Fooled & Enlightened: The Englishman's Scottish Wife (Love's Second Chance Book 16)
Page 17
Collin, too, inhaled a deep breath before replying. “About my father,” he mumbled then, shock and incredulity still tinging his voice.
“What about him?” Niall asked, his tone apprehensive.
“He’s…well, he’s not my father.”
“What?” Niall exclaimed. “How can that be?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did they tell ye that?” he pressed while Blair remained strangely quiet. Maggie guessed that her daughter already knew more than she let on.
A strangled growl rose from Collin’s throat. “That’s just it! They didn’t! They lied!”
“Then how do ye know?”
The boy sighed, a touch of guilt in his voice. “I listened at the door,” he finally admitted. “A man called on my aunt and uncle. They were in the drawing room when I came downstairs and overheard them talking.”
“What did they say?” Niall asked, his voice tense, his focus now directed at Collin’s heartbreak and no longer at his own.
“He…He thanked them for doing right by me when he didn’t.” Collin’s voice was trembling now. “My uncle lashed out at him. He told him to stay away. I’ve never heard him that angry.” He swallowed. “My…my aunt asked that man if he’d come for his son.”
“Do ye think that man was yer father?” Niall asked without hesitation. “What did he look like? Did ye know him?”
“I couldn’t see,” Collin replied, relief and disappointment and a whole lot of apprehension hanging on those three words.
“Do ye think he wants to take ye away?” Niall asked carefully.
Collin didn’t reply right away, and Maggie could only imagine the shock that had to be resting on the boy’s face in that moment. She could barely keep still, so strong was the urge to offer comfort to a child in need.
“He willna take ye away,” Blair said then, her voice confident and warm, and Maggie could almost see her smiling at Collin. “He feels grateful and wants only the best for ye. Like yer parents.”
“Then why did they lie?” Tears choked Collin’s voice.
“Because they wanted to protect ye,” Blair said with the very wisdom Maggie had come to expect from her young daughter. “Adults often believe that lies make things better. They’re afraid that the truth will hurt too much and dunna realise that nothing could ever hurt more than being lied to.”
A moment of silence stretched before Maggie heard Collin mumble under his breath, “My father is not my father. He’s Claire’s and Collette’s and Clifford’s father, but not mine.” His voice caught. “I don’t belong with them.”
“Of course, ye do,” Blair assured him instantly. “Yer father is yer father and always will be. He carried ye in his arms when ye were a babe. When ye learnt to walk, he caught ye when ye fell. He tucked ye in at night and soothed yer pain when ye got hurt. He did all those things, didna he?”
Maggie cracked her eyes a wee bit open and caught a rather blurry image of Collin nodding his head.
“See? He is yer father,” Blair stated, patting the boy’s hand affectionately. “Yer parents didna mean to hurt ye by not telling ye the truth. They thought they were protecting ye. ‘Twas foolish, but they meant well.”
“But…But what about…that man?” Collin asked, confusion still weighing heavily on his mind; still, the deepest crack in his heart seemed to have been patched up by Blair’s gentle reassurance. “What will happen now?”
“Aye, what will happen now?” Niall chimed in, and both boys looked expectantly at little Blair. “He canna have two fathers. He’ll have to choose…or someone’ll have to choose for him.”
Collin’s eyes widened, and Maggie caught a faint image of his small trembling frame.
“Who says ye canna have two fathers?” Blair asked, looking from one boy to the other, daring them to contradict her. “Not all families look the same. Aye, everyone starts out with a mother and a father, but then we all walk in different directions. Isna that right, Niall?”
Bowing his head, Niall inhaled a deep breath.
“What do you mean?” Collin asked Blair, then turned to Niall. “What does she mean?”
Niall heaved a deep sigh. “We dunna have a father anymore,” he whispered, and Maggie could hear the pain of that loss loud and clear. It broke her heart. “He died. He died two years ago.”
For a long moment, no one said a word. Then Collin’s small voice, quiet and heavy with regret, whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Ye see,” Blair replied gently, “most people have one father, but others have none. So, why can ye not have two?” She turned to look at Niall. “Just because ye let someone new into yer heart doesna mean someone else has to go.” She smiled. “There’s always room for more.”
Maggie gritted her teeth against the tears that shot to her eyes at her daughter’s words. Indeed, Blair had brought them here today to help Niall realise that no matter what happened, Ian would always remain his father. He was free to love whoever he wished, and it would not take away from the love he’d always have for the man who’d raised him, the man who’d loved him, the man who’d been his father and would forever remain so.
“Perhaps ye should speak to them,” Blair suggested in Collin’s direction.
“Speak to whom?”
“All of them,” she replied. “To yer parents as well as the man who came to visit yer uncle today. They’ll be able to tell ye all ye need to know. If ye want to know how all this came to be, then ye need to speak with them.”
“What…what if…?” Collin inhaled a deep breath. “What if he wants to take me away?”
“Do ye truly think that yer family would let him?” Blair asked in return. “Yer parents? Yer aunt and uncle?”
A small smile rang in Collin’s voice. “No. Never.”
“And do ye think that yer other father came for that? Ye heard them speak. Do ye think that’s what he wants?”
