by Bree Wolf
She remembered smiling up at him, unable not to.
Somehow he had broken through her defences even then. Before she had known what was happening, they had laughed and danced, shared a drink or two−after the ones she had already consumed on her own−and then…he had kissed her.
Kissed her breathless.
Speechless.
At that point, her mind grew hazy again.
Claudia caught glimpses of herself standing with him, holding his hand. She could still feel her lips moving, however, she could not recall what she had whispered. Or what he had said in return. There had been smiling faces around them, and then a cheer had gone up in the room.
And he had kissed her again.
Held her in his arms, his green eyes shining with love and devotion. Could that have been true? They’d known each other only a few hours. Could anyone truly lose their heart in so short a time?
While Claudia’s mind reasoned that it was impossible, her heart disagreed, and she could not deny the warmth that claimed her every time she thought of Garrett. Even now when he was out in the stables, not far away, not for long, she missed him. There was something that urged her to his side, an invisible bond, as though that was where she belonged.
With him.
But she did not.
His wife did.
“Seems to be a busy time,” came Garrett’s voice from behind her, and Claudia flinched, her heart doing a little jump−less with surprise and more with joy. “Shall we have a bite first?”
Swallowing, Claudia nodded and followed Garrett into the taproom and to one of the few unoccupied tables. They ordered a hearty supper and ate quietly. Still, Claudia could feel his eyes on her, and whenever she would break down and look up, his lips curled up into a knowing smile. Her skin began to crawl with the way he looked at her, and she could feel the air grow heavy with words unspoken. Memories lingered everywhere, and she knew he could see their effect on her in her eyes. Everywhere she turned, she felt reminded of him, of them, of their short time together, of what they could have had.
Of what her heart still wanted.
“Wait here and finish yer supper, Lass,” Garrett said as he made to get to his feet. “I shall get us a room. It’ll only be a moment.” And then he walked away toward the front counter, and his words echoed in her mind.
I shall get us a room.
Closing her eyes, Claudia rested her face in her hands, knowing that she ought to stop him, demand he get two rooms. Aware of her own weakness when it came to him, a wall between them seemed like the safest option. And yet, Claudia did not move, did not say a word, but followed Garrett through the crowded room when he returned to collect her.
The sun was slowly setting as they stepped into the small, sparsely-furnished room, and Claudia’s heart almost stopped. Her gaze swept over the two lonely chairs set around a small table in the corner by the window and then drifted further to the bed at the back wall. “This is where I woke up,” she whispered, feeling her hands grow cold as she remembered that morning almost a year ago. “Alone.”
Behind her, Garrett drew in a long breath as he closed the door and then set her travelling bag on one of the chairs. “Aye, I’m sorry for that. I woke early and…went to speak to someone.” He stepped around her and drew her cold hands into his warm ones. “I didna want to wake ye, Lass,” he said, regret filling his eyes. “Ye slept so peacefully, and I thought to surprise ye with fresh food.” He swallowed. “But when I returned, ye were gone.”
“My brother,” Claudia whispered, feeling her hands begin to tingle as they warmed at his touch. “He came to get me, to take me home.”
Garrett nodded. “The innkeeper said as much. I was relieved to hear that ye were safe…at least, but I wish I could’ve taken ye with me.”
Looking up into his eyes, Claudia could have groaned at the desire and devotion she saw there. Her heart ached, and she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. “What was it that you said to me?” she whispered. “Outside when you took the horses.”
“Mo chridhe?”
Claudia nodded. “I kept hearing it in my dreams, but I never knew what it meant.”
A soft smile touched his lips, and he drew her into his arms, his green eyes never leaving hers. “It means ‘my heart’.”
Closing her eyes, Claudia all but sank into his arms as his words washed over her. For months, she had heard him whisper to her in her dreams, never knowing what he said. And now, here he was, right before her, a man of flesh and blood, warm and alive, not a ghost in the cold darkness of her chamber.
