Fearless

by Marlie May

  Rapid-paced footsteps approached, yanking my attention away from my browning breakfast. I braced myself, but it was Cooper running toward me.

  While I’d promised myself I’d ignore him, I couldn’t help staring. And what a view. He stalled beside me, lungs heaving, sweat cutting trails down his temples. More had created a broad line in the center of his brown tee. Writing on his left chest said, NMCB 14, and below it, Seabees. Can do.

  Can’t do, actually.

  A charred smell kept me from asking him what—if anything—he could do.

  “Watch out. It’s burning,” he said.

  Like everything else in my life. Scorched sugar hit my sinuses. I flipped my cake and held in my scowl. “I like it dark. Makes it crispy.”

  When the other side was done, I slid it onto my plate. I sat and coated the top with butter and launched my boat in a pool of syrup.

  “Four miles. I’m beat.” Cooper yanked his shirt over his head, revealing his delectable muscles. He tossed the garment toward his tent. Missed by a long shot.

  I held in my snicker and focused on consuming my pancake. Otherwise, I might stroke his chest with my eyes, abandon my breakfast long enough to do something forbidden like trail my fingertips across his tattoo.

  “Okay if I use some of this batter?” he asked.

  Crimping my lips together, I waved my hand toward the bowl.

  “I’m starved,” he said. “I can shower later.”

  Sure, act like nothing happened last night, why don’t you?

  I nipped off the snarky thought before it slipped past my lips. While my night had granted me little sleep, it had given my perspective. It wasn’t Cooper’s fault I’d rekindled my crush. He was mourning the loss of a relationship, and that needed to be respected. I’d shoved myself into the void, essentially taken advantage of his vulnerability. No rebound romance for me.

  He slid his perfectly golden cake onto his plate and joined me across the table.

  While he doctored his breakfast, nearly naked-man struck again, dragging my lust out in heavy waves. I smacked that baby down fast. But I couldn’t keep my eyes from gliding along his shoulders. His pecs. Focusing on his nipples.

  Fortunately, Eli arrived before I could make a fool of myself by touching.

  “Cool,” he said. “Strawberry?”

  I rose. “I’ll have some ready for you in no time.” Making more ingredients would occupy my brain. Should I tell Eli about what happened on the lake? Or go with the assumption it was an accident? The lines on my brother’s face told me he was exhausted. I’d wait until after he’d slept. “How’s your coworker doing?”

  “Fractured his ankle.”

  “Oh, no!” I’d met Steve a few times. Nice guy. Married with a new baby. “How long will he be out of work?”

  “Three weeks until his cast comes off. At least it wasn’t a bad break.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” I slid a big pancake onto Eli’s plate and handed it to him. “When do you have to work again?”

  “Three.” He dropped onto the bench where I’d been sitting and covered the cake with butter and syrup. His fork dug in, and he shoved a huge bite into his mouth. “This looks fantastic. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” Pausing behind him, I smoothed his mussed hair. “I was going to go into town this morning for supplies, but I can wait until you get up.” I needed ice and chicken breasts for dinner. Maybe I should make a list. What else would go well with the corn and the potatoes I’d brought from home? Some—

  “I probably won’t be able to bring you into town before I have to leave.”

  I felt bad the second he said it. He needed to sleep. While I could go alone, his Jeep had a manual transmission, and I’d never learned to drive a stick. “I guess I can get by without the supplies.” What could I make instead for dinner? There wasn’t much bread dough left, but we—

  “I’ll take you.” Cooper set his fork on his empty plate.

  I forced a smile. “Thanks, but I’m all set.” I’d rather eat leftover dough for dinner, washed down by warm beer, than sit in a car for twenty minutes with Cooper.

  “I have to go to the base, anyway,” Cooper said. “You can pick up what you need at the Commissary.”

  I hesitated. Did I really want to expose my fragile heart to Cooper Talon again this soon?

  “It’s not out of my way,” Cooper added.

