by Eva Brandt
Rose tensed, all desire to mouth off forgotten. “No, Your Holiness. My apologies. I only wish to serve Gaia.”
I suppressed the urge to snort. If that had been the case, they wouldn’t have fought my mother so hard on this issue in the first place. Whatever. I’d told my mother the truth when I’d said I was used to this sort of thing. Nothing the priestesses threw at me could compare to what I’d found at Chimera Academy.
My mother had other standards, though, and so it came as no surprise that, when I entered the shuttle, everyone stayed silent. Yolanda had been tasked with piloting the vessel, so I left my mother’s side—with her silent permission—and took advantage of the opportunity to go talk to Louise.
I hadn’t seen my best friend since that fateful day at the plaza, when I’d almost gotten her killed in my quest to see Sphinx. Before I’d left for Chimera Academy, she’d wished me the best of luck and had seemed genuinely upset by my fate. My mother had said Yolanda didn’t want us to spend time together, but that didn’t mean Louise felt the same.
“Hi,” I greeted my friend as I sat down. “Sorry I didn’t get the chance to speak to you the first time I came to Terra. Everything’s been so hectic.”
Truth be told, she could have easily come to see me herself, but I wanted to offer her an olive branch. Now that she wasn’t with her mother, she might talk to me, no matter what Yolanda thought.
But Louise had other ideas. She shot me a venomous look and asked. “So, it’s Terra now, is it? What happened to Earth?”
I blinked at her in confusion. “What?”
“You used to call our world Earth. But back then, you felt like you belonged. Now you’re Chimera royalty, just because you’re fucking Prince Brendan.”
It hadn’t occurred to me that Louise would be jealous of my relationship with Brendan. Her crush on Brendan was just that, a crush. She’d never even met him, and I doubted she could handle him if they ever did see one another.
I didn’t know how to begin addressing this one. “Terra is still my home, no matter how I call it,” I decided to say. “And yes, I’m sleeping with Brendan. If you’re expecting an apology for that, I’ll just have to disappoint you.”
Louise clenched her hands into fists, looking like she was seconds away from throttling me. It was unsettling to see. She’d always been sweet-tempered, especially compared to me. Jealousy had changed that too. “But why?” she snapped. “You have a whole academy filled with men at your disposal. You’re screwing your whole unit. Why fixate on him too, when you know very well how I feel? Is it some twisted way to get even? Because it won’t work, you know. I won’t stop what I’m doing, just because you’re angry.”
I was beginning to get a headache. If Louise hadn’t been my childhood friend, I would’ve gotten up and left right then and there. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Louise. My relationship with my unit—Brendan included—has nothing to do with you.”
“So you expect me to think it’s just a coincidence that you stole the man I’ve been in love with for years, exactly when I discovered I can become a priestess of Gaia?”
There were so many things wrong with that question that I barely managed to suppress my urge to scream. “No offense, Louise, but I don’t think you can love someone you don’t know. Your crush on Brendan is cute and all, but it doesn’t compare to what he and I have. That being said, do you really think I’d be so petty, to use Brendan as a way to get even with you? Don’t be ridiculous. I hadn’t even known you had Gaia’s Gift until today.”
A few months ago, I’d have happily congratulated her for the blessing, but now, the words just didn’t come out. Louise’s presumptuousness irritated me as much as the arrogance of the Harpy tamers. When had my friend turned into a clone of Penelope Welton? I wasn’t sure, but at this point, I couldn’t be bothered to care. Brendan had made his choice and anyone who didn’t like it could go fuck themselves.
“You’re lying,” Louise accused me. “You’ve always been a liar. I saw the transmission of the tournament, you know. Everything makes so much sense now.”
No, nothing made sense, including her inexplicable behavior. I decided that in this instance, discretion was the better part of valor. I’d give Louise a little more time to calm down. My mother had been angry too, to the point of calling me an abomination. This had to be similar. And if it wasn’t… I’d hate losing a friend, but I’d deal with it.
