“Don’t you want me to try to look after you Liza? You know I have been so concerned about your nightmares. You may not realise it but you are having them every night. Unfortunately it would appear that I am to blame for many of them. Dr Tom feels that you are reliving your time with the Cherokees because of some recent trauma, he thought that it was what the general was trying to do to you, but I know that it was because of the way I treated you a little while ago,” said Patrick.
“I don’t think so, Patrick. I think that the whole of this year has been difficult for both of us, and I just have nightmares now; they’ll become less as time goes by,” said Liza.
“Liza, when I had treated you so badly, on that second night I found you crouching in the corner of the room. In the past I have been there to take you back to bed and comfort you, but that time you were cowering in that corner all night with no one to help take your fear away. I have always done that for you in the past and not only did I hurt you but I let you down when you were at your most vulnerable. I truly believe that is why you are going through having those nightmares again. If you are to have any nightmares, they should be totally for our little daughter and nothing to do with your past and I really do blame myself for that,” said Patrick.
She was quiet as she remembered that night. She had been frightened and couldn’t get herself back to where she wanted to be. The memory of other nightmares began crowding in on her and she suddenly felt so very sad. It all became just too much for her and her eyes filled with tears which ran down her cheeks. To start with she cried silently and then sobs came from her throat. Finally she was crying loudly and trying to smother the sound she was making by burying her face in Patrick’s chest. She was crying for her little girl lying in a cold grave and she was crying for herself and Patrick as they had both so wanted her to live, and for a while she couldn’t bear visualising little Meg left alone in the churchyard without her mother to look after her. But she was dead and there was nothing that she could do to help her now, no matter how much she wanted to.
It was a long while before Liza’s tears started easing and it was only then that she realised that she wasn’t the only one crying; Patrick’s tears were falling but he was making no noise.
Patrick held Liza for some time and finally they both regained some form of composure. Liza felt exhausted and said that she was going to make her way up to bed but Patrick told her that she wasn’t going without taking the powder that Dr Tom had left for her.
“But I feel really tired, so I don’t need anything to make me sleep,” said Liza.
“You know it’s not to make you sleep, it’s to make your nightmares go away and I think we would all like that to happen,” said Patrick and Liza nodded and mixed up the potion and drank it down pulling a face as she did so.
“I’ve been upsetting the boys, haven’t I?” asked Liza.
“You have woken them a few times and on one occasion they believed that our little Meg was buried alive, which really unsettled them. But they know that it isn’t the case and that you were just having a very bad dream. I’ve managed to keep them calm whenever you call out and they are getting used to you rambling and don’t understand what you are saying,” said Patrick.
“You’ve had very disturbed nights then, Patrick. How have you managed to keep working efficiently? You were right to see Tom and let’s hope that I’ll sleep through the night without disturbing anybody tonight,” said Liza.
She sat in her rocking chair just for a minute before going to bed and felt very cosy and then a feeling of drowsiness came over her, but she felt so comfortable, she didn’t want to get ready for bed; it was too much of an effort.
“Come on Liza, I’ll give you a hand to go to bed, you look so tired I’ll help you get undressed,” said Patrick realising that Toms sedative was more than just a powder to take away her nightmares, it was definitely a sleeping draft.
For a minute Liza looked around to pick up little Meg’s cradle and then remembered, but she felt so tired that it wasn’t as upsetting for her as it usually had been.
Patrick smiled as he led her up the stairs and then started helping her into her nightclothes, but with the way she was acting, all he was going to be able to do that night was hold her and keep her close to him. If she managed to get a night without nightmares then he would be pleased and maybe he would be able to get a full night’s sleep at last.
At lunchtime the next day Patrick was sitting quietly in their bedroom watching over Liza when she finally woke up. He had been up since dawn and went to work once Zelma had arrived. She got breakfast for the boys and they went to school creeping silently out of the house so that they didn’t wake Liza. Patrick returned from the fort at lunchtime and was surprised that Liza was still asleep and decided to sit and watch her as he had done so many years ago.
She moved several times as he watched and then finally, her eyes opened and she looked directly at him and smiled the most wonderful of smiles. “I thought for a minute that I had gone back in time,” she said.
“That would be nice, wouldn’t it? To recapture the first time we went to bed together, but there’s no need, you excite me just as much now as you did then. You have slept so well, Liza and I don’t believe you’ve had any nightmares and I also don’t believe Tom’s potion was just to stop the nightmares, it was to give you a good night’s sleep and that seems to have worked,” said Patrick smiling.
“I must get up,” said Liza. “Are you home for the day now?”
“No, I’m afraid I must go back, we have two new lieutenants arriving in the next couple of days and Ben and I must sort out their duties and Sean is moving from his quarters to a single one so that they can have his room,” said Patrick.
“Two new ones, eh? That will be interesting. Have you given up on the search for Mark?” asked Liza.
“No, we haven’t. Your friendly scout has returned and when the new lieutenants are here and we have settled them in, Sean and I will be going with the scout to try to read some of the signs just in case we have missed something,” said Patrick. “I shouldn’t be away too long and I’ll be back well before Christmas, possibly by next week.”
