He moaned, his hips moving just a bit before he froze and let me take what I needed—which was only to give him what he needed.
I worked him carefully, never letting him exit my mouth fully so he couldn’t damage my teeth. I had never gone down on someone with a ring before, but I had the internet and friends who’d helped me figure out exactly how to do this.
I loved having this control, watching him fall into near bliss as I gifted it to him. When he jerked, I pulled back and licked my lips, knowing he was close.
“I have to think about baseball right now because I want to get inside you.”
“I want you inside me, too.”
I twisted around, handed him the condom that we’d set out, and then moved to my hands and knees. He sheathed himself and entered me quickly. We both moaned, me biting my lip so I didn’t scream, him muffling his exclamation as he leaned over me.
His hands dug into my hips, and I pushed back, needing him to go even deeper. I felt so full, nearly ready to burst, but then he moved, and I could barely think. I met him thrust for thrust, knowing I had never felt this close to anyone before in my life.
He slammed into me again, and I let out a shocked gasp, knowing it was too loud. I stifled my voice with the pillow, arching for him. He kept going, filling me.
But then he pulled out and flipped me onto my back. I let out another gasp, but he was inside me again almost instantly, his mouth on mine. He pistoned into me, one hard thrust after another, and I wrapped my legs around him, needing him.
I came on his cock, and he followed me, silencing my moan of pleasure with his mouth.
I had needed this, and I hadn’t even realized until he was inside me, holding me like I was a cherished possession.
I loved this man. I didn’t know when I had fallen, but I knew I had fallen hard.
As Macon took care of me, kissed me softly, and showed me how much he cared, I just hoped to hell that caring was enough.
I didn’t know if he would ever love me. I didn’t know if he was able to, not after everything that had happened.
I only prayed that what he felt would be enough.
And I hoped to hell that when the danger had passed, he wouldn’t leave.
And I wouldn’t be left alone.
Chapter 16
Dakota
* * *
I moaned, letting my legs fall to either side of me as I fought myself to stay in this dream. Only I knew it wasn’t a dream.
But it was the best way to wake up.
I arched, pressing myself into Macon’s face. He growled low, and I could feel him smiling against me as he ate me out.
“Best fucking breakfast ever,” Macon grumbled before he went back to licking my pussy.
I was utterly sated already, having come more than once this morning, and multiple times throughout the night. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep; neither had Macon. It had started with the nightmare, and neither of us had truly slept since. It would be a hard day at work for both of us, but it would be worth it. Because we leaned into each other, touched one another, and had the other in our lives. What more did we need?
“Ouch!” I gasped, then put my hand over my mouth as Macon lifted his teeth from my inner thigh. Joshua was going to wake up at any moment.
We had to be quiet. Oh, so quiet.
“You weren’t paying attention to me,” Macon rasped before returning to licking and sucking. He needed to shave, his day-old beard scraping my inner thighs, and I loved it. It was harsh and rough against my skin, and it was perfect.
I had never really been a fan of oral sex before. Then I met Macon.
Just the thought of his cock in my mouth made my whole body tighten, and Macon hummed again, twisting his finger just right. I came, putting a pillow over my face.
I heard his rough chuckle as he crawled over me and removed the pillow. His lips were on mine in the next heartbeat. I could taste myself, and I blushed all the way to my nipples. He leaned down, spreading his hand over my chest, cupping my breasts lazily.
My alarm went off, and I cursed under my breath.
“Time to face the morning,” Macon grumbled, kissing me again after he’d turned the alarm off.
“I am never going to regret what just happened between us. But I am probably going to regret the lack of sleep just a little.”
He laughed, letting his hand slide down to cup me intimately. I moaned, my body a little sore. But he didn’t do anything but cup me, as if he needed to touch me. Since I had my hands on him as well, I couldn’t blame him.
“I guess we should get ready for the day. But you’re right, I’m going to need lots of fucking coffee.”
I cupped his face and looked at him, hoping he didn’t see what I felt blasted all over my expression. I needed to hold onto my love for him for just a little bit longer until I figured out what I was going to do about it.
“Good thing I own a place that sells a lot of it.”
“And damn good coffee, too. You have any of those beans that I like here?”
I rolled my eyes. “You have woken up here how many days, and have had my coffee how many times? Of course, I have the beans you like. I’ve been mixing them in with mine.”
“I knew I liked you for a reason.” He kissed me again, and I fell that much more in love with him. “And I wasn’t thinking. I think I need caffeine to make thoughts work.”
“Same.”
“Mom!” Joshua said from the other side of the door. I froze, and then we were off in a flash, Macon headed to the bathroom and closed the door while I quickly pulled on my pajamas.
As I let Joshua in, I leaned down to ruffle his hair, my heart racing at almost getting caught by my six-year-old. Crap. “What is it, baby?”
He rubbed his eyes with his little fist, looking like a disgruntled pelican. “You didn’t wake me up. I didn’t even hear your alarm.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Apparently, I’m sleeping in this morning.”
