by Lux Miller
I roll my eyes at him as he whines about me scolding him to stay in bed. This time, I caught him trying to choke the chicken in the shower. He was specifically ordered to take the absolute shortest showers necessary, and the way that man is hung, jerking off is not something he does quickly. He’s still complaining that I made him stop halfway through and get back to bed.
“You could have let me finish.”
Shaking my eyes, I wag my finger at him like a nagging ninny, “And you never should have started. You said you wanted to get a quick shower, and Franco said that would be okay. He did not say you could stand under the hottest water known to man and yank on your dick for fifteen minutes…”
He actually has the audacity to let a tinge of scarlet creep up into his cheeks. I nod and smirk at him. “Good, now that we’re on the same page… I need you to at least attempt to look sexy and not like a petulant child who had his favorite toy taken away…”
“I’ve never had to pretend to be sexy, Emily. I just am.”
I roll my eyes at him and scoff, “Modest too.”
Luca sticks his tongue out at me, “If the shoe fits.”
I stick mine right back out at him and laugh, “Considering yours probably cost a month’s salary, I doubt you’d even let anyone try them on, so you win.
“Just relax… quit trying to give me bedroom eyes because you and I both know you’re not getting any action until Franco clears you. It’s not like it’s gonna grow cobwebs in there. You think I’m not keeping up the gardening in your absence?”
Luca groans, “It’s official. You’re trying to kill me. You’re being a vixen on purpose and dangling forbidden fruit in front of my face and then chastising me for wanting a bite.”
I just laugh and shake my head. “I’m not trying to kill you, but I will if you don’t be still, damnit. You want to have a lazy eye when I’m done? No? Then quit moving!”
Luca scrunches his nose up like a rabbit as he leans back against the mountain of pillows I fluffed for him while he was being naughty in the shower. “There… happy?”
I peek around the canvas where I’ve been working on and off for the last several days to capture Luca’s essence in a painting. It’s given both of us something to do in the long hours of the day. I nod quickly and motion aimlessly with one hand. “It’ll do. I can make you look like you actually give a shit later.”
Luca looks momentarily stricken. He opens his mouth to argue, but I hold my hand up to him and shake my head, “Don’t, Luca… I know this sucks for you, okay? I’m just trying to make the best out of a shitty hand that we got dealt. I know you’re bored and itching to get back to work.”
Luca lowers his voice to an almost menacing level, “Emily, I’m not bored. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, I am enjoying spending time with you, but with me out of commission, who’s running my routes?”
I look away before Luca can see the evidence scrawled all over my face. He must catch the guilty expression anyway, because he sits up way faster than he should have, wincing as his hand flies to the barely scabbed-over cut. “You’re fucking with me… he did not send Dante on my route again…”
Ignoring his question like I didn’t hear him, I pull the paintbrush from over my ear and set to work on the painting that’s halfway finished, pretending that he’s not sitting on the bed staring at me with his mouth agape.
“Emily… your silence speaks volumes. If he sent Dante out, I’ll kill him…”
Rolling my eyes, I point at him. “You will stay put in that bed unless you want to rip that thing open again. I’m not stitching you up again and if your guts fall out, so be it…”
Luca pauses and narrows his eyes at me. I can see on his face that he’s trying to figure out if I’m bullshitting him or not.
I sigh, “He didn’t send Dante out, Luca. Dante’s due for surgery tomorrow to hopefully fix his wrist. For all intents and purposes, the kingdom of Barresi is running out of able-bodied knights to protect the castle. Do you know what happens when there are no longer any knights to send?”
Luca’s face blanches, and he shakes his head quickly. “No. Please tell me he didn’t…”
I shrug and reply in an even tone, “Luca… when the kingdom is threatened, the King must protect it at all costs, up to and including his own life.”
Luca winces as he shakes his head vehemently. “He’s out of touch. Both with the criminal world and with reality. Emily, what do you know that you’re not telling me? I know you stood up to him…”
I laugh softly and shake my head, “I don’t know anything more than you do. Well, except that he’s running the routes himself. But now you know that too. I did hear by snooping that he checked the scene where you were attacked. Or what’s left of it anyway. The Cleaner, whoever that may be, recovered one of your guns and the knife they believed was used to attack you. They torched the place… funny thing is — they said your gun had been fired. Multiple times, in fact, but there didn’t appear to be any evidence of a struggle and they didn’t find a body…you didn’t mention defending yourself.”
Luca clears his throat. His eyes are wide as he stares at me incredulously. I bob my shoulder and ask nervously, “What?”
He runs a hand through his hair as he watches me silently. I know I have paint on my nose. I always end up with paint on my nose when I create artwork. Right now, though, his eyes are boring into me like he can’t believe what I just said. He stares at me for what feels like an eternity.
Finally, his voice quiet and even, he asks, “You snooped a meeting?”