“I shall so miss you, Patrick. You were away this time last year. I hope we don’t get early snow as it would hide any signs that may be there,” said Liza having great confidence in the scout not allowing any signs to be found going in the right direction. As he was back, it meant that Mark was now safely in New York.
Liza was dressed and smiling when the boys came in from school and she spent a great deal of time with them, which they needed from her. Zelma could see that she looked so much better and when Patrick came back home he could see that she was just about back to the old Liza. Whether she truly felt better nobody would ever know, but everyone was pleased to at last see a smile on her face.
That night Liza’s nightmares stayed away once more and everyone had a peaceful sleep. During the day the coach arrived with the two new lieutenants on it and Patrick was there to meet them and escort them to the army post. They were introduced to the colonel and Captain Graves and then put in the capable hands of Ben to make sure they were settled into their quarters.
Patrick remembered how it was when he and Sean had arrived but they had not been as nervous as these two were, mainly because they were so much younger than he had been. He guessed that they were maybe twenty-one or twenty-two whereas he and Sean had been nearly thirty when they arrived and had been on many missions and been in many battles before coming to Benson.
“Have the new men arrived?” asked Liza when Patrick got home. “I saw the stage come into town and thought I saw two uniforms in the windows.”
“Yes, they’re here and they are so very young. I suppose Sean and I were like that at one time, long before we came to Benson,” said Patrick. “They appear very nervous, but of course this is their first assignment and everyone around them must seem so confident to them.”
“No doubt Ben and Brigeta will make the
m welcome and hopefully ensure that they have somewhere to go for Christmas,” said Liza.
“That’s unlike you Liza. You are normally the one who makes sure new people are included in all the Christmas festivities,” said Patrick.
“I don’t want to get close to anyone new anymore. It only creates a problem when they leave or they do something wrong,” said Liza.
“I can understand that, but these are young lads and they aren’t going to be comfortable if Ada feels obliged to invite them to lunch; or Bea for that matter. You know that Ben and Brigeta spend their Christmas with the Dornbergs.”
“We won’t have the room for them, Patrick and you can’t expect Kathy to keep adding to her list of lunchtime diners,” said Liza adamantly.
“Well, you’ll have to think of something as I’m not going to allow them to be by themselves, eating what somebody in the kitchens believes to be a Christmas lunch,” said Patrick. “Sean and I did that for too many years before coming to Benson. I will never forget that first Christmas here, when Danny insisted on sitting next to you to claim your attention and I had the benefit of sitting opposite you and being able to look at you all the time. Those two lads can’t be left to their own devices on Christmas Day.”
“All right, Patrick, I will think of something. Hmmm, I wonder if we could use the school,” said Liza.
“See, you’re already thinking of something. I knew you would,” said Patrick.
“I’ll go and see Kathy tomorrow and see what her suggestions are. I know she likes a full house for Christmas but we’ll be looking at possibly fourteen people at the minimum and if we include Tom and his family, that will be nineteen, and then I might have to look at Laurie, which would include Corporal Shaw, so that would be twenty-one. I don’t know whether we could cope with that. Perhaps it would be better if we all just had lunch ourselves and I would include the two lieutenants. Of course, I would have to include Kathy and Joe and Angela and George and Gabriel and Si. So thinking about that, I suppose it’s back to plan one and the school house,” Liza was rambling whilst she thought about it and Patrick was laughing at her.
“I knew you’d come up with a plan. I’ll be bringing them into town some time tomorrow to show them around. Will you be at home later so that I can introduce them to you?” said Patrick.
“At some time, but I must first see Kathy and find out what she thinks about how we plan Christmas lunch. I’ll be back some time after lunch, and yes, I’d like to meet them. I suppose I was just being silly earlier,” said Liza.
“No, I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way, but these are new people to Benson and they deserve to be invited to be included in the town and the army post, so that’s what we must do,” said Patrick and Liza nodded.
“What are their names? It would be polite to know who I was talking to, although I know you’d introduce them, but it would be best to know beforehand,” said Liza.
“Lieutenant Paul Southern and Lieutenant Rufus Denton,” said Patrick.
“I should be able to remember those,” said Liza yawning. “I’m feeling a little tired. Would you like to take me to bed Patrick?”
He looked at her and could see the sparkle in her eyes. “Ah, my Liza’s back with me. Yes, I’d like to take you to bed.”
“I’ve never been away from you, Patrick,” said Liza somewhat puzzled.
“Yes, you have Liza but you’ve had so much to contend with that it’s not surprising. You’ve just been a bit preoccupied,” said Patrick and he swept her off her feet and carried her up to their bedroom and put her on the bed.
He carried on, “I’m going down to lock the doors and blow out the flames and make sure everything is in order downstairs, but when I get back, I expect you to be naked and waiting for me in bed. If you haven’t managed to get all your clothes off by the time I get back, you know what I’m going to do, don’t you Liza?”
“Yes Patrick, you’re going to rip off what I have left on me, so I’d better hurry and get everything off as I like my clothes,” giggled Liza as she started pulling at her dress before Patrick had left the bedroom.
