by Danica Flynn
He grinned at me, and I think it was the biggest smile I had ever seen him wear. I wanted to make him feel that way all the time. To have that badge of honor that I was the reason his eyes twinkled brightly when he smiled.
“It’s late, you should probably get to bed,” he commented.
“Uh huh,” I agreed, but I was little drunk off his kisses and not really paying attention. I also was trying to see if he was going to kiss me again. Couldn’t he tell that I wanted him to kiss me like that all tender and tentative again? And then rip all my clothes off? Why weren’t we naked yet?
“D?” he asked.
“Hmm?”
“You okay?”
I nodded. “Fine. Just tired.”
“You should get some sleep.”
I shrugged. “I don’t really sleep.”
“Since when?” he asked.
“Forever? I’ve never been a good sleeper. You probably want to go back to your own bed, you’ve got a game tomorrow.”
He nodded and he bit his nail. “Come on girl, let’s get you to bed.”
I laughed. “Are you going to tuck me in or something?”
He pulled back the comforter and did exactly that, but then he got in next to me. He wrapped his arm around me from behind and stroked my hair. My back pressed against his chest as he held me close against his long frame. It felt good to be held, but I was still half convinced that I was dreaming. There was no way that Noah freaking Kennedy, superstar hockey player, had kissed me tonight and was now in my bed not trying to have sex with me.
Why wasn’t he trying to have sex with me?
I would have shed my clothes and let him have me any way he desired. I would have unraveled myself and let my guard down for this man who knew all my secrets. I would have let him break me down if he just pressed his gentle lips to mine again. But this was Noah, and instead his hands stroked my hair soothingly until I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Four
NOAH
I had psyched myself up so much over that kiss, that I couldn’t bring myself to go any farther than that. I couldn’t believe Dinah had kissed me back. She hadn’t pulled away or said, “Oh, honey…” in that condescending tone that I secretly loved. She had kissed me back, hungrily, like she wanted me to rip her clothes off and make all my fantasies come true. But we had both been drinking, and if she really wanted to cross that line with me, I wanted her to be sure about it.
It was super late, but I stayed with her until I heard the soft pattern of her breathing. Of course I finally made a move right before a road trip. I wasn’t sure I would even get to talk to her and tell her how I really felt for another week. God, was I an idiot for doing that? Her kisses were demanding and hungry, but the rational part of my brain couldn’t give myself over to that yet. Not like this.
I slid out of bed and planted a kiss on her forehead before letting myself out and back to my own condo next-door. I had a key to her place, so I made sure it was locked before I left. I slunk into my room, hoping to avoid TJ, who luckily was passed out already. I collapsed onto my own bed, and noticed I was still harboring a stiffy. Dinah Lace was going to be the death of me. But despite the uncomfortable hardness in my pants, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
“You coming to morning skate or what?” I heard TJ yelling what must have been two hours later.
I bolted out of bed with a start. “Shit! I forgot to set my alarm.”
TJ rolled his eyes at me. “Come on, let’s go, I’ll drive over. It’s game day.”
I rushed around getting dressed for morning skate.
In the car TJ was smirking at me. I side-eyed him. “What?”
“I noticed someone didn’t come home last night,” he said in a sing-song voice.
“I did, it was just really late.”
TJ got into the exit lane to get us to the arena in South Philly. “Uh huh,” was his unconvinced reply.
“TJ,” I warned.
“Did you finally get it in?”
“What? No!”
He looked hurt. “Did you at least tell her how you feel?”
“She knows.”
“How does she know?”
I studied my nails. “I don’t kiss and tell!”
“But you didn’t take her to Bone Town?”
I scoffed at him, “No.”
“Buddy! You really like her, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. I don’t—it’s D, you know?”
He punched me in the arm. “Oh man, you’re like in a puddle on the floor right now. That girl’s gonna be the death of you.”
