by A. K. Evans
But I wasn’t.
I was here now. And so was Mack.
Still not wanting to worry any of them, I attempted to sound upbeat when I replied, “Oh, well, that’s not so bad, I guess. Besides, I’ll probably just hang out here in the lodge for a little while. There are a couple of shops up here in the village area. Maybe I’ll check those out and kill some time.”
“You’re really avoiding him,” she noted. “Are you sure everything is alright?”
“Yeah. Totally. And the house is actually pretty spacious, so we can both be there without having to even look at each other. Everything is good.”
“Hmmm,” she returned, clearly not believing me.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re doubting me?” I questioned her.
Faye let out a laugh. “You’re Marley Richardson, food blogger. You make your food, babe. You don’t go to the ski lodge to buy some fried chicken sandwiches.”
I smiled. I loved that she knew that about me.
Letting out a sigh, I confessed, “Okay. You got me. It was awkward between us. I wasn’t expecting him to be there. Not without Ryder anyway. But it’s good. We’ll be fine.”
“Keep talking,” she insisted. “I think you almost have yourself convinced of that.”
She knew me too well.
“It’s just one night,” I retorted. “We’ll survive it. As long as you’re all here tomorrow, I’ll be good.”
Faye and I talked to one another for a few more minutes before we disconnected. I finished the rest of my dinner and tried not to allow myself to get worked up about the fact that I was going to be spending the night alone in the house with Mack.
From a safety standpoint, I wasn’t worried. Mack might have been a lousy friend, but he would never physically harm me.
By the time I convinced myself that everything would be okay if Ryder wasn’t at the house when I got back, I got a bit of news that sent me spiraling again.
I’d been strolling through one of the shops that carried all sorts of winter apparel and riding gear from the bigger name brands, like Blackman Boards, as well as the resort-branded souvenirs, like coffee mugs, beanies, T-shirts, and sweatshirts.
As I was paying for my purchase of a Blackman Boards beanie and a Utah coffee mug, the cashier was speaking with another associate about the weather. The cashier had apparently just heard that the path of the storm had changed, and the mountain was now forecasted to get substantially more snow than they had already anticipated.
“What does that mean for what will happen here on the mountain?” I interrupted.
“It’ll mean fantastic riding conditions,” he answered. “But assuming it gets as bad as they’re saying it might, it’s very likely those conditions are only going to be enjoyed by those of us who are already here.”
My brows pulled together. I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this, but I didn’t want to believe it.
“Are you… are you saying—” I stammered before I was cut off.
“That there’s a strong likelihood the road up the mountain will be closed?” he asked, finishing what I couldn’t manage to get out. When I nodded, he confirmed, “Yes. It’s not often that that happens, but that road can be sketchy at best on a clear day. The resort has plows that handle the roads up here on the mountain, but this amount of snow is a lot and requires time to clear.”
I was no longer feeling so confident about being alone with Mack. One night, I’d find a way to manage. If they shut that road down and the rest of our friends couldn’t make it up for days, I didn’t know what would happen. There was already so much tension.
As I drove from the lodge back to the house, I had considered talking to him. There was a nasty storm, our friends were driving in it, and there was the strong likelihood that they wouldn’t make it here tonight.
My plan wasn’t to talk to him about us or what happened between us. But I didn’t think it was a bad idea to try to ease some of the tension between us for my own sake. Maybe I’d be able to feel a little less on edge if I made the attempt to share the details of what I’d learned, hopefully indicating to him that this could be a situation where we spoke to one another on an as-needed basis.
Unfortunately, now that I was back at the house and had just been treated to that look of disgust from Mack, my hopes of a slightly more relaxed atmosphere were gone. If I had any doubt about whether he meant what he said when he told Ryder he was done wasting time on me, there was no longer any question about it.
Mack was done wasting time on me.
It shouldn’t have hurt so much. But it did.
And now, there was no doubt this was going to get worse. I was surprised Mack even wasted his time looking at me.
Unable to go downstairs immediately after him, I wheeled my suitcase to the side and left it against the wall. Then I walked over to the couch in the front of the fireplace and sat down. If it wasn’t already dark outside, I might have gone to the far corner of the room where I’d stood earlier in the day—the same place Mack sat when he was talking to Ryder—so I could appreciate the view.
Since that wasn’t an option, the couch and the fireplace were it for me.
For the next couple of hours, I simply sat there reminiscing about the good times I’d had with Mack so many years ago. I missed it all so much. We hadn’t been dating, but losing him felt like going through a really bad break up.
I wished I would have known why he did what he did. I wished I would have had the courage to stand up and confront him back when it happened. I wished I could have demanded answers.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Because it hurt too much.
And now, I’d never have those answers.
There was no question that entirely too much time had passed for there to be any sort of resolution. I wasn’t even sure I wanted a resolution. In fact, up until I heard him say those words to Ryder, I believed I didn’t want a single thing to do with him.