She did manage to undress before Patrick came back and he looked most disappointed as he came into the room. “I thought you might leave me something to pull off you.” And Liza pulled back the bedclothes and showed him that she still had her shift on.
“Ah,” he said as he quickly stripped and then turned and grabbed her shift and yanked it over her head. He climbed onto the bed and knelt over her with one leg either side of her and looking down he said, “We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight, my Liza, aren’t we?”
Liza nodded and laughed. They played with one another for hours that night until they finally slept in the early hours of the morning. When they awoke, they both had contented looks on their faces; they were a little tired but well-satisfied. Patrick had to get up relatively early even though it was a Saturday; he put on his nightshirt and handed Liza hers which she also put on. Patrick was stretching in the middle of the room and Liza rubbed herself up against him. He picked her up and she put her arms around his neck as she held onto him. He swung her around and at the same time, they heard a knock on the door. As they both now had their nightclothes on there was no reason not to answer the door to whoever was standing outside.
“Come in,” said Patrick who was still holding Liza in his arms, a place that she didn’t want to leave. The door opened and for a second nobody appeared and then two heads looked around the door and two sets of eyes stared at them.
“What are you doing with Mummy?” asked Matthew. “Has she fallen out of bed?”
“No, he’s just cuddling her; he’ll probably kiss her now, Yuck!” said John.
“Oh, yeh, Yuck,” echoed Matthew.
Patrick looked at the boys and then at Liza; he smiled and then gave Liza a huge kiss on the mouth.
“I told you,” said John, “Oh yuck.” And they both disappeared and could be heard going down the stairs muttering to one another.
“Well, we now know how to get some privacy,” laughed Patrick who was still cradling Liza in his arms. “I would really like to take you back to bed now, but I’ve got to get to work and no doubt you’ve got things to do with the boys today. We did have a good night though, didn’t we, my Liza?”
“A wonderful night, my Patrick and we could have another one like that tonight,” whispered Liza.
“Maybe, if I have the energy,” said Patrick.
“Bea and Ada haven’t seen the boys much recently and they’ve invited them round for tea this afternoon, as well as Si and Rachel is one of the gang so they should all have a good time. Gabriel will be dropping them off and he’ll collect them later, so I’ll be free to meet your lieutenants this afternoon. I must see Kathy this morning but I probably won’t go until later. I feel the need to relax a little this morning,” said Liza.
Patrick went to the fort and Liza got ready for the day. The boys kept changing their minds over what they were going to take with them to Bea’s. With them finally sorted, Gabriel came to collect them and much later than she had anticipated, Liza went to see Kathy. She could see the merit in using somewhere such as the school to accommodate everyone for Christmas lunch, there would be one or two difficulties such as keeping all the vegetables hot, but nothing that was insurmountable and they could sort out all the details later. First, Liza had to ask Angela if she would mind them using the school room for such an activity, although both Liza and Kathy didn’t really think that she would have any objection.
“They have quite a large fireplace in that room, don’t they Liza,” said Kathy.
“Yes they do, why?” asked Liza.
“Because we could put a metal grill over that and it would keep all the food warm,” said Kathy.
It was going to be left to Liza to invite everyone once she had got permission from Angela to use the school room. Liza left the general store and began to head homewards when she was called by Mrs Henshaw, who she hadn’t seen for so
me time and wanted to tell Liza how Dr Bridges was faring. She turned and waited for Mrs Henshaw to draw near; she hadn’t noticed that Patrick was on the other side of the street with the two lieutenants. He caught sight of her just as he had done the first time he saw her when he was with Sean and Ben. There were so many things reminding him of his original time with Liza. He thought how pretty and bright she looked today.
“Who on earth is that?” asked Lieutenant Southern. “I’d really like to meet her.”
“I think she could be a little old for you, Lieutenant,” said Patrick with a smile. He quite liked his wife being admired.
“Really, she doesn’t look it,” said Lieutenant Denton.
“That wouldn’t worry me,” said Lieutenant Southern. “Will you introduce us please, Lieutenant?”
“Yes, I will do that later on, Lieutenant, but first I want to show you around the town. Don’t worry, you won’t miss out on meeting her, I promise you that,” said Patrick with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his lips.
Having finished speaking to Mrs Henshaw, Liza made her way home. Zelma was sitting with her feet up in one of the rocking chairs.
“I think Patrick should soon be here with the new lieutenants,” said Liza.
“Yes, I’ve got some soup and bread ready should they need something to eat,” said Zelma. “I also got one of Kathy’s apple pies for afters if they are still hungry.”
It wasn’t long before they heard Patrick arrive with his two charges. Liza, being oblivious to the discussion that had taken place in the street between the lieutenants, was rather bemused by how embarrassed they both seemed when Patrick introduced them to her. However, Liza, being the perfect hostess, soon put them both at ease and they were soon chatting like old friends and enjoying their soup and asking for seconds. They didn’t hold back when the apple pie was served.
When Liza and Zelma were clearing the dishes into the kitchen, Lieutenant Southern said, “I’m so sorry, Lieutenant; obviously we didn’t know that she was your wife otherwise we wouldn’t have said what we did.”
Against All Odds Page 74