“Does that mean no school?” Joshua asked, his eyes wide and bright.
I snorted. “Nope, buddy. That means we have to get busy.”
“Macon isn’t in his bed. Did he go home? Or is he sleeping with you to keep you company? And happy?”
I froze and wondered what he had heard from his friends, my friends, or even himself last night. I wasn’t going to broach that subject, though, even though Macon and I would soon have to talk with Joshua about what all of this meant. That was something that we’d have to discuss with each other first. Because while both of us had decidedly not discussed our paths or our needs and desires other than in bed, and it might have worked for a little while, it wasn’t going to work any longer. Especially not with Joshua’s knowing and curious glances.
I pushed aside those worries and focused on what I could deal with in the moment. “Okay, let’s go get you breakfast, get you ready for the day, brush your teeth, and do all the good things.”
“But what about Macon?”
“I am going to help you do that while your mom gets showered,” Macon said, walking out in a towel with his hair wet.
I hadn’t even heard the shower come on. He must’ve taken the quickest shower in the history of humankind. And I was kind of sad that he wasn’t going to smell like me anymore. However, going to work or being around any of our friends while smelling like sex probably wasn’t the best thing in the world.
Joshua looked between us, and I swallowed hard, wondering what questions were going through his head.
“Is today oatmeal day? Or toast and eggs?” Joshua asked, and I blinked a few times, wondering how my son could be so unflappable.
It was one thing to have Macon be part of our lives in subtle ways. It was another to wake up and find Macon in a towel in my room. Of course, Joshua had already seen Macon sleeping next to me twice before, even if both of those times had been innocent.
Regardless, we needed to talk to Joshua.
But first, we had to talk to each other.
&
nbsp; Yeah, because that was so easy.
Macon gave me a soft smile as if he knew exactly where my thoughts had gone, then brushed my hair from my face and followed Joshua to his room.
That made me snort and I realized I probably needed coffee. But first, a shower.
I trusted Macon to watch Joshua as I got ready, and it was so weird. I had spent the entirety of Joshua’s life being his sole provider. Yes, I had others in my life that I was learning to lean on, and I’d had the Barkers before that, but in reality, it had always been the two of us against the world.
I had thought that perhaps I would feel a sense of loss because it wasn’t only the two of us anymore. That, somehow, I wasn’t the only person in Joshua’s life that he could truly rely on.
But I didn’t. Instead, it felt like something had clicked within me, and it just made sense.
I had no idea when that had happened. I added conditioner to my hair, then quickly went about shaving my legs, frowning as I tried to piece together how I had gotten to this point.
I had spent so long pushing people away and showing them that I could do everything on my own.
That I could open a business, be a boss, be a mom, and do everything all at once. Yet I didn’t really feel like that was truly the case.
At least, not anymore. I had failed spectacularly at keeping people out of my life. I was still behind on so much with who I needed to be and who I wanted to be, and yet maybe I wasn’t.
I owned the business that I worked far too many hours on but loved. And my little boy was healthy, whole, and so smart.
He may hate school right now, but I had a feeling it had more to do with his teacher than the school or the work itself. And maybe we’d find a way to get around that. He already liked working on worksheets a bit more with Myra and Nate and Macon.
I tried not to feel a little disgruntled that he didn’t like working as much with me. But I was the sole authority figure in his life. He had to rebel.
I just didn’t want him to do it completely.
He was only six years old. Why was I going down this thought spiral?
I rinsed off. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea that everything seemed to be changing all at once. Perhaps I just needed to let it happen.
I held back a snort. That didn’t sound like me at all. I always did things the way I needed them to be done, even if it was the more painful option. The problem was, I loved him. I loved Macon Brady. And I had no idea what to do about it. Because it wasn’t just me in this relationship. It would never be.
And, somehow, I had to be okay with that.
No, scratch that.
Somehow, Macon had to be okay with that.
I had to figure out where the line would be drawn. How we would be. Only I wasn’t sure exactly how to do that.
I never expected Macon Brady.
I never expected how I would feel.
I had gone into this pact for dating because my friends had wanted it so much, and I had simply followed along. Perhaps I had hoped that I could find happiness one day, too. I had thought that maybe I had enough happiness with my son and my job and my life.
Macon was so different, though.
And the girls had set me up with him, even if it had been a façade.
Now what was I supposed to do?
Did I have the patience to follow this path? I wasn’t sure. Not with the ever-present terror and fear that was my ex hanging around. That brought me back to the shocking and cold reality of my current situation.
There hadn’t been a note yesterday. I didn’t know if that meant Adam was done with me or not. Was he lying in wait?
I was so fucking scared.
I let out a breath, then quickly did my hair and got dressed. I could hear the boys getting ready and eating breakfast and talking and having fun. The idea that I had just called them the boys in my head, like we were a family, made me pause. I forced myself to stop overthinking.
I entered the kitchen to get some coffee and nearly fell in rapture as I realized that Macon had already made some.
“Oh, thank God,” I whispered.
