by Marlie May
“A couple tours.”
“Mostly desert deployments in tight areas, though, right?” She sighed. “I’ve never been to that part of the world. War zones aren’t safe to travel through.”
Her photos mostly featured faces. Some hardened by life, staring into the distance. A child in wonder. Old men hauling stick-filled packs up craggy hillsides.
“What’s it like over there?” she asked.
“Beautiful. Shaggy mounds you can’t see over. Dangerous during a sand storm.”
“There’s beauty in storms, too.” She squeezed my hand. When had she linked our fingers together? “What else?”
“It’s isolated. Lonely.” My laugh came out like a croak. “I’m a mood killer, aren’t I?”
“I don’t mind. I want to hear.” Her eyes gleamed, black pearls in the shell of her face. Lake water spiked her lashes, making them super long. I wanted to touch them, find out if they were as soft as they appeared. I wanted to touch all of her, if only she’d let me.
“There’s no one in your life?” Her gaze flitted away from mine. “No one special?”
Reading more into this than casual conversation would be wrong. I’d encroached on the line I’d drawn in the sand today already. Crossing it would betray everything, including my honor. As grueling as this was, I needed to remember that.
“Not for over a year,” I said. “I was engaged to Annie, but it ended.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sometimes, things aren’t meant to be.” Even I could hear the sorrow in my voice, but I was mostly sad I’d let myself get that far into the relationship. Annie had called it off, but she’d made the right move. When it came time to take that final step at the altar, I would’ve frozen. There was no way I could’ve stood in front of our friends and told her I’d cherish her forever.
Because a tiny part of me was already taken.
Annie got married six months ago. She and her husband had a kid on the way. I couldn’t be happier for her.
“How about you?” I wanted to sound her out about Eli’s comment. Was Ginny still living with that guy? “You with anyone special?”
“Not any longer.”
I borrowed her words. “I’m sorry.”
Her teeth grazed her lower lip. “Me, too.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Zen’s gone, and really, that’s the end of it.”
“In some ways, but not in others?”
“Maybe.” She frowned as if she sought inward. “No. He is gone. I hadn’t realized until now.”
“You loved him?”
“That’s just it.” Her eyes fell into mine. “I didn’t. Not the way I wanted to.” She said nothing for a long while, just stared at me with heavy-lidded eyes. They dropped to my lips.
A hush descended, as if the kids playing at the other dock, the night birds swooping along the water, and even the wind itself stilled.
She shifted forward and placed her mouth on mine. Lightly enough I could pull away and say, hell no. Firmly enough to show me her need. It wrapped around me. Dragged me down until nothing existed except her. Us. Touching.
Unable to resist and cursing my soul for eternity, I opened my mouth and let her inside. She tasted of marshmallows, with hints of the teenager I’d been crazy about back in high school. Followed by the heady flavor of all woman. The one she’d become.
Deepening our kiss, I sifted my fingers through her hair and pulled her closer. I slid my hand along her waist, urging her up onto my body. I’d kill to feel her pressed against me. Her wet shape glided across mine, and she moaned.
An IED exploding nearby couldn’t pull me away from Ginny now.
With my tongue, I parted her lips. While I might be damned by my actions, I reveled in it. I couldn’t resist touching every inch of her while I tasted. Easing her onto her back, I rose over her. With a reckless need driving me, I slid my hands up the slick skin of her waist to the underside of her breast. Teased the soft cup while stroking my thumb across her hidden nipple.
Whimpers rose from her throat, and her fingertips trailed down my back. I left her mouth, kissing my way along the sleek column of her neck, nibbling her shoulder. Licking. Sucking.
Her head tipped back in surrender. “Cooper.” My name flew across the water.
Heat centered in my groin. The need to give her pleasure overwhelmed me. I shifted the nylon of her top and fondled underneath. Her nipple hardened to a pebble. I’d willingly drown for the chance to take that nub into my mouth and stroke my tongue across it.
