by R J Nolan
Karen looked up, a sullen expression twisting her face. "Hey, Dr. Donovan."
"Hi," Kim said as she sat down at the table. She had been impressed with the resident earlier. Karen was bright and eager to learn. "How's it going?"
"Not so good," Karen said. Her scowl deepened.
Kim nodded sympathetically. "Want to talk about it?" Her first impulse was to try and help someone in turmoil.
Karen shook her head no.
Silence reigned for several minutes.
"It's not my fault she doesn't have a life and doesn't understand," Karen blurted out of the blue.
Confusion struck at the apparent non sequitur. "Who doesn't have a life or understand what?"
"Dr. McKenna," Karen said, her voice tinged with anger.
Oh crap! Kim did not want to get involved in anything between Jess and one of her residents. Not to mention the fact that it was also inappropriate for her to interfere. She sighed in resignation. No help for it now. She did not want to blow the resident off and leave. She decided her best option at this point would be to keep quiet and waited to see what if anything else Karen would say. It was a technique she had learned early in her own residency.
"Everyone says how she practically lives at the hospital. And she never talks about a girlfriend or anything from outside work. Maybe this job is her life, but I have a life outside this place. And a daughter and a husband who need me."
Kim's ears perked at the mention of a girlfriend. She was curious about Jess but this was not the way she had hoped to learn more about her. "Dr. McKenna has a lot of responsibility here. I'm sure that leads to very long hours for her."
Karen snorted. "I should've known you wouldn't understand."
Kim shook her head. "Actually I understand quite well. It's a lot of work to try and balance your professional life with your personal one, especially for a woman. A lot of people depend on you."
"I know that." Karen's shoulders slumped. "Okay, I admit I missed a few conferences, and was late a few times," she said. "But that's no reason to take my residency away."
Shock rendered Kim momentarily speechless. That seemed a bit drastic to her. Despite her best intentions not to get embroiled in this she asked, "Did Dr. McKenna actually say that? That she was going to terminate you?"
"Well... No. Not exactly," Karen admitted reluctantly. "She did say she was going to put me on probation... If I didn't do better." Karen banged her fist on the table. "It's not like I'm not trying. I'm not a screw-up!" Karen met Kim's eyes defiantly. That's when it seemed to dawn on Karen that she was talking out of school to someone she really didn't know. Her eyes went wide and fear chased across her face. "I really like it here. Dr. McKenna's a great teacher. I wouldn't want her to think I don't want to be here." Karen gazed at Kim with a pleading expression.
Kim laid her hand on Karen's forearm for a moment. "It can be hard adjusting to a new place and all the responsibilities of a residency."
"It is hard." Karen sighed. "But I guess I wasn't honest before. I have been screwing up. Dr. McKenna cut me some slack my first month... and I guess I kind of took advantage of it. I got pissed when she called me on it," she admitted sheepishly. Some of the tension drained from Karen's face.
Ah. Good. Sometimes it helped to vent to someone not emotionally invested in the problem. "So it looks like you know what you have to do," Kim said.
Karen rose from her chair. She smiled down at Kim. "Thanks, Dr. Donovan. I better get back out there."
"You're welcome." Kim leaned back in her chair and sighed when the door closed behind Karen. Not bad for your first day. Not bad at all.
CHAPTER 4
PENNY LEANED OVER the nurses' station counter slightly to get a clear view down the hall. The ringing phone distracted her from her vigil. She answered it and dealt with the caller while keeping an eye on the door down the hall.
"Has the ortho resident shown up yet?"
Penny jumped, startled by the voice close by. She turned to face Terrell Johnson. The tall, slim black man was one of the second-year residents. "No. I haven't seen him."
Terrell sighed. "Please page him again."
Penny leaned to the side to see past Terrell. "Sure," she said distractedly. A bright smile covered her face when she spotted the person she had been waiting for walking toward the nurses' station. It quickly turned to a frown when her quarry was intercepted before she reached the desk.