Leaving my seat, I returned to my mother’s side. Louise didn’t follow me, and for that, I was thankful.
The exchange between me and my friend hadn’t lasted too long, which turned out to be a good thing. By the time I moved, the shuttle was ready to take off. My mother secured me in a new seat and brushed her fingers over my cheek in a strikingly gentle gesture. “Just rest for a bit, Selene. You’ve had a hard time for a while now. You deserve a break.”
Maybe I did, but I would never be able to sleep here. “I’m fine. I can wait. Besides, I’m very excited. Can you tell me what we’ll be doing today?”
She could. Apparently, one of the fields around New Washington had suffered some damage due to a recent solar surge. “I didn’t realize there had been solar anomalies,” I said with a scowl. Flashes of the so-called race in The Fields of Mercury drifted to the forefront of my mind, but I did my best to suppress them. “We haven’t heard anything about it in Tartarus.”
“You wouldn’t. The shields around the asteroid are stronger and it’s not unusual for solar energy to affect us more than they affect Tartarus Base, even if we’re further. In truth, Selene, it’s not a serious incident. It’s just that terra-forming means never-ending toil. Even if we heal the land, it still carries some traces of what happened all those years ago and doesn’t quite have the resilience the old earth did. So whenever there’s a change or the slightest variation in radiation, we see things like this.”
My mother had never explained these things to me, doubtlessly thinking it wouldn’t be relevant for my future. The fact that she was doing it now meant a lot, even if the circumstances could have been better.
“I’ll do my best to help,” I told my mother, “or if you’d rather, I’ll just observe. I know I’m still very new at this and I don’t want to get in your way.”
It must have been the right thing to say, because my mother smiled, and this time, it was honest. “Stay close. I’m sure there will be a lot for you to see and do.”
She was right. As soon as we arrived at the damaged fields, I noticed the illness. Most of the ground pulsed with the throbbing vitality of Gaia’s power, but after a certain point, that magic drifted away and faded into something indistinct and clouded, almost corrupted.
I wondered if that was what my mother saw when she looked at me. If so, it made sense that she’d freaked out so much.
“Well, this is a little problematic,” she said as she scanned the fields. “What do you think, Selene? How would you deal with this?”
Me? How was I supposed to answer a question like that? “Umm… I’d probably have to absorb the tachyon overload first, although it’s pretty severe and I’m not sure I could do it on my own. After that, it would be much easier for Gaia’s Gift to take. I think.”
Everyone stared at me like I’d sprouted a second head. “Tachyons? What are tachyons?” Louise asked.
“It’s a reference to Tartarus’s Gift, Louise,” Yolanda explained. “Chimera Warriors have different terms for everything. They think our notions of magic are childish and immature and prefer to dissect everything using the cold and sterile methods of their science.”
I instinctively bristled at her attitude. “There’s merit in both approaches. Chimera Warriors have one way of understanding the world, and Gaia priestesses have another. That’s not a bad thing and it doesn’t make any of us wrong.”
My mother hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps not, but unfortunately, you’re not going to find anyone on Earth who is particularly skilled at tachyon manipulation. We’ll just have to do it our w
ay this time around.”
Ah. I could see where she was going with this. She wanted to show me that I didn’t need the chimeras to be powerful, that I could very easily spurn Tartarus’s Gift and still make a difference. I wanted to tell her it wasn’t so simple, but it would have been pointless. In her heart, she knew it too, and at least she was trying to give me a chance, to help me accept and acclimatize to both sides of me.
Led by my mother, the priestesses and adepts all knelt in a circle on the ground. Louise went with them, but I was excluded. Since I wasn’t ‘in sync’ with all the other priestesses, I couldn’t fuel Gaia’s ritual with my own powers. That was fine, since I wasn’t confident I wouldn’t fuck things up and accidentally make matters worse.
I sat down on a rock and watched the process with interest. It was just like I remembered it from my childhood years. My mother took a deep breath and pressed her hands to the earth. “Gaia, hear my plea this day, and grant us your blessing. Show us the mercy of your touch and the warmth of your embrace. Heal this soil, feed these plants, mend what hatred has broken.”
