by Abby Green
She said, ‘I know Sasha was...a difficult person. More than anyone. But I did love her. I owed her a lot...’
Apollo frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’
She looked at him. ‘When I was eight, I contracted leukaemia. I needed a bone-marrow transplant. Because we were identical twins, Sasha’s bone marrow matched mine so she was asked to donate her marrow.’
Apollo said nothing so she went on, ‘She had no choice really, and she never forgave me for having to go through the painful donor procedure without the benefit of actually being sick and getting the attention. I think, unconsciously, I spent my life making it up to her.’
Sophy had never really analysed that before now but something clicked into place inside her as if finally she was acknowledging the role she’d given her sister out of a misplaced sense of guilt.
Apollo said, ‘That must have been traumatic. The illness.’
Sophy made a face. ‘A lot of it has faded with time. In a way, Sasha’s constant demand for attention helped to distract from the memories...
‘She was never content with what she had. She lied about our parents to people, friends in school. They were too boring for her. Our father was a postman and our mother was a part-time secretary for the local doctor’s office. We had a perfectly happy home life, albeit modest. The worst thing that happened was that they both died within a year of each other, when we’d just left school. My father had a heart attack and then my mother contracted breast cancer.
‘After they died, Sasha wanted to move up to London to make her mark. She’d never been happy in our little town. I went with her because the truth is I felt lost without her. She’d been the dominant one for so long.’
Sophy looked away from Apollo as she admitted that. She’d let Sasha dominate her, a dynamic they’d played out since they were children, exacerbated by her illness.
Apollo asked, ‘Why is your name different from hers if you’re sisters? Her name is Miller on her passport and papers.’
Sophy forced herself to look at him again. He was frowning. ‘Sasha took our mother’s maiden name, changed it legally—she thought it sounded more interesting than Jones. She did it when she was going through a phase of wanting to be an actress.’
Apollo paced away and back, and then stood at the window for a moment with his back to Sophy. It all made sense in a sick kind of way. He’d met Sasha. He could attest to her ruthless deviousness. If anything, he suspected that Sophy hadn’t really acknowledged half of what her sister had been capable of. The woman had tried to seduce him so she could try and get pregnant for real.
Her childhood illness... It tugged on him deep inside. Imagining a small girl with huge blue eyes and light red hair losing that hair because of chemotherapy. Being subjected to all manner of invasive procedures.
To counteract the sense of sympathy he felt, Apollo turned around again. Sophy’s chin was tipped up, as if she was mentally preparing for the next onslaught. He pushed down the surge of something more than sympathy. He needed to know.
‘That night in London. Why did you pretend to be your sister?’
Sophy’s insides clenched with guilt. ‘Because I wasn’t meant to be there. I work—worked—as a receptionist in a solicitor’s office. Sasha asked me to cover for her. She was double-jobbing at another event. It wasn’t unheard of for me to cover for her like that. I didn’t tell you my real name afterwards because I was afraid she’d get into trouble and lose her job with the event company.’
He frowned. ‘Why didn’t you tell me the following night when I took you for dinner? When we slept together?’
How could she explain how overwhelming it had been for a man like Apollo to show interest in her? Mousy Sophy. She lifted a hand and let it drop. ‘I should have told you...but I couldn’t believe that you wanted me. Sasha was the one who was confident. Glamorous. Not me.’
She shrugged minutely. ‘Somehow it felt more appropriate to be her...not me.’
She winced inwardly, knowing how ridiculous that sounded. Apollo shook his head. ‘I wanted you, not your sister. I think we’ve established that pretty comprehensively.’
A wave of heat, uncontrollable, moved up inside Sophy’s body. She clamped down on her response, terrified he’d see the effect of his words. His gaze was too direct, too incisive. She felt as if she was being sliced open and all her vulnerabilities and frailties being laid bare for inspection.
She put her arms around herself and walked over to the window again, staring out unseeingly. Maybe if she didn’t look at him as she tried to explain, it would be easier?
‘The truth is that I felt out of my depth with you. Really out of my depth. You were suave and cultured. Way out of my league. Sasha was more experienced than me—’
Apollo cut in, ‘You mean she wasn’t a virgin? Unlike you.’
Sophy’s face burned at that reminder. Her arms were so tight around herself now she was in danger of cutting off her air supply. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’
‘Well, I did.’
Yes, he had.
And Sophy could now remember his reaction in full glorious Technicolor. She remembered being so caught up in the moment that when he’d thrust into her and it had hurt, she’d tensed all over.
He’d looked down at her. ‘Sasha? Are you—?’
Terrified he’d stop, she’d put her hands on his buttocks and said, ‘Please, don’t stop.’
For a torturous moment he hadn’t moved. She’d felt impaled, stunned at the feeling of being so invaded, but then he’d started to move and the pressure and pain had eased.
What had followed had been nothing short of life-changing. Earth-shattering. She’d still been lying in a sated stupor when she’d felt him leave the bed and heard the shower come on in his bathroom.