After a long moment, Collin shook his head.
“Perhaps he simply wants to know ye,” Blair whispered gently. “I’m certain he’s missed ye and is curious to get to know ye.”
“But why…why did this all happen?” Collin asked. “Why didn’t I know about him?”
“That, ye’ll have to ask him.”
“But what if my parents don’t want me to? After all, they never told me about him. What if they won’t let me speak to him?”
Blair sighed. “Do ye know who he is?”
Collin looked thoughtful for a long moment, no doubt trying to recall all he had overheard. Then his little face brightened. “I think I do. My uncle called him Lord Townsend.”
Maggie’s eyes almost flew open in shock as she heard Nathan’s title. Only the feel of her daughter’s little hand settling upon her shoulder kept her still…at least her body. Her mind and heart were in an uproar as she began to connect the dots.
Collin was Nathan’s son! And apparently, when Nathan had left her brother’s house earlier today, he’d gone over to the boy’s family to thank them for taking care of him all those years when…
It seemed he had never known the boy. What had happened there? Maggie wondered, realising that she and Nathan had both become parents roughly at the same time. Only Nathan had not been a father to his son. It seemed he’d never even seen him. Why? Who was Collin’s father?
From what the boy had said, she seemed to have married before he’d been born, saving her son from being deemed a bastard. And Collin had siblings, did he not? Had he not mentioned a brother and two sisters?
“Mama, wake up,” Blair whispered, gently shaking Maggie’s shoulder. “We need to be going.”
Faking a slight yawn, Maggie blinked her eyes open. “I suppose I must have dozed off,” she mumbled for the benefit of the boys. Then she glanced at her daughter, noting the nod of approval her daughter gave her.
“Mama, Collin needs to see his father,” Blair began with a sideways glance at the boy, “but he got lost and doesna know his way. Do ye know where Lord Townsend lives?” Her e
yes widened slightly as she looked into Maggie’s eyes.
Casting her daughter a conspiratorial smile, Maggie nodded. “Aye, I believe I do.” Never would she forget Nathan’s home, be it in the country or in Town, for she’d spent her youth there as much as in her own home. Still, ten years had passed since she’d last seen it.
“Can we take him there before we go home?”
“Aye, we can,” Maggie told her daughter. “I must say ye had a wonderful idea going to the park today. Whatever made ye think of it?”
Blair shrugged, a bit of a devilish smile on her little face. “Oh, it came to me in a dream.”
Maggie laughed and hugged her daughter as the two boys repacked the basket and folded the blanket. “Sometimes ye remind me of a puppet master, mo chridhe, but one with a heart of gold.” Looking into her daughter’s eyes, Maggie could not help but feel as though as long as Blair was with them all would be well.
It was the strangest feeling.
But one most welcome.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Father & Son
After speaking to Lord Ainsworth and his wife, Nathan went home. Although a part of him wished for nothing more than to return to Maggie immediately, he knew that he needed a moment to collect himself. His emotions were in an uproar. Yes, he felt better now that he’d finally admitted his regrets and past shortcomings to himself as well as to Collin’s family. His heart felt lighter now that he had apologised and meant it.
The thought of Blair still made Nathan smile, and he wondered what it would have been like to be a father. To have raised Collin as his own.
Sighing, he leaned back in his desk chair, his gaze sweeping over his study before it came to rest on the closed door. What would it have been like if Collin had grown up in this house? If he still lived here? If at any moment he could walk in, asking Nathan to play ball or go for a ride?
It would have been a life worth living, Nathan realised, and a deep sense of regret washed over him for now in this very moment he finally understood what he’d so foolishly given up.
Still, Kara−Mrs. Brewer!−would never have been the right woman for him, and he would never have been the right man for her. They would probably have been miserable had they married, Collin the only light in their lives.
Nathan’s thoughts ran rampant. Yes, he’d made mistakes, while other decisions had been right. Still, all that he wanted didn’t seem to fit into one life.
He wanted Collin, but not Kara as his wife. He wanted her to be happy with her husband and family. He wanted to know Collin, but not take away the life he loved. He wanted Maggie as he’d always wanted her, but he couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her children. While Blair had all but given them her blessing, Nathan remembered well the anger and pain he’d heard in Niall’s voice. The boy had felt betrayed at the thought of his beloved father replaced by a stranger.
Nathan could not fault him for it. Should Collin ever learn the truth−and he could only hope that he wouldn’t!−then he too would no doubt feel a sense of betrayal. Nathan didn’t want that for him. He wanted him happy. Nothing was more important and, if that meant keeping his distance, then Nathan would do so.
As would Maggie, wouldn’t she?
The thought twisted his insides painfully for it stood there in-between them and the future he had foolishly allowed himself to envision. He wanted Maggie as his wife, and he knew−or at least hoped−that she wanted him as well.
But her son didn’t.
And Maggie was not her mother. She would never put her own needs before those of her children. She would never cause them unhappiness if it were within her power to prevent it. “She will not marry me,” Nathan whispered into the empty room, then closed his eyes and rested his face in his hands. “She can’t.”
