Until My Last Breath

by Tiffany Patterson

  I wiped away an errant tear, not wanting the boys to see me cry.

  “He’s still healing, princess.” Robert pressed a kiss to my forehead. “He’ll come around.”

  “When, Robert? He’s so far behind in school. And you know what his records already indicated.”

  My husband’s face was grim. It’d been an extremely tough year for our family. Aaron—who was only a few months younger than Carter—was now our son to raise, after Jason and Jesse had died in a terrible car accident. The doctors had said it was a miracle that he survived. Though he came out with some physical scars, I was more concerned about his mental state. Not only did the car accident and the aftermath have a major impact on his behavior, but the huge argument that’d occurred between Robert and Jason beforehand had scarred him.

  “Who knows what that shithead brother of mine filled his head with before he died,” Robert growled.

  My first instinct was to tell my husband not to speak ill of a man who was no longer alive to defend himself, but I thought better of it. Robert was right. I’d seen the bruises on Aaron’s body the night of his eighth birthday. Jason Townsend had turned into Robert Townsend Sr., and resorted to physical persuasion and violence to get his way with a child. And the mental abuse … I didn’t even want to think about it.

  “He had it, too.”

  I turned to stare at Robert’s profile. He was staring straight ahead, watching Aaron.

  “Jason was dyslexic. I assume, at least. Father would always pick on him about it. Asking him why he was so stupid, calling him a dummy and a loser for not even being able to spell his name correctly. I thought Jason needed to apply himself more. To focus more than the rest of us, and that he just refused to do it.”

  “When did you realize the truth?” I questioned.

  He gave a one shoulder shrug, still looking ahead. “A few months after I left Stanford and was working full-time at Townsend when my father had his first stroke.”

  I nodded, silently. About a year after Robert took over as CEO at Townsend, Robert Sr. had a second stroke that ultimately killed him. Carter and Aaron weren’t even one when he died.

  “I noticed then my father had trouble reading. I thought it was due to the damage from the stroke. The doctors had told me as much to my face, but one day I overheard a doctor telling him that the stroke hadn’t caused damage to that part of his brain. Later on, his assistant had informed me that she’d always recorded meetings for my father so he could listen instead of having to read notes. Little things like that started to mount, and I put two and two together. He didn’t abuse Jason simply because of his poor reading abilities. He did it because he hated and was ashamed of his son who’d inherited what he had.” Robert turned to me, his eyes full of sadness. “And Jason did the same thing to Aaron.”

  Reaching over, I rubbed Robert’s shoulder in an effort to comfort him. I knew he was hoping that he could take those painful memories away from Aaron, because I was wishing the same thing.

  “He has us now,” I stated firmly.

  Robert nodded, just before our ringing doorbell caught both of our attention. Robert peered down at the watch on his wrist.

  “That’s Thiers,” he informed me.

  I nodded, knowing Robert’s good friend, Thiers, was coming over to Townsend Manor to have lunch with Robert.

  I followed him to the door, stepping back as he pulled it open. A smile blossomed on my lips at the sight of the man who I knew was one of my husband’s closest confidants. Thiers’ dark brown eyes wrinkled at the edges as he smiled.

  “Thiers,” I greeted.

  “Hi,” a soft voice returned, startling me.

  I lowered my gaze and my heart squeezed in my chest. Standing in front of Thiers, barely reaching his knees, was a little girl with the cutest afro pigtails, tied with red ribbons that matched the red and white romper she wore. Folded in her tiny, walnut-colored arms were two books, which she held firmly against her chest.

  “I hope you don’t mind. Our nanny had a family emergency and had to leave for a few days, so I had to bring my daughter.”

