by Inumajin
After drinking the more effective medicine, Lady Mary’s fever immediately goes down.
When she wakes up that evening, Papa cries and rubs his cheek against hers.
“Ahhhh!!! Maaaaaryyyy! Thank goodness! Thank goooooooodness!”
“Ohhh, Father, your beard tickles.”
She gently hugs her father as he clings to her.
“Lady Mary!”
That’s when Zenobia bursts in.
Looks like she’s awake, too.
I don’t know if Nahura treated her or not, but her wounds from her fight with Lenowyrm appear healed.
“Oh, Zenobia.”
Lady Mary smiles at her arrival.
“Miss, your illness…?!”
“Yes, I’m completely better. I heard you went to get the ingredients for the medicine for me. Thank you.”
“Zenobia! Please allow me to give you my thanks! Thank you so much!”
Sweat and tears stream down Papa’s face as he shakes her hand.
“I had heard about this ingredient when I was looking for various treatments. Wyrmnil is a mystical medicinal plant that only grows in a dragon’s nest. You went into a very dangerous place and even fought a dragon for Mary’s sake, right?”
“Huh?! No, I…!”
Zenobia is bewildered at Papa’s effusive praise.
“I saw a beam of light in the sky far off in the distance the other night. It must have been a fierce battle. I’m certain that was you. Who else could it have been but an SS Rank Adventurer? I’m glad you came into our home. I must give you something to thank you! Just tell me—anything!”
“No! That wasn’t me! I couldn’t do anything…”
Zenobia thinks this is all a big misunderstanding.
But when you look at it, the only one who could have fought a dragon was Zenobia.
She lost consciousness at the end, and when she awoke, she was back in the mansion. Now everyone’s treating her like a hero.
Thus her confusion.
“No…? But the wyrmnil… If it wasn’t you…then who…?”
This time it’s Papa’s turn to be bewildered at her adamant denial.
Yesterday, the only ones not in the mansion were Zenobia and one other.
In other words: me.
Everyone’s gaze turns toward me.
“Arw! (…Ah!)”
C-craaaap!
I was so preoccupied with getting the wyrmnil that I didn’t think about what came after.
Hecate, who normally follows me around, isn’t here.
Anyone watching from a distance could tell someone was fighting a dragon at that moment in time.
Everyone must think it’s strange that an ordinary dog could fight a dragon.
Now my real identity will be discovered.
“Routa…?”
Miranda the maid looks down at me with fearful eyes.
“Arww, arww! (You’ve got it wrong, Miranda! I’m just a cute widdle puppy! Don’t look at me like that! Really! Please! Please don’t take this life away from meeeee…!)”
I move to cling to her, but she takes a step back.
Uwah, that hurts…!
“Routa, you didn’t…?”
Even Papa asks me with a trembling voice.
C-crap. Now even Papa, the head of the house, suspects me…!
What do I do…?! What do I do…?!
Oh no, I need to think of something…!
“It can’t be… Did Routa really…?”
“—Haaa! Ha-ha-ha!!”
A lighthearted laugh breaks the silence.
“I guess I’ve been found out! That’s right. I was the one who defeated the dragon and returned with the wyrmnil! It was a formidable foe but, well, you can see how that went!”
Zenobia puffs out her chest as she boasts.
“Arw…? (You’re going to help me just in the nick of time…?)”
She’s a terrible ham of an actor.
Judging from her personality, she must hate taking credit for such a feat.
And now she has to put on this performance all…for my sake?
“Ohhh, so it was you! You really are amazing, Zenobia!”
“Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Not at all! Routa here wasn’t helpful at all. I took him along, but he couldn’t do anything. He was scared the whole time! He really is just an ordinary dog! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
So she’s going to help me hide my real identity.
Though you can tell she hates the lie from the way she grips her shaking hands.
Forgive me. Forgive me, Zenobia.
Please hold out just a little longer, for my sake…!
Everyone continues praising Zenobia and saying how amaaaaazing she is for a good while after that.
“Gromff omff! (Delicious! So good! The old man’s food really is the best!)”
I greedily devour the first piece of cured boar steak that’s been seasoned with salt and grilled to perfection.
It’s a thick cut of meat that was cooked in the oven on the lowest heat, then seared over a high flame, making the outside crisp but the inside nice and rare. As it’s cooked all the way through, there’s no smell, but its juiciness remains. The meat overflows with umami-rich juices when I bite into it.
So, so, sooo good! This is the work of a master chef!
“Mewww! (It really is delicious! Routa!)”
“Woof, woof! (Yeah! It’s the best! Hey, Nahura, can you stop sneaking bites of my dinner?)”
That’s mine! Go get Hecate to make some for you!
“Mew. (Aw, don’t be so stingy. Let me have half. Only half. )”
“Woof, woof! (You’re going to eat half of this?! Your cheekiness is shocking!)”
I don’t care how cutely you say it. I won’t forgive you!
“Squeak, squeak. (Indeed. Understand your place, insolent cat.)”
Squeak?
I feel like I heard a strange voice just now.
“Squeak, squeak. (Mmm, but it is indeed as you said. This meat is simply divine. Very good. You should bring me more.)”