Only a few hours earlier, he’d been determined to ask for her hand. To not waste any more time. To seize the future with both hands.
Now, that seemed all but impossible.
No longer were they young with only their own future to worry about. Now, the happiness of others depended on their decisions, on their sacrifices, and Nathan wondered why Fate had led them together again if there was no chance for them to be happy together.
Why had he lost Maggie then? Why would he lose her now?
The thought was crippling for there was no reason. None that would give comfort. None that would explain why life led them down these paths. Why they crossed, but never seemed to run side by side.
Nathan’s doom-like thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on his door. A moment later, his butler entered announcing, “My lord, there are visitors here to see you.”
“Visitors?”
Wendell cleared his throat; still, the ghost of a smile tickled his lips as though something had unexpectedly brightened his day. “Indeed, a Mrs. MacDrummond and three young children.”
At the sound of her name, Nathan surged to his feet. No wonder his stoic butler seemed overjoyed−if one could call it that. No doubt Wendell remembered Maggie; after all, who could forget that flaming hair of hers paired with a slight sprinkling of freckles upon her nose. She’d often seemed like a little pixie to him.
Magical, somehow.
All but outrunning Wendell, Nathan rushed toward the drawing room, unable to contain his joy that she would seek him out. She and her children, it seemed for Wendell had said that−
Nathan stopped in his tracks halfway across the foyer.
Three children? Did Maggie have yet another child?
Hushed voices drifted through the closed door up ahead, and Nathan silently moved closer. He felt oddly reminded of his childhood days when he, Maggie and Robert had sneaked into the kitchen to steal biscuits from right under Cook’s nose.
Inhaling a deep breath, Nathan pushed aside that odd lump of tingling nerves that had settled in his stomach and in one quick move stepped into the room. All eyes turned to him.
And there were, in fact, four pairs.
Of course, his own gaze was first drawn to Maggie, noting the tense lines upon her face, the way she once more held her hands wrapped around one another. Was something wrong? What had happened?
Instantly, Nathan felt his blood run cold and he had to force his gaze away from her in order to acknowledge his other guests. He recognised Blair’s charming smile and Niall’s dark scowl; however, when his eyes came to rest upon the other boy in the room, Nathan found himself running through a myriad of emotions.
First, there was a hint of confusion…which lasted no more than a split second.
Then, an odd sense of paralysis fell over him as a suspicion clawed its way up to the surface of his mind.
After that, he felt his eyes open wide and his jaw drop as the little face before him received a name and a story.
Disbelief engulfed Nathan then, and he rubbed his eyes, certain they were deceiving him. “Collin.” The word made it past his lips on no more than a soft exhale as though his body was utterly incapable of producing anything louder.
His hands were shaking when Nathan took a step toward his son, his eyes wide, unable to move from the little bent head. Seated on the settee, Collin looked up then, his hair unkempt and his eyes fatigued as they met Nathan’s. He looked weary and exhausted and deeply saddened.
Then his gaze darted to Maggie and her children, and Nathan saw his little shoulders relax a little.
He’s afraid, Nathan realised, and the thought felt like a knife plunged in his gut.
Clearing her throat, Maggie rose from the armchair she’d occupied. “We met young Mr. Brewer in the park,” she told him, her eyes searching his, asking for answers to all the many questions he knew had been swirling in her mind ever since she’d learnt he had a son.
He frowned. She did know, didn’t she?
Her gaze moved to the boy. “Would you like us to stay?” she asked in that tone of voice that was unique to mothers, soft and kind and melodious, and yet, strong and reassuring.
Swallowing, Collin nodded.
Nathan couldn’t help but cringe at the thought that Collin had been listening to all that had been said, and his gaze instantly swivelled back to the boy. “Are…are you all right?”
Meeting his gaze rather unflinchingly, Collin shrugged.
“Ask him,” Blair nudged him gently while Niall sat slumped in another armchair, sharp daggers shooting from his eyes.
Collin drew in a deep breath. “Are you my father?”
Shocked at the boy’s boldness, Nathan almost flinched. What was he to say to that? The truth? What was the truth? Nathan’s thoughts ran rampant, trying to piece together an explanation that would answer all Collin’s questions.
And then Nathan looked into his son’s blue eyes and finally saw the small, frightened child, who felt utterly alone in this world, lied to by the people he loved the most. All Collin thought he knew had been ripped from his grasp. Everything that had been certain was no longer. The world had become an unreliable and precarious place.
And all of a sudden, Nathan knew exactly what to say. “Your father is the man who raised you and loved you and cared for you every day of your life.” He held the boy’s gaze as it slowly filled with tears. “He is your father in every way that matters.” Nathan sighed, regret filling his heart like never before. “Me? I…I’m simply the man who gave you those blue eyes.” A sad smile tugged on his lips, and he could only hope that as young as he was, Collin understood what he meant to say.
A tear spilled over and ran down Collin’s cheek. He blinked and scooted farther back on the settee, his legs rising as though he wished for nothing more but to curl into a ball and weep.
But he didn’t.
His feet returned to the floor beneath, and he wiped the tear from his face. “Do you want me to go?” Collin asked, a daring gleam coming to his eyes.