A car horn blaring in the parking lot drove me back to my senses. It also reminded me that I’d promised this woman’s brother I wouldn’t make a play for her heart.
Even if it was already too late for my own.
With a growl that betrayed how much I wanted to be with her, I lifted my head. The vulnerability spilling across her face wrenched the insides right out of me. I loosened my arms and dropped onto my back beside her.
11
Ginny
I wanted Cooper badly. I’d scream if we didn’t come together.
As a teenager, I’d crushed on a skinny, shy, eighteen-year-old Cooper. When had I let myself fall for the man he’d become? What I felt for him now surpassed anything I’d felt for any other guy I’d been with before.
Heady. Ecstatic. Aching.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” His words sent an icy wave across my heart.
“What do you mean?” Forcing my limbs into motion, I turned onto my side to face him.
Grief etched lines in his face. “I’m sorry,” he said again as if the first one hadn’t taken. “That shouldn’t have happened.” He rose to his feet and stood in profile, glaring toward shore.
While I might be weak from his kisses, I wasn’t taking whatever he had to say lying down. I got to my feet.
His words said one thing, but his body betrayed him, jutting his swim shorts forward.
“Is this about the woman you were engaged to?” I hated saying her name. “Annie?” If he was stuck on someone else, I wouldn’t stomp through and muddy up those waters.
He dragged his hands across his head. “I guess.” A rod didn’t come close to his stiffening spine. “Yeah, that’s it. Annie.”
What could I say to that? I wasn’t Annie, and I refused to be a convenient substitute. This must be why Eli had warned me away.
“It won’t happen again.” Without waiting for my reply, he dove cleanly into the lake. His head cut the surface yards out from the float, and he lifted his arms and made for shore.
I followed, catching up fast. The fact that I could told me that while he was fleeing, he still took my safety seriously. At least he thought that much of me. Not that it mattered, because safety wasn’t a fraction of what I wanted from him.
We reached the shore at the same time and walked out of the lake.
I snatched up my towel and wiped myself off briskly, wishing I could remove the memory of his hands on my body as easily as the moisture. With my dress clutched close, I left him standing by the shore and hurried to the changing rooms.
He followed.
After dropping down on the bench inside one of the rooms, I rubbed my mouth to eliminate any lingering trace of his kiss. The tightness in my chest couldn’t be rubbed away.
Cooper waited for me outside when I emerged. No harm in admitting I was relieved. With Tom around, I’d been dreading walking back to the campground alone.
I strode back in silence beside him, resisting the urge to say, why did you have to kiss me back? And, why did you make me care for you? He wouldn’t have answers; I’d done this to myself.
After brushing my teeth at the faucet, I sought my tent. The air mattress bit into my back, my side.
No other reason I couldn’t get to sleep.
Sunshine stabbed my eyes when I left my tent the next morning.
Cooper wasn’t around, but it was just as well. My guards weren’t high enough to deal with him yet. It was hard to say if they’d
ever lift high enough for something like that. As the newly rejected, I’d decided not to speak with him—or look at him—ever again. Childish, but there it was.
I couldn’t believe how hurt I still felt about this. Silly me for starting to fall for a man I could never have.
Since a note on the picnic table told me Eli had left for work after midnight and would be back mid-morning, I decided it was time to take on my next challenge. I changed into my swimsuit inside my tent and, with my towel looped around my neck, I left the campsite, my sandals slapping my heels. I paused when I reached the start of the path to the lake. The last time I’d come this way, I’d been at a run, terrified someone was following me.
Sunlight winked through the trees, and birds swooped through the air. Frogs cheeping inside the woods echoed around me. The everyday sounds sent calm through me. Hand tightening on my towel, I strode forward. A butterfly became my companion, fluttering beside me before landing on a flower.
On the path, I met up with a woman about my own age who walked with two small girls.
“Hi,” I said as I caught up to her.