He laughed and he parked the car at the arena. He shook his head at me while we walked into the arena and to the dressing room. I knew he would not stop razzing me about this. I got dressed for morning skate, and texted one of the sales people asking if I could get an extra ticket for tonight. The cute blonde who used to be an intern, Maxine, could probably help me out. I still wanted Dinah to come to the game, even if we were hopping on a plane for Detroit right after. Maxine came in clutch and hooked me up with an extra ticket, so I texted Dinah. Max was cool like that, she was quiet and reserved, but was always willing to help out.
ME: Come to the game tonight?
DINAH: You want me to?
ME: YESSSS!!!
DINAH: Ok.
I felt a towel hit me in the face and I looked up from my phone to see TJ and Riley looking at me with grins on their faces. “Did you ask her out?” Riley asked. “If you don’t, I will. That wasn’t an empty threat.”
I shook my head. “You’re not her type.”
Riley cocked a blond eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
I pulled the practice jersey over my head and laced up my skates. “She doesn’t like fuckboys.”
TJ, Benny, and Hallsy all roared with laughter. Our captain, Girard looked at me curiously. “Who are you talking about?” he asked.
Marc-Andre Girard was the blonde-haired French-Canadian who had been on this team for the past eight years. When the last captain had a career-ending injury, the organization gave him the “C”. He was a good guy, and a good player, but sometimes I wondered if he actually liked me. Dinah should have been interested in a guy like him, around her age, and not a young kid like me.
TJ nudged me in the ribs, but when I didn’t say he explained, “You remember our neighbor, D?”
“Your neighbor whose husband died? The one you missed a practice for?” he asked.
They were never going to let me live that down. My fist clenched as I stood up to get out on the ice and to end this conversation. “That’s the one,” was all I would admit to.
Girard narrowed his eyes. “Why did you miss that practice?”
“Not that it’s any of your business,” I started and stared pointedly at TJ. I guess I might as well tell everyone so they would get off my back. I just hoped Dinah would forgive me for telling them her secret. “I had to take her to the hospital, she almost died.”
TJ’s face fell. “Wait, what? Dude, you never told me that.”
I put on my helmet and skated off on the ice to start in on the shooting drills. TJ and Riley shared a look of concern, but I had my head down and was focusing on running through plays. I had to compartmentalize so I could play well in tonight’s game. Even though my heart kept on thrumming thinking about Dinah.
TJ skated up beside me and started shooting drills with me. “Kens, why didn’t you tell me?”
I shook my head. “Not my secret to tell.”
He scratched his face underneath his eye shield. “You know, she begged me for coach’s number so she could explain. That’s why he put you back in the lineup.”
“She did?”
He nodded. “You two are both hopeless. So how did she almost die?”
I shook my head.
“Will you just tell me? I won’t say anything.”
I wristed a puck into the net, and tried to ignore him. TJ was a scrapper on the ice, so he knew how to get into someone’s h
ead to be a nuisance. It was great for our opponents, not so great if he was your friend.
“Fuck…”
“She had a miscarriage,” I finally said. “Don’t tell anyone I told you.”
His eyes were wide with shock. “What? Her husband’s?”
I pointed a finger in his face. “Not a word, T!”
He held up his hands. “No, obviously. Fuck, losing her husband and then her baby…fuck, that must have been hard on her.”
I nodded. There were many nights when I wasn’t off playing hockey that I was her shoulder to cry on or her friend to talk to.
“Is that why it’s taken you two years to finally make a move on her?”
I nodded again sadly.
What was I going to do, swoop in after her husband died and ask her out? That was just low. She had been hurting and then to find out she had a part of him with her, but it all went to shit? I couldn’t have done that to her. I was the good friend and the shoulder to cry on. I just didn’t want to be that anymore, and I hoped she figured that out by now. Last night, she had demanded I kiss her, and then she kissed me back hungrily, like she wanted more. Like she wanted the thing I had fantasied about for so long. That had to count for something. I wasn’t a complete idiot by finally making a move. Right?
TJ thumped me on the back. “You’re a better man than me. That’s probably why she likes you.”
