by Bree Wolf
“And now you’ve found me,” Claudia replied with the pretend cheerfulness she had worked so hard to attain. Judging from the looks on her family’s faces though, it fell far short.
All of a sudden, silence descended over them as the other three glanced from her to one another, each one of them dreading to speak the first word. While Richard and her mother looked distraught to the point of painful, Evelyn had her hands resting protectively on the small bump under her dress as though she feared her child might disappear. For a moment, neither one of them dared meet her eyes.
Claudia swallowed. “What happened?”
Inhaling a slow breath, her brother glanced at his wife who reached out and gently squeezed his hand. He nodded in acknowledgement and then stepped forward. “Come with me, please,” he said as his eyes finally found Claudia’s.
Nodding her agreement, she followed him to the small stone bench by the fountain and sat down at his behest while he remained standing. Looking up at her brother, Claudia sighed, “Please, say it. Whatever it is, simply say it.”
“All right,” Richard nodded as his wife came to stand beside him while their mother took a seat next to Claudia on the bench, her hands folded in her lap and her head bowed. “This morning,” her brother began, “I received a letter.” He paused. “From Mr. Lambert.”
Claudia could not prevent the jerk that went through her body at the mention of her second cousin, knowing only too well that he had been the one entrusted with delivering her son to his new family. What could her brother possibly have to tell her that she needed to know? If she was to have any chance of moving on, then she needed to cut all ties? Could he not see the pain his words caused her? Could he not simply leave this alone?
And yet, Claudia felt the almost uncontrollable need to ask after her son, bringing with it fresh pain. “No!” Claudia exclaimed, suddenly shooting to her feet. “I do not wish to hear it!”
“But you must, my dear,” her mother whispered, reaching out and taking Claudia’s hand. “You may not wish to, but you need to.”
“You have a right to know,” Evelyn stated before she turned her face to hide the tears that rolled down her cheeks.
Richard took a step toward his sister. “You need to hear this. Please.”
Swallowing, Claudia nodded. Then she sat back down, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as she tried her best not to break into a thousand pieces.
“The carriage that was to deliver him…,” her brother paused, omitting to his new family, “was…was set upon by highwaymen.”
Claudia’s eyes closed as her teeth cut her flesh and she tasted blood. Her hands grew ice cold, and her heart slowed until it seemed it was barely beating. Fear gripped her, blind panic, and yet, her body froze, unable to move.
“Mr. Lambert took a blow to the head,” her brother continued, his voice calm and collected, and yet, Claudia knew that he felt for her, “and lost consciousness. He is fine, but…they took the child.” He heaved a deep sigh full of regret. “At present, we don’t know where the boy is.”
Claudia felt as though time had come to a standstill as the shock of this news slowly seeped into her bones. Fear rose up louder and clawed at her heart, and she felt like sinking to the ground and crying her eyes out.
“I will go and speak to Mr. Lambert,” Richard continued in his calm voice, “and discuss with him how to proceed in order to retrieve the child. I assure you that we will find him. You are not to worry.”
As her brother’s voice faded away, Claudia felt her mother’s hand squeeze hers and dimly wondered when her mother had placed her hand on hers. She could not recall. It was indeed the strangest thing to wonder about in that moment.
“I’ll be off then.”
At her brother’s words, Claudia’s eyes flew open and she shot to her feet yet again. “I will accompany you!” The words flew from her lips before she’d had a chance to think them through.
Doubt came to her brother’s eyes and he glanced at his wife before taking a step toward his sister. “I think it would be better if you stayed with Mother and Evelyn. You−”
“He’s my son!” Squaring her shoulders, Claudia raised her chin and met her brother’s eyes, barely aware of the tears that now freely flowed down her cheeks. “He’s my son,” she repeated with less strength but equal determination, feeling her chin quiver with the power of that proclamation. Never had she said those words out loud.
Not like this.
Not as his mother.