My mother’s chant was far more coherent than the rushed ritual I’d put together to heal August. She didn’t use her own blood either, but then again, she didn’t have to.
Her words swept over each priestess, and through her, the combined power of every woman here came together. Strands of green swirled around their bodies and into the ground, digging deep into the source of the corruption.
It wasn’t deliberate, but my mother’s magic reached me too. My skin started to emanate a greenish mist. The rock I was seated on overheated and grew moss at the same time.
A thick barrier snapped into place between me and my mother, so brutal that I almost fell over. “Sorry, Selene,” Sphinx whispered in my head, “but I can’t let anyone take advantage of you, not even your own family.”
On the ground, my mother jerked slightly and let out a sharp gasp. The ritual faltered. Yolanda must have noticed something was wrong, because she took over. “We come here before you, as your loyal subjects, and ask for your mercy. Oh, great Gaia, hear our plea this day.”
Slowly, my mother calmed down. Sphinx’s presence returned to the back of my consciousness and the ritual started to settle. Gaia’s power flowed over us, warm and potent, reminding me of the gift that had allowed me to heal my lover.
I wanted so badly to reach out and embrace it, but I held back. Looking at the circle of priestesses, I acknowledged just how much work I still had to do. And I couldn’t help but wonder to what extent my mother had been right to warn me.
I didn’t want to think my power was corrupted, but something was undoubtedly special about it. Why was I the only one who could wield both Gaia’s Gift and Tartarus’s power? I didn’t know, but I needed to find out.
* * *
August
“Don’t worry so much about it, August. I told you, I’m fine. Nothing happened.”
“No, it didn’t, but it could have.” Meeting Knox’s eyes, I rubbed my eyes tiredly. “This is ridiculous. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Ever since I’d almost died in that blasted tournament, I’d been increasingly short-tempered. I’d lost control of my power more than once and found myself drifting into alarming thoughts. At first, I’d thought it was because of Charybdis’s absence. Her silence was like a giant, gaping wound at the back of my consciousness. It had never stopped bleeding, even if coming to see her dormant, metallic form helped.
My fellow Chimera Warriors anchored me, though, helping me forget about that hole without trying to fill it. In their own way, they all understood. Pollux and I had been through a similar experience because of Stella, whereas Brendan had lost his mother. Knox didn’t quite have that experience, but he’d always been more empathetic than he seemed. And then, there was Selene, who was like a constant breath of fresh air whenever I felt like I was suffocating.
But even so, today, at training practice, I’d channeled a power I knew I shouldn’t have touched. It was Charybdis’s skill more than mine, and even when she used it, the risks were high. If I’d been sparring with someone else—a regular soldier—I could have easily killed him. That thought should have alarmed me more, and it did, but what truly terrified me was the simple reality that I’d turned on Knox.
Fortunately, we had Chimera Flight Training together, so we were able to regroup and speak in private. The others had rushed to reassure me, although I could tell they weren’t fully convinced of my well-being. In fact, Brendan didn’t even try to hide it. “I don’t think it’s Knox we have to worry about right now,” he said.
Pollux nodded, his eyes glinting with concern. “It might be a good idea to have another medic see you soon.”
“And who could we possibly trust, Pollux?” I asked with a sigh. “The ones at Hyperion Base were creepy as fuck. Who knows what they’d have done if Selene hadn’t been there to give us a hand.”
Selene. She was the only one not present, and that bothered me too. A staff member had told me she’d left earlier with her mother, as she’d had a secondary class on Terra. My immediate instinct was to go after her, to track her down. She belonged here, with us, not on that planet that couldn’t truly understand her abilities. But I couldn’t do that, especially not with Charybdis dormant and me still in class.
Tartarus help me, this sucked so much.
“Look, let’s just… drop it for the day. I can’t think about it anymore.”
“All right.” Brendan let out a slow breath, accepting my decision. But this conversation isn’t over. We’ll discuss it more when we’re in a more private setting.”
