She took a deep breath, and then busied herself with adding fruit and yoghurt to a bowl.
‘Yeah. A chair,’ he said, deadpan, and her hand froze. ‘In front of a window.’
She forced herself to move. ‘That is strange.’
‘Overlooking my property.’
‘Even stranger.’ She set the bowl down in front of her and dug in.
She couldn’t admit her guilt if she couldn’t speak.
‘I thought so,’ he continued conversationally. ‘Until I realised that that was the window you pointed out to me yesterday. Where you said you saw me fall from.’
‘Was it?’
‘And then I remembered you’d known I’d been here for a week.’
She pretended to think about it. ‘I don’t remember. Sorry, pregnancy brain.’
‘Pity.’
Dylan set two plates—one with bacon, one with the eggs—on the counter with the rest of the food, and then took a third and began dishing for himself. As he settled on the stool next to her, Jess tried to think of something to say to change the topic of conversation.
Except she couldn’t think of anything. All she could think about was the fact that he knew. He knew she’d been watching him.
She rolled her eyes. Sighed. ‘Okay, yes, fine. That’s where I was watching you from.’
He lifted his eyebrows and didn’t say anything.
Damn it! Why was that so sexy?
‘I mean, I didn’t know it was you. Doesn’t that count for something?’
He cocked his head. ‘You mean towards the imaginary scoreboard that gives you points for being a pervert?’
‘I am not—’ She cut off her own protest when she saw the amusement in his eyes. ‘What would you have done if I was working outside in my bikini?’
‘Would it make you feel better if I said I’d watch?’
‘Yes.’ She sniffed. ‘Yes, it would.’
‘Then I’d have watched.’
She couldn’t resist her own amusement at the expression on his face now. ‘With chips?’
‘You watched me...with chips?’
‘Yesterday it was chips.’ She considered her next words. What the hell? ‘The day before it was popcorn. And the day before that, chocolate.’
‘Choc...’ he said before realisation dawned. ‘How many days have you been watching me?’
‘Don’t act coy now,’ she replied. ‘I told you you’d been home for at least a week, so that’s how many days I’ve been watching you.’
There was a beat of silence before his face split into a smile and laughter spilled from his lips. It made him look younger, more carefree, and Jess realised how little of either of those his expression normally held. She thought about his earlier words—about what he’d said about surviving—and for the first time Jess felt sorry for her best friend’s brother.
It had been easy to see Dylan as the unfeeling older brother who’d left his grieving mother and sister weeks after they’d buried their father. Easy because she’d only heard Anja’s side of things. Because she’d only seen the aftermath of Dylan’s departure.
But now, after the time—however short—she’d spent with Dylan, Jess finally considered the other side of the story. That clearly told her that her rash judgement was undeserved. She only had to look at Dylan’s face when he wasn’t laughing to realise it.
‘I’m glad you find it so funny,’ she managed, though her thoughts made it sound more serious than she’d intended.
‘You don’t?’ he asked, immediately sobering.
‘No, no, I do.’ She forced a smile, but could tell he wasn’t buying it. ‘I’m sorry, I just... I just remembered I spoke with Anja this morning.’
It was the first thing she could think of to say. And when the words changed the air between them, taking away the ease of the minutes before, Jess instantly regretted it.
‘What did she say?’ he asked quietly.
‘That we should do whatever we needed to sort things out.’
‘About me, I meant.’
She’d known he had meant that, but had hoped he wouldn’t ask. She cleared her throat. ‘She has a few things to tie up in Sydney and then she’ll be back.’
‘When?’
‘End of next week, she said.’
He nodded, and a long silence followed his words. She wished she hadn’t said anything. Wished she hadn’t let her stupid thoughts and emotions interrupt what had been an enjoyable breakfast. She couldn’t figure out what to say to make him feel better. Or why she so desperately wanted to.
‘You said she wanted to set up another yoga studio there?’ She nodded, and more time passed before he said, ‘I’ll see her when she gets back then.’
‘Will you?’ Jess asked softly.
He gave her a small smile. ‘You’re asking because I’ve been a coward for the past week?’
‘I wouldn’t say coward—’
‘Except I was. I didn’t want to face her. Still don’t, if I’m honest.’ He stared off into the distance, and then his eyes moved to meet hers. ‘But I’m going to. I have to. It’s why I left the UK. Why I’m taking a break from working after doing nothing but work for the last two years.’
‘You’re a pretty decent guy, Dylan,’ she said after a moment.
His lips curved. ‘You didn’t think that I was?’
‘I didn’t know you.’
‘And you do now?’
‘I...’ He was right. She didn’t know him. So how had her opinion changed now after only a few hours with him? ‘Well, you helped me this morning. And made me breakfast. You really didn’t have to.’
‘And you no longer believe I only did it because I wanted you to tell Anja that I had?’
Her mouth opened, and then she shut it again. She’d forgotten about that. Damn it.