Now, I was beginning to doubt myself.
Had I been so content with how things were because he was technically still in my life, even if I had attempted to convince myself and everyone else that I didn’t want him there?
As I sat there on the couch, asking myself a hundred different questions, I wondered what he was doing. Was he downstairs, feeling regret for what he did to me? Did he know that I’d heard what he said to Ryder? Did he even care? And how did he manage to just start speaking to me when he first came into the house earlier in the day? We hadn’t spoken for years. How did he just do it like it was no different from any other ordinary thing he did?
I hadn’t taken my eyes off him then. He wasn’t struggling with being in the same space as I was the same way that I had been struggling. Me being there didn’t affect him the way it affected me to have only him there.
Or, if he was having a difficult time with it, he didn’t show it.
I could have had a multitude of reactions. I chose the worst one. Maybe that would have been the perfect opening for me to get the answers I needed to heal and move on from what happened.
I wasted that opportunity.
And now, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get it again.
On that thought, nearly two hours after I’d returned from the lodge, I walked over to my suitcase, picked it up, and carried it down the stairs.
Then I went in the opposite direction of where I’d found Mack’s suitcase earlier and entered one of the rooms with the bunks. I went through my nighttime routine, climbed into bed, and tossed and turned all night.
I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. I didn’t know if our friends would make it here or not, and I didn’t know if the road would be shut down.
But tomorrow couldn’t be like today.
Tomorrow had to be better.
I needed to steel my spine and prepare myself for the frost that was bound to come my way from Mack.
It would be tense.
It would be awkward.
But I
had been through worse. I could pretend I didn’t care.
Besides, Mack had already let me down years ago. As long as I remembered that, as long as I kept that thought in the back of my mind, there was no way I could wind up feeling more disappointed and heartbroken.
Four
Marley
It was the creak of the stairs that forced my eyes open.
Mack.
He was awake, and judging by the sound, I was relatively certain he was going upstairs.
In an instant, it all came flooding back to me. Everything that had happened yesterday filled my mind. All I wanted to do was roll over and find a way to go back to sleep. It took me hours to settle down and finally drift last night, and despite how exhausted I felt, there was no way I’d be able to close my eyes and allow sleep to pull me under again.
For a long time, I simply laid there and strained to hear any noise he made upstairs. Either he was a stealthy ninja, or he was going through great trouble to not make much noise. Since I knew he wasn’t a ninja, I spent some time trying to figure out why he would care if he woke me up.
Then it dawned on me.
Mack probably didn’t want to risk waking me because then there could be another encounter between us. This was probably all about self-preservation for him.
That was fine.
In fact, I was glad we were at least on the same page regarding this whole situation. While Mack was upstairs, presumably making himself some coffee and breakfast, I waited downstairs. When he came back downstairs, I would go up.
Simple plan.
Easy enough.
Unable to fall back asleep, I decided to pull out my phone and see what was happening with the roads and the weather.
It took me only a few seconds to bring up the resort’s website and learn that the only road leading up the mountain was shut down. Of course, along with that report, I also received an update on the weather.
Apparently, from the time it started snowing late yesterday afternoon, roughly fifteen inches had already fallen.
I got out of the bed, moved to the window, and opened the curtains.
It was still snowing.
This meant, just like the employees in the lodge had mentioned last night, that riding conditions would be fantastic today. It also meant that my friends weren’t going to be here to enjoy it.
Saddened by that news, I went back to doing some research. It wasn’t until sometime earlier this morning when the crash that stranded Easton, Beth, and Faye was cleared. I couldn’t even imagine what it must have been like for them to be stuck in Easton’s SUV all night long in the middle of the highway during a snowstorm.
All I could do was hope that they were all safe.
Before I knew it, I heard the now familiar creak on the stairs and realized Mack was heading back to the bedroom he’d slept in last night. Now was my chance to get some breakfast.
As quickly as I could, I walked out of my bedroom and went upstairs.
One of the things that completely surprised me about the house we were staying at was that it came with a fully stocked kitchen. I expected to find certain things like condiments, spices, or pantry staples. I hadn’t anticipated finding a fully stocked refrigerator along with a welcome note on the kitchen island countertop that, amongst other things, indicated we should make ourselves at home and help ourselves to anything in the kitchen.
With so much food available, I did not hesitate to jump into doing something that would bring me some joy.
On this morning’s menu: breakfast hash.
Eggs, shredded potatoes, onion, cheddar cheese, spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes. I spent a few minutes preparing all the ingredients, pulled out the skillet, and got to work. It took almost no time for the aroma to fill the air, and I was practically salivating.
But seconds before I was about to shovel the food onto my plate, I heard Mack coming up the steps again. My body tensed, and I held onto the handle of the skillet after turning off the stove.
When Mack got to the top of the stairs wearing nothing but his base layers, I watched as he seemed to take in a deep breath. If I didn’t know any better, I might have thought he was inhaling the scent of my breakfast. Maybe he was just preparing himself for whatever interaction was about to happen.
