“Yes, it’s beginning to move now, isn’t it? You can feel it moving can’t you Liza?” said the doctor.
Liza laughed, “Either that or it’s indigestion.”
“Patricks back now, Liza. I trust he’s being gentle with you,” said Dr Steele delicately.
“Yes, doctor. You know that he would never do anything to hurt me or our child,” said Liza.
Dr Steele was not sure that Liza had understood his meaning; he thought she may have but he decided that he would talk to Patrick and he could be more explicit with him. He felt it had been so sad that Frank Wyley’s attack on Liza had done so much lasting damage to her. He was surprised that she had conceived at all, let alone twice, and he was concerned that if she did get to full-term, actually having the child could be very dangerous. He was looking at the black side of things and probably Liza would sail through the birth as she had done with young Matthew.
He would have liked to talk to Dr Bridges, but the good doctor had bouts of memory loss, at other times he became quite aggressive and there were many occasions when he was completely normal. He also felt that the doctor’s strangeness had only started to be noticeable when Liza had been in such difficulties after the Frank Wyley incident and he knew that neither she nor Patrick would ever again consult with Dr Bridges, but he often felt the need for a second opinion which was now no longer possible.
He watched Liza going to visit Brigeta and her daughter and saw the colonel’s wife and then Bea Graves head in the same direction, so he went to see where Patrick might be and found that he was in with the captain and colonel in his office. He asked Ben to send Patrick over to see him as he just wanted to check that he was fit after his mission. Ben thought this unusual but he was not a stupid man and he wondered whether it was really something to do with Liza knowing the problems she’d had in the past. He passed the message on to Patrick when he finally emerged from the colonel’s office. Patrick also was not a stupid man knowing that the doctor normally did not ask to see perfectly healthy men returning from a mission.
“Well, doctor,” said Patrick, “what are your concerns with Liza? I know you’re not really worrying about my health.”
“Patrick. I’m not really worried about Liza at present, but she has gone through a great deal in the past and has confounded what we would consider the outcome of past diagnoses. I tried to talk to her this morning but either she didn’t understand my meaning or she was just playing dumb and I think it was probably the latter. I try not to interfere in people’s lives, especially as far as nocturnal activities are concerned but feel that I must try to speak words of wisdom and caution.”
“I think I know where this discussion is going and so did Liza. She is a master at pretending not to understand and skilfully changing the subject,” said Patrick. “Tell me what you were asking her?”
“I asked her if you had been gentle with her, and she replied that you would never hurt her or her child, and I was left not knowing whether she understood what I was asking,” said Dr Steele.
“Of course she knew what you were asking and I dare say she won’t tell me of your concerns,” said Patrick. “Are you saying that I should really not sleep with my wife, doctor? If you feel that it would be better for Liza and the baby’s health then I will do what is necessary.”
“Good Heavens, Patrick, I’m not saying that. I realise how difficult that would be for you both. I can see how it is between the two of you. You enjoy one another immensely and always have done. I am saying that it would be advisable if you don’t; how can I put it, chase her around the bedroom, fling her on the bed and ravish her; much as I’m sure she would enjoy it. An element of gentleness is necessary whilst she is in this condition, but I’m sure you knew that anyway. I’d be failing in my duty if I didn’t mention it to you,” said Dr Steele.
“Thank you, doctor, I know that you have our best interests at heart and I know you appreciate how difficult it would be for me to keep away from her but I would do anything to keep her safe, you know that,” said Patrick.
“Well, Patrick, don’t hold back from bedding her if that’s what you both want, I don’t want two frustrated people on my hands to sort out, just both of you be a little careful,” said Dr Steele.
As Patrick left Dr Steele, Liza was making her way towards the stables where her buggy was, he ran to catch up with her. “I’ve one or two things to finish off here, Liza, if you want to wait.” This was Patrick being over cautious again.
Liza smiled at him and said, “It’s all right, Patrick, I have a few things to do in town before the boys get home, so I will see you there later.”
“I’ll help you into the buggy but do drive carefully,” he said and Liza went on tip toes and kissed him on the cheek, smiling at his concern. He’ll get used to it all, thought Liza, at least I hope so.
Chapter 4
Patrick was settling back nicely into the army life that he so enjoyed, and everyone was getting ready for the big Christmas party at the fort which was to include the whole adult population of the town. Zelma had decided that she would prefer to look after the boys, but Liza knew that she had bought some presents for Christmas and wanted to have some quiet time to wrap them ready for the day.
“When’s Sean arriving back, Patrick?” Liza asked one evening. “I hope he’ll be here for the Christmas party.”
“I’m not sure, Liza. I’m afraid we had a disagreement and he’s thinking of requesting a transfer to some other unit,” said Patrick sadly.
Liza stared at Patrick shocked. “Patrick, you two have been working together for so long, surely he can’t really mean it. It’s nothing to do with me, is it, Patrick?”
“Not really anything to do with you, although it does in a way,” and Patrick told her what had happened at the Cherokee camp and how Sean had felt that he had been kept in the dark which he felt had endangered everyone. Patrick admitted to Liza that it really was essential to be told exactly what to expect when they were walking into a potentially dangerous situation. Naturally, he did not mention that White Wolf was still alive.