I nodded, grateful that Brendan understood and wouldn’t badger me about my inadequacies. As he and the others headed toward their chimeras, I walked to Charybdis’s side.
The cockpit was open. Knox had torn it apart to get me out, but the engineers of Tartarus Base had since fixed it. I absently petted the smooth, metallic scales, feeling lost and confused. “What am I doing, Charybdis? When did I become dangerous to the people I love?”
There was no reply, but I didn’t expect one. Nobody knew where chimera souls went when they were dormant, but making conversation with her like this wouldn’t bring her back. The metal was cold and lifeless, and that was the way it would stay until we did something about it.
If The Grand Judiciary was right, to accomplish that, we’d have to compromise what little integrity we had left. Brendan wasn’t happy with the idea and was trying to find alternatives with Typhon’s help, but so far, we hadn’t been too successful. I sat down on Charybdis’s frame and looked out at my lovers. By now, they’d climbed into their chimeras and were preparing to launch. Brendan and Knox had already closed their cockpits, but Pollux was on top of the Scylla, staring at me.
I waved at him and ushered him to get moving. There was no reason for him—for any of them—to linger just because I was moping like an idiot. I didn’t begrudge them the fact that they still had their chimeras. Tartarus help me, if one of them lost their own machines, it would be an even bigger disaster.
One of Scylla’s wolf heads snarled. I couldn’t hear what she said from here, but whatever it was, it seemed to reassure Pollux. He disappeared inside the cockpit, and seconds later, it closed.
Watching my fellow Chimera Warriors fly off onto the training field, I felt some of my tension disappear. Even if I wasn’t out there with them, it was nice to know that they were still ready to tackle any threat. We’d get Charybdis back eventually, and we’d return to the way we were supposed to be.
In the meantime, I could wait and get a better grip on my tachyon manipulation abilities. If I didn’t do that, I’d be a menace in the piloting seat anyway. And while I was at it, I could wait for Selene. Hopefully, her mother would let her come back before the class finished. Leaving aside my own desire to see her, Selene didn’t have nearly enough time with Sphinx. She enjoyed these practical flight lessons and tearing her away from them was unnecessarily cruel.
Still seated on the Charybdis, I activated the largest displays in the hangars. They gave me the ability to keep an eye on my lovers without leaving my chimera’s side. It was a little silly of me, since staying with Charybdis’s shell didn’t help me or her in any way. But for the moment, while I was in the hangars, at least, I’d indulge. After all, why not?
Taking a deep breath, I reached into myself, poking the power that was giving me so much trouble as of late. The fire blazed brightly and for few seconds, I could’ve sworn I stepped into the very sun. An overflow of tachyons flooded my bloodstream and I clenched my hand into fists, doing my best to tame it.
“Come on, August,” I hissed under my breath. “You can do this. You’ve done harder things. What would Charybdis say if she saw you now?”
I owed it to her, to Selene, and to all my other lovers to succeed in this. If I didn’t rein in my power, I was dangerous for them. And considering the fact that, three-quarters of the time, we lived in each other’s pockets, there was no telling what the consequences would be.
At first, I couldn’t find the clarity I sought. The familiar feel of the metal anchored me and distracted me at the same time. On one hand, it reminded me so much of my friend that I automatically felt safe. On the other, my advanced technopathic senses screamed at me that she wasn’t really there, making me want to rave and rage at the world, to avenge her. But that desire for revenge was weaker than the one to bring her back and keep her—and everyone else—safe, which in turn, helped me tame myself.
Fire danced over my fingertips. In front of me, the signal in the displays flickered. But I didn’t lose control, not again.
Through the tachyons in my palm, I created an image of us, of our whole unit together. Me, Selene, Pollux, Brendan, and Knox, with our respective chimeras. Charybdis was once again awake, her long serpentine body wriggling around in delight. “I’ll be waiting for hatchlings soon,” she’d say. “Maybe a whole clutch. Selene is a fertile female. She can surely provide one for you.”