I look down at my plate to see a small mouse sitting on the edge.
It’s using both its paws skillfully to nibble on a piece of meat.
Its fur is a unique color, a fresh blue.
“Mewww! (A-a mouse?! I hate mice! Kill it, Routa! Get it!)”
Nahura lets out a scream.
“Arwf… (You’re a cat that’s scared of mice… You’re certainly an odd one…)”
“Squeak. (You really are so noisy. It is I.)”
The blue mouse runs up my leg and onto my head.
“Arwf. (H-hey.)”
“Squeak. (What? You were the one who said I should visit. And so I have come all this way. Should you not be more welcoming?)”
This brazen way of speaking, I feel like I’ve heard it somewhere before.
“Bark! (It can’t be! Lenowyrm?!)”
“Squeak, squeak. (Indeed. You’ve finally realized. My original form would be most terrifying for humans. And so I came in one that would not stand out. I am, after all, a polite maiden who knows the appropriate manners for any time and place.)”
She did demonstrate those manners when we met.
Wait, so she can transform at will?
Perhaps the reason there aren’t many sightings of dragons is because they’ve transformed and are living lives as other creatures…?
Whoa.
I think I may have discovered one of this world’s secrets.
That’s too much knowledge for a simple dog. Let’s just forget about it.
“Squeak, squeak. (So there you have it. I shall board here for now.)”
“Arwf?! (What?! Why?! Aren’t you going home?!)”
“Squeak? (Who was it that destroyed my nest?)”
“…Arww… (Me…)”
“Squeak. (Hmph. As long as you understand that. Hmm, your fur is most comfortable to sleep in. It’s decided. I shall make this my new nest!)”
Her nest? She’s going to live in my fur?!
; But I did destroy her home, so I’m not in any position to argue.
It’s like getting a tick…
“Squeak. (And so, I have judged you, the one who defeated me, as satisfactory. I am a little concerned that you are a pervert, but love is blind. You should be grateful I have decided to make you my groom.)”
This no-good mouse sure is saying some ridiculous stuff.
My reply is immediate.
“Bark. (No way.)”
“Squeak! (Wh-what did you say?! I’ll have you know, ruffian, that I am one of the most beautiful among all dragons!)”
“Woof, woof! (I already said, I’m not a fuuuuurryyyyy!!)”
I bark angrily at the blue mouse that just shrieked in my ear.
“Mewww. (Oh yes. This meat really is fantastic.)”
I look over to Nahura, who clearly isn’t listening, and see my plate is now empty.
“Woof! (H-how dare you eat someone’s food the moment they step away!)”
“Squeak! (What a terrible greedy cat! You have really done it now!)”
“Woof! Woof! (Nahura! Let me tell you something! There is nothing more terrifying than my grudge for eating my fooooooood! You! Give me back my meeeeaaaat!!)”
“M-myaaa?! (N-noooooooo?!)”
And so, a terribly long companionship between a no-good dog, a useless cat, and a hopeless mouse begins.
It’s been a week since we brought the wyrmnil back. The medicine worked perfectly, and my lady is already back to full health. The frantic mansion returns to normal, and I continue my life as a pampered pooch.
I’ve enjoyed the usual five-star meal prepared by the old man, and now I’m napping in the shade of a tree.
There’s this strange, uncomfortable feeling, but that may be due to my two new houseguests.
I now have a blue mouse living on my back, and a crimson cat is lying on a tree branch above my head.
I’m just going to ignore them. They’re not going to leave even if I tell them to.
Now that my lady’s illness is gone, she sticks to me like glue. Even now, she’s sleeping soundly with her arms around me.
Oh man, it’s hard being so popular. Guess I’ve used up my pet luck.
“Hey, this makes us even.”
I suddenly hear Zenobia’s voice coming from behind the tree.
“I don’t know what happened when I fainted, but that was all your doing, right?”
I don’t answer her.
Because I’m just a simple pet dog.
“Honestly, you forced me to make such a big deal over it. I’ve never been so embarrassed in all my life. And yet, I do owe you one. I could not have done it by myself. Thank you for saving the young lady.”
Wow. Zenobia just thanked me.
The sky isn’t gonna fall tomorrow, is it?
“But don’t get me wrong. I still don’t trust you. I will cut you down the day you return to your monster ways.”
She warns me, then walks off.
You need to be more honest with yourself.
The urge to lick grows ever stronger.
“Arwf… (The weather really is nice today…)”
The rays of the early summer sun are getting stronger, but the shade of the tree is still cool.
I decide to have a bit of a nap and lay my head on my front paws.
A strong breeze blows by, and my lady opens her eyes.
“Hmm…”
“Woof, woof? (Oh, you’re awake, my lady? You don’t have studies for a while longer, so we can relax! Or perhaps we could play fetch?)”
Her sleepy eyes look back at me before her expression quickly softens, and she puts her arms around me again for a hug.
“Thank goodness you’re still here, Routa… I’d hate for you to leave me again.”
“Woof, woof. (I know. Your Routa will always be by your side. I promise.)”
She looks right into my eyes and smiles. It’s like watching a beautiful flower bloom.
