-shaking and a few pleasantries followed by quite genuine expressions of delight about the award. Unexpectedly, a young woman suddenly appears at Cary’s side.
‘Sincere apologies for interrupting, Cary. We’re about to take a few press photos before we start.’
Cary turns towards me. ‘Leesa, my darling, I’m going to have to abandon you for a short while to head off with Gayle, who is the press officer. Gayle, this is my significant other, Leesa Oliver, who owns Dynamic Videography.’
We exchange brief smiles, although mine reflects the plug Cary just gave me so effortlessly. Gayle indicates to the guy behind her, stepping back so he can lean in to get a quick snap of Cary and me. Cary throws his arms around me, holding me close as we pose for the shot. Looking up at him, I can see he is a little uncertain about leaving me stranded with a group of total strangers. Suddenly a voice booms out above the jumble of background noise.
‘I’ll escort Leesa over to the presentation area. I assume that’s in order, Gayle?’
As Harry Templeton thrusts himself into the midst of the cluster of people circling us, a few take a step back. One or two of the others peer at him with sudden interest. It seems the animosity between the two of them is public knowledge, by the look of it.
Cary’s face is immobile, and I instantly jump in.
‘Thank you, Harry, that’s very kind of you. Don’t worry, Cary, I’ll be fine. I will see you in a little while.’
Gayle has already turned and begins to walk away. I can feel the reluctance as Cary quickly stoops to kiss my cheek. As he slowly draws back, his mouth brushes my ear and he whispers, ‘He knows how we met. Stick to the truth.’