Terrell turned to look over his shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just needed to catch Dr. Donovan before she heads back to psych to give her a message," Penny said. What she didn't add was that the message was personal. She planned on asking her to lunch. She had been thrilled when the hot gossip about Kim reached her ears.
Terrell smiled. "Isn't she great? She's only been here a week and I've already learned more from her than from all the other psychiatrists combined."
"Hey. You guys talking about Kim Donovan?" Peter Bates, a fellow ER resident asked, barging into the conversation. "Man, she's hot!" He looked down the hall to where Kim stood talking with another resident. "I'd like to teach her a few things... Know what I mean?" he asked with a leer and made an obscene hand gesture.
"God, Peter. You are such a pig." Terrell's face twisted in distaste. "Grow up already."
Peter sneered. "Shove it, Terry."
Penny glowered at Peter. She knew how much Terrell hated that nickname. Terrell always treated her well. She didn't appreciate Peter giving him a hard time.
"Penny, please page ortho again," Terrell said. With one last disparaging look at Peter, he turned and walked away.
"What's got his undies in a twist?" Peter asked. He glanced down at Penny and scowled as if suddenly realizing he was talking to her.
Penny scowled right back. She was tempted to tell him that he didn't have a chance in hell with Kim. Penny snickered to herself. I hope she tells him in front of a big crowd that she's gay. Although Penny wasn't interested in him, it had always bothered her that the handsome blond resident had never asked her out. He had gone after most every other woman in the department. Penny was surprised when a warm, welcoming smile suddenly appeared on Peter's face.
"Hey, Dr. Donovan," Peter called out.
Penny turned to see Kim approaching with an armload of charts. Her smile was automatic at the sight of the beautiful doctor.
"How are things going?" Peter reached out and took the charts from Kim. He put them down on the counter. "I wanted to let you know if you have any questions you can come to me. I'll be glad to help you with any problems."
Penny rolled her eyes. Peter did not help anyone but himself. The way he was talking you would think he was staff instead of a resident-in-training.
The conversation was interrupted when Aimee came trotting up. "Excuse me. Peter, I need your help with a patient."
Peter glowered at Aimee. "Can't you see I'm busy? Find someone else," he said.
Kim glanced over at Peter with a perturbed look on her face, then turned toward Aimee. "Anything I can do to help?" she asked.
Aimee smiled. "I don't think so. It's not a psych case." She peered at Peter's forbidding glare, and then turned back to Kim. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about dislocated shoulders?"
Penny could almost see Peter weighing his options. Jerk. Now what are you going to do? He seemed to realize his abrupt response to Aimee made him look bad in Kim's eyes.
"Come on, Aimee," Peter said with a long, suffering sigh. "I'll take care of it." He turned to Kim with an ingratiating smile. "If you'll excuse me. You know how it is with these young residents. You just can't leave them on their own for a second."
He took several steps away from the desk, then turned back to Aimee. "Well, come on. I don't have all day."
Penny watched Aimee hurry to catch up with Peter. "What a jerk," she muttered. She glanced over at Kim. She didn't look particularly thrilled with Peter's behavior either. "Just in case you didn't know, Peter isn't even a senior resident. He's
a second-year." Penny felt her heart give a strong thump when Kim turned to face her and their eyes met. God, she's hot.
"Yes. I'm well aware of that," Kim said.
"What?" Penny asked having totally lost her train of thought.
"I know Dr. Bates is a second-year."
"Oh, yeah. Right." Penny smiled at Kim. She would be content to just look at her all day. Penny was brought back to reality when Kim began gathering up the charts on the counter. "Dr. Donovan." Penny swallowed nervously when she once again met Kim's beautiful blue eyes. "It's almost one o'clock. I was wondering...." Penny marshaled her courage. "How about we go grab some lunch?"
Kim shook her head. "Sorry. No. I really have a lot of paperwork to do."
Disappointment washed over Penny. She tried to read Kim's expression but couldn't. Not willing to give up so easily she decided to try again. "Maybe some other time?" she asked hopefully.
"Sure. Maybe some other time." With that Kim gathered up her charts and walked away.
