by Eva Brandt
Selene threw the apsid leader a hesitant look. “I think you already know the answer to that question, Great Mother. I want to go back home. I want to see my mother. And from them, from Jared, Brendan, Knox, August, and Pollux… I want them to love me.”
The request was so startling I abandoned all attempts to investigate the nature of my purple cage. “We do love you,” I said.
“There’s no one I treasure more,” Jared offered at the same time.
Meanwhile, Knox and the others made their way to Selene’s side. Miraculously, Knox managed to tame his anger, and when he spoke, his voice sounded gentle and calm. “You’re everything to us. How could you possibly doubt it?”
“I don’t doubt it per se. I think you care about me, in your own way. But assuming that is the case… Is that affection strong enough to make you forgive yourselves and each other? Can we reach a real agreement? Can you learn to fight side by side, with me, not against me?”
We weren’t against her, but I could understand why she thought we were. We’d really fucked this up. Our actions went against everything she wanted, against her desires to help and rescue her people.
My first instinct was to make her whatever promise she was asking for. It didn’t matter, as long as she agreed to come home. But if it wasn’t a promise I could keep, it would just tear us apart all over again, in a way that might be unsalvageable.
“We want that too, princess. And in an ideal world, it would be effortless to have a perfect relationship, one where we’d never fight. But we can’t absolutely guarantee that, at one point in the future, we won’t have to make a choice you might dislike.”
“I know that. And I understand that as a leader, sometimes you have to make difficult decisions. I’m not asking you to never fight with me. All I want is for you to consider every option carefully and to keep an open mind. Not everything has to end in blood, even if it does involve chimeras and Heliads.”
“Selene, I understand what you’re saying,” August piped up, “but this isn’t just about us. Do you really think you can trust these people? Can you forgive them for what they did to you?”
As he spoke, he stared at Selene’s still flat stomach. Like me, he must have figured out that Knox wouldn’t have gotten so mad had the pregnancy been just a threat and not a certainty. But Selene didn’t let that stand in her way.
“I admit I still don’t know what to think about all this. I’m not sure how I feel about the idea of being a mother. I can always end this pregnancy if I don’t want it and the Great Mother says it’s a possibility, especially so soon after conception.”
Jared clenched his jaw, but to his credit, he didn’t try to tell her not to do that. “And will you?”
“I haven’t decided. Jared, right now, I don’t know how I feel about any of you. I’m just… I’m confused. But if you can accept that, if you can be patient with me and with each other, if you can believe that I’ll make the right choices too, I’m willing to try.”
I understood what she meant. She wanted us to integrate Jared in our relationship in some way. I hated the idea. But on the other hand, we had believed in her when she’d asked us to help her at the mirror trial.
Maybe she was right. As much as it grated on me to even consider accepting him, we could at least make the attempt.
I shared a look with the others. Pollux pressed his lips together in a thin line, but nodded. Knox’s shoulders slumped in reluctant acceptance. August stared up at the endless void that shrouded us from above. “It’ll be difficult, Selene,” he said. “We can’t exactly return him to the academy. He’s officially dead and if he shows his face around Tartarus, The Grand Judiciary won’t give him a good welcome.”
“Of course they won’t,” Jared offered. “I’d be the perfect guinea pig. They already suspected something wasn’t right with me before I left. If I got caught, it wouldn’t end well for me. But there are ways around that, if you try hard enough.”
I thought about Penelope, whom I’d managed to sneak out of her home with very few resources at our disposal. I thought about Stella, who had somehow survived The Grand Judiciary’s experiments. I thought about Selene, who needed us so much. And finally, I remembered my father and everyone else I needed to eliminate from my path.
I’d never been a very emotional person, but when I got up and fully faced Selene, a mix of enthusiasm, anger, and love swirled inside my heart like a whirlwind.
“What did you have in mind?”