A few minutes later, he’d emerged with a towel around his lean hips, his face rigid with anger.
‘What the hell? You were a virgin.’
Sophy had reached for the sheet to cover herself, suddenly feeling very small and exposed. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’
He’d emitted a curt, unamused laugh. ‘Notice? How could I not? Why didn’t you tell me?’
He’d spoken before she could formulate a response. ‘I seduced you because I thought you were experienced...that you knew.’
‘Knew what?’
He’d run a hand through his damp hair, muscles rippling, making Sophy’s tender inner muscles clench again in reaction.
‘Knew how these things go. Knew not to expect anything more.’
‘More than what?’ She’d known she’d sounded like a parrot but had been unable to stop herself.
‘More than one night.’ He’d folded his arms. ‘I don’t sleep with virgins, Sasha. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have touched you.’
The thought that she might not have made love with this man had been a physical pain. ‘But...why?’
A scarily blank expression had come over his face. He was like a statue. ‘Because virgins are innocent and have expectations. The kind of expectations I can’t, and don’t want to, meet.’
‘What do you mean?’
He’d emitted something that had sounded like a curse and his green eyes had narrowed on her face. ‘Can you deny that you’d thought this was something more? That this wasn’t just about sex?’
Mortified heat had flooded up her body and into her face. She had thought there was something between them. Romantic. Unique.
He’d seen it instantly. ‘That’s what I’m talking about. An expectation of something more. I don’t do relationships, Sasha. I have no desire for a girlfriend. I have short-term relationships with women who know better than to attach emotion to the proceedings. This is just sex for me.’
She’d winced at that.
He’d said icily, ‘This ends here now. Take a shower and get dressed. When
you’re ready I’ll have my driver take you home.’
Sophy’s focus came back to the present. It wasn’t much comfort that she had more context now for why Apollo would have found seducing a virgin so unappealing. He was averse to relationships after losing his family. And she knew what that loss felt like. Ironic that they had so much in common.
She turned to face him, steeling herself not to show him how the memory of that night flayed her.
Apollo tried to resist the image of intense vulnerability Sophy displayed when she faced him again. Arms wrapped around herself. Her cheeks had two bright pink spots but the rest of her face was pale.
It didn’t help that images of that first night they’d spent together kept intruding on his thoughts. The way her hair had spread out around her head like a halo of fire.
Little flame.
He gritted his jaw and bit out, ‘We really don’t have to continue this now if you’re not up to it.’
She looked at him. ‘No, I want to do this now. Maybe I will have a small drink, though.’
Apollo went over and poured her a measure of brandy. He brought it over and said gruffly, ‘Sit down, before you fall down.’
She sat down again in the chair and he handed her the drink. He let her take a sip, and sat back on the edge of his desk. ‘Were you and your sister in on the act together? Was she sent to me a month later because you didn’t have the nerve?’
Sophy sat up straighter, a look of shock and horror crossing her face. ‘That’s... No, it wasn’t like that. I had no idea.’
Apollo forced himself to resist trusting his first impression of her innocence. ‘You weren’t working together?’
‘Not at all. How can you think that?’
‘How did she end up in my office then? Telling me she was pregnant, if you weren’t working together? How did she know if you hadn’t told her?’
He saw the slim pale column of her throat work as she swallowed. She avoided his eye, as if ashamed. ‘Sasha and I lived together. She knew something had happened...she eventually got me to confide in her. I told her your name. I know Sasha had her faults, but I never in a million years thought that she would use that private information. She looked you up, kept going on about how I should contact you, try to go out with you again...but I wouldn’t.’
She looked at him again. ‘After all, you’d left me in no doubt as to how you felt about seeing me again.’
His conscience smarted. Yes, he’d told her that but he also hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind in the following days, weeks. Making a total mockery of his words to her.
Sophy continued, ‘It was around the time of our birthday and Sasha said she was concerned about me, so she bought me a return flight to one of the Canary Islands for a holiday. I didn’t want to go but she insisted.’
Apollo said. ‘Go on.’
‘By the time I got back she was gone. She’d left a note saying something about securing our future. Then I saw it in the papers. Your marriage.’
Apollo remembered the feeling of claustrophobia that day. ‘If you weren’t working together, when you heard about the marriage, why didn’t you contact me to tell me who she was, who you were? That she was tricking me?’
Sophy looked sheepish. ‘I didn’t know about the pregnancy. It wasn’t inconceivable to me that you’d met Sasha and had been more attracted to her. That you’d wanted something more with her.’
Apollo felt a surge of anger mixed with frustration rise up inside him. Before he could say anything Sophy cut in, ‘I know it sounds pathetic. But in a weird way it made sense. I’d been innocent and you hadn’t wanted to see me again. Sasha was experienced...the experienced version of me. I felt like you’d seen something in her that I hadn’t been able to give you, and that had made you fall for her. I know how convincing Sasha could be.’
Apollo grimaced at that. The fact that he’d fallen for her act negated his anger a little. Sasha had managed to dupe them both.
He stood up again, paced back and forth. ‘Why did you come to Athens?’