A weak sigh left Claudia’s lips. “Did you call me that before? That night when…?”
When she dropped her gaze, his hand settled under her chin once more, gentle but insistent, urging her to look at him. “Aye,” he whispered, his eyes dark pools as he looked down at her. The air around them glowed warmly as the sun drifted lower outside their window, its golden rays painting the world in beautiful colours. “Aye, I said that and more.”
A tear rolled down Claudia’s cheek as her heart and mind waged a war within her. What was right and what was wrong? Why did wrong sometimes feel so right? How was she to step away from him? Where would she find the strength−
The pad of his thumb gently brushed the tear from her cheek as Garrett leaned down and touched his mouth to hers. Like before in the clearing, it was a tender kiss, restrained and cautious, asking permission.
If he had grabbed her, his mouth hard on hers, kissing her breathless, Claudia might have found the strength to fight him, her innate stubbornness protesting out of habit alone. However, the gentleness and care with which he held her completely disarmed her, blocking out the small voice that whispered of a situation repeating itself.
Opening to him, Claudia kissed him back, her hands travelling up and meeting behind his neck as she strove to be closer. At her response, Garrett’s restraint vanished. His kiss became more demanding, and his touch stirred new memories of a shared night long ago.
Lost in the images that flashed before her eyes, Claudia sank into his arms and allowed him to carry her to the bed. Gently, he set her upon the mattress, and she reached up to pull him down to her. Their bodies met, and she could not deny how right it felt to be in his arms. Passion flared, and reason stood in defeat, bowing its head to a deep longing that had grown each day of the past months and would no longer be held at bay.
Chapter Twenty – A Fateful Night's First Revelation
It was still dark out when Claudia began to wake from her slumber.
A smile hung on her lips, and she felt Garrett’s warm flesh under the tips of her fingers. With her head nestled on his chest, she could feel his heart beat, slow, steady and reassuring as his arm held her to him tightly. Her eyelids began to flutter, and her limbs stretched as her mind slowly returned to the here and now.
Wrapped in Garrett’s embrace, she was warm and content, feeling her skin hum everywhere he had touched her, and she snuggled closer.
In answer, his arm around her tightened, and he rolled onto his side, his green eyes finding hers. A slow smile tugged on the corners of his mouth before he bent down to kiss her once more.
Every fibre of her body ached for him, and she welcomed his affections and gave them back with equal measure, losing herself in the moment yet again.
When her mind cleared, Claudia could not say. All she knew was that the warmth of Garrett’s touch suddenly was no longer able to hold her thoughts at bay. Her mind reawakened, and with it, the doubts and regrets and restrictions of the previous day returned.
Loud and clear.
Almost deafening.
He had a wife!
How could she have forgotten this? How could she have ignored this? It was a betrayal of the worst kind. Not only on his part, but on hers as well.
Somewhere out there was a woman with a broken heart because her husband had betrayed her, because he had been unfaithful to her, because he had taken another woman to his bed.
> Her.
Claudia.
Cringing at the thought of what she had done, of what she had allowed to happen, Claudia groaned, pain and guilt chasing away the lingering feelings of warmth and contentment.
“Lass, are ye all right?” Gently, Garrett brushed the wild curls from her temple, his eyes seeking hers. “What’s on yer mind?”
Closing her eyes, Claudia shook her head, unable to look at him. Then she shoved against his chest, suddenly anxious to put some distance between them. Was it not his touch that made her forget everything around her? The depth of his green eyes that made her long for something that she had no right to want?
Fleeing from the bed, Claudia found her shift lying near the foot of the bed and snatched it up. With trembling hands, she pulled it over her head, seeking to cover herself as the chilled night air rose goose bumps on her skin.
Sitting up, Garrett watched her, his forehead in a frown. “Talk to me, Lass,” he whispered as he rose from the bed and stepped toward her.
Spinning around, Claudia forced her eyes to the other side of the small room. “Will you put something on, please?”