  This might be a bad idea, but I really wasn’t looking forward to a skimpy dinner and warm beer. I could handle an hour or so with Cooper, couldn’t I?

  I sighed. “Okay. Thanks.” Riding into town with him had to be better than getting into trouble here at the campground while Eli slept.

  12

  Cooper

  Ginny grabbed her things and headed to the showers, while I cleaned up from breakfast. This left me and Eli alone at the campsite. I knew my friend was tired, but even my commanding officer with orders in hand couldn’t keep me from pinning him down.

  “I need you to release me from that promise,” I said.

  “I assume you’re talking about Ginny.” Eli set his toothbrush on the picnic table and scrolled briefly into his phone. When he looked up, grooves filled his brow. “Why?”

  “Because…well, I kissed her.”

  “You’ve only been here a few days. Please don’t tell me you and my sister have—”

  “Nothing like that happened.” Except, I’d stroked her body. And that kiss. Our kiss meant everything to me.

  “I don’t get why you’re pursuing this.”

  “Here’s the deal.” I settled on the picnic table bench. “I like her and want to get to know her better.” Go out with her. Talk about photos and gold. Joke about whatever came into my mind. I wanted to kiss her again. Touch her gorgeous breasts. Slide my fingers across her waist and delve into that sweet spot below if she’d let me.

  “You’re only here for a couple more days.”

  “Eight more days.” It could equal a lifetime. Things didn’t have to end there. We could—

  “Like a few days versus eight matters?” Snorting, Eli crossed his arms on his chest. “You’re deploying again soon. You’ll be gone for months.”

  “Ten weeks, but I’ll be back. Lots of deployed soldiers have girlfriends, wives.”

  Eli reeled back, his lips thinning. “You’re not thinking that far ahead, are you?”

  Was I? Hell, if I knew. “I just want a chance.”

  “To prove what?”

  “I don’t know.” I groaned and raked my hair. “Maybe nothing will come of it.”

  “What if something does? What if Ginny falls for you, expects things from you?” Eli’s intent stare bit deeply, messing with my resolve. “You prepared to give up your career? Move home and settle down? Because I know that’s the only thing she can consider right now. Someone stable who’ll be here for her. Not someone like that asshole she dated overseas. Guy wasn’t around when she needed him.”

  Acid burned through my stomach at the thought of her and the other guy together, but I had no right to feel jealous. She didn’t belong to me. She never would. Was I crazy to pursue this?

  “Tell me what you can offer her, bro,” Eli said.

  “I don’t know.” I hadn’t thought that far ahead. If things progressed, was I willing to leave the military and return to the town I’d run from? The thought of moving back to Maine created a dull, heaviness inside me like a boulder was crushing my chest. Moving back here would be the same as starting all over again with nothing changed, except I was older. Like the past twelve years had been wasted.

  “Think this through. You might not have to move home, but what will you do if you two hit it off? Come back once or twice a year for a visit? Women want men who can be there when they need them. Ginny especially.”

  What was Eli saying here? “I get leave. We can Skype.” I could barely keep my shoulders from caving. Even if Ginny let me into her life, could a long-distance relationship truly work? If I was a decent guy, I’d
forget this. Step back and let her find someone else. A local man who could give her what I was unable to deliver.

  A man who wasn’t fragmented by the abuse from his past.

  For whatever reason, I couldn’t let this go. I rubbed my chest with my fist, but the spasm wouldn’t go away. This wasn’t about jealousy or getting to know her better. I wanted—

  “Why not wait until you’re back from your deployment?”

  “I won’t get leave again for almost a year. Used most of it up coming home to take care of my dad’s place.”

  “So, you’ll return to the base in California and my sister will pine for you here in Crescent Cove.” Eli’s words ground out. “Exactly what I didn’t want to see happen.”

  I hated the way this conversation was going, but Eli was right. Again. Sure, I wasn’t a teenager any longer, eking out a living from bagging groceries at the supermarket. As a Seabee Chief, I earned enough money to take Ginny out. Do things for her. Buy her that ice cream like I’d wanted to years ago. But with her here and me in California, I couldn’t offer her what she needed more than anything else.