  “Of course we don’t mind. I could use another lady in the house with all of these boys running around.” My heartstrings pulled with sadness for Thiers. He’d been deeply in love with his wife, Jeanette, who I’d met on a number of occasion rights after Robert and I had Carter. We’d became fast friends. Almost four years ago, when Jeanette became pregnant, we were thrilled for the couple who’d had the most difficult time conceiving. Unfortunately, Jeanette died during labor, leaving Thiers to raise their daughter, Patience, on his own. He rarely brought her out with him anywhere, however, opting to allow the nanny to care for her much of the time.

  “Come in,” Robert added, widening the door.

  “Robert, you and Thiers can go out to the deck to have your lunch. Patience can remain with me.” I crouched low, next to the little girl, who stared up at me, wide-eyed. “Is that okay, sweetie?”

  She nodded.

  “Thanks, princess,” Robert said, pressing a kiss to my cheek before showing Thiers off in the direction of the back of the manor where our huge patio was. I’d already set out sandwiches and salads for them to eat.

  “What books did you bring with you, sweetheart?” I questioned Patience while leading her toward the den where the boys were playing. All except Tyler, who was upstairs napping.

  “Dr. Seuss.” She proudly held up the books for me to see. Displaying The Cat in the Hat along with Dr. Seuss’ ABC: An Amazing Alphabet Book!. Abruptly, her direction turned from me to the couch where Aaron was still lounging, staring at the television.

  Before I knew what was happening, she moved from in front of me, her little legs carrying her over to the couch. Placing the book down first, she climbed up, directly next to Aaron, and slid over close to him. Just when I parted my lips to tell Patience not to get too close to him, he looked down at her and lifted his arm, making room for her at his side.

  I blinked, taken aback by the move. I didn’t know if I should pick Patience up or not. Aaron hadn’t been the friendliest person to anyone in the house in the four months he’d moved in with us. In fact, just earlier that day he’d almost gotten into a physical fight with Carter, who’d mentioned something about a book report that was due at school.

  “Read,” Patience demanded, holding one of her books out to Aaron.

  My heartbeat quickened. Reading more than anything was a sore spot for Aaron.

  I took a step forward to intervene, but stopped. A feeling that I needed to let this play out without my intervention overcame me.

  I watched as Aaron shook his head slightly. “I don’t like reading.” His face held a scowl, that even at eight years old looked intimidating.

  Patience gave him a funny look, as if she didn’t quite understand what he’d said. Or if she couldn’t comprehend how anyone didn’t like reading. “Okay,” she shrugged and said.

  I thought she would eventually move over or go on her way, but again, I was surprised.

  “I read to you,” she stated proudly.

  Aaron watched her for a moment, contemplating something, before he said, “Okay.”

  His voice was gruff—as had become his normal sounding self—but he adjusted, placing his arm against the back of the couch, and letting Patience move onto his lap so they both could see the book.

  “This A.” She pointed to the page they were looking at. “A for apple. Say it,” she ordered, looking up at Aaron.

  My chin almost hit the floor when he repeated after her.

  “Patience, leave Aaron alone. He’s not nice,” came Joshua’s three-year-old voice from across the room.

  I waited with bated breath to see how this was going to play out. Another surprise. When Joshua moved closer, reaching for Patience’s hand, Aaron’s hand gripped his, but not too tightly from what I could see.

  “Leave her alone. We’re reading,” Aaron hissed at his now younger brother. He released Joshua’s arm, leaving him s
tunned. “Go ahead.” He motioning with his head toward the page.

  Patience didn’t miss a beat. “This B. B for bicycle. Say it.”

  Aaron repeated her words just as instructed.

  I was so intrigued by what was happening, I didn’t even notice both Carter and Joshua move next to me.

  “Mother, why’s Aaron reading with Patience?” Carter questioned.

  “Aaron hates reading!” Joshua stated loudly. So loud, in fact, that Aaron’s brooding hazel eyes crossed the room, glaring at all three of us before dropping down to continue reading with Patience, who was already on to the letter E.

