“You can always talk to me, Ellen, there’s no harm in that and you know why it’s probably best if others don’t know. They would give you a great deal of sympathy but they would also treat you differently to anyone else which would set you apart. It would be so much better if you are treated normally like everyone else and much as people here are very kind, it would always stay in the back of their minds. It’s the same for the twins, it’s much better that they are admired because they are twins than thought of as having had a difficult start to life,” said Liza. “It isn’t because you have to be ashamed, as you have nothing to be ashamed of. I think you have been very brave and I know everyone is pleased that you are here, I know I am.”
“Do you think I’ll ever be able to read and write well enough to teach?” said Ellen.
“From what I have seen this morning, I would say that, as you had no education before you were with the doctor, you are doing remarkably well and you are going to be able to do exactly whatever you are aiming for in life,” said Liza.
At that moment there was a knock at the door and Dr Tom let himself in. He was pleased to see Ellen and even more delighted that she was taking lessons from Liza as he knew that Liza could help her a great deal. Liza told him how well she thought Ellen would be able to learn and in a relatively short space of time.
“Have you finished your lessons for the day, Ellen?” he asked.
“Yes, but I’ll be back tomorrow at the same time,” said Ellen happily and she left for her home.
“It’s good of you to do this for Ellen. I think that she is quite intelligent but obviously hasn’t had much of a start in life. Anyway, I’m here to see how you are and I’m going to call in every day until your baby is born as I know you need more looking after than most in your situation,” said Dr Tom.
“Don’t say that, Tom. I think that I am as fit as any woman in my condition and I am unnecessarily worried about by so many people,” said Liza.
“Liza, you are not a stupid woman and you know that, with this pregnancy, you need much more care than other women in your condition. You may try to pretend to Patrick that everything is going smoothly, but you can’t pretend to yourself and I don’t think you are convincing Patrick either. I have seen how unwell you feel sometimes and so has Patrick, but I am going to get you and your baby safely through this and you are going to do exactly as I tell you,” said Tom.
“Oh, that sounds rather ominous,” said Liza.
“It’s very simple, Liza. You need your feet up whenever you are sitting and you do need to rest a great deal more than you have been doing. You have a perfectly good couch in your sitting room so instead of sitting at this table as you do quite often, go and sit in there and put your feet up, or if you feel the need to stay in here sit in your rocking chair and have a sturdy footstool and use it. I’m going to give you some medicine which will put extra iron in your blood because you look very pale and anaemic. When you are teaching Ellen, put your feet up and do not take the worries of this town on your shoulders. When you visit people, ask for something to put your feet on, if they are friends, they will completely understand. You have a wonderful friend in Zelma; she will look after the boys for you. I know that they love you, so follow my instructions and they will keep you with them for a long time to come.”
“Do you really think that just putting my feet up will take all my problems away? Isn’t that a little naive of you? Or perhaps you think that I am naive. You know as well as I do that I was damaged beyond repair some years ago and that it is going to be a miracle if I survive this. You’re right, Tom, I’m not stupid but I needed to pretend to myself that I am and I certainly need to pretend to Patrick and the boys that all is well. So please let me carry on the way I am and try to keep some normality in this family as long as I can,” said Liza.
“You take my breath away, Liza. You are acting so calmly and talking normally to everyone; you’re teaching Ellen; you made sure that I and my family are comfortable; and you spare time for anyone who needs to talk to you. Most of all, you try to keep Patrick in the dark, but I don’t think you are succeeding in that because I’ve seen the way he looks at you with fear in his eyes, in fact I see that fear in him most of the time,” said Tom.
“I take that fear away from him every day, and I don’t need you to tell me that he’s scared, I know he is and I don’t want it mentioned again. Yes, I’ll put my feet up and yes, you can call in on me every day, but as far as anyone else is concerned, I am fit and this is a normal pregnancy and I trust you to keep it that way,” said Liza angrily.
