by Inumajin
Copyright
Woof Woof Story
I TOLD YOU TO TURN ME INTO A Pampered Pooch, NOT FENRIR!
VOLUME 1
Inumajin
Translation by Jennifer O’Donnell
Cover art by Kochimo
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
WANWAN MONOGATARI Volume 1 -KANEMOCHI NO INU NI SHITETOWA ITTAGA, FENRIR NISHIROTOWA ITTENEE!-
Copyright © Inumajin, Kochimo 2017
First published in Japan in 2017 by KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo.
English translation rights arranged with KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo, through TUTTLE-MORI AGENCY, INC., Tokyo.
English translation © 2019 by Yen Press, LLC
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First Yen On Edition: February 2019
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Inumajin, author. | Kochimo, illustrator. | O’Donnell, Jennifer, translator.
Title: Woof woof story : I told you to turn me into a pampered pooch, not fenrir! / Inumajin ; illustration by Kochimo ; translation by Jennifer O’Donnell ; cover art by Kochimo.
Other titles: Wanwan Monogatari. English | I told you to turn me into a pampered pooch, not fenrir!
Description: First Yen On edition. | New York, NY : Yen On, 2018–
Identifiers: LCCN 2018051028 | ISBN 9781975303181 (v. 1 : pbk.)
Subjects: CYAC: Reincarnation—Fiction. | Wishes—Fiction. | Dogs—Fiction. | Fantasy.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.I63 Wo 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018051028
ISBNs: 978-1-9753-0318-1 (paperback)
978-1-9753-0319-8 (ebook)
E3-20190121-JV-NF-ORI
“Ah, so this is death.”
I murmur to myself as the world grows dim.
The cause of death is a no-brainer. Overwork.
I haven’t slept in forever. I haven’t been home in who knows how long. What day is it even?
My body, completely exhausted after being worked to the bone, loses what little strength it has left and crumples forward like a puppet cut from its strings.
I can’t even muster the strength to catch myself.
All I can do is obey the laws of gravity and go hurtling toward the hard ground.
My first kiss is going to be with my company building’s floor. What a pathetic way to go out.
Ah… I wish I’d stuffed myself and had a good night’s sleep before dying… If I get reincarnated, just bring me back as the pet dog of some wealthy family…
One last crazy wish flutters across my fading consciousness.
The dead eyes of my colleagues are all focused on their own work. None of them even noticed I’ve collapsed.
Even if they did, they just keep on working.
Unusual incidents aren’t even recognized as unusual. That’s corporate hell for you.
They’re all completely brainwashed. Here I am, a fellow employee, dropping dead right next to them, and they don’t even flinch.
I’m pretty sure my death, and the toxic work environment that caused it, will get swept under the rug by my smooth-talking superiors.
You’re all horrible. At least I get to be the first one to retire.
I bid my ghastly coworkers a silent farewell.
This is how it ends, yet I don’t feel a tinge of regret.
Just the feeling of peaceful release.
Suddenly, my face hits the ground.
Life as a pet doesn’t sound so bad, actually…
I surrender my soul to the abyss.
“YOUR WISH SHALL BE GRANTED!!”
“Arww, arww… (So warm…)”
It feels like I fell asleep in something soft.
Did someone wrap me in a blanket and put me on this futon? It’s hard to move.
I’m still so drowsy that it’s hard to wake up completely.
“Arwarw… (What happened? Er… I kissed the floor, died, then……)”
I feel like I heard a woman’s voice the moment I died.
I faintly recall talking to her, and I think she agreed to something or other, but my memory’s a total blur.
Okay, let’s backtrack. First off, who am I?
“Arww, arwarw… (My name is Routa Okami. Twenty-nine-year-old office worker. No hobbies. No friends. No girlfriend. No family. No wife. Just a long list of “nos.” I guess “noice” guys really do finish last.)”
Aaaand now I’m bummed out.
Come to think of it, I can’t recall a single good thing ever happening to me. I led an extremely average life, trudged through a bleak existence as a corporate slave, and then died from overwork.
Oh, right. I did die, didn’t I? So why do I feel so alive? What’s going on? Where the heck am—?
“Oh, he’s awake! He’s awake, Father!”
“Arw…? (Huh…?)”
I look up in search of the voice and am greeted by a pair of large, round blue eyes.
“Arw?! (A-a giant…?!)”
A pair of enormous hands reach down and pick me up.
“Arw! Arw! (Hey! Whoa! Stop it!)”
Geez, that arw, arw sound is really getting on my nerves! What is it?! I’m currently freaking out, and that really isn’t helping! Enough with the cutesy voice already!
“Arf! Arf!”
I can only hear the high-pitched yelp when I try to say something.
“…Arw……?! (…N-no way…?! Is that my voice…?!)”
It sounds like a puppy’s.
Wait, a puppy?
…Oh, right. It’s all coming back to me now. I guess I did wish for something like this just before I died. Then I heard a woman saying she’d grant me my wish.