For a long moment, her brother looked at her, torn by indecision until his wife said, “She needs to go, Richard. He is her child.” Then he nodded and held out his hand to her.
Brushing the tears from her face, Claudia stepped forward and slipped her hand into her brother’s, feeling his fingers close over hers tightly. His silver eyes met hers, and she could read a solemn promise in the way he nodded to her. “Ready?”
“I am,” Claudia whispered, wondering if she had spoken the truth. After all, any outcome this could lead to would see her heartbroken all over again. Either her son would come to harm or if they indeed managed to recover him, she would have to say goodbye to him once more.
Claudia doubted she had the strength to live with either.
Chapter Five – An Addled Mind
Half an hour later, they sat in Mr. Lambert’s office.
As Claudia’s second cousin had only expected her brother, a look of surprise came to his face upon seeing her there as well. Surprise was quickly followed by an apology, his green eyes holding deep sorrow as he no doubt thought of his own two little girls, Mildred and Theresa.
His concern for her and her son felt even more genuine as he never mentioned the rather large bruise on his left temple from where he had been struck during the ambush. All his thoughts were for her.
Claudia felt close to suffocating. Her emotions were so raw and painful that she did not dare dwell on them. Fortunately, for once, her brother seemed to know exactly how she felt, swiftly coming to her aid and diverting Mr. Lambert’s attention.
“Can you tell us what happened?” Richard asked as they had settled into the armchairs positioned opposite Mr. Lambert’s desk.
Clearing his throat, Mr. Lambert took his seat, folding his hands on the table top. “As I wrote in my letter, there were at least two assailants.” He glanced at Claudia and dropped his voice a little. “They were armed, lying in wait.”
Claudia felt her fingernails dig painfully into her palms as she listened, doing her best to ignore the fear in her heart and listen with her head alone.
“They had dragged large branches onto the road,” Mr. Lambert continued, “to ensure that the carriage would stop. Then they approached, first incapacitating the driver,” he sighed, “and then me.”
“Did you see them?” Richard asked, his eyes focused as his mind worked. “Can you tell me what they looked like?”
“They wore hoods over their heads,” Mr. Lambert replied, regret heavy in his voice. “Everything happened so fast that it is all a blur.” His gaze drifted to Claudia. “I’m deeply sorry, Miss Davenport.”
Swallowing, Claudia nodded. It was all she could do.
“What happened then?” Richard asked, once again redirecting Mr. Lambert’s attention.
“When I came to,” their cousin sighed, “the nurse sat in a corner of the carriage crying, unable to speak, and the boy was gone.” Again, Mr. Lambert’s gaze drifted to Claudia but blessedly only for a moment. “I’ve gone over everything a thousand times in my mind,” he told her brother, “and I must say that the fact that they did not kill us gives me hope. I believe it means that there is some restraint in them. I believe they would not harm the child.”
Claudia inhaled a slow breath, clinging with all her might to her cousin’s words.
“Do you believe they will ask for ransom?” Richard enquired.
Mr. Lambert shrugged. “I have no way of knowing that. However, it does appear the most reasonable explanation. Why else woul
d they steal the child?”
Richard frowned. “Did they say anything that would suggest they knew who he was?”
“I did not hear them speak at all,” Mr. Lambert admitted. “I heard their yelling and then they were upon us. I cannot say I heard them say anything.” He shrugged. “They might have known or might have not. Perhaps they were lying in wait for anyone they would deem profitable. Perhaps this is nothing personal.”
“What about the nurse? Did she take a blow to the head as well?”
“No, but the ordeal has addled her mind,” Mr. Lambert said in a low voice. “I returned her home, but she’s not said a word since it happened. She only sits and stares at nothing.”
Claudia felt as though in a dream. She could hear them speaking, and yet her mind was numb. Nothing seemed real, and yet, her heart still ached as acutely as ever before.
“I would suggest hiring a few trusted men,” Mr. Lambert went on, his gaze focused on her brother, “to aid us in the search for the child.” He cleared his throat. “Quietly so as not to cause a scandal.”