“I love you, Routa!”
Yeah. It was all worth it to see this smile.
I’ll say it again, and again, and again.
Pet life is the best life!!!
“YOUR WISH SHALL BE GRANTED!!!”
My fading consciousness awakens in the darkness to a loud voice.
“Huh?! What the—?!”
I try to collect myself, but I’m still a bit dazed. My nose and lips hurt where I smacked them on the company floor when I collapsed.
They really hurt. My front teeth are broken. I’m sure they are.
“…Huh? Wait a sec. I don’t actually feel any pain.”
I don’t feel anything at all; I also don’t have a body.
I try to put my hand on my banged-up face, but it’s not there. I’m a spirit floating in midair.
“What is this? What’s going on…?”
The pure-white floor below me expands as far as the eye can see, and a blue sky, so vast I feel I could fall into it, spreads out over the horizon.
It’s an incredibly beautiful sight, but shouldn’t this be the slightly dirty company floor where I dropped dead?
Where in the world am I?
“Routa Okami.”
“Yes?”
A voice suddenly calls out to me.
It must be the woman’s voice I heard before.
How can I put it? She has an “If you would like to make a deposit, please enter your four-digit PIN number” kind of voice.
I see. She’s a scammer.
“Am not.”
She refutes as if she just read my mind. At the same time, a ring of blinding light carves a hole in the sky, and someone appears from within. The figure slowly floats down as if possessed of wings. The ring of light shrinks, then hangs above the person’s head.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Routa Okami. I am sure this must be a shock to you, so please allow me to explain what happened.”
The smiling woman looks soft and warm. Her hair is soft, her clothes are soft, her expression is soft. She’s like an affectionate big sister. She exudes a nurturing aura.
“That is because I am a goddess. I am the mother of all life on earth.”
A soft, smiling goddess big sister.
Ugh. If I had a body, this would be when I’d rush forward and hug her, saying “Mama!”
“If that is what you desire, you are more than welcome. Would you like a nice big hug?”
“Oh, um, sorry. I’m not brave enough for that… Wait, goddess?!”
“Yes. Or rather, I am a single low-ranking god who has finally been assigned souls to take care of.”
“Ohhh… You’re different from what I had imagined.”
I had envisioned some wizened old fogy with a white beard and a scary face.
“Some of my superiors look like that. But they say that the most important thing is to show dignity, otherwise humans will start to disrespect you.”
Sorry, but that’s exactly how I feel right now. I never thought God would be a soft, mature woman with a full chest.
So the gods’ society is ruled by hierarchies, too. I can’t say if that’s efficient or messed up.
And I feel like she’s been reading my thoughts for a while now.
“Well, I am a goddess.”
Please stop reading my thoughts! That’s a breach of privacy!
“I am joking. It’s written all over your face. You are a very honest person, Routa.”
I don’t have a face. I’m just a floating soul here.
“Now that you seem to have calmed down, I shall explain the situation to you.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Seems like that was just a pep talk to get me to relax. But considering this space apart from reality, a woman who says she’s a god, and myself being a spirit-like thing…I have a pretty good idea of what happened.
“Routa Okami, you are dead.”
“Ahh, I knew it. I thought so…”
I knew that had happened, so it wasn’t as much of a shock as I thought it’d be.
> So I did die back then.
I don’t have any regrets about dying.
I only have distant relatives, so I wonder what they’ll do about my funeral and savings.
I just wish someone would take the chance to dispose of my smartphone and computer as well as a few select items in my room.
Please sympathize with me. Boss, you’re my only hope. As the only person who ever talked to me, a nerd like you must surely empathize with someone like me who has no friends. Just go in there with a hammer and drill and destroy all my stuff before they take it away.
“Oh yes. It would be nice if someone would destroy those things before any embarrassing information was leaked.”
“Can you really read that from my face?”
You’re really reading my mind, aren’t you?!
“No, no, your face looked like it was pleading for someone to destroy some evidence.”
What does that even mean? I don’t even have a face.
“Oh yes, about that. As you have died, we would normally have you return to the cycle of death and rebirth, but right now, we are holding a special promotion.”
Promotion. That sounds very earthlike. Heaven is just like earth.
“Well, you see, in recent years, we have had a lot of people who have refused to return to the cycle of death and rebirth. Previously, everyone wanted to be reborn because they did not want to die, but now, so many people would rather vanish than live another hard life.”
Yeah, I know how they feel. I hate the idea of becoming a corporate slave again.
So there are loads more unhappy people in the world besides me? Does anyone have a strong enough desire to keep living?
I don’t care about that! My misfortune will decide for me!
I don’t want to work! I never want to work ever again!
“There are a lot of people who think like that.”
“You really are reading my mind, aren’t you?! Aren’t you?!”
“Oh, no, it shows on your face.”
I don’t have a face.
“So about our promotion. If you cannot bear the reality of this world, then perhaps you would like to try being reincarnated in a different world. We’ve only just begun this promotion, but there have been a lot of people taking this option.”
I get it. I understand that. I understand being influenced by pop culture at a young age all too well.
This is “being reborn in another world.”