Sophy fought not to squirm under that exacting gaze. ‘Sasha rang me, she was hysterical. Incoherent. It must have been when you found out she wasn’t pregnant. When you’d shown her the divorce papers. She begged me to come as soon as I could... I arrived the next morning.’
She went on. ‘I couldn’t even understand half of what she was saying when she picked me up at the airport. She was gabbling about you not wanting her, and that I needed to go and pretend to be her so I could seduce you...’
Apollo went very still. ‘She was hoping that if you switched places, I’d suddenly want you and in spite of everything sleep with you and get you pregnant?’
Sophy avoided his eye. ‘Something like that, I think.’
Apollo cursed. And then he said, ‘The truth is that she wasn’t that far off the mark. As soon as I saw you again I wanted you.’
Sophy’s face got hot again. She risked a glance at Apollo, who looked grim. He might be admitting he hadn’t stopped wanting her but it didn’t feel like a compliment. More an accusation.
‘And if this crazy plan of hers had worked and you’d managed to seduce me and get pregnant, then what?’
Sophy felt sick. ‘I don’t know. I don’t think she’d thought it through... I certainly had no idea what she’d planned. It sounded like gibberish to me.’
Apollo hated to admit that if Sophy had returned to the villa in Athens in the place of Sasha, and he’d wanted her as much as he wanted her now, she could very well have seduced him.
It was a bitter pill to swallow. He wanted her now. He was acutely aware of the buttons on the shirt-dress—how easily they would come undone, baring her to his eyes and touch.
No make-up. No adornment but her exceptional natural beauty. How could she have ever thought she was less attractive than her sister? The minute Sasha had turned up in his office in London he’d had an adverse reaction to her. Much to his relief.
At first you were disappointed.
He ignored that unwelcome reminder.
Sophy looked at him and he noticed the shadows under her eyes. He felt wrung out. He could only imagine how she felt.
‘What happens now? I expect you want me to leave as soon as possible.’
Apollo couldn’t stem the visceral rejection he had to that suggestion. He told himself it was incredulity that she could think she could walk away so easily, not the pulsing ever-present desire in his blood.
He shook his head. ‘I’m afraid that’s not possible.’
Sophy hated the little jump in her pulse when he said that. He must despise her after everything. She wasn’t even sure if he believed her. ‘Why?’
‘For one thing, we have a situation on our hands. Obviously we won’t need to divorce now. But I’ve been seen out in public with a woman who is not my wife. A wife who has been deceased for some weeks.’
‘We’ll have to announce the accident and her death and the press attention will be intense. You’ll be hounded when they find out she had a twin sister and that you were also in the car, but we can try to delay that until her death has been announced and the press moves on to the next story.’
Sophy frowned. ‘How can you do that?’
‘By taking you back to the island for a couple of weeks when the news is announced tomorrow. It’ll keep you insulated from the press and it’ll take about that long to process the repatriation of your sister’s body. By then, the press should have moved on. Also, it’ll give the authorities time to return your personal items.’
CHAPTER NINE
AND THEN WHAT? That was the question that had been reverberating around Sophy’s head for the past twenty-four hours since they’d landed back on Krisakis. Olympia had shown her back into her bedroom, separate from Apollo’s. Sophy chastised herself. What had she expected? For them to blithely continue where they’
d left off before her memory had returned?
Yes.
Her conscience stung. How could she be so selfish when her sister was dead?
Because it was your sister who was selfish in the first place, betraying your trust, going behind your back to try and seduce Apollo to further her own ends. Lying to trap him.
Sophy sighed deeply and hugged her knees tighter to her body. Yes, she could blame Sasha for so much, but also it had been her who had set this chain of events in motion by not revealing her true self because it had been easier to hide behind her sister, rather than believe that someone like Apollo could possibly be interested in her.
The waves lapped up gently onto the shore near her feet. It was soothing. It was also very quiet here on the beach in the late afternoon. The heat was less intense now.
Since they’d arrived on the island, Apollo had been busy, either in his study in the villa or when he went to visit the construction site. They hadn’t talked about anything since that last conversation.
Sophy knew she should be feeling some sort of cathartic weight lift off her shoulders, with her memory returned and full knowledge of what had happened, no matter how painful it was to face.
But she felt more tangled up than ever. Aware that her feelings for Apollo ran far deeper than she liked to admit. And she hated the sense that she was now a burden for him to deal with until the press attention died down.
Because surely he was just waiting for the earliest opportunity to let her go? Get on with his life? Say good riddance to her, and Sasha.
He couldn’t want her any more. Surely his desire was well and truly eclipsed by disgust for what her sister, and she, however unwittingly, had done to him?
Sophy shut down her circling thoughts. Torturing herself like this was getting her nowhere. Apollo was keeping her here to protect himself as much as her from the adverse press attention.
The water was lapping at her feet now, refreshingly cool. She was about to move back but she was too slow as another wave on the incoming tide rushed in faster, soaking her bottom. She jumped up with a little squeal.