Far From Destined: A Promise Me Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “You’re a good person, Macon.”

  “I’m a vet,” I said simply.

  She met my gaze before swallowing hard. “I’m glad you have food. I was going a bit crazy trying to think of what I was allowed to feed her.”

  “I’m glad I have it with me.” I began the checkup as Dakota left, but then Joshua leaned into my side.

  “You have a bruise on your face. And some on your hands. Are you okay?” Joshua asked, his voice low.

  I knew that Joshua had been afraid when my brother was hurt, as well as Paris and Prior. There had been no shielding him from some of the attacks that had happened in the past. I didn’t know what Joshua knew about his father, if anything. So I wasn’t going to broach that subject, but I could at least be gentle with my honesty tonight regarding my issues.

  “I was boxing,” I said honestly. “It’s a sport that some adults do. I just forgot to put ice on my cheek like I should have. But it’s okay. I’ll heal.”

  “I got you ice,” Dakota chimed in, her voice tight. “As well as the blankets and water. And a couple of towels.”

  “I’ll help, Mom,” Joshua said, the excitement in his voice coming back.

  “Let me finish the exams, and then we’ll make some plans,” I told him softly, and Joshua nodded. When Dakota didn’t correct my use of we, I tried not to think about it as a win. She was just protecting her son. I wasn’t part of this family. Even if part of me desperately wanted to be.

  I finished the exam, made sure the babies were eating, and then hand-fed the mama cat. She was clearly tired but looked to be in better spirits.

  “This should be good for the evening. I’ll take them into the office tomorrow, and Jeremy and I can figure out what to do.”

  “You’re going to take them away?” Joshua asked, his lower lip quivering.

  I met Dakota’s gaze, knowing she needed to handle this.

  Dakota knelt closer to her son. “They aren’t ours, baby. But we can make sure they’re safe for now.”

  “But what happens when they’re all better? Are they going to a shelter? One of the ones that kills them?”

  I closed my eyes and held back a groan as Dakota gave me a pleading look.

  “They aren’t going to a shelter,” she said. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but Macon will help us. You know that we can’t take care of five cats. And these are babies. They’re going to need lots of attention. But we’ll do our best to help.”

  I cleared my throat. “Your mom’s right. They’re going to need a lot of love and nurturing.”

  “I can love.”

  “I know you can.” I ignored how my heart ached at that.

  “Are they feral?” Dakota asked, and Joshua’s gaze traveled between us.

  I shook my head. “No, the mama cat’s domesticated. I’ll have to check for a chip tomorrow.” I looked at Joshua. “If she’s chipped, that means she most likely has a home somewhere, and we’re going to want to reunite her with her family. She might’ve gotten lost and scared. But you helped find her and are taking care of her now. That counts for something.”

  “I don’t want her to be sad.” Joshua reached out and ran his hand over one of the babies. The momma cat looked at the little boy with such love and trust that I knew this was going to hurt when we split them up.

  “Neither do I,” I said.

  Dakota leaned closer. “Should we bring her inside then since she’s domesticated?”

  I nodded, noticing that the weather was a bit chilly. “That would be best.”

  “They can go in my laundry room. I have a little sectioned-off area so the kittens can’t get into anything but are still warm and not lost in my couch or something.”

  I snorted at that. “Okay, we can do that.”

  It took a little maneuvering, and we were cautious about moving everybody with Joshua helping to hold the kittens. The kid looked like he was in love, and honestly, so did Dakota. Even if she appeared scared as hell about what would happen when she had to say goodbye to these cats. Because I had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to keep all five.

  “Thank you so much,” she said after Joshua had fallen asleep on the floor next to the cats’ box.

  “You’re welcome. I’m always here if you need me.”

  “As I said before, sometimes I wish I could just call you without needing something.”

  I tucked her hair behind her ear without thinking and swallowed hard. “You’re always welcome to call me. I like the sound of your voice.”