  “You two, leave them be.” I ushered the boys out of the room and up the stairs to the playroom. I, on the other hand, continued to watch from the doorway. About halfway through the first book, Aaron said something to Patience, causing her to giggle, louder than I’d ever heard from the little girl before. And for the first time in months, I saw what appeared to be an actual smile cross Aaron’s face. My heart swelled up with joy at seeing the little boy, who I loved as if I’d given birth to him, smiling again.

  I had become so enthralled in watching the pair, who seemed to be in their own little world, that it took a few minutes, and for Carter to yell down from the top of the stairs that Tyler had woken up from his nap, and was crying for me.

  With one last glance, I headed up the stairs to tend to my youngest son. After plucking Tyler from his crib, I quickly changed him and headed back downstairs to the kitchen to grab his bottle.

  “Lunch over already?” I questioned Robert as he and Thiers passed me in the hallway.

  “I forgot I had an appointment. Need to cut lunch short,” Thiers explained. “I’ll just go and get Patience.”

  “She’s in the den … reading with Aaron.”

  I didn’t miss the surprised expression that covered Robert’s face. I gave him an I’ll explain later look, and he nodded.

  I proceeded to the kitchen to prepare Tyler’s bottle. I tickled him under the chin just after checking the warmth of the bottle, before running my hands through his auburn hair. I wondered if his hair would change color over time or remain the reddish color. Tyler was nearly a year old but I felt like I was just getting to know him. The weeks after his birth had been extremely difficult. My grief over what we’d lost stole precious moments from what we had gained. Those days passed by in a blur, and then Jason’s accident, and taking on Aaron, had left me little time for my youngest. But we were finally settling into a comfortable rhythm.

  To say I was stunned when I realized the color of Tyler’s hair would’ve been an understatement. Then Robert told me that a few relatives on his mother’s side of the family were redheads. All of my boys mirrored their father in one way or another.

  Just as I handed the bottle to Tyler and adjusted him on my hip, a loud cry reached my ears. I started toward the den where it sounded like the noises were coming from, Tyler happily sipping away as if he didn’t have a care in the world. When I reached the den, I looked between Robert’s stunned expression and Thiers’ look which was a mix between horrified and embarrassed.

  “No!” Patience was yelling every time her father tried to pick her up off of Aaron’s lap. “Go away!” she yelled again.

  “You’re scaring her!” Aaron added, wrapping an arm around Patience.

  Thiers turned to Robert and I, completely lost on how to handle the situation.

  “Aaron,” I began, stepping forward, passing Tyler to Robert, “Patience needs to go with her father.”

  “She doesn’t have to.” Aaron’s sharp eyes moved from me to Thiers. “Can’t she stay a little while longer? She was sleeping.”

  I blinked.

  “Yeah, sleeping!” Patience added.

  I looked behind me to Thiers. “She was reading to him earlier. I guess she fell asleep.”

  Thiers shook his head. “I’m sorry about that. I can’t get her to go anywhere without a book in her hand. Just like …” He trailed off before clearing his throat.

  I saw the pain in his eyes. He still wasn’t over his deceased wife.

  “Well, it’s no trouble for us to keep her while you go to your appointment,” I quickly said.

  Thiers’ eyelids rose then fell. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking us,” Robert replied. “We’re happy to do it.” He looked back, staring at Aaron who stared up at him with a questioning expression on his face. Robert turned to Thiers, gesturing with this head.

  I followed the two toward the den’s doorway.

  “It’s the first time Aaron’s come out of that dark shell he’s cocooned himself in.” Robert glanced back at Aaron and Patience before turning to Thiers again. “He’s not as dark and angry looking around her. She can stay here while you make your appointment, and then you can come over for dinner.”

  I sighed in relief. Robert seemed to get it without needing a long explanation. Another reason my love for him grew with each day, even after nearly nine years of marriage.

  “Okay,” Thiers finally acquiesced. “I’d rather not have my girl at this meeting anyway.” Thiers walked over to Patience and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back later, okay?”

  “’Kay, bye!” Patience waved, and then laid her head back against Aaron’s chest, eyes peacefully closing.