A low chuckle rumbled in his throat before she heard clothes rustling behind her back. A moment later, something soft descended upon her shoulders and she turned to find him wrapping the blanket from the bed around her. “Ye’re shivering,” he said, his arms seeking to pull her back into his embrace. “Let me warm ye.”
“I’m not cold,” Claudia insisted, relieved to see that he once again wore a shirt and breeches. “I’m fine.” Retreating into the far corner of the room, she saw his eyes darken as he watched her, his mind no doubt wondering what had sent her fleeing from his bed.
Anger surged through her veins. How could he not know? Did it not bother him in the least that what they had just done had broken his marriage vows? Did he not care? If his wife meant so little to him, then why had he been searching for her all this time?
“Talk to me, Lass,” he said once again, his jaw set determinedly as he looked at her.
Gritting her teeth against the shivers that suddenly seized her, Claudia shook her head. “I-I need to g-go,” was all she could manage before she clamped her mouth shut.
Stepping into her path, Garrett gripped her by the shoulders, his face rigid, and yet, a hint of fear lurked in his eyes. “I willna let ye. Ye belong with me.”
Staring up at him, Claudia laughed hysterically. “How can you say that?” she demanded, shaking her head in disbelief. “Release me! Now!”
His jaw tensed, and his lips pressed into a thin line. “No! Not until ye explain yerself.”
“Explain myself?” Scoffing, Claudia shoved against him, but his hands held her like iron shackles. “My brother was right,” she laughed, feeling hysteria threaten to claim her whole. “He was right. I have no self-control, no sense of right and wrong. I do what I want, and I don’t even consider the consequences.” Her throat closed up as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Perhaps he was right to restrict my choices, to give me no free rein, to lock me away.”
Garrett’s gaze darkened, and his hold on her lessened. “He locked ye away?”
“He was right to,” Claudia whispered, “for I cannot be trusted to do the right thing. I’ve proved that yet again. Here. Tonight.” Repulsed by her own weakness, her own character flaws, Claudia shoved against him once more, and this time, Garrett did take a step backward, his hands falling from her arms. “Do not touch me!” she hissed, stumbling backwards until her back collided with the wall.
Taking a careful step toward her, Garrett stopped in his tracks when she all but flinched. “Tell me what has ye so upset, Lass, and I swear I will help ye. I’ll protect ye.” His jaw clenched. “What has yer brother done? What has he done to ye?”
Again, Claudia laughed, knowing that he could not understand, and yet, unable to see the world through his eyes. “Nothing,” she whispered, shaking her head. “He’s done nothing but protect me.”
A deep frown descended upon Garrett’s face.
“It is I who has failed,” Claudia sobbed as all her life choices came crashing down upon her.
Running off to Gretna Green with William.
Refusing to return home upon being discovered by his brother.
Ending up in a married man’s bed.
Giving up her child.
Losing her heart to that man.
Perhaps the last one had not been a clear choice, but it had led her to where she was, back to the moment that had determined the past year of her life. “I’m an awful person,” she sobbed, lifting her gaze to meet his. “I slept with another woman’s husband.” She swallowed. “Again.”
At her words, Garrett closed his eyes, his jaw tensing. “Listen,” he said, stepping toward her. “There is something I need to tell−”
“No!” Claudia yelled, backing away. “There’s nothing to say. Nothing to explain. Nothing that would change what is.” Shaking her head, she sidestepped him when he tried to reach for her yet again. “I’m a horrible person, and I’ve done something unforgivable.”
“No, ye havena,” Garrett objected. “Would ye calm down so I can explain−?”
“I need to go!” Storming toward the door, Claudia could only focus on one thought alone: to get away. “I need to be alone!”
“Will ye calm down?” Garrett roared, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her back against his chest.
Staring up at him, Claudia felt her skin crawl. “How can I? Tell me that! How can I calm down after what I’ve done?”