Penny was pleased when she realized that Kim was headed down the hall toward the staff lounge and not toward the elevators. Up until now, Kim had taken her charts back to psych to work on them. Good. Just gives me more of a chance to be around her. Next time she'll say yes. With that satisfying thought, Penny picked up the ringing phone and got back to work.
Jess pushed open the door to the staff lounge. Kim was seated at the table with Bates. She nodded by way of greeting on her way to the coffee pot in the corner of the room. As she made her coffee, she could hear the murmur of their quiet conversation but couldn't make out what was being said. Kim's voice rising and a clear no from her got Jess's attention. She turned toward the table. Kim had a clearly aggravated look on her face. Jess's jaw clenched. Damn it. I warned this kid about his behavior.
Jess picked up her coffee and walked over to stand next to Bates's chair. "Don't you have patients to see, Dr. Bates?" she asked in a mild tone.
Bates looked up at Jess with a frown. "I'm helping Dr. Donovan while I wait for lab results to come back." He smiled over at Kim.
"I can manage just fine on my own," Kim said.
Jess glanced down at Kim. She was sure she saw Kim roll her eyes before she looked down and her hair hid her expression. That pretty much confirmed for her that Bates was making a pest of himself. And most likely hitting on Kim. I definitely need to have another counseling session with him. "In that case, Dr. Bates, I suggest you let Dr. Donovan get back to work. And attend to your own responsibilities," she said her tone taking on a slightly firmer edge.
"I'm waiting for my labs," Bates repeated stubbornly.
All right. That's it. "If you can't find a patient to see, I'm sure I can find one for you," Jess said, her voice cold and totally devoid of emotion.
Bates was up and out of his chair with alacrity. He headed for the door without another word.
Jess gazed down at Kim once he was gone. She shifted uncomfortably. She hated having to deal with this type of thing. Why can't he just do his damn job! "I'm sorry if he was bothering you."
Kim smiled up at her. "No problem. I can handle an over eager resident."
Some of Jess's tension dissipated. Kim was turning out to be a great addition to the ER. The last thing she wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable working here. "I'm sure you can, but you shouldn't have to. I'll talk to him." If I don't wring his neck first!
Jess gazed into Kim's vivid blue eyes and their eyes locked for a moment. Suddenly at a loss for words, she looked down and focused on the table. Get it together, McKenna. Quickly regaining her composure, she turned the conversation to a safe subject — work. "Working on charts?" As soon as Jess said it she realized how inane it sounded. Brilliant, Einstein. What gave it away? The table full of charts?
Kim nodded. "I figured since it was quiet, it was a good time to get caught up."
Jess still couldn't get over the fact that Kim was here working at all. None of the other psychiatrists worked on patient charts in the ER. Then again, Kim had already proven she was not anything like the other psychiatrists. In five short days she had turned the ER upside down. In all the years Jess had worked here, she had never heard so many positive comments about anyone from psychiatry. Although she hadn't had a chance to work with her personally since that first day, she had heard staff and residents alike repeatedly praising Kim.
Jess took a sip of her coffee to hide her struggle to find something else to say. She wanted to talk to Kim and get to know her, but at the same time resisted the urge to do so. You don't need to know anything except that she's good at her job.
A concerned expression suddenly took up residence on Kim's face. "It's not a problem me working in here is it?" she asked.
Jess shook her head. She realized Kim had most likely misconstrued her silence. "No. Absolutely not. I occasionally work —"
The lounge door swung open. Bates peered into the room. When he spotted Jess he ducked back out and quickly closed the door.
Jess looked down at Kim in surprise when she heard her chuckle.
"He's persistent all right," Kim said. "Don't worry. Someone will eventually clue him in that it's a lost cause."
Before Jess could ask what that meant, the door swung open again.
Penny stepped into the doorway and looked around. "Have you seen, Dr. Bertucci?"
"No," Jess said.
"Okay," Penny said and hurried away. The door swung shut behind her.
Jess turned her attention back to Kim. "It can get —" The door to the lounge swung open one more time. Jess shook her head in exasperation.