‘Why do I feel like you might have changed your mind about me now?’ he asked, and she looked up into his gaze.
‘I haven’t,’ Jess said, though a voice in her head told her that it wasn’t entirely true. ‘I knew that, remember? And I respect that you want your relationship with your sister back.’ Tired now, she slid off the chair as elegantly as she could. ‘Do you mind if I rest in your guest room? It won’t be for long, and then I’ll start arranging where I’ll stay while the whole thing next door is going on.’
‘Of course you can.’
He stood with her—awkwardly, she thought, even though that word didn’t really fit with a man who looked like Dylan.
‘I’ll see you in a bit,’ she said, and then walked back to the room and felt her body sag with relief when she lay on the bed. It had been a tiring morning. Being pregnant had made it worse, but she suspected she would have felt that way even if she hadn’t been pregnant.
But the fact that her thoughts and emotions were all over the place she would blame on her pregnancy. It was the only logical explanation for the disappointment that still lingered. It was the only way she could explain why Dylan made her feel the way he did. And why meeting him had made her think so much of her own family.
She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him she respected that he wanted a relationship with Anja again. But she couldn’t quite understand it. Not when she didn’t have anything to compare it to. She felt absolutely no desire to repair her relationship with her parents. She didn’t think they deserved her in their lives, and she sure as hell didn’t think she deserved them. And if their actions—or lack thereof—since she’d moved out told her anything, it was that they didn’t want to repair their relationship with her either.
Maybe that was why she’d felt so disappointed by what Dylan had told her. Because it had been a reminder of what Jess didn’t have—a family who would fight for her.
She suddenly hoped Anja would give Dylan a chance. Her friend had gone deathly silent the day before w
hen Jess had first called to tell her about Dylan’s arrival. And then she’d politely thanked Jess and put down the phone.
When Jess had called that morning, her reaction had been similar, though this time Anja had told her she would try to come home sooner and had asked Jess not to tell Dylan anything about the baby.
It was a fair request. In fact, Jess had fully intended not to say anything to Dylan about the baby. She would let Anja deal with that. After all, it was none of Jess’s business.
Except that Jess wanted to tell Dylan. It felt wrong not to. Or, more accurately, Jess told herself quickly, she wanted Anja to tell Dylan. Sooner, rather than later. Because not all families wanted to fight to stay a family. That was special. But some things—some decisions—could break a family so completely that it couldn’t be fixed, even if someone wanted to fight for it.
She didn’t think Dylan leaving was that thing, that decision. Especially since she suspected that he’d left for reasons neither she nor Anja knew. Good reasons. But keeping this child a secret from him—keeping the circumstances around the child’s conception a secret—might just be...
It exhausted her to think about it and she closed her eyes, pushing the thoughts and emotions away. She wouldn’t let Dylan’s demons keep her from sleeping.
She certainly wouldn’t let her own demons do that either.
CHAPTER SIX
DYLAN LOOKED UP from the book that he was reading when Daisy lifted her head from where it rested on his leg and lumbered off the couch. His heart did something strange in his chest when he saw it was because Jess had walked into his living room, looking just as sleepy and mussed and sexy as she had when he’d opened his door to her that morning.
It didn’t seem fair that she could do something strange to his heart when the way she looked was entirely by accident. When the waves of her hair just always seemed to be mussed, when the sleepiness was an unavoidable consequence of waking up.
As for the sexiness... Well, he didn’t think she intended to make him think of her that way. Nor did he think she intended to make him picture how she’d look waking up in his bed. How imagining it made his body tighten with a need he didn’t understand. With a need he didn’t want.
‘Sleep well?’ he asked gruffly.
‘Yeah, thanks. Sorry that it was so long.’
‘It wasn’t.’
‘The insurance?’
‘The plumbers have come and gone. The ceiling people called to say they’d only be able to make it out tomorrow. You left your phone on the kitchen counter,’ he said at her confused look.
She nodded but didn’t reply, and the only sound between them was Daisy’s attempts to get Jess to rub her belly. He watched as Jess lowered to her haunches and then slowly sat down on the carpet over the wooden floor. With one hand on her own stomach, she gave Daisy what she wanted and the simple image again did strange things to Dylan’s heart.
It made absolutely no sense.
How did a woman he barely knew have such a powerful effect on him? A woman who was clearly off-limits? Who was pregnant? Who was his sister’s friend?
And yet Jess affected him. She tempted him. More than just physically, too. The picture in front of him made him want. And what it made him want was even more baffling because he’d never, ever thought about it before.
Family.
Seeing Jess pregnant made him think about having a family. About having his own wife, his own child on the way. It wasn’t something he’d ever wanted. His family situation had taught him that some people weren’t meant to have children. They weren’t meant to be parents.
He wasn’t his mother. He wouldn’t knowingly bring a child into the world knowing the brokenness of the situation they’d be born into. And he was broken. Not as much as his father—his mother, maybe—but he certainly wasn’t whole enough to become a father himself.