Richard nodded. “Thank you. Yes, I suppose that would be the best way to proceed.” He rose to his feet. “Please keep us informed.”
“Of course,” Mr. Lambert assured them as Richard helped Claudia to her feet.
An addled mind, Claudia thought, knowing exactly how that felt. As she followed her brother out the door and back out onto the street, nothing felt real, and yet, utterly terrifying.
What was she to do now?
***
When Claudia woke the next morning, for one small, blessed moment the world seemed all right.
Then her memory returned like a blow to her heart, and she rolled over in bed, hugging her knees as pain radiated through her chest. Fresh tears streamed down her face, and she gritted her teeth against the sobs that threatened to rise from her throat.
Another memory drifted before her eyes. A memory of her son in the one small moment when she had laid eyes on him. She could still hear his soft, little wails as though he were calling for her. For his mother.
But she had never come to him.
Anger rose in Claudia’s chest, anger at herself. How could she have abandoned her child? He had needed her. He still needed her, and she would not fail him. Not again.
Clenching her jaw, Claudia pushed herself up, determinedly wiping the tears off her face. They would not serve her. Nor her son. She needed to keep her wits about her if she were to find her child.
With a new purpose in mind, Claudia rose and dressed quickly, her mind as clear and focused as it had not been in a long while.
The nurse!
While Mr. Lambert no doubt had men searching the road where the ambush had happened, trying to find witnesses who might have seen something, Claudia knew that he had already disregarded the young woman who had been conscious throughout the ordeal. He had said that she could not say a word, her mind trapped in a world no one could reach.
But was that true?
Claudia herself had spent the past months distancing herself from the world for fear of the pain that would await her. And yet, she was still here. Would she be able to reach the young woman who had shut off her mind in order to protect herself?
Claudia knew she had to try.
A distant part of her mind whispered, What if the nurse does not remember? You, too, cannot recall a significant night of your life.
Pushing that thought away, Claudia headed downstairs, almost cringing at the voices that echoed to her ears as she stepped down into the hall. Her family was already up, concern tinging their voices as they talked about her, about what to do, about how to help.
Claudia glanced toward the drawing room and then tiptoed forward, determined to do this on her own.
“Good morning, miss.”
Cursing under her breath, Claudia stopped in her tracks. Then she reluctantly turned around and greeted their butler, wishing for once the man was not quite so diligent. “Please bring me my jacket and bonnet.”
Bowing, Harmon did as he was bid.
“Claudia, my dear,” her mother exclaimed, all but bursting through the door. “You’re up already? We thought you would need a little more rest. Perhaps you should lie down and−”
“No!” Seeing her mother cringe at the vehemence in her voice, Claudia forced herself to remain calm, trying her best to smile at her mother and sister-in-law, who had followed the dowager viscountess out of the drawing room. “I need some fresh air,” she said politely, holding herself upright in the hopes they would deem her fit to undertake such an activity.
“Shall we accompany you?” Evelyn asked, her right hand absentmindedly resting on her midsection.
Swallowing, Claudia forced her eyes up. “Thank you, but no.” Once more attempting a smile, she held her sister-in-law’s gaze, knowing that if anyone were to see to the root of her soul, it would be Evelyn. “I need to be alone for a bit.”
For a long moment, Evelyn simply looked at her, her dark blue eyes lingering on Claudia’s face. Then she nodded in understanding, and Claudia could have hugged her.
“But my dear, I−?” her mother began, but Evelyn silenced her with a hand on her arm. “She’ll be fine,” she said, her voice strong and knowing.
After mumbling a quick thank-you to her new sister-in-law, Claudia stepped outside into the early morning sun. Perhaps Evelyn could tell that Claudia could no longer bear to have their concerned eyes follow her every step. Perhaps she understood that it crippled her and made her want to curl up into a ball and cry. Perhaps Evelyn could truly see all that and more.