  All of me.

  Eli sighed. “You and Ginny, huh? You like my sister that much?”

  “I did years ago, too.” That same crushing disappointment I’d felt back in high school filled me now, magnified ten-fold. It made me question whether I’d get any further with Ginny this time around than the last. “She’s special.”

  “Why didn’t you ask her out back then? I wouldn’t have minded. Much.” Eli growled, but his smile emerged, showing he was only fooling with me.

  “After Dad…Well, I had to leave,” I said. “But I should’ve talked to her before I got on that bus for boot camp.” Should’ve believed in myself. I should’ve gotten an apartment after my father kicked me out, a job at the mill, and asked her to let me into her life.

  Too many should’ves and no way to go back and redo the past. I could only shelve my regrets and proceed from this moment.

  “This isn’t really up to me,” Eli said.

  “That promise.” I refused to go back on my word. If Eli wouldn’t release me, I’d need to forget her. As much as it might kill me to do it.

  “I’m the last one to suggest you leave your feelings for a woman buried.” Eli glared up at the sky, and I wondered who he was referring to. As far as I knew, Eli wasn’t interested in anyone. “If you can find a way to make my sister happy, you have my blessing.” He coughed. “Not that you need it from me.”

  “Ginny controls her own life,” I said.

  “Yeah.” Eli rose from the chair and crossed the campsite to drop his empty water bottle into the bucket. “And probably everyone else’s if they let her.”

  That prospect didn’t intimidate me one bit.

  Eli leaned against the picnic table and folded his arms on his chest. The intensity in his gaze pinned me to my seat. “I want your word you won’t hurt her.”

  “Of course.” I stiffened my spine. “I have nothing but respect for Ginny. Always have.”

  Eli nodded. “That’s all I need to hear.”

  Even though the AC was turned off, ice ruled inside the car. I couldn’t seem to find a way through it to find the Ginny I’d joked with yesterday.

  “Once we’re on the base,” I said, “you’ll need to stay with me because you have no military ID.” My words came out pompous, but she wasn’t working with me.

  She grunted and continued to stare out the window like she’d done the past ten minutes while I drove into town. “I’m not planning on strolling around the military base by myself.”

  “I just thought I should mention it.” How could I break through her hardened exterior and find the woman I’d held in my arms last night? Because things had changed. I could …pursue her. See what happened after that.

  “Would you mind stopping for coffee?” she asked. “We’re going to pass my usual place up here.” She pointed to Mr. Joe’s on the right.

  “Sure.”

  We coasted through the drive thru, each getting something to drink. After taking a quick sip, I set mine in the console holder and pulled back onto the main road, continuing south.

  Ginny stared out the window while sipping her iced mocha latte.

  And while I might be distracted by thoughts of her, I could swear a car was following us two vehicles behind. It kept me glancing into the rearview mirror, my pulse jumping in my throat.

  “What are you looking at?” A frown brewed on her forehead.

  Directing my focus to the road ahead, I whistled through my teeth. Should I tell her? I didn’t want to scare her without due cause. “What do you mean?”

  She faced me. “Don’t play around. You keep looking behind us.”

  “Watching traffic?” When her lips curled down, I said, “All right. I think someone’s following us.”

  Eyes widening, she peered behind. “Which car?”

  No mistaking her breathy tone. Crap. I had alarmed her.

  “The black one.” Much like the vehicle that had peeled away from the campground parking lot yesterday, come to think of it. Any relation to the man I’d passed on the path, the guy dressed in a sweatshirt with dirty blond hair? Details were adding up to…nothing. Not so far, anyway.

  “I’ll watch for you.” She pointed a few minutes later. “Oh, okay. Whoever it was turned off. It was probably nothing.” Slumping back into her seat, she redirected her attention out the window again.

  “Someone was following us,” I said. “For quite a distance.”