  She didn’t back away. Instead, she let out a sigh and leaned into me. “I wish you wouldn’t fight.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to do it for much longer,” I replied honestly.

  “Good. Because I don’t like the bruises on you.”

  “I told Joshua it was from boxing. Which is the truth. But I don’t want to show up around him beat up again.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I should get him to bed.”

  “I’ll help.”

  “You help with so much, Macon. But you never take anything.”

  “That’s not what friends do,” I whispered and kissed the top of her head, not knowing that I was doing so until it was already too late.

  I helped tuck Joshua into bed and then went back to looking at the kittens.

  I sat against the wall next to them, keeping an eye on them. And then Dakota was at my side, two cups of coffee in her hand.

  “It’s decaf,” she said. “I know decaf is nearly a sin to some coffee drinkers, but sometimes you just need the taste without the boost.”

  “It makes sense.” I took the mug. “Thank you.” She sat down next to me, her warm weight solid against my side, and all I wanted to do was sink into her and never let go. But I didn’t. I watched the kittens sleep and nuzzle into the mama cat as she cleaned them before falling asleep herself.

  I heard Dakota’s steady breaths at my side as she fell asleep right along with them.

  I knew she had to be exhausted, her days starting earlier than even mine, and her nights filled with Joshua—and now this surprise.

  But I didn’t wake her. I didn’t move her. I pulled an extra blanket over both of us and let myself pretend that this could be real. That it mattered.

  And then I fell asleep too, knowing this wasn’t reality. It was only a moment in time.

  But one I wanted to last forever.

  Chapter 11

  Dakota

  * * *

  Strong arms wrapped around me as I slowly pulled myself from sleep, my brain foggy as I tried to figure out where I was. A mewling sound came from my side, and then there was a rustling and a low voice that wasn’t too much of a whisper.

  My eyes shot open, and I realized that I was on the floor of the laundry room, practically sprawled on top of Macon while Joshua knelt next to the box where the mama cat and her babies slept.

  Though from the adorable little squeaks coming from the box, the babies weren’t sleeping too well and were likely hungry.

  I scrambled off, thankful that Joshua’s back was to me. Had he seen me sleeping on Macon like that? Again? This was the second time I had woken up clinging to Macon as if he were the last piece of chocolate in the world. And we hadn’t even had sex. Yet.

  I didn’t know why I added that word. Maybe because I wanted him?

  No, I couldn’t want him. Because if I did, we’d only end up hurting each other in the end. I had too many responsibilities, too many fears to want him. And yet, I knew I did.

  I didn’t have time to worry about my feelings or needs because my son and five little furry lives needed me. All of me.

  “How’s mama cat doing?” Macon asked from behind me, and I nearly fell over, not realizing he was awake. I should have. I should have noticed that he was moving, the heat of him behind me, but I had been doing my best to ignore it. Just like I had been doing my best to ignore a lot of things when it came to Macon.

  “She’s awake, and the babies are eating,” Joshua s
aid, his voice hoarse as he rubbed his eyes. “They make really cute sounds when they’re eating.” He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled that sleepy, dreamy smile that he got when he first woke up. “Did I make those sounds when I ate?” Joshua asked, and I held back a groan. My son was so inquisitive and always asked whatever was on his mind. Even if it wasn’t the best question for a six-year-old.

  “You still make gobbling noises when you eat your oatmeal in the morning,” I told him with a straight face. I just hoped he took the bait and didn’t ask me about where babies came from or something.

  “I do like oatmeal.” Joshua started snorting like a pig, and I held back a laugh.

  Macon knelt by the box as he checked on the mama cat and then made sure all the babies were eating okay. “She has some water, but we’re going to make sure she has whatever she needs since we don’t have a lot of food and litter here. I’ll take her and the family into the office today.”

  “That sounds like a great plan,” I said, wondering exactly how I’d found myself in this position.