“Ye−”
“You’re married!”
“Aye, to ye, Lass!” he ground out, his green eyes burning into hers. “To ye!”
Shock froze Claudia’s body as she stared up at him, her mind slow to process what he had said, and yet, her heart rejoiced, unhindered by doubt or logic or the need to understand.
Only basking in the knowledge that he was hers after all.
Chapter Twenty-One − A Stroll Down Memory Lane
Looking down into her wide blue eyes, Garrett swallowed, trying to calm himself as he felt his pulse thudding in his neck. “I’m married to ye, Lass. ‘Tis the truth. I swear it.”
Her face grew frighteningly pale, and she remained stock still, her eyes beginning to water as she continued to stare up at him. Then she blinked, and tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. Her lips moved then as though trying to speak, but unable to utter a sound.
“Here,” Garrett whispered, afraid to spook her. “I can prove it to ye, Lass.” Gently, he removed his hands from her arms and took a step back, praying that she would not turn and bolt for the door. Then he dropped his gaze to the floor and searched for his jacket.
For a terrifying moment, he could not find it, and the little hairs on the back of his neck stood on end with fear of what she might do. Luckily, a heart-stopping moment later, he spotted the garment half-hidden beneath the bed. Bending down, he retrieved it and reached into the inner pocket, withdrawing a folded sheet of parchment. Tossing the jacket onto the bed, he stepped toward her. “Here, look at this.”
With shaking hands, she took a hold of the parchment, her eyes wide and her jaw quivering, and began to unfold it. Then her gaze dropped to the writing on the page.
“’Tis our marriage certificate,” Garrett said into the deafening stillness of the room. “Ye signed it. Do ye see?”
From his vantage point, he could see her eyes tracing over the lines written there until they reached her signature. Seeing her own name, she suddenly clasped a hand over her mouth as a heart-breaking sob escaped her lips.
“’Tis true, Lass,” Garrett said, gently placing a hand on her arm, praying that she would not push him away again. “’Tis true. Ye’re my wife, and I’m yer husband.”
Blinking, she looked up at him, fresh tears trailing down her cheeks. “How?” she gasped, her voice almost breathless with shock.
Taking her hand, Garrett guided her back to the bed and all but pushed her onto the
mattress, fearing her legs might not hold her much longer. Then he sat down beside her, noting the way her fingers curled around the parchment in her hands as though holding on to a lifeline. “We met here, downstairs in the taproom,” he began, his voice quiet, almost reverent, as he spoke of the moment that had changed his life. “Do ye remember that?”
Swallowing, his wife nodded. “I do,” she whispered and then turned her head to look at him. “I remember seeing you. Not in detail, but…” She inhaled a deep breath as she tried to capture the memory of that night. “The way you looked at me, it…it frightened me.”
“Frightened ye, Lass?” Garrett asked, a frown darkening his face as his body tensed with apprehension.
A soft smile flitted across her features, allowing him to draw another breath. “I don’t know if I can explain it,” she whispered, “but I think a part of me might have known even in that first moment that I would lose my heart to you.” Almost shyly, she looked at him. “And that frightened me.”
Relief spread through Garrett, and he smiled at her. “I know what ye mean. I felt it, too, as though something had hit me right in the chest. It was painful, aye, but also utterly compelling, drawing me to ye.” He sighed, “What do ye remember after that? Ye said that ye remembered me kissing ye.”
A smile drew up the corners of her mouth, and she traced the pad of her thumb over the spot on the parchment where he had signed his name. “I do remember that. You kissed me to silence me.” A little laugh escaped her, and when she looked up at him, her blue eyes were glowing.
Never had she been more beautiful.
“Aye, I did,” Garrett confirmed chuckling, “but ‘twas not the only reason I did so. ‘Twas nothing but a welcome excuse.”
Again, she laughed, her eyes teasing as she looked at him. “Is that so? And what about yesterday? Then, too, you kissed me because−”