I smirked at him. “You’re everyone’s annoying kid brother.”
“Hey now!”
“Even to your sister and you guys are twins!”
I laughed and skated off away from him over to the bench to take a drink of water. Girard skated over to me. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey, Cap. What’s up?” I asked.
He eyed me cautiously. “Coach told me what actually happened, said your girl called him. That’s rough. You know me and Brianna, we went through that.”
I paused. Brianna was Girard’s wife and she had recently gone through losing a child.
He shrugged. “Anyway, good on you for helping her out.”
“She’s my best friend, I had to help her.”
He nodded. “Look, the age difference between you will be complicated, but if you really like this girl you should go for it.”
I looked at him surprised. “Oh…okay.”
He clapped me on the back. “Plus, she doesn’t basically suck your dick like all the other girls you’ve dated, so I like her.”
He smirked and skated off. Still had no idea if that guy actually liked me or not.
I hadn’t been sure if Dinah was actually going to come to the game. Dinah was a hardcore fan of the team. She was Philly born and raised. She usually watched, and would buy her own ticket if she wanted to come to the game. She didn’t like the idea of me paying for her to come to the game. I was more than surprised when she caved tonight.
When I stepped out on the ice for warm-ups, I was in the zone. Unfortunately, in the first period we played like absolute garbage. It didn’t help that I got pretty much boarded right in the numbers. My head had been throbbing, but I seemed okay. Daniels, the guy who did it was a pretty good dude, but all bets were off when you skated out onto the ice. He got a five-minute penalty, even though the team was calling for him to get kicked out. I seemed okay, but I took a bit to get up onto my skates and I hunched over with my stick on my knees. TJ helped me skate over to the bench so the doctors could get a look at me.
“Kennedy, you okay?” Coach LaVoie asked when I returned to the bench. Coach had trouble with concussions back in his day, so he was super conscious about any signs of head injuries.
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure if I really was or not.
The first period had been a shit-show. We barely got any shots on goal, and the other team already had two goals. Coach tore us a new asshole during the intermission. I didn’t normally check my phone during games because it distracted me, but I wanted to know if Dinah came. There were a couple texts from her.
DINAH: FINE, I came.
DINAH: You’re playing like garbage, you fuck.
DINAH: Am I not allowed to say that to you now?
DINAH: NOAH! Is your head okay?!?
DINAH: That was such fucking bullshit, rep missed a few calls there.
DINAH: OMG, I just realized I am very annoying with these texts. SORRY!
I couldn’t help the smile from creeping up on my lips. Benny leaned over to see what I was looking at. “Is that really what gets you going? ‘You’re playing like garbage, you fuck’?” he asked with a laugh. “If so, you should really talk to TJ’s sister, because that girl HATES me!”
I shoved my phone back into my cubby. “Rox hates you because you asked her if her tits were real. Who does that?”
Benny frowned at me. “I said I was sorry! I didn’t mean to blurt out what I was thinking!”
TJ was snickering. “She’s never going to forgive you. Also, stop staring at my sister’s tits! Gross!”
“I can’t help it if your sister’s hot!” Benny argued.
“Dude!” TJ whined. “Off-limits.”
Benny scoffed. “Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.”
I ignored their bickering and thought about Dinah’s texts. She was right, we were playing like garbage. Now I was just kicking myself that I would be on the road for the next week, and wouldn’t get to see her or really talk about what happened last night.
Chapter Five
DINAH
“Hey…” Brianna Girard trailed off looking pointedly at my phone. I stopped texting Noah like the annoying hockey fan I was, and turned to her.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You and Noah, how did that happen?” she asked.
I bit my lip. “Um, we’re just friends.”
She laughed. “What do you mean? You rarely come to games and when you do, you don’t sit with the rest of us. Something definitely happened.”