* * *
Selene
After all the agitation my lovers and I had brought to Eos, leaving the place was strikingly easy. The Great Mother was very cooperative and according to her, she could return us to our galaxy almost seconds after the rest of my unit had entered the quasar. I thanked her profusely for her kindness, since it meant The Grand Judiciary would never know I’d been trapped on the apsid home world for a month.
“You don’t need to thank me,” she said. “You might not be a Heliad, but that doesn’t mean you’re not my child.”
She briefly pulled Jared aside before we left, presumably to give him some final instructions. As we waited, the rest of Jared’s team approached us. “I suppose you win this one, Selene Renard,” Stella said with undisguised venom.
“I wasn’t aware we were fighting a battle,” I replied. “Or at least that was never my intention.”
“Oh, wasn’t it? What did you intend then? To—?”
Danadu grabbed Stella’s wrist, cutting her off mid-sentence. “We know. We’re just concerned about what’s going to happen to our friend.”
“Jar’yd might have been originally human, but he’s a Heliad now,” Kallios pointed out. “He could get seriously hurt.”
“He always ran that risk when he was living undercover at the academy,” Knox shot back, unimpressed. “Were you just as concerned then?”
Viu’an slapped Knox with a massive tentacle. “Of course we were. And anyway, it’s different. At the time, your people didn’t know who and what he was.”
“I understand that,” I replied. I took his tentacle and squeezed it gently. “But Jared has already said he’ll be careful, and I’ll do my best to make sure no one gets hurt.”
Nobody said anything after that. Jared joined us and together, we all made our way to the waiting chimeras. The cockpit of the Sphinx was already open, and she was eagerly waiting for me. “I’m really sorry about all this, Selene,” she said as I slid inside. “It’s my fault.”
“It’s not,” I replied. “And I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lashed out against you so viciously.”
Yes, Sphinx’s lie still hurt, but she’d always warned me that I was too soft-hearted and she’d only been trying to protect me. And at the end of the day, she was a chimera. I couldn’t expect her to have human morals or care about every single person in the world.
In a way, I’d broken the vow I’d made to her, and that was another thing I regretted. But it wasn’t too late to fix it. The bond between us still remained in place. It was badly damaged, but we could mend it. Already, I felt it healing, just because I was in physical contact with my friend.
I relaxed against the seat and allowed the neural link to bind us together once again. For a few seconds, pain rushed over me, but it was muted and sedate. When it vanished, mere seconds later, it left behind the familiar feeling of rightness I hadn’t even realized I’d missed so much.
I clutched Sphinx’s controls convulsively, wishing I could figure out my relationship with my lovers with the same ease. Suppressing my anxiety, I forced myself to focus on the silver lining. “It’s not all bad,” I said. “Pollux was reunited with his sister. And then there’s the baby. Having a baby is always a gift.”
“Not for everyone,” Sphinx offered tentatively. “Are you looking forward to it?”
“To be honest, I don’t really know. I haven’t fully adjusted to the idea. But I suppose I’ll have some time at my disposal to decide.”
Brendan had said that if I
kept the baby, he’d pass it off as his. That would give the child some protection, since no one would try to attack the next heir of the Chimera royal family, even if I was the mother. Or so I hoped.
So much of our tentative plan was relying on hope. Honestly, it would have been much easier to stay here in Eos, where we were safe. But that wasn’t an option, not when we’d left so many people who needed our help behind.
Jared didn’t team up with the rest of his group, instead choosing to hitch a ride in one of Scylla’s tentacles. Once he was in position, the helix behind the throne started to spin. The Great Mother brought her hands together and in her eyes, I could see the birth of a star.
The next thing I knew, we were out in space, and the shields of the Sphinx were going crazy, the sensors screaming in protest at the attack they’d just perceived. It hadn’t actually been an attack, of course. It had been a way to transport us to safety and we’d gotten to our destination in one piece. Brendan’s private vessel, the Venom, was right in front of us.