Tying her bonnet under her chin, Claudia took a step back out into the world. And then another. And for the first time in almost a year, she felt as though she had any control over her life.
“I will find you,” she whispered to the soft breeze brushing over her cheeks, “if it’s the last thing I’ll do. I will find you.”
Chapter Six – Retrieving a Memory
Retreating into the shadows of a large oak, Garrett watched as his wife left her brother’s townhouse, her steps carrying her forward with vigour and determination−something that had been absent that night at the ball. Had something changed? He wondered as he followed her slowly, wishing he could see her face.
His heart thudded in his chest as he walked on, leading his horse by the reins, his eyes fixed on his wife as she turned corners and crossed streets. From the way she moved, Garrett knew that she had a specific destination in mind and wondered who on earth she would call on so early in the morning.
Leaving behind London’s imposing townhouses, Claudia entered an area mostly harbouring stores and offices. A little down the street, she climbed the three steps leading up to a door bearing a sign with large letters, STEVEN LAMBERT, SOLICITOR.
Garrett frowned. The day before he had followed her and her brother as they had come to this office in their carriage. After entering, they had stayed inside for what had seemed like an eternity to him as he had contemplated why on earth they were talking to a solicitor.
His heart had nearly stopped when his mind had drawn the conclusion that she might be getting legal advice on how to rid herself of him. Was she trying to get an annulment? Or a divorce? But why now? Why not months ago? And why had she pretended not to know him at the ball?
Shaking his head, Garrett watched as the door opened and a young man appeared in its frame. The same young man Garrett had seen the day before, undoubtedly Steven Lambert. The solicitor’s eyes widened when he saw Claudia, and Garrett could not help but wonder about the nature of their relationship. Who would seek out their solicitor so early in the morning? What solicitor would be surprised in such a way to see one of his clients?
A nagging suspicion gripped Garrett’s heart, and he felt his hands curl into fists.
After a brief moment of hesitation, Mr. Lambert invited her inside, but Claudia shook her head. Her hands gestured wildly as words flew from her lips, and Garrett could not help but smile as it reminded h
im of their night together.
Never had she been tight-lipped. On the contrary, in order to get a word in, he had pulled her into his arms more than once that night and kissed her breathless…and speechless.
At least for a moment.
Enough for him to speak his mind.
After Mr. Lambert stepped into his office and returned a moment later with his coat, Garrett retreated a few paces so as not to be seen, half-hiding behind his mount. The two began walking side by side down the street, each step carrying them farther away from the viscount’s townhouse.
Forcing himself to pace his steps, Garrett followed once more, frowning when they entered a part of town that harboured the less fortunate in life. Here, people were up and about, their voices ringing through the air. The streets held dirt and garbage, and the smells were far from pleasing. For the thousandth time, Garrett wondered where they were headed.
Finally, they came to stand in front of a simple structure in desperate need of repairs. Mr. Lambert knocked on the door, and after a while, a young woman opened. Garrett squinted his eyes, however, from such a distance, he could not make out her face.
After a few words were exchanged, the young woman stepped aside and allowed the pair to enter. Then the door closed behind them, and Garrett was left behind in the dark. His jaw clenched painfully, and he cursed loudly, wishing he could simply follow and demand an explanation.
But he did not. Deep down, a part of him knew that it would not be that simple.
There was more to his wife than meets the eye, he thought, and no matter how many nights and days he needed to spend outside her home, he would find out what it was.
***
As Mr. Lambert waited out in the hall, Claudia stepped into the woman’s small dwelling. Her face was pale, and her eyes downcast and red-rimmed as she bid Claudia take a seat on one of the spindly chairs by the table. There was something about her that seemed familiar, and Claudia wondered if she had met this woman before. Had she come to Crestwood House to collect her son? Had she seen her then? Unable to recall, Claudia shook her head, then sat down in the proffered seat. “Thank you, Miss…?”