The boys were coming back on the ice, so I pretended to watch the starting line-up on the ice. Number 13, Kennedy was back on the ice. He seemed okay, but that check into the boards had been ROUGH. That was a bad boarding call, and I couldn’t believe Daniels wasn’t ejected from the game for it. Hitting a guy in the numbers was a big no-no in hockey. I was really worried about Noah’s head. I lived through the bad concussions that the current head coach Claude LaVoie went through. It had been a bad era in hockey. Not that today was any better, concussions in this sport I loved were still really bad. I couldn’t help wondering if Noah was just doing that tough hockey guy thing and playing through the pain. I worried about that gentle giant.
I watched Girard win the face-off and take the puck up the offensive zone, he passed it to Noah, who one-timed it into the net. I cheered with the rest of them and drank a little more of my beer.
During the TV time out, I noticed Brianna had her hand on her stomach and looked upset. “Hey, you okay?” I asked
She shook her head. “It’s just hard. I’m sure you heard.”
“Noah and TJ told me. I’m sorry.”
She waved me off with a hand. “I don’t think you understand what it’s like.”
I sighed and took a sip of my beer, even though my hands were shaking. I took her hand in mine and looked her in the eyes. “No one will understand what the pain, both physical and emotional will feel like.”
She gave me a confused look.
I sighed. I really didn’t like to talk about this. “Right after my husband died, I found out I was pregnant, and then I miscarried.”
She gripped my hand. “Oh, Dinah. I had no idea.”
I shrugged. “Not something I like to think about, but yeah it sucks. I—“
“What?”
I blinked back tears. “Noah was the one who found me. I almost died and I can’t have kids now.”
“Oh my god, Dinah! I’m so sorry!”
I waved her off. I didn’t know what had possessed me to reveal that secret. “So I understand how you feel, you’re allowed to be upset about it
.”
She smiled sadly at me and her gaze returned back to the ice. The game was on, so I settled in and watched my favorite team racing across the ice after the puck. The second period had gone way better than the first, but I was worried about Noah. In his last shift he looked injured, he was hunched over and was bracing his stick across his knees. Mia was sitting next to me now and sent a worried glance my way.
“Do you think Noah’s okay?” she asked.
I shook my head. “He seems hurt. He always plays through the pain. He feels like he has to prove himself or some shit.”
Mia laughed. I was sure she understood, Hallsy had a lot of injuries last season. “So what did you two get up to last night?” she asked.
I blushed and tried to hide it behind my beer. She just laughed harder and now Brianna was interested in what was so funny. I just shook my head. “Nothing!”
Mia was smirking. “Not even to move forward with your advice?”
I nearly choked on my beer. “No.”
“Hallsy actually listened to it,” she murmured with a wicked grin.
“No shit!” I exclaimed. I gave her a high-five. “Get it, girl!”
Mia laughed. “You’re so inappropriate.”
I shrugged.
Mia laughed again. “I wish I could be as blunt as you. Is that why you and Roxanne Desjardins get along so well?”
TJ’s sister was almost more blunt than I was. She also was a woman who didn’t give a fuck. I missed that lady. I just wished her and Benny wouldn’t fight so much every time she visited. I didn’t understand those two. They should just save us all the trouble and finally bone.
Brianna raised her eyebrow at me. “Okay, now you have to spill.”
I groaned. “I just enlightened TJ, Noah, and Hallsy on what women really want. Don’t make me say it.”
“What’s that?” Brianna asked amused.
“To not cheat and to go down on your lady,” Mia told her. “She’s not wrong, Bri.”
Brianna started laughing. “You did NOT say that.”
I shrugged again and waved them off, watching the play on the ice below. I didn’t want to say that Noah had kissed me last night, because I wasn’t sure what to make of it. That kiss he gave me was so sexually charged, I was surprised he hadn’t pressed me into my mattress and had his way with me. Nope, not Noah Kennedy, he tucked me into bed and held me until I fell asleep. I swear, he was created by women in a factory. When I woke up this morning and he was gone, I convinced myself that it had just been a dream. There was no way that my cute younger neighbor was actually into me.