When we landed on the ship, I half-expected my lovers to start fighting again. I left the cockpit of the Sphinx quickly, ready to intervene if needed. I shouldn’t have worried. They all seemed perfectly happy—or at least willing—to go through with our plan.
“We’ll take you to Terra and if anyone asks, we’ll claim our trip was because we got impatient and we wanted to pick Selene up,” Brendan told Jared. “But be careful and keep a low profile. Selene’s mother might be able to help us, but she has her limits and with Penelope there, I’d rather not dump too much on her shoulders.”
Jared nodded. “Don’t worry. I know how to mingle with the Terran population. I won’t stick out in New Washington.”
I didn’t question him on that one. If he’d managed to stay under the radar at Chimera Academy, as a tamer, he’d be able to fool the Unblessed Terrans who’d never had contact with a Heliad in their lives.
“Do the High Priestess and Lady Welton know about your bolder plans?”
Brendan shook his head. “No, and I want to keep it that way. It’s still treason and the less people know about it, the higher our chances are to succeed.”
“I agree. I’ll keep my mouth shut then and wait for your message.”
As planned, we left Jared in the outskirts of New Washington. As he made his way toward the city on foot, we headed to the temple.
The Venom was too massive to land anywhere near my previous home, so instead, upon our arrival, I used the Sphinx to travel to the surface. My lovers didn’t come with me, having decided to give me a few moments in private with my mother.
“Just make sure you let her know you’re coming back to Tartarus Base with us, all right, Selene?” Sphinx requested. “I wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea.”
“I’ll tell her. Don’t worry, Sphinx. I’ve made my decision and I’ll see this through.”
I fully intended to keep my promise, but it was a little hard to do so when my mother greeted me inside the temple.
She took one look at me and her shoulders slumped. “Oh, Selene. Was it the Sun-Dweller?”
It didn’t take a genius to realize what she was referring to. “It was. I think I’ll be keeping it, although… Mother, I have no idea what I’m doing.”
She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me close to her chest. I buried my face in her shoulder and allowed myself to cry.
In a few hours, I’d have to return to Tartarus Base and be Acting Pilot Renard. In a few hours, I’d have to resume my fight and start mending my relationship with my lovers. But for now, I could just let go and fall apart.
If I wanted to win the battles that were ahead of me, I couldn’t afford to be just a human being. I had to be steel, tungsten, and diamond, like a chimera, and I had to be fire, like a Heliad. I could only hope these tears would wash away my weakness and help me rebuild myself anew.
Epilogue
Wesley
Meanwhile, on Tartarus Base
The moans, grunts and pained cries reached my ears from the moment I walked into the Titans’ Pit. I hid a grimace, wishing I hadn’t been forced to come here today.
But I’d learned a long time ago that wishes were for fools, so I kept my head down and didn’t stop walking. I’d grown inured to the violence and abuse women suffered here. It was ugly and horrid, but it was always a good distraction and kept people from noticing the more dangerous things that were going on.
As I walked through the Pit, I ducked around countless men, some half-dressed, most smelling like sex or lust. In the various alleys, I caught glimpses of the sex workers who made a living here. Today, there had been no alarms, so I assumed nobody had died.
When I got to Persephone’s Plaza, I found things the same as usual. Countless Terran women were lined up like cattle, and various men were taking turns on their holes. Most of them didn’t even eat, as the men here got a kick out of saying the sole food source of the whores was semen. The drones in the Pit made sure the bodies of the whores didn’t give out and they had at least a few hours a day to go to the bathroom, but beyond that, they were basically objects.
I wasn’t proud of it, but I’d taken advantage of their services more than once. Such women didn’t care that I was part machine. For them, all clients were the same, and if I didn’t hurt them and paid well, they were more than thrilled to take my cock.
But today, I wasn’t here for such questionable enjoyment. I had other goals. Beyond the rows of women getting fucked, beyond the crowd of jeering men, a secret was hiding.