I shake my head vehemently. “Never. I still avoid that room at all costs. I would never dare set foot in there, or even get close to it for that matter. Dante’s not subtle or particularly quiet when he discusses things with Mike. I suspect that he’s more than just a confidante for both of you, though you’ll never admit it. I get the feeling he’s a bit of a surrogate dad for you…”
Luca makes an indignant noise that confirms my suspicions. I nod as I continue to paint, then sigh as I realize he’s still watching me. Sighing, I ask softly, “Would you rather I be ignorant of what being a part of this really entails? I know what your family is doing and yet, here I am… your profession hasn’t sent me packing yet, and I know more than you ever wanted me to know. Luca… you’re not the only one fighting against feelings that you know you shouldn’t be harboring.”
I put the finishing touches on the part of the painting I’m working on and walk over to the side of the bed. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap one arm possessively around me and tug me against the side of the bed. “I don’t want this to be my room anymore, Emily… I want it to be our room. I want you to move in here with me, for real. I want you in my bed just like you’re in my dreams, and I want you in my arms just like you’ve wormed your way into my heart.”
I gasp, but wiggle free of his grasp. I stare down at him and shake my head. “Luca, are you running a fever again? You’re starting to sound delirious like you did the night you got hurt…”
Luca chuckles, “Look, just know that I have some serious shit going on all up in here…” He motions to his chest with his hand. “I don’t know how to explain it yet. I don’t think I even understand it yet, but I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want you to look at another man the way you look at me. And I sure as hell don’t want any other man to look at you the way I do, but I’ve never done this…”
I turn to face him and the bed as I shake my head. “Luca, you’ve been with dozens, if not hundreds of women… experience is not what you’re lacking. Some tact maybe, but you know what you’re doing…”
Luca shakes his head as he pulls me onto the bed beside him. “That’s where you’re wrong, Emily. So very wrong. I’ve been with women physically… I’ve been content before, but you’re the first, the only woman I’ve ever craved here…”
He grabs my hand and places it over his chest, and my eyes flick to his quickly. He nods and sighs, “I know I was in something like a whacke
d out drunken stupor last time, but Emily… I do feel something crazy for you. I don’t know if it’s love, because I don’t know what love is.
“I know what lust feels like, and this isn’t it. I won’t lie. I do crave your body, but I crave more than that. I don’t want you physically if I can’t have you emotionally… you’ve broken me, Emily and I’m not sure I want to be fixed. I think I’m content with being pieces in your hands to put back as you see fit. Please don’t leave me, Emily.”
I gasp as his words shake me to the core. Seeing a man like Luca hash his feelings is unnerving to say the least. I nod and lean down over him, brushing my lips against his forehead. He closes his eyes as I do, and I take an unsteady breath. I trail my lips down the side of his face, over the prickly stubble on his jaw and down to his neck.
He groans and reaches up with one hand to grab hold of the side of my face with a grunt. “Emily… I may be laid up in bed, but I’m not dead...:”
I chuckle and pull away, blushing slightly. “Sorry. I just can’t seem to get enough of the way you taste. I never cared much for sex or foreplay or any of it, but then again, I guess I’ve never been with a man who gives two shits about me either…”
Luca nods and lets his hand drop off the side of my face. “I’ll never purposefully hurt you, Emily. You have to know that. But I’m not a good man. I’m far from it. I’m the monster under your bed, the boogeyman in the closet… I’m the vile thing that lurks in the shadows and destroys everything good and pure about this world.”
I sigh softly as I stand up off the bed, then lean over his body to place several small butterfly kisses along the cut. I right myself and walk back over to my canvas. I plop down behind it and try to ignore the raging hormones that are screaming at me to touch him in inappropriate ways. “Good thing I’m neither pure nor good…”
Luca brushes his hand slowly along the still-red line that cuts across his body. “I…”
Shaking my head, I waggle my paintbrush at him. “Don’t argue with me. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t make me inherently good. You think you know me, but you’ve no idea what I’m capable of, Luca. Maybe I don’t have blood on my hands like you do. I’ve never killed anyone, but I’m not saying I never would. To protect those I’m attached to, I just might. You think you’re this horrible person who doesn’t deserve to be cared for, but tell me this… have you ever woken up in the morning and decided, ‘Hmmm, today is a Tuesday. I think I’ll kill a man today’?”
Luca opens his mouth to answer, but I shake my head, pointing the paintbrush at him. “Don’t answer that. It was a rhetorical question. You and I both know that you haven’t. As badass as you are, and as bad as you think you are… you don’t kill for fun. I know you didn’t feel remorse when you killed Andre.
“But you didn’t enjoy it. It was a part of the job, and it had to be done. Sure, it was over money, but I doubt you would have let him live as long as he did if you’d known the truth. He was a horrible man. I wasn’t the only one, Luca… there were dozens of wide-eyed, innocent teenagers that he raped and sodomized and then loaned to his friends to do the same. And it wasn’t just little girls. He had his share of little boys too.