“But you going into the Cherokee camp is no longer dangerous for you; they will always protect you and whoever is with you. Sean had his talisman, didn’t he?” said Liza.
“Yes, but I didn’t tell him that we could walk into the camp with immunity, so he was naturally on edge and carried his gun loaded and ready to fire. If it appeared that there was a threat, he would have fired first and asked questions later and an unholy incident could have taken place which would have meant that no matter how much I had been afforded protection, others hadn’t,” said Patrick.
“It all worked out well though, didn’t it?” said Liza.
“Sean and I have never had secrets before and I believe that he was hurt that he was unaware of a great deal which had happened to you, me and the boys which in its way affected this mission and he no longer has trust in me, which would definitely affect our working relationship. In our work we have always known that we can cover one another’s backs, but Sean doesn’t feel that there is that trust anymore and therefore he feels that he would be vulnerable on any future mission,” said Patrick. “Between Sean and I, trust has always worked both ways and now he feels that it was only one way this time.”
“If you have always had such trust then I can’t understand his feeling of vulnerability, and he should have known that you would never have let him be harmed or put him in a position so that he felt he had to shoot somebody. You were quite confident in what you were doing and I would have thought that with what you have done before together he would have known that,” said Liza.
“But he didn’t know that, Liza, which was the whole basis of his argument. I should have told him and I think you know that I should really have done that,” said Patrick.
“Is there anything I can do to help, Patrick?” asked Liza. “I don’t like the thought of you and Sean going separate ways. You’ve been together so long and worked so successfully with one anothe
r. I really do have to take some of the blame for this because it is all to do with me and Matthew. Sean is coming back here before Christmas, isn’t he?”
“He should be here in a day or two. I’ll see if I can smooth things over when he gets back,” said Patrick.
“I believe Kathy is inviting him for Christmas lunch as well as that handsome Mark Kendal,” smiled Liza having realised that Patrick’s demon jealousy had reared its ugly head the day he arrived back to find her partying at the fort.
Sean made it back to Benson two days before the party. Liza saw him get off the stagecoach as she was driving her buggy out to the fort. She stopped and offered him a lift which he gratefully accepted. As he got into the buggy, her blanket slipped from her waist and Sean couldn’t help noticing that she was pregnant.
“Ah, Liza, congratulations, when is it due? I bet that was a surprise for Patrick, or perhaps it’s something else he failed to tell me,” said Sean.
“It’s due in May and Patrick didn’t know until he returned. I kept it from him as I felt that it could take his mind off the dangerous job that you both were doing. Sometimes we have to keep quiet about important things in our lives. Yes, Patrick was very surprised but pleased,” said Liza.
“Forgive me for saying this, Liza, but isn’t it a little dangerous for you,” said Sean.
“It’s a little dangerous for any woman, but I’m being well-looked after,” said Liza. “The Christmas party is in a couple of days, Sean, so you’ve got back just in time. The whole town is looking forward to it. I think we’re going to be free of snow until well after Christmas so it will make it easy to get there this year. Here we are. Where do you want to be dropped off?”
“Outside my quarters will be fine thanks. It’s really good to see you, Liza, you seem to bring a little sanity to an otherwise crazy world,” said Sean.
“That’s sounds rather depressing. I’ll see you soon, Sean and welcome back, Patrick will be pleased to see you, I know he will,” said Liza.
Liza was there that day to help start getting the hall ready for the Christmas party. Ada, Bea and several other women were bustling around moving tables and chairs and Liza went forward to help but was promptly ushered over to a chair and told in no uncertain terms to sit down.
“What’s the use of my being here if I have to stay sitting on a chair?” asked Liza.
“When we have the tables in place, you can help putting cloths on them and I’ll bring the plates and glasses over and you can set those out also, but you are not going to move tables or chairs, so do as you are told and sit down,” said Ada sharply.
Liza looked up at her and frowned. “What’s the matter, Ada, you should be looking forward to this party and Christmas.”
Ada came and sat next to her. “Felicity is being put on the first ship to America when spring comes. I’ve heard from Amelia and Wendell who are picking up the pieces of Edward’s life. He’s so very miserable that he is quite ill.”
“I haven’t heard from anyone in Belfast for a little while, but I am due some letters. I thought they would arrive before Christmas, they may still do. I’ve heard from New York but nothing was mentioned,” said Liza.
“How do you feel about her being here, Liza?” asked Ada.
“Felicity does not like me Ada, so I can’t really say that I’m happy at the prospect. Also, she has hurt my friends and especially Edward; it is, therefore, going to be difficult for me, but it’s something that I will have to cope with. Is the child with her father?” asked Liza.
“Yes, the child is with her father, but that doesn’t seem to be working too well. Although his wife seemed happy to take her, that appears not to be quite as everyone would have liked,” said Ada.
“What is going to happen to the girl if the father won’t keep her? I suppose Felicity will have to take her back. Is she still with the Fullers?” asked Liza.