  “Are they going to come back?” Joshua asked.

  “We don’t know what’s going to happen,” I answered before Macon had to. Joshua looked up at me, and I did my best to keep my stern mom face on, though not my angry mom face. “Joshua, you know that these babies need someone to take care of them. And we’re not home all the time. It’s not safe for them to be here.”

  “I don’t want them to go away. I already want to name them. I want them to be mine.”

  “Buddy, you know we can’t have five cats.” I wasn’t even sure we could handle one, considering I could barely keep up with our lives.

  “You’re going to split them up? What if they miss their brothers and sisters?”

  My heart broke at his words. But thankfully, Macon spoke next, because I had no idea what to say to fix this.

  “They’ll remember them just like all other siblings do. I don’t live in the same house as Nate or any of the other Bradys. But I have them in my mind. And in my heart. Just like these kittens will.”

  “You get to see them. And eat with them. And play with them. But they won’t have that choice if you split them up.”

  “Sometimes, there are playdates for animals,” Macon said, and I couldn’t help but stare in wonder as he spoke to my son. It was as if we were a family sitting here.

  I had to squash this feeling within me, push it away. It wouldn’t be safe to rely on this. I might like it now, or at least like the idea of it, I didn’t know what exactly was happening between Macon and me. But I knew I had to be careful. And not just for me. Also for my son.

  “Okay, boys, we need to get ready for the day.” I blushed as I realized what I’d said, completely ignoring what I had just thought to myself about keeping things at a distance.

  Macon just winked at me and grinned. “We do need to get ready for the day. I have to head home, shower, and get changed.”

  I swallowed hard. “Do you have scrubs in your car? You can use the shower here. That way, you don’t have to move the cats more than once.” I hadn’t even realized I’d said the words until he met my gaze, his eyes going a little dark. Crap. I was not doing well with this distance thing.

  “I do. And as long as you’re okay with that, I don’t mind showering here.”

  Oh, good, he was going to be naked in my house. And soapy. And washing himself. And…touching himself.

  And that was enough of that train of thought. Especially when Macon was giving me a look that said he knew exactly where my thoughts had gone.

  “Can he use my Avengers soap?” Joshua asked, nearly bouncing on his butt.

  “I think he may need adult soap, unless he wants to use your Avengers soap, baby.”

  “I’m not a baby,” Joshua said again, and I held back a sigh. No, my son was not a baby anymore. But sometimes I wished I could still hold him in my hands like I could with the kittens currently cuddling into their mom’s side.

  “Let’s get ready for the day. Because you need to go to school, and I am already running late. Again.”

  Macon frowned and looked down at his watch. “I can drop him off,” he said.

  I looked up at him, taken aback. “What?” I asked, my voice a little high-pitched.

  “I can drop him off. It’s no big deal. His school is on my way to the clinic, and if I don’t have to go all the way back home, it makes more sense. If that’s okay with you.”

  I could feel Joshua’s gaze darting between us, and I couldn’t say what I wanted to. That it would be too much. Too much like a family. Instead, I knew I should be grateful that I could lean on him.

  I just didn’t need it to mean so much.

  “That would be good. Very helpful. Pop isn’t opening today because she has a dentist appointment, so I need to get in ASAP.”

  “Okay, then. Let’s make this work. You ready to go, Joshua?”

  “I still need to get out of my pajamas. And eat breakfast. I want oatmeal.” He started oinking again, and I laughed, with Macon shaking his head. It felt…normal.

  And I wasn’t used to that.

  Somehow, the three of us got ready quickly, and I swallowed hard as I gave a spare key to Macon. They were planning to leave in the next twenty minutes or so, but I had to go right away. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I felt like I was making all of the wrong choices. But I couldn’t go back now. Not that I knew where I would end up.

  “Thank you,” Macon said, meeting my gaze. “Thank you for trusting me.”