Her green eyes flashed and he was taken aback by her anger. “I’ll respect your wishes, Liza and I very much respect you. I will do my utmost to keep you safe and well. I will call on skills that I hope I possess as this world would be a much worse place without you.”
“Thank you for that, but I’m really nothing very special and I don’t want to be. Why do you think I want to live here? I could live a life of total luxury elsewhere, but I like living the way I do. I want the boys to be brought up in a normal environment. I want to live with my husband in a happy but normal way,” said Liza.
“I know I’ve upset you and it wasn’t my intention but having done so I might as well say something further. It has always been obvious that you and Patrick have an extremely loving relationship and I presume that it is in all ways, especially at night. In your current condition it would be wise to cease all such activities if you haven’t done so already, and it gives me no pleasure to talk to you like this,” said Dr Tom.
Liza was quiet; she wasn’t embarrassed; she was holding back her annoyance. She finally said, “You know as well as I do that I may only have a few weeks left and I am not going to spend them abstaining from any pleasure that Patrick and I find in one another. All that you have told me to do and not to do is not going to make the slightest difference to the outcome and we both know that. It is just your way of making yourself feel that you have at least done everything you can to help. There is nothing you can do which will change what will happen; nature will take its own course.”
“Don’t say that, Liza; all that I have suggested may help and would be worth trying and I do so want you to get through this fit and healthy,” said Dr Tom.
“I think that it would be better if I stayed with Dr Steele. I don’t wish to offend you but Dr Steele allows me my illusions and he tells me that all is well even if it is only pretence on his part. I’m afraid you are trying to make me join the real world and I can’t do that to Patrick and the boys; they need me to be calm, reassuring and above all, perfectly normal,” said Liza.
“Of course you must see Dr Steele if you feel happier doing that, but if you will let me, I can pretend as much as the next man and I do only live a couple of doors down from you,” Tom smiled at Liza. “At least let me try to look after you and I will treat you as ‘normal’, I promise.”
Liza held his gaze for a while and he felt that those bright green eyes bored right through into his brain and then suddenly it was as though she had made up her mind about something and she looked away. When she looked back, it was the old Liza, calm, happy, friendly and with not a care in the world. It was the Liza that the town saw and that Patrick and the boys saw, although Tom knew that Patrick was not so easily convinced.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then Tom,” Liza smiled at him. “Do you want to come before Ellen’s lesson – with my feet up – or after?” And she laughed with him.
“I’ll come after, unless I get called out. Although nobody else has asked for my services yet, which is probably just as well as I’m still trying to get organised,” said Tom.
“Did you know that around sixty percent of Benson has signed up to the health scheme? Has Mr Pembroke given you the list of names yet?” asked Liza, who was back into her business like mode.
Tom was amazed that she could channel her mind onto business so quickly after talking of her own demise. “No he hasn’t but I’m due to see him later toda
y, so he’ll probably update me then.”
“How are the twins? I haven’t heard them speak much. Do they have as broad an accent as Ellen?” asked Liza.
“They love being held and cuddled and they are now smiling a great deal more, but they don’t seem to be talking very much. When they do we find that their accent is more southern than northern Irish. They haven’t been able to say where they originally came from. We are a little concerned by their lack of communication,” said Tom.
“I wouldn’t worry too much Tom; twins often don’t need to talk as they know what each wants without words. They will, as they get used to being here and the people and children around them,” said Liza confidently. “If you think they need early tuition, just let me know, although I dare say that Hannah already has that in hand?”
Tom left saying that he would visit the next day and feeling that he had been well and truly put in his place.
The days were passing quickly now. Ellen was reading quite well and her accent had been tempered. The boys were their normal noisy selves. Zelma was somewhat quiet and thoughtful. She showed concern every time she looked at Liza, until Liza told her to stop staring as it was rude. Tom called in every day as Ellen finished her lessons and Liza noticed that now there were a number of patients calling at the surgery.