“Yes, she’s still living there, although they would prefer that she finds alternative accommodation as Peter and Joseph won’t return until she leaves,” said Ada.
“I’m sure that Amelia and Wendell would find her a small place to live in the meantime,” said Liza.
“They have done that, but somehow she seems to find her way back to them. I believe she has also tried to reclaim your house for herself, but your people have been very aware of what might happen and she has not been allowed in. I think that Amelia is worried that Felicity is definitely suffering some mental problem, which I think she probably is,” said Ada.
“Out of all this, it is the child who will suffer, but that’s always the case, isn’t it?” said Liza.
“You run a charity for children over there; don’t you Liza?” asked Ada. “Is it the sort of place that children such as Felicity’s daughter could be taken to?” asked Ada.
“Oh no, Ada! Definitely not! It’s solely for children who have been sexually abused. You can’t seriously think that your only grandchild should be put into an orphanage,” said Liza. “What does the colonel think?”
“He thinks that Felicity should be locked away in some mental institution, but I don’t think he really believes that,” said Ada but Liza wasn’t so sure.
“I meant about the child,” said Liza.
“He thinks like you, Liza. A child should be with its mother and he believes that Felicity should take responsibility for her. He quotes how you had Matthew in very difficult circumstances and moved heaven and earth to make sure you kept him with you,” said Ada.
“Well, I wouldn’t let him say that to Felicity when she gets here; from what I remember, Edward held me up as an example of something or other and that seemed to set her off quite considerably. It’s all such a mess and very sad and even more so as a child is involved,” said Liza.
By this time the tables and chairs had been put in place and Bea came staggering in carrying a basket full of table cloths, so Ada and Liza’s discussion was curtailed.
Liza didn’t really want to know about Felicity, she wanted to hear about Edward, Amelia and Wendell and thought how sad their Christmas was going to be. Last year’s was such fun for everybody and Liza could only imagine the long faces which would be around their table. She wondered whether Peter and Joseph would be there to help Edward, she hoped so. She decided that she would not ask about the child again otherwise she knew that she would only get involved and she now had her own new baby to think about, along with Matthew and John. She smiled when she thought how her own family had increased since last year.
When Liza was leaving she was pleased to see that Patrick and Sean were deep in discussion and she decided not to disturb them. She hoped that they could solve their differences because even though she knew how Sean felt about Patrick they did work well as a team and had got one another out of difficulties on numerous occasions.
Liza was home before the boys came in from school and so she went to her bedroom and put her feet up for a while. She was really annoyed that Felicity was going to be coming to Benson. She loved living there and when Felicity arrived she felt that she may no longer be able to relax. But she was not going to worry about that now, it may never happen. Felicity may go elsewhere, Liza hoped so.
She must have fallen asleep and the next thing she knew was that two small faces were staring at her. “We were just making sure you were all right,” said Matthew with John nodding beside him.
They only had another day to go before school broke up for the Christmas holiday, so the house would be full of noise throughout each day leading up to Christmas morning, when the noise would be even louder. She tried to remember what her Christmas had been like when she was a child; they had been happier when her brother was alive, but once he had died, Christmas had been a very sad affair. Her children were never going to have a sad Christmas if she could help it.
Zelma had their tea ready and Si came and joined them as usual. Gabriel was busy at his office these days; work was going well for him and Si was no trouble to them; he felt just like part of the family. It was
going to be a big Christmas lunch at Kathy and Joe’s and Liza hoped that Sean would accept the invitation. Of course each Christmas everyone felt the loss of Danny, but he was talked about quite openly now, and there was also laughter about some of his antics.
Patrick arrived home looking relaxed and quite happy and Liza hoped that he was going to tell her that he and Sean had solved their differences. She wouldn’t ask; she would wait for him to tell her.
When the boys were in bed and they had finished their meal, cleared away and Zelma had gone to her home, Patrick asked Liza what it was that she had said to make Sean change his mind about requesting a transfer.
Liza smiled happily. “I’m so pleased he’s not going and that you’ll still be working together. You must be very happy about that, Patrick, I know I am.”
“You haven’t answered my question; you always do that,” said Patrick.
“I don’t think I said anything particularly relevant. I just said that sometimes we have to keep quiet about important things and I told him that I knew that you would definitely be pleased to see him back. That’s all. He probably read more into it than there was,” said Liza.
“I’m sure he didn’t,” said Patrick. “He’s very concerned for you, Liza. You know that he sat in the hospital with us for a long time when we lost our first one; he also saw James come to take you and he helped me fight him. We both realised today that we are all very much part of one family. I’ve known him for so long, he is like a brother and I know that he feels a very great affection for you and the boys. We both know that we work so well together that the army would probably not let him transfer; we’ll continue watching one another’s backs and make sure that we know whatever is necessary before each assignment. Thanks Liza, I think that you brought some common sense to both of us.”
“I honestly don’t think that I have done anything, but I am delighted. I’d like to ask him to be godfather to the new one when it arrives. Do you know whether John has been christened? It’s something I didn’t think to ask. If he hasn’t then he’ll need some godparents, perhaps Sean would be better for him,” said Liza.
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