Terrell stepped into the room. He glanced at Kim, then met Jess's eyes. Without a word he turned and left the room.
"As I was saying..." Jess stopped and stared at the door for just a moment.
Kim laughed.
When the door didn't immediately open, Jess continued, "As you see, it can get a little busy in here. I do work in here occasionally. Most of the staff have a small cubbyhole office they share with another staff member that they use to do their paperwork if it gets too crazy in the lounge. Unfortunately, there aren't any open offices available right now."
"Oh. Well... I guess I could go back to my office. That's where I've been doing my paperwork," Kim said. "I just thought I could be more help if I was close by and readily available."
Jess was thrilled that Kim was so willing to help. Her hard work had made a big impact on the ER. The last thing Jess wanted was for her to feel as if she did not have a place in the ER. She scrambled for a solution. "No. It's fine to work in the lounge. If it gets too hectic, you could use my office for a quiet place to work." A blast of panic hit as soon as the offer left her mouth. What the hell are you doing! That's your only sanctuary.
"That's really nice of you, but I don't want to intrude on your privacy," Kim said.
Jess met Kim's understanding gaze. She was surprised and equally dismayed that Kim seemed able to read her so well. She quickly schooled her features. I can do this. Kim had gone out of her way to integrate into the ER. This was the least Jess could do in return. And of course, if you just happen to get the chance to spend some private time with her, even better. Jess firmly pushed the thought away. She refused to acknowledge the truth of that statement. "It's okay. Come on, I'll show you where my office is."
Kim followed Jess to a back hall of the ER that she thought only held supply closets. Stepping into the office, Kim was surprised to find it was half the size of her office in psych. It didn't even have a window.
Jess sat on the edge of her desk. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking very ill at ease.
Kim had seen the brief flash of what looked like panic that crossed Jess's face when she offered the use of her office. She wondered if this was even a good idea after seeing firsthand the distance Jess kept from her staff. Kim didn't want to make Jess uncomfortable in her own office.
"Are you sure you don't mind me using your office, Dr. McKenna?" Yeah. See. Dr. McKenna. You don't
even call her by her first name. This is a bad idea. Kim watched Jess's reactions carefully. During the past week, Kim had noticed that after a particularly stressful trauma case, Jess would occasionally disappear for a short time. Kim was sure she retreated into her office. She was loath to intrude on what was most likely Jess's personal sanctuary from the stress of her job.
Jess dropped her arms down to her sides and stood. After a slight hesitation she seemed to come to a decision. "You're welcome to use my office while you're assigned to the ER. It's very helpful to have you nearby for consults. You've done an excellent job this week."
Kim smiled brightly. It felt good to hear Jess praise her competence. It helped alleviate any lingering worries over Jess discovering what had happened at Memorial. "Thanks."
If they were going to be sharing an office, Kim decided to see if she could do away with the formal address between them. "Now that that's settled. How about you call me, Kim?" Kim sighed in disappointment when Jess's expression closed off. Shit. Pushed too hard. Kim quickly tried to fix things. "Of course, I only meant in private."
Jess's expression smoothed out and her body language relaxed. "Sure. And you can call me, Jess."
"Thanks, Jess."
"You're welcome, Kim." A smile ghosted across Jess's face and just as quickly disappeared. "Okay then, I need to get back to the ER. If I don't keep a tight rein on the children, all hell breaks loose."
Kim laughed softly inordinately pleased that Jess felt comfortable enough to even make such a comment. "I'm sure they're wondering where I disappeared to as well."
"They probably figure you fell into the evil clutches of the bitch of the ER."
A bit taken aback by Jess's words, Kim frowned. Jess was firm with her residents and her demeanor could be a bit stern. And while she had seen a few contentious interactions between Jess and her residents, Peter in particular, nothing she had witnessed would make her think of Jess as a bitch.
"Oh, that's one of the nicer things the residents call me." Jess shrugged. "I'm sure you'll hear them all very soon. And you'll probably call me some of them yourself before long."