I waited, and my eyes were riveted to his back. His impressive back. And shoulders. And arms. And ass.
I didn’t know if he’d reached out to the owner of Blackman Boards or not, but if they were looking for models for their base layers, I was convinced he’d sell a lot of their gear. Mack’s body was made for clothes. Hell, his body was also probably made for no clothes, too. I hated how I still struggled to remain unaffected by how gorgeous his body was.
Much to my surprise, Mack never turned around.
He took a few steps forward toward the front door and pulled his bib pants down off the hooks there. That’s when I looked away.
I couldn’t watch any longer.
If he caught me staring, there was no telling what he might do. Worse, I didn’t think I could handle the look that might be sent my way.
I focused my attention on my food, keeping my head down. I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t glance in his direction otherwise.
Sitting down on the stool at the island, I ate and listened.
I couldn’t see what he was doing, but I knew he was going out to ride. These were going to be great riding conditions, and Mack was the best snowboarder I’d ever seen in person. Given his athletic background and his desire to always be moving, it was no surprise he was heading out immediately in search of a full day of riding.
I slowly ate my breakfast, doing it while trying not to allow my heart to break. Because even though I tried telling myself last night that it didn’t matter to me, that I could pretend I didn’t care, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized just how much I relied on the distraction our friends provided in every other scenario where Mack and I had been around each other.
It felt like an eternity had passed before the front door opened and closed. It wasn’t until I heard it shut that I finally looked up from my plate.
I glanced toward the front door. Mack was gone.
I barely had enough time to let out a sigh when my phone rang on the countertop beside my plate.
It was Dakota.
“Hey,” I answered.
“So, I heard that you and Mack are stuck in that house alone together,” she greeted me.
“You heard correctly,” I confirmed.
There was a brief pause before she replied, “How are you holding up? Are you guys okay?”
“We’re fine,” I answered. “I mean, we’re not speaking with each other and it’s a bit intense and awkward, but we’re both still alive.”
“That’s a relief.”
Maybe I should have been looking at it that way, but it was hard being in it and trying to see any good at all. Not wanting to discuss it much, I changed the subject and asked, “How are you and Ben doing?”
Dakota let out a laugh. “Well, we were initially a bit bummed that we got caught up in things here at home and didn’t leave on time yesterday, but after what happened with Easton, Beth, and Faye, we don’t feel so bad. Heck, even Ryder ended up in trouble.”
“Is he okay?” I worried. “I saw reports that the accident that held up Easton and the girls had been cleared early this morning, but I haven’t heard anything from Ryder.”
“Ben talked to him last night,” she confirmed. “The roads just got too bad, so he decided to pull off and get a hotel for the night. There was no way he was making it up to the resort, and he definitely wasn’t going to drive back home either. So, he’s frustrated, but he’s safe.”
“That’s good news. Did you guys hear about the mountain road being closed?” I asked.
“Ben just told me about it before I called you,” she shared. “We didn’t have plans to come up today anyway.”
“You didn’t?” I asked.
“Marl
ey, we got substantially more snow than they anticipated down here,” Dakota started. “Between the roads being a mess and power outages across different parts of the county, it’s a disaster. And given that they shut the highway down for that accident yesterday, we’re not convinced that even that will be cleared enough to travel safely.”
This was not good.
I mean, I knew that they couldn’t exactly come up the mountain road, but it seemed the only one who might be closest to getting here was Ryder. I wasn’t entirely sure what he thought of me now that Mack had trash talked about me to him.
“So, what are you guys thinking? Are you not coming at all?” I questioned her.
“Of course, we’re coming,” she assured me. “But we thought we’d give it a day or two for them to clean things up here before we head up that way. Plus, Ben wants to make sure that road up the mountain opens up, too.”
I stood up and walked over to the window, leaving my breakfast sitting on the counter. Looking out, I shared, “They’ve got guys clearing the road in front of the house right now, so I’m guessing things will be good by tomorrow.”
“Yeah, as long as that second storm doesn’t come along and do more damage,” she noted.
“What?”
“There’s another storm coming, and they say it’s supposed to be worse than this one,” she informed me.
I turned around and moved back to the stool. “You’re not serious,” I stated.
“Yes. It’s all over the news and social media, Mar. What exactly are you doing there that you don’t know any of this?” Dakota asked.
“Trying to avoid Mack,” I confessed.
A lengthy pause ensued before she pressed, “Are you sure you’re okay? What is going on there?”
“I heard him on the phone with Ryder yesterday,” I admitted. “Aside from being completely pissed about the fact that I said all of two words to him when I silently freaked out about it just being the two of us here, he told Ryder that he was done wasting his time on me.”
Dakota’s voice was hushed when she replied, “I’m sorry, Marley. But, truthfully, isn’t that what you want anyway? I mean, it’s not like you two have really spoken to each other in years. Why would that upset you so much?”