The woman lifted her hand. “Hey, I’m Brittany, your neighbor in the pop-up camper beside yours?”
“Nice to meet you.” I slowed to walk with her. The girls kept racing near the woods shrieking, then running back to the path. “Your kids look like they’re having a great time here at the campground.”
“It’s been wonderful.” Brittany’s grin filled her face, and her blue eyes sparkled. “They wear themselves out and nap forever. Makes me think we should live here year-round.” She winced. “Well, except the camper is unbelievably small. Perfect for a couple, but a family of four? Not for more than a week. While I enjoy the afternoon breaks, I’ll be glad to pack up and head back to my three-bedroom house in a few days.”
“You live around here?”
“In Farland. You?”
“On the edge of Crescent Cove.”
“A short ride home for you, too, then.” Her eyes lowered. “This might sound weird, but are you and your friends planning to hang out at your campsite tonight?”
“We are,” I said. “I can’t wait for the fireworks.” The campground planned to set them off at nine.
“We were thinking of taking the kids to dinner then stop by my mom’s place for a little while after. Would you mind keeping an eye on our campsite?” Brittany frowned. “Yesterday, I saw a man sniffing around. He took off when I called out to him but you never know about people.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What did he look like?” I asked carefully.
Brittany shrugged. “I couldn’t tell. He wore a sweatshirt with the hood up.”
Why would anyone need heavy clothing in this heat? “Weird.”
“Right,” Brittany said. “Probably just some teenager goofing off. But I figured if you were going to be around, you might be willing to keep an eye on things.”
“I’d be glad to.” It wasn’t like I had anyplace else to go tonight. “What time do you plan to leave? And when will you be back?”
“We hope to head out five-thirty-ish,” Brittany said. “And we’ll be back no later than ten. That okay?”
I sucked in my lower lip and nodded. “Sounds fine.”
We reached the shore and dropped our things onto neighboring chairs. The youngest girl leaned against Brittany’s side, her shy smile revealing gaps from missing baby teeth. So picture perfect, I captured her image with my camera.
Brittany stroked her daughter’s tight, curly hair, before opening her bag and pulling out water wings. “If you want to go swimming with Melanie, honey, you have to wear these.” She stooped down to get her daughter ready.
I pulled off my shorts and tank and dropped them onto my chair. After ditching my flip flops, I strode down to the lake. The crystal-clear water begged to be slipped into, and I splashed through the shallows until I’d submerged all the way to my waist. With a push off the bottom, I dove beneath the surface and only came up when my lungs begged for air. Setting a brisk pace, I swam away from the shore with no goal in mind other than the most distant float.
Passing the floats, I swam further, pushing myself to test my bravery. I swam far enough out, the girls’ laughter faded. Until there was no one else around.
Energy spent and my body complaining from the activity, I floated on my back, savoring the cool water. I closed my eyes to shut out the blinding sunshine. My hair swirled around me, the strands tickling my shoulders. Tiny waves buffeted me, rocking me back and forth, back and forth like I lounged in a hammock on a lazy summer’s day.
Nothing but the low hum of a distant motorboat disturbed my peace.
Why had I resisted being alone like this? Solitude brought calm and with it, growth in my confidence. Isolated in my watery cocoon with no one around but birds and fishies, I could rebuild myself.
I drifted, letting the water lull me. Not falling asleep, but sinking into a calm much like meditation. That was me, ready to hum, ohm…
A buzz grew louder as if a swarm of bees flew near. Noises were muffled when ears were underwater, but this seemed different.
It felt wrong.
I dropped my legs and lifted my head barely in time to catch a speed boat bearing down on me.
“Whoa!” Pulse leaping, I flung myself toward the shore, half drowning as I floundered and gulped in brackish water.
The boat zipped past, leaving a wake of churning waves that swept over me in a mini tidal wave. The vehicle turned and came straight for me again, its engine emitting a high-pitched whine. The bow smacked the water as the boat went faster. Low on the horizon, I couldn’t see the driver. I couldn’t see anything but my approaching death.