Which was why considering it made absolutely no sense.
He set his book aside, told himself it was being in the house, being with Jess that was driving him to insanity. ‘I’m going for a walk,’ he told her, and moved towards the front door.
‘Can I come with you?’ she asked from behind him and he turned, frowning.
‘Why?’
‘It’s going to rain soon.’ She pointedly looked out of the glass doors where the sky was dark, warning of what was about to come. ‘I won’t have a chance to do it in a while and I feel—’ Her eyes went soft, almost apologetic.
‘You feel what?’
‘Suffocated.’
He lifted his brows. ‘By me? Because then you probably shouldn’t take a walk with me.’
‘It’s not you.’
It was the only answer she offered and he sighed. Nodded. She lifted her arms in response and, after a brief moment of hesitation, he strode forward and helped her up. He resented the heat that went through his body at her proximity and stepped away from her as soon as he knew she was steady.
And then he whistled to Daisy and the three of them made their way to one of the most important places of his childhood.
Once, there had been one large house on the property where he and Anja lived. They’d grown up there, and when they’d got older and their mother had moved to be closer to her family, Anja and Dylan had stayed.
‘You’re lucky,’ Jess said from beside him as they walked the pathway to the large forest that stood just behind his property. ‘I would have killed to have this in my backyard.’
‘I am lucky,’ he agreed. ‘It’s because of Anja.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘We lived here as kids, and she—’
‘Wait, what?’ He looked over to see confusion on her face. ‘You lived here as kids? In...your house?’
‘Our houses weren’t always on adjacent properties. There used to be one large property, with one large house on it, where we grew up. But we tore the house down when my mother moved to Langebaan and built two separate houses instead.’
She nodded, but didn’t respond as they made their way through the forest path he’d taken so many times as a child. The trees were tall and full, the kind that had always made him feel as if he was in a movie of some sort. Daisy immediately sprinted out of sight—as she always did—and she’d find him again as soon as he’d call to her on their way back.
‘Why did you say you had this because of Anja?’
‘Because she...she wanted me to have it.’ His heart ached at the reminder of how generous she’d been. ‘When we split the property, she was adamant that I have the pathway. That I have easy access to this place.’ His feet faltered just as he passed the tree where his sister had once carved her initials. It was almost as if his feet knew he was talking about her. He forced them forward.
‘It was special to you,’ Jess said in that understanding way she had. ‘To both of you.’
He cleared his throat. ‘Yeah. We came here a lot as children. Well, until Anja stopped coming with me because I used to scare her so often.’ His lips curled at the memory. ‘She told me the place reminded her of a horror movie she’d watched, so how could I resist?’
Jess smiled. ‘Naturally.’
‘Anyway, after she stopped coming... I used to use this place to think. To...escape.’
‘Escape?’
‘From the responsibility of looking after my family.’ His throat burned with emotion. ‘Sounds terrible, doesn’t it?’
‘How old were you?’
‘Fourteen.’
‘Then no,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t sound terrible for a fourteen-year-old not to want the responsibility of a family.’ She paused. ‘Your father left when you were fourteen?’
Of course she knew they’d been abandoned, he thought. She was his sister’s best friend. A fact he conveniently seemed to forget.
‘Yes.’ He paused. ‘What did she tell you about it?’
‘Not much.’ They stopped exactly where he’d stopped all those years ago—at the hilltop overlooking the busy hub of central Cape Town. Where he would dream about a life where his parents weren’t such complete disasters. And he hadn’t even known then what he knew now about his mother. ‘Just that he had an...addiction and he left because of it.’
He nodded and let her words sit between them while he thought about what to say.
‘It’s beautiful,’ Jess breathed after a moment, and he felt her pleasure soothe some of the hurt that always accompanied thoughts of his past. He could almost forget then that she’d been a part of the reason he’d wanted to come to this place initially. To get away from...her and everything she made him feel. But now he thought it was...nice that she was there with him.
What was happening to him?
‘It is, isn’t it?’ he said instead of pondering the disturbing thoughts that had popped into his head. But they were only replaced by more disturbing thoughts—by what they’d been talking about earlier—and he heard himself speak before his mind had fully caught up with the words he was saying.
‘I always thought it was strange that Anja wanted to live here.’
‘You didn’t?’
‘No. The house...didn’t exactly have the best memories for us. But the place did. This place did,’ he added, gesturing around them. ‘So we told ourselves that we’d save that and tear down the rest. Build something new.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘It was round about the same time Anja met Chet, and she was convinced pretty early on that they were going to be married. So, instead of building another big house, we settled for two.’ He paused. ‘Didn’t you ever wonder why they look so similar? We had the same architect.’
‘Actually, I hadn’t noticed.’
He noted the tone of her voice. ‘Anja didn’t tell you about any of this?’
She shook her head, the expression on her face reflecting the tone. ‘She’s pretty tight-lipped about some things.’
Tempted by the Billionaire Next Door Page 5