“New Orleans is a better place because you removed him from it. Sure, it was cold-blooded murder, but how many lives did you save in the process? Don’t forget that just because you’re alive, doesn’t mean you’re living. If you’d only seen the lives he destroyed…”
Luca’s face is furious as I spell out the details for him, but I keep cutting him off before he can speak. “Luca… who did you kill on the night you were attacked? And don’t tell me you didn’t… I saw it on your face. You had the same look on your face the night you killed Andre.
“You keep telling me I won’t accept who you really are, but here I am… accepting it. Just be honest with me. That’s all I ask. I can accept the dirty money, the extortion, the racketeering… I can even accept the killing if it’s justified and you’re not taking out innocents… so tell me, who did you kill?”
Luca sighs and lifts his eyes to meet mine. “The answer isn’t that simple, Emily. It may be best if you don’t know. I won’t lie to you about it. Yes, I killed a man that night. No, his body will never be found, just as Andre’s will never be found. The finer details don’t need to be known by anyone. Details are evidence that someone can use against me. And if you know, then someone can use you against me.”
I blink rapidly, his confirmation of killing someone rattling me, though it doesn’t surprise me as much as I thought it would. Inhaling sharply, I implore, “Did the man deserve it?”
Luca nods. “His crimes against humanity outweighed even Andre’s, so if you believe Andre’s death was justified, then yes.”
Chewing my bottom lip, I watch him as he watches me, but I don’t reveal my feelings regarding the matter. After several moments of silence, I nod then put my paintbrush back to the canvas to continue working. I can feel him watching me though, so after five minutes of feeling his gaze bore into me, I look up at him and huff, “I’m not judging you, okay?”
Luca closes his eyes as he shifts himself to a sitting position and stands up, walking over to me. I open my mouth to argue with him about being out of bed, but he shakes his head, “Emily, I’m like a wild beast. You can’t keep me caged forever. You can’t save me from myself, who I was born to be.”
I look up at him and watch his face with curiosity, “And what if I’m not trying to save you?”
Luca swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he leans down over me. I squeak slightly as he invades my personal space. His voice is low as he warns, “And what if I kill again? What if I’m ordered to kill someone?”
I don’t know why he’s asking, but I get the feeling that he’s purposely leaving out some details. “Would they be an innocent?”
Luca shakes his head as he brings his hand to my cheek, his thumb rubbing over my cheekbone. “Never. Even criminals have morals. Never has a Barresi called a hit on an innocent, and never will they as long as I live.”
I swallow as his lips edge closer to mine. His voice lowers as he breathes, “And could you fall in love with a man who rules the city with an iron fist and a handgun? A man like me?”
I shake my head quickly, and I see his eyes widen. Just as his lips are about to brush mine, he stops suddenly. I smile and close the distance, my lips claiming his in a chaste kiss. Mumbling against his mouth, I reply in almost a whisper, “No, I can’t fall in love with a man like you, Luca… because I already have…”
SEVEN
The sound that leaves Luca’s mouth is a mixture of a moan, a groan, and a loud whoosh of air that takes my breath away. He slides his hand into my hair and tightens it into a fist. Before I can protest, he’s wedged himself between my legs and his mouth is burning a line from my lips down to my collarbone.
“Luca, we can’t—you’re injured.”
Luca ignores me as he lets go of my hair and drops onto his knees between my thighs. He continues his trek down my body with his lips, pausing between my breasts. My heart is thudding so wildly in my chest that I’m certain he can feel it.
He glances up at me with a gleam in his eyes, and before I can stop him, he shifts his mouth over my right breast and clamps his mouth around my nipple. The thin fabric of my sleep shirt doesn’t deter him as he tightens his lips around the now puckered bud.
I clench my thighs as pleasure rolls through my body. My other nipple responds to him immediately, poking through the fabric. He smirks around the first as he laves his tongue around it, then bites down.
I yelp as he brings his other hand up and pinches the second one. He continues to suck on the first through my shirt and I can feel dampness beginning to soak into my panties. Digging deep, I finally managed to squeak, “Luca…”
It’s dirty and exhilarating and I know I should stop him, but I can’t bring myself to say the words. He looks up at me from my breast with a look on his face that dares me to try
to stop him. I know instantly, it’s a battle I’m going to lose, but it doesn’t mean I’m going down without a fight.
If Luca Barresi wants to play dirty, then I’m game for dirty. I put my hand to his forehead and push his face away from my chest. Looking down at my sleep shirt, I frown when I see the enormous wet spot from where he attached himself to me.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I whip the sleep shirt off over my head, and his eyes immediately drop to my naked breasts where both nipples stand at the ready, begging for attention. He groans as he licks his lips, but I keep my hand pressed against his forehead.
“If you feel pulling or tearing or pain in any way, we have to stop.”
Luca flicks his gaze at me, “I’m not stopping until you come on my face, around my dick and until you literally can’t take it anymore…”