  “I’ll always trust you with his safety, Macon.” Unsaid was what I couldn’t trust him with. I couldn’t hurt him any more than I likely already would.

  He leaned closer, and I could smell my shampoo on him. Why was that so damn sexy? “Have fun at work today. Stay safe.”

  Chills broke out over my arms at the thought of Adam lurking, but Joshua would never be alone today, and I would be in a public place. Adam wouldn’t hurt us. At least I didn’t think so. I just didn’t know what my ex’s plans were when it came to Joshua or me.

  “Thank you again. Just lock up when you leave and keep my baby safe.”

  I had to go, but then Macon tucked my hair behind my ear and gazed into my eyes. “I’ll take care of him. You take care of yourself.”

  I wanted him to lean down and kiss me, brush his lips across mine, and tell me everything was going to be okay. And because I wanted that, I moved away, gave him a small smile that didn’t reach my eyes, then hugged my son tightly and left. I didn’t know why it hurt so much that I wanted how I’d felt this morning to be real—to last. And that I didn’t know what else I wanted. But I didn’t have time to worry about it or stress.

  I needed to open the café with Jason and get ready for the day. Jason was already at the shop since his day started earlier than mine, and we were both quiet as we prepared for customers and set up coffee and pastries.

  The morning rush was intense, everybody seeming on edge for some reason, and I hoped it was just the weather change and finals and the like. But I was tired, and my brain was trying to work on a thousand different important things at once. Thankfully, Pop came in right before lunch, and the three of us worked hard from that point on, keeping up with everything.

  The lunch rush came and went, and were finally able to take a break before the next swarm of orders. My feet hurt, and all I wanted to do was check on Joshua, even though I knew he was still in school and I shouldn’t.

  “I’d love a double espresso when you have time.” Myra spoke from beside me. I jumped, looking over at her. “I didn’t see you come in,” I said, a little worried that I hadn’t. What else had I missed today?

  I looked around as if Adam would jump out from some non-existent bushes or something, but he wasn’t here. And the others were on alert, as well. But we had been so busy, what if I had missed a clue or something important?

  My heart raced as I tried not to let my thoughts lead me down dangerous paths, but I couldn’t help where
they went. The school would have called me if something had happened to Joshua. I knew that. I just didn’t like that I felt as if I were missing something important or not doing everything I could.

  “What’s wrong?” Myra asked as I went around the counter, and I hugged her tight.

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’m glad that you’re here, though.”

  “I’m glad I’m here, as well. I really could use some coffee.”

  “I’m on it,” Pop said.

  I smiled over at her. “Thank you, but I’ve got it. We know somebody’s picky.”

  Myra just rolled her eyes. “Knowing what you like is not being picky. It’s smart. And I enjoy Pop’s drinks. As well as Jason’s. The three of you have made my list.”

  That made me snort. “And I take it that’s a good thing?”

  My friend smiled. “I trust you three to make me wonderful concoctions. So, yes, let’s call it a good thing. Now, want to tell me what’s got that look on your face?”

  That made me snort. “Which look, so I can figure out what you mean?”

  “I’d say it’s worry. And would figure it’s about Adam, but perhaps it’s something else? Confusion?”

  “Myra. This isn’t the best place to talk about this.”

  “Ah, must be Macon, then.”

  I narrowed my eyes, even though the sound of his name did something to me that I didn’t want to admit—even to myself. “I’m still angry at you for sending Macon over yesterday without my knowledge. I can get over the fact that Nate was there without me knowing, considering he came to keep you safe. But you called Macon over. As if he’s part of my life no matter what and has a say in what I do.”

  “First,” Myra started, holding up a finger, “Nate was there because he is protective, but not of me. Of you and your son. Nate has nothing to do with me.”

  I gave her a look but let the lie pass. “Myra, you had no right to contact Macon.”

  “I had every right,” Myra said softly. “Sometimes, you need to share the load. Even when it hurts.”