  “I’m a photographer. My biggest gigs right now are taking pictures of dogs in tutus. High school graduation photos. I’m not someone worth stalking. But you’re military. They might be interested in you.” Said like she wondered what I’d been up to overseas for the past few years. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so eager to repair things between us. “If you’re doing top-secret espionage, Eli didn’t tell me about it.”

  “You asked Eli about me?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Sure, you did.”

  Silence.

  Interesting. I’d quizzed Eli about Ginny whenever I dared. Had she been doing the same with me?

  Growling because I couldn’t figure this out, I turned onto the base and slowed as we approached the gate.

  An E3 stood outside the checkpoint dressed in camo, with a 9 mm strapped on her hip. I stopped beside her and handed over my military ID.

  “What’s your business here today, Chief?” she asked as she scrutinized it.

  “Exchange. Commissary.”

  Ginny leaned forward and handed over her driver’s license.

  “She’s going shopping with me,” I said.

  “Sounds fun.” The woman handed our IDs back with a smile. “You’re all set, Chief.”

  “Thanks.” I put the car back into gear and drove along the tree-lined road until the dense vegetation gave way to open spaces filled with parking lots and squat cinderblock buildings. “I’ll also need to be with you when you buy what you need at the Commissary.” I glanced at my arm—a pale band encircled it. “My watch strap broke. I need to go to the Exchange for another, but if you’re willing to wait, I’ve got a few things I need to get at the Commissary, too. Beer. Chips.” My laugh came out weak, but I hoped she’d take the bait. “Bread dough.”

  “Pizza again?”

  “What else could be on the menu tonight?”

  “I plan to dry-rub chicken.”

  My rumbling stomach suggested I was hungry already. “If I’m invited, then chicken it is.” Her silence suggested assent, so I ran with it. “That sounds awesome.”

  She tightened her lips.

  Okay, maybe things weren’t that great, after all.

  I pulled my vehicle into a space, and we walked inside the main building. Ginny aimed for the coffee shop while I went in the opposite direction, to the Exchange. After buying a watch band, I joined her at a table.

  “What else do you need besides chicken?” I asked.r />
  “Ice.” Her brows knitted. “And a few other things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Cookies.”

  “Any particular kind of cookies?”

  “Eli found my stash of Oreos last night, but I’m not saying a thing, because a hard-working man like my brother deserves all the cookies he can put away. Anyway. I need more double-stuffed.”

  I couldn’t resist teasing her, even though her mood still shouted uncertain. “What’s wrong with the single-stuffed variety?”

  Her face scrunched. “They’re boring.”

  “Why?”

  “Double stuffed are the perfect dessert when you eat them right.”

  A long paused followed while I waited for an explanation that never came. What had I missed? “I see.”

  Her eyebrows lifted, and her lips quivered. Her positive reaction made my body hum. Finally, I was making headway.

  “You must know what you’re supposed to do with double-stuffed Oreos,” she said.

  “Eat them?”

  Her smile rose but faded from her eyes sooner than I’d hoped for. “Guess so.” She stood. “You ready to go?”

  Had my rejection last night driven away the Ginny I was dying to get to know better? I wanted—no needed—to see her happy again. How could I make it happen?

  We dumped our cups and walked across the hall to the Commissary, where I held open the door and gestured for her to enter ahead of me. Inside, we wove a cart up and down the aisles, pausing to collect enough junk food to survive an apocalypse.

  “Well, if it isn’t Chief Talon,” someone said from behind me. “How are things?”

  That voice. I would recognize it even in dark terrain. I turned and shook the hand of the man who’d saved my ass overseas more times than I liked to admit. Flint had left the Navy eight months ago, though he’d stayed in the Reserves. “Awesome to see you.”

  Flint nodded to Ginny then gestured to our junk food-laden cart. “Looks like you’re stocking up for a long weekend.”

  “Can’t have enough Oreos,” I said. “What’s with the uniform?”

  Scowling, Flint tugged on his starched white jacket. Formal gear was a bitch in this heat. “Wedding. The bride begged for an Arch of Swords.”