Macon grinned, handed me a perfectly made cup, and kissed me square on the mouth.
“Do it again! Do it again!”
I turned to Joshua, my eyes wide. “Excuse me?”
“Kiss, kiss!”
“Well, I think we have to do what he says.” Macon leaned down, and I pressed my finger to his lips.
“What have you two been up to?” I looked over at Joshua. “Why do you want me to kiss Macon?”
“Because he makes you smile. And I like him. And if he kisses you, then maybe he could stay. And then the cats can stay.”
I held back a laugh, and the light in Macon’s eyes danced. Of course, it would be about the cats.
I let my hand fall, and Macon kissed me softly, just a chaste peck before going back to the stove where he had eggs cooking and toast in the toaster oven.
“Eggs and toast?” I asked.
“We already ate ours. This is for you. I’m taking the kittens and Mama Cat back to my office today, and then we’ll see about some more permanent accommodations.”
“You mean here, right?” Joshua asked, a smile on his face.
“Joshua, darling…”
“I know. They can’t stay here because we are renting, and it’s not our house, and we’re never home. But I still want to be able to visit.”
“I’m sure we can find a way,” Macon said before I could speak up. I gave Macon a look, but he shrugged.
“We haven’t found Mama Cat’s owners, so it looks like you’re looking at them.”
I shook my head, my heart breaking and shattering in happiness.
He was just too good for me. And I had no idea why I thought that.
He wasn’t too good for me. I couldn’t let myself believe that I was less than.
And yet, it was all I could do not to lean into him and beg him to stay.
So, I wouldn’t. After all, I didn’t even know what I wanted for sure.
“Okay, well, it seems that you guys have everything worked out.”
“We do. And I’m going to drop this kiddo off at school before I head to work like usual, and you are going to go open up the shop so I can have all the coffee.”
“Jason and Pop are opening today. I’m closing.”
“Myra’s picking him up from school?” Macon asked, and I nodded, taking a bite of toast. It was like we were husband and wife, talking about our son and the day’s plans.
I still wasn’t sure how this had happened, or really what I felt about it, but I wasn’t going to bite my nose off to spite my face. Nor would I run away simply because I was scared. I was done running.
I just needed to make sure that my family was safe. And that meant keeping an eye on Joshua at all times.
I leaned down and kissed Joshua on the top of the head, and then kissed Macon on the cheek.
“I should go.”
“Hold on,” he said, then made a little sandwich, stuffed it into a baggy, and handed it to me.
“Eat. You’re going to need all the caffeine and protein you can get today.”
I blushed, thinking about exactly why I was exhausted. I nearly swooned at the memories.
Damn, this man.
I cleared my throat and ignored his knowing gaze. “Are you sure you can handle this morning?”
“I’ve got this, Dakota. You can trust me.”
I looked at him and smiled. “I know I can.”
Something crossed his gaze, and I wasn’t sure what it was. Was it pride? Or disbelief?
I didn’t know, but I knew I had said the right thing.
I said goodbye to my boys, and the cats, and made my way to work.
* * *
By the time I made it through traffic to the Boulder Bean, the place was packed.
“Early morning rush started a bit early,” Pop said as she rushed to the back.
I nodded in hello without saying a word, w
ashed my hands, put on my apron, and got to work. I missed opening, but without my babysitters, the others had stepped in, and I had to learn to give in. Jason operated the front, and I worked on orders. We all traded responsibilities often, but I was the fastest at filling orders, Jason was the quickest at taking them, and Pop the best at making sure we had everything we needed. We would likely switch out once the rush was over, with me going back to bake, and Pop and Jason trading places. But for now, this worked.
I barely had time to think of Macon and our relationship, of Joshua’s day at school, or the pact with my friends.
The only thing that even hinted at crossing my mind and invading my bubble of bliss was Adam.
But he had always been able to do that. And I hated that he could.
However, I planned to do my best not to let him ruin everything in my life. He had given me the best part of it—Joshua—and I had to remember that.
“Dakota, the school’s on the line for you.”
I looked over at Pop and frowned, even as a sense of foreboding slid down my body. Chills wracked me, and I swallowed hard, trying to piece together what she was saying.
“The school?”
Pop took the mug and order from me and nodded. “It sounded urgent. Maybe he has a tummy bug?”
I swallowed hard, wiping my hands on my apron as I went to pick up the call on the office phone. I looked in my pocket and realized I had missed three calls on my cell. I nearly threw up.
“Hello? This is Dakota Bristol.”
“Mrs. Bristol, I need you to sit down,” the woman said, and I nearly passed out. I recognized her voice. Was she the counselor? Or maybe the principal. I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t think.
“What-what’s going on? Is Joshua okay?”
“Mrs. Bristol…”
“It’s Ms.” I cursed. “That’s not important. What’s wrong with my son? Where is he?”
A pause. “We’re unsure, ma’am.”
The floor fell out from under my feet, and a scream echoed in my ears.
Far From Destined: A Promise Me Novel Page 15