I waved my arms and shouted, “Stop!”
The boat kept rushing toward me.
Whimpering, I raced for shore, putting all of myself into moving my limbs.
What was wrong with them? Couldn’t they see someone swam in the water? They needed to slow down, back off. Take the boat in another direction.
Or I’d be hurt.
Breathless, I swam with every speck of my will, aiming for the nearest float. But the boat screamed closer behind me. It picked up speed, the engine’s growl indicating the person gave it more fuel. I couldn’t let them reach me. Pressing for more power, I dragged energy from somewhere deep inside my exhausted body.
Only a few feet further…
Closer.
I wasn’t going to reach! No.
My legs screamed from my efforts. My arms trembled. With a burst, I shoved myself forward, scrambling my fingers along the float, wood splinters jabbing deep.
The boat soared past the dock and spun around to face me, spiking water high in the air behind it when it throttled in place. It growled like a ravenous beast.
Arms trembling, I hauled my shaking body up the ladder. I collapsed on the top of the float and propped myself up only to watch the boat.
The engine rumbled. The driver cranked the shifter back and drove the vehicle around to face the other direction. Blue smoke and churning water erupted from the rear, devouring a cluster of lily pads. The engine whined. With a high-pitched roar, the boat flew away, heading across the lake.
I flopped onto my back and blinked at the sky. My heart thundered in my ears. My lungs wheezed.
“Wow,” someone said from nearby. “That was something else.”
I half-opened my eyelids.
An older guy with long sideburns and a round belly stood on the float beside me, squinting to where the boat rocketed toward the opposite shore. “That driver out of his mind? He could’ve hit you.” His concerned gaze fell to me. “You okay, Miss?”
“Yeah.” I sat and shoved my sopping hair off my face. “I’m fine.” Scared, but what else was new in my life lately? Shivers took over my body as reaction set in. Goosebumps competed with muscle spasms. My limbs trembled with exhaustion from my race through the water. It was all I could do to move, let alone think.
“Anything
I can do for you?” the man asked. “Get someone for you?”
“I’m okay. Really.”
I’d only been swimming. Floating. Had my body, spread across the surface of the water, been invisible to the boater? This could’ve been a simple accident.
Or had it been intentional? I’d be stupid not to consider a connection between someone chasing me in the woods yesterday and this boater today.
It might’ve been a fluke. Some guy not paying attention. While the majority of boaters acted responsibly while on the water, others were careless. Especially during the weekend, when they were drinking, having fun. Accidents like this happened all the time. Didn’t they?
I was grateful I hadn’t become another statistic.
While the man shuffled his bare feet, I sat up and crossed my clammy arms over my legs, hugging my quaking body. I rocked back and forth.
From now on, I’d have to be extra careful. Watch out for myself all the time because, when it came down to it, no one could do the job better than me.
“If you’re going to be all right, then, I’m…” The man waved toward the shore.
Teeth chattering, I nodded, releasing him from his self-imposed caretaker duty.
With a grunt, he climbed down the ladder and eased into the water. His arms swirled around to help him maintain his position. “That asshole must’ve had too much to drink.”
This early in the morning?
The man swam away.
Once I’d regained control of my body, I returned to shore. Brittany, occupied with her daughters, seemed to have missed the entire incident. She gave me a distracted smile as she toweled one of her daughters dry.
“I’ll see you later,” Brittany called out as I left.
I waved. Still a shaking wreck, I returned to my campsite quickly and changed out of my suit.
Nothing calmed an eventful morning more than strawberry pancakes. Placing the camp stove on the end of the picnic table, I leveled it with sticks. I set my cast iron frying pan down on the grate and whisked up the batter before plopping in a handful of sliced strawberries. I lit the stove and when the oil sizzled, I spooned batter onto the pan.