She and Patrick made love every night. They both needed one another that way and it released their worries and their tensions, making them ready to face the next day with smiles even if they were, on occasion, false.
Chapter 9
Liza was in her buggy on her way to see Ada, Bea and the children one day and stopped at the general store to talk to Kathy as the stage drew up outside the hotel and a shiver went up her spine as she heard the shrill complaints of a familiar voice that she had hoped she would never hear again. Kathy looked at her and said, “Oh no,” and Liza just nodded in resignation.
“And how am I expected to get to the fort from here with my luggage?” asked Felicity Fuller loudly.
“To be honest, lady,” was the reply from an exasperated driver, “I don’t really care. My job was to get you to Benson and I’ve done that, the rest is down to you.”
“Obviously the colonel and Ada had no idea that she was arriving today,” said Liza to Kathy. “I suppose I had better offer to give her a lift out to the fort as I’m going that way, but I won’t have room for all that luggage. Do you think Greg can help with the luggage? Not that he will be thanked for doing so.”
Liza called across to Felicity asking if she could help in getting her to the fort.
“I have too much to get in your little buggy,” called Felicity.
Liza smiled at Kathy and shrugged and was about to move off towards the fort when Felicity called, “Well, perhaps I could leave some of it here at the hotel and get somebody to collect it later.”
Greg went across the road to her and she could be heard telling him which to put in ‘that buggy’ and which to put in the hotel and she gingerly crossed the road and climbed in next to Liza without another word. Liza just looked at Kathy and shook her head.
“Hello Felicity,” said Liza deliberately. “It seems that your parents had no idea that you would be arriving today.”
“Obviously not,” said Felicity. “I see you’re going to have another one. I wouldn’t have thought it wise at your age.”
Liza didn’t reply and they travelled the rest of the way to the fort in silence. As Liza swept in through the gates Patrick was taking the parade and was momentarily distracted seeing his wife with Felicity Fuller and an involuntary “Oh Lord” escaped his lips.
Sean and Mark were watching the parade from just outside their barracks and saw Liza and Felicity arrive and pull up outside Ada’s quarters. “Who’s that?” asked Mark who appeared intrigued and impressed by a pretty face.
“That’s the colonel’s daughter, Mark, so I’d keep my distance if I were you,” said Sean who knew of some of the problems which surrounded Felicity, but he was always discreet.
“I’ll have to get somebody to help me with my luggage,” said Felicity and Mark was there in an instant.
“Hello Liza, how are you? Can I help with your luggage, Ma’am?” he said hoping to be introduced to Liza’s companion and was surprised that nothing was said by Liza. He lifted the bags down and Felicity smiled at him and asked him to put them in the colonel’s quarters. By this time Liza had driven off towards the stables without a word.
From the stables she walked to Bea’s quarters where Ada also was. “Your daughter has arrived, Ada, I dropped her at your quarters and I believe Mark Kendal is helping with her luggage.”
“You dropped her? That must have been awkward for you. I’d better go, Bea, nice to see you, Liza. I’ll see you again soon. I had no idea she was on her way,” and Ada disappeared towards her quarters.
Bea looked at Liza. Although they never discussed any business which could be termed gossip, it was obvious that Bea knew a great deal about the problems with Felicity.
“Ada was right, it must have been awkward for you,” said Bea.
“I just gave her a lift here; we didn’t talk. It was best that way. Mark seemed over-enamoured with her, I hope he doesn’t get too friendly,” said Liza.
“He’s being transferred to Clarkson for a couple of months; they need another lieutenant to take the place of someone on leave on compassionate grounds. He was just told today and much as he likes it here, it’s a temporary promotion for him and it will do his career no harm. So, it may be a blessing if he’s away from here for a while; although he’s not stupid,” said Bea.