“Arww…?! (Did I really get reincarnated…?!)”
Any lingering traces of doubt are snuffed out in an instant.
Reflected in the windowpane of a nearby cabinet is a young blue-eyed girl. Cradled against her chest is something undeniably canine, an adorable puppy covered in white fur with short legs on a fluffy body, a perfectly round puffball.
There’s no denying it. I’ve been reincarnated as a dog.
“So cute! You’re just the cutest! Oh, Father, I want this one!”
“Hmm, very well, then. Make sure you take good care of him. But I must say, you’re rarely this persistent about anything, Mary.”
The man standing behind the girl nods.
He’s a tall, regal, attractive gentleman. I can’t help but feel a little jealous.
“Shop assistant! We’ll take this one.”
I wonder if he’s the girl’s dad. He calls out to a man in an apron who fits the description of “shop assistant.”
“Of course. At once, sir… Hmm? Did we have a dog like this?”
The shop assistant adjusts his round glasses while staring right at me.
“His pedigree does not concern me. If
this is the dog my daughter wants, then it is the one she shall have.”
The father interjects as he strokes his magnificent beard.
“O-of course, sir. I will make the necessary preparations immediately. The young lady will need a carrier.”
“No I won’t. I’ll bring him home like this!”
The girl holds me up above her head and twirls around. Her blond hair glitters in contrast to her plain-colored skirt as she spins.
Whoa, whoa, don’t I get a say in this?
“Oh, right, I need to give you a name!”
At first glance, she looks like a strict young lady, but her smile shines like the sun. She is incredibly cute. Her eyes are more beautiful than those foreign celebrities. As she squeezes me, I’m consumed by her warmth. I nuzzle my face into her and get engulfed by the smell of flowers.
“Arw! (Okay, I’ve decided! Your home’ll do!)”
You can pet me as much as you like. And in return, take good care of me.
Feed me amazing food! Spoil me rotten!
All I’ve done is suffer until now. From this day forward, I’m not going to work at all! I’m going to live my life doing nothing and eat ridiculous amounts of food.
The pet life I’ve only ever dreamed about starts now!
“Grwl, grwl! (Meat is so good! Meat is so good!)”
I rip flesh from bone as I enjoy a steak so rare that it’s still dripping with blood. How can they afford to feed a dog this well? These people have way too much money. Maybe the reason I can never seem to eat enough is because the food here is just so tasty.
More. I need more meat! Give me meat!
“Honestly. Please eat more calmly, Routa.”
The young lady who took me home smiles in amazement. Her hand gently stroking my back feels incredible.
My pet name is the same one I had in my previous life: Routa. It’s a crazy coincidence, but it turns out that Routa was the name of some famous hero who saved this world. Lady Mary loves to read, and she chose it from one of her favorite hero stories.
Way to go, Other World Routa. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever saved the world or anything, and I won’t be doing so anytime soon. Deeds of heroism just aren’t in the cards for me. I’m happy living the pampered pooch life until the day I die.
“Grwl, grwl! (Oh my God, this meat is so good!)”
Time has really flown by since the day Lady Mary picked me up. Well, I say that, but it’s only been a month.
As a puppy, I had a milk-based diet, but that was only for the first week. It wasn’t long before I didn’t need milk anymore and started devouring two kilos of meat per day.
“This dog sure can eat.”
The old chef who prepares my meat watches me with wide eyes.
On the menu today, we have a sautéed veal dish. It’s made with the leftovers from the family’s crown roast, but they don’t mind at all. They’re incredibly kind and won’t feed me any old slice of raw meat just because I’m a dog. The meals don’t have very complex flavors, but I haven’t cared at all since I was reincarnated. In fact, I can’t get enough of the deliciousness of meat. These days, I couldn’t care less about flavoring or refinement. Grilling it like this is more than enough. Excellent work, old man!
“That’s fine; I think it’s cute. Eat lots and grow really big, Routa.”
“Grwl!”
I growl in response and rub my cheek against hers. I hold back from licking her face so that she doesn’t get covered in drool. Play it cool. Who’s a good boy? That’s right. Me.
“Ha-ha.”
She blissfully closes her sky-blue eyes as she pets my head.
Her full name is Meariya Von Faulks.
She was born in this palatial mansion as the daughter of a noble family. She’s the only daughter of the prestigious merchant Gandolf Von Faulks and now my owner. This guardian goddess of my cushy pet life turns fourteen this year. The master of little old me. I pray I get to live a long life with her. Especially one where I don’t have to work.
“Huh? What’s wrong? Does your tummy hurt? Shall I give it a scratch?”
I show her my belly, and she gently scratches it with her slender fingertips. Utter bliss.
“Haff-haff-haff-haff! (Ah yeah, right there, that’s the spot!)”
“Well, that’s a dirty old man face if ever I’ve seen one.”
The old chef looks at me writhing on the floor and raises an eyebrow in surprise.
“He is not an old man! He’s a very cute boy. Right here? Does this feel good?”
“Haff-haff-haff! (Ohhh, this is the best!)”