  “I’ll be damned.” Robert’s voice was just above a whisper as he and I watched Aaron flip open the page of the book, moving his lips silently as if trying to recite the letter. One arm protectively wrapped around the sleeping girl in his arms.

  ****

  Robert

  “That was …”

  “Wasn’t it?” Deborah retorted to my unfinished statement. We were sitting in my downstairs office, having just finished dinner with the kids, Thiers, and his young daughter, Patience. Throughout the entire day, since Patience arrived, it was as if she was glued to Aaron’s side. And for his part, he wasn’t too keen on her being unstuck. Not only was it the age difference that surprised me—since when did eight-year-old boys want to hang out with three-year-old girls—but the fact that simply because of Patience’s insistence, Aaron had spent the day attempting to read, or at the very least, sounding out different letters. Something Deborah and I had to threaten to take away toys or video games to get him to do.

  “Even at dinner—”

  “He insisted she sit next to him,” Deb finished.

  I shook my head. “It was almost as if—” My comment was silenced by a knock on the door.

  My head pivoted in the direction of the knock to find Aaron standing in the doorway, that surly expression firmly planted on his face.

  Deborah immediately stood up from my lap, going to him. “Is everything alright?”

  Aaron nodded before speaking. “I wanted to, um, ask you something.”

  “Come in.” Deborah stepped aside, allowing space for Aaron to enter.

  Taking a seat on the edge of the chair directly across from me, he set his hands in his lap, allowing his feet to touch the floor. His positioning looked as if he kept himself prepared to make a run for it, just in case he needed to.

  Just seeing him sit there like that, reminded me of the times where I made a too-quick movement near him and he’d flinch as if expecting a smack or punch to the face or body. I tightened my grip on the pencil I was holding, until I heard it snap. If I could resurrect my shithead of a younger brother just so I could beat his ass for what he did to his own son, I swear I would’ve.

  “What did you want to discuss, son?” I questioned, folding my hands over one another, placing them on the desk.

  He looked around the room, briefly, before his eyes came to rest on Deborah and I. She stood over me, as I sat in the high back leather chair, her arm resting against my left shoulder.

  “I think I should learn to read.”

  I looked up at Deborah; her eyebrows nearly touched her forehead. “Oh.”

  Aaron nodded. “Patience is only three and she ca
n read.”

  He mumbled that last part but I’d heard it.

  “Well, we can make arrangements with the tutor we were talking about.”

  “Aaron, we know this might be tough for you,” Deborah began as she rounded the desk and stooped low in front of Aaron, “and that the other kids might—”

  Aaron shook his head. “I don’t care about the other kids,” he said firmly, a hardness in his voice.

  Deborah looked back at me. I knew what she was thinking. He might not have said it before, but Aaron had indeed cared about what the other kids in his class thought of his reading skills. He’d gotten into more than one fight since we’d transferred him to Excelor Academy, and though he wouldn’t say, we both suspected the bullying from the other children was the main reason behind those fights. We’d even gone so far as to consider having him transferred to the same classroom as Carter, where we hoped he wouldn’t feel as alone. But Aaron had flat out shot that idea down.

  “Those tutors can help me learn to read?” he asked, his voice filled with uncertainty. “I might be too stupid to learn.”

  Deborah gasped at the same time my heart tightened so much in my chest it heart to take my next breath. I’d heard those words too many fucking times to not know where he’d gotten them from. Rising, I rounded the other side of my desk, also coming to crouch down in front of Aaron.

  “Aaron, don’t ever say that again.”

  “But it’s tr—”

  “Don’t,” I said sharply.

  His mouth clamped shut as he flinched.

  Fuck!

  I wanted my boys to respect me but never fear me. I didn’t need to rule my family with an iron fist of fear, humiliation, and abuse, the way I’d grown up. Unfortunately, Aaron had spent the first eight years of his life with a father who hadn’t known any different.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Present

  Aaron

  “You know that was me, right?”