“Men can be stupid when they see a pretty face,” was all Liza would say on the subject. They then discussed Bea’s children and especially Rachel, who had finished her second book and reluctantly Bea felt that the time had come for her to attend school, but she said that Rachel was frightened of mixing with other children as it was something that she had never done before. Liza suggested that it might be a good idea for Bea to bring her around to her house to see the boys and she would ask Angela to call also. That should help take away some of her fears and if necessary, Liza would go to the school with her for a couple of days and stay for an hour or two.
“I think she’d enjoy being with other children once she gets used to them. She’ll have a nice time playing with them; she just hasn’t had the opportunity before. I’m sure she’d enjoy learning as she’s very bright. Anyway, I’d better get back to my two; they’ll be home from school soon,” said Liza.
Patrick saw her leaving and joined her on the walk to the stable. “I was very surprised to see you with Felicity. I wouldn’t have thought that you would have been her first choice of a ride to the fort.”
“There was nobody else. The coach driver appeared to have had enough and was taking her no further. I was on my way so five minutes suffering on my part was a small price to pay to get her out of the town. I hear Mark will be leaving us for a while. I think that might be just as well having seen the way he looked at Felicity,” said Liza.
“Yes, he was asking if I would introduce her to him properly as you were obviously too busy to do so. I said that he would probably meet her at a function at some time when he was back. He looked a little puzzled, but he probably thought that I was reluctant as she was the colonel’s daughter,” said Patrick and he helped her into the buggy saying that he would see her at home shortly.
Mark came around the next day to say goodbye and say that he would see her again in a couple of months when there should be another young Kelly in the household by then. “Can you tell me anything about Felicity? I believe she has lost her husband. He was a friend of yours, I understand.”
“He still is Mark. There are many ways you can interpret losing a husband. It’s obvious that they are no longer together,” said Liza.
“Oh, I thought she meant that he had died. I must have misunderstood. That’s disappointing,” said Mark.
“I hope you don’t mean that you are disappointe
d that Edward is alive,” smiled Liza, trying to make light of the situation. “Tell me about what you will be doing at Clarkson. I hear that it’s going to be good for your career so I suppose you’ll be coming back on an equal footing with Patrick and Sean. They’ll have to look to their laurels when you return.”
Mark carried on telling her about what his new duties would be. He had been at Clarkson some time ago so he knew some of the people there, so it was not totally new to him, but he really preferred to be in Benson especially now that the colonel’s daughter was here and he hoped that she still would be when he returned.
“She’s still married, Mark,” said Liza.
“Yes, that’s true, but it’s obviously no longer a proper marriage. Anyway, I’ll worry about that if she’s still here when I get back. Well, Liza, I’ll say goodbye now and wish you well and look forward to seeing the new Kelly when I return,” said Mark, and he was gone, leaving Liza shaking her head and hoping that Felicity may take it into her head to leave Benson whilst he was away.
Chapter 10
April and Matthew’s sixth birthday came and went, followed by John’s seventh in May as well as Liza’s thirty-first at the end of May and the due time for the arrival of Liza’s baby came and went. Dr Tom was getting increasingly concerned and consulted with Dr Steele on more than one occasion.
The colonel arranged that Patrick’s duties kept him around the fort rather than on any patrols. Liza was continuing to tutor Ellen and she had already eased Rachel into school. Every day the boys came home from school expecting to find that they had a new brother or sister. Zelma only left the house to go to the general store for any food that they may need. Kathy called each day and Ada and Bea kept in touch regularly.
Dr Tom started querying whether Liza had her dates correct, although he really knew that there was little doubt. Then at lunchtime, on the last day of May, the pains started. Dr Tom had left and Zelma was preparing a light lunch for Liza. Fear overwhelmed Liza, for much as she appeared unconcerned, she knew that what was about to happen to her threatened her life and although there had been times when she would have liked to have left this world, now she had everything to live for. She sat in her rocking chair and willed herself to calm down which she finally managed.
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