I have attained nirvana. There isn’t a dog alive who’s as happy as the dog of a rich family. Truly heaven on earth. That’s the kind of life I want to live. Oh, wait—I already am! May the good times last forever!
One lazy day in the mansion’s great hall, I find myself cozied up for a nap.
“Master, something is not right about that dog,” a shrill voice rings out.
Looking up, I see two humans ascending the grand stairway. Lady Mary’s father, Gandolf, is followed closely by a sword-wielding woman. It’s the middle of the day, yet she’s wearing armor, looking ready to leap into battle at any moment. Her fiery red hair is tied into a ponytail, and she’s wearing a harsh, critical expression.
She’s a knight who sponges off the family and crashes here in the mansion. I’m pretty sure her name was something super-tough sounding, like Zenobia Lionheart.
“Grwwl…? (You got something to say…?)”
I foggily look up at them as I sprawl out in the hall at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hmm. What do you mean something isn’t right about Routa? He looks like an ordinary dog to me.”
“In what way?! He’s only been here a month! Just a month!! Don’t you think it’s strange that he’s already this big?? Dogs don’t get this big this fast! He might be the spawn of some mountain wolf. We need to dispose of him before it’s too late!”
Gandolf puts up his hand to stop her, then points to me.
“What are you saying, Zenobia? This dog is my daughter’s greatest treasure. Getting rid of him would break her heart.”
He’s right. How could you say you want to dispose of me? Don’t you know how much Lady Mary relies on me? We’re together from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep after a bath. I’ve got time to kill because right now she’s studying with the family tutor, but besides that, we’re inseparable.
“Forget about hurting her feelings, what about her well-being?! Just look at him! She couldn’t possibly be safe around a beast like that. He’s clearly planning to attack the moment we let our guard down! Just leave it to me! I’ll finish him off with one fell swoop!”
Whoa, whoa! This knight’s saying some rude things.
“I have a responsibility to protect the people of this household!”
“I invited you here as our guest. You need not take on that much responsibility. I am truly grateful that you think of our family that way, though.”
The venerable Papa Gandolf flashes her a beaming smile.
“Then…!”
“But I’m still against it. Just look at that lazy lump. Does he really look like that much of a violent beast to you?”
“Grrrwl… (Sleepy, sleepy…)”
I let out a massive yawn and scratch my ear with my back leg.
No matter how you look at me, I’m just a harmless hound, Zenobia. I’m not a beast at all, just an overgrown puppy. C’mon, how about a pet?
“Tch… Please excuse me!”
It seems we weren’t able to change her mind, so Zenobia, the freeloading knight, storms off grumbling.
“Ugh!”
“Grwl! (Eek…!)”
The death glare she gives me as she passes is terrifying. Why is she so mean to a li’l puppy like me? How horrible…
“My, oh my. She’s got a lot going for her, but that stiff personality of hers is a bit of a fly in the ointment, eh, Routa?”
&nb
sp; Yep. I think so, too, Papa.
I’m not a beast; I’m not even a guard dog.
I’m just a slacker…
Oh! Right there! Scratch right under the neck…
“Hmm. Hmmm. ”
Lady Mary is humming a cheery tune as she chooses her outfit for the day. The sight of her standing there in just her underwear is a little risqué, but since I’m a dog, I don’t care. Well, my soul is human, so I would be lying if I said I was completely unfazed. But even I wouldn’t lay a paw on such a beauty. I’m a firm believer in “look but don’t touch.”
But it doesn’t count if Lady Mary is the one touching me.
“How about this one, miss?”
The maid standing next to her shows her a dress.
“It is a splendid indigo, but don’t you think it’s a little restricting?”
“We are only heading out to the lake. Does is matter if the dress is restrictive?”
“Why, yes. I won’t be able to play with Routa if it’s too tight. Right, Routa? What do you think of this dress?”
“Grwl! (You’re the cutest in the whole world, Lady Mary! It doesn’t matter what you wear, you’ll still be the cutest! We can just enjoy our lunch beneath the shade of the trees and laze around!)”
“Really? Well, if you say so, I’ll wear this one, then.”
“Oh, can you understand what Routa is saying, miss?”
“Of course. It’s Routa, after all!”
“My goodness.” The maid chuckles.
I get caught up in the friendly atmosphere and wag my tail.
Wag, wag.
“Grwl. (Oh, whoops.)”
My tail catches on the laundry basket and tosses the clothes Lady Mary had just taken off everywhere.
I’m still getting used to my rapidly growing dog body. These things happen from time to time.
I begin looking for the clothes that scattered everywhere, including near a full-length mirror.
“Oh, do be careful, Routa!”
“Grwl, grwl. (Whoops, sorry. Don’t worry, though, Miss Maid.)”
I quickly move to pick up the dirty laundry. A regular family dog wouldn’t think to do something like this. And of course, I’m not about to pick it up with my mouth. They would get all sticky with drool. So I use my tail to scoop them up and put them back in the basket.