The alley I entered didn’t look much different from the ones I’d passed, beyond the fact that it was empty. A few couples were having sex inside, but I walked straight through them—literally. The holograms were only there to make sure no unauthorized individual managed to sneak into our meeting.
After the third hologram registered my presence, the wall to my right parted, revealing a hidden entrance. I stepped inside and cursed to myself when I realized I was late.
The rest of our group had already arrived and when I came in, they stopped in the middle of a heated argument. “Ah, Commander Trevor,” our leader greeted me. “You’re here.”
“My apologies for the delay,” I replied. “There was a minor problem with Charon’s Barge and the staff asked me to look over their systems.”
“It’s no problem,” he offered. “I was merely bringing everyone up to speed.”
“Is it true, Wesley?” Leonardo asked. “Has His Royal Highness reached an agreement with his father?”
Leonardo di Rossi was one of the most important people in our group, but he wasn’t always as well informed as the rest of us, since he also spent a lot of time on Terra. He was the one who monitored the Terran rebel forces and let us know who could be an asset for us and who could be a threat. He didn’t usually question our leader, so I assumed this information had truly upset him.
“It seems like it, yes,” I replied.
“That could be problematic in the future,” Odette Donadieu said. “I don’t know how this could have happened. Pollux didn’t mention any such plans.”
“To be fair, Odette, your son isn’t all that close to you. And it’s not as problematic as all that. Prince Brendan is simply looking out for his interests.”
“It’s the woman, the new pilot of the Sphinx,” Lowell grumbled, leaning against the back of his hover chair. “He’s looking out for her.”
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard it bled. I had foreseen this, the moment news had come of the classes King Philip had organized at Chimera Academy. People like Lowell Voss and his immediate entourage didn’t believe in such things, not anymore, and had run out of patience. If Selene Renard had thrown a wrench in our plans, she was an obstacle that needed to be removed. “It’s not her fault,” I said. “She’s trying to change things for her people too.”
Odette let out an exasperated sigh. “She won’t succeed, Wesley. You know that. There’s no way you can reason with The Grand Judiciary. I woul
dn’t be surprised if we found out Selene Renard is secretly on their side.”
“You can’t be serious,” I answered. “She’s made no secret of her feelings toward the current policies of the government.”
“Yes, but she could be doing it for appearances’ sake,” Lowell shot back. “Let’s face it, Trevor. How likely is that an apparently Unblessed Terran woman would be chosen one day as the pilot of the Sphinx, then wriggle her way into the prince’s bed, and save the life of his apsid lieutenant? It’s very suspicious.”
It was, and King Philip’s recent change of heart made things even worse for Selene. But even so, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Selene couldn’t be an ally of The Grand Judiciary.
I knew her as her teacher and her trainer. I’d seen her learn how to fight. I’d watched her claw through the horrible gunk at Chimera Academy, forcing herself to ignore everyone who hated her. She was gifted, yes, but she was also honest and determined. She genuinely wanted to help.
Unfortunately, I had no proof to support my assessment, nothing the others would believe. But on the other hand, they couldn’t prove she’d done anything wrong either.
“You can’t suddenly kill everyone you’re suspicious of. You’re only making these accusations because she’s inconvenient. Her presence has changed Prince Brendan’s priorities. But that doesn’t mean she’s an accomplice of the government. That’s a lazy explanation and falling into such practices is a recipe for disaster.”
Lowell scowled, but didn’t deny my argument. “That may well be, but the fact remains that we have a problem. We can hardly stage a rebellion if we’re not sure Prince Brendan will be there to support it.”
We were getting nowhere by fighting over this. I turned toward our leader and hoped he’d see sense. In the end, it was his decision, and if he said Selene wasn’t dangerous, the others would listen. “Your Highness, what do you think?”
“Brendan will do the right thing,” Archibald Chimera replied. “He’s wanted to avenge his mother for the better part of his life. And I think that, if Selene Renard is so important to him, she might be included in this plan. But even so, I’m not comfortable with not knowing what her true priorities are.