by Lisa Grace
We fall back and Seth takes my hand. He stops me, reaches out, and pulls me in for a kiss. His lips meet mine. Gentle, soft, and warm. My heart races wanting more. He pulls back and says, “I’ve wanted to do that all night.”
“Me too,”, I reach up and kiss him back. We wait for a minute lost in the perfectness of the moment, not wanting it to end. We part, then walk slowly up the trail knowing we can’t linger long without attracting the adults’ notice.
I don’t see the dark presence; I’m not sure if that’s because it’s too dark out or because it’s gone for now. We say our goodbyes at the cabin door, excited about the canoe trip tomorrow.
After lights out it’s hard for me to sleep. My emotions for Seth are enough to keep me awake, but then the dread I feel over what is out there, watching me, causes anxiety too. Every time I open my eyes, I expect to see something awful hovering over me. I keep waking with each little noise. I pray for protection as I sleep. Each noise makes my mind race. The last time I look at my watch by the light of the moon, it’s after three o’clock. I finally fall into a disturbing sleep filled with dreams of large snakes chasing me. In my dream, I feel a hand resting on my stomach. I wake up and realize the feeling is still there. I look and can see nothing but a shadow. It’s one of them. I roll away and the hand moves to my side. Now I’m terrified. I try to scream and nothing comes out. I feel the hand move up my side towards my head. The hand pushes my face firmly into my pillow, suffocating me. I find the courage and strength to scream, “Help me!”
Suddenly, the presence is gone. At the same time, my girls wake up. “Hey, what’s going on? Is everyone okay?”
I reach for my flashlight and turn it on. I say, “It’s okay, someone had a bad dream.” I’m too embarrassed to tell them I’m the one who screamed.
I look at the clock, it’s just before four. I lay back down gripping my flashlight. I don’t know how I can possibly sleep tonight or any night for the rest of my life. I wish I didn’t know those things are out there or in here. I close my eyes and pray. It’s the only thing I can do.
***
At the morning wake up call, my head is pounding. I take some ibuprofen before heading over to the mess hall for some coffee. In the kitchen I hunt down an old dusty thermos to take on the trip so I can have a steady infusion of caffeine. I look for the dark presence everywhere and jump at the slightest unexpected noises. Mrs. Timmons asks me to help finish packing sandwiches, chips, and sodas in the coolers. Mr. Timmons and Jackson carry them down to the canoes. I have sunscreen, mosquito spray, ibuprofen, and the thermos full of coffee in my duffle. I’ll tie it to one of the rails in the canoe so I don’t lose it when, not if, the canoe tips over. I’m wearing my visor and sunglasses, along with my swimsuit which I have on under my oversized T-shirt and shorts. Nothing fancy ‘cause I know I’m getting wet.
On the beach about fifty kids and ten counselors are busy breaking into groups of three to load up the canoes. Seth has volunteered us to take the coolers, which means no third person in our canoe. Robby and Carrie are traveling along with Paige in another. Well, that should be interesting.
Mr. Timmons sits everyone down to listen to the rules. “Float vests on all the kids. Camp counselors have float cushions. Tie anything to the inside of the canoe you don’t want to lose. Put toilet paper in a waterproof Ziploc bag. Potty breaks are in the woods. Use leaves if your canoe doesn’t have any dry TP. Make sure the leaf you use isn’t poison ivy. If you’re not sure, ask someone.” Lots of snickering follows these comments.
“There is a first aid kit in every canoe. Lunch is when we get to the dam. Put on your sunscreen now. Bring a hat and sunglasses if you have them. If you get lost, stay with your canoe. We will find you. If a stranger offers to help, ask them to contact the camp and give us your location. Mr. Davis and Toby are in the lead canoe along with Angela (one of our new campers). Jackson and I will bring up the rear. We leave in five minutes. Have fun.”
Seth and I get in our canoe and push off the shoreline. We wait about fifty-feet off the shore. The kids who haven’t canoed before do quite a bit of zigzagging. We wait until some of the campers pass us and take our place in the middle of the pack.
After a while, we have enough distance that we can speak privately without being overheard.
“Did you get a chance to confirm who ‘Miss Bulimia’ is?” Seth asks.
“Yeah. She doesn’t think she has a problem. I’m going to ask her to get help one more time, if she won’t, I guess I’ll have to ask Mrs. Timmons for advice.”
“Who is it?” Seth asks. I know he won’t tell anyone, but I’m uncomfortable telling him. If I don’t tell him, he might get mad at me.
“Come on you can trust me,” Seth says.
“I know,” My paddle catches on some weeds making it heavier to lift out of the water, “It’s Paige.” I pull in the paddle and clear it of the weeds, dumping them back in the lake.
“Wow, really? She’s pretty. Why would she do something like that?”
“I don’t know. She doesn’t want to talk about it,” At least not to me. “Please don’t act any differently around her, okay?” I’m feeling guilty now that I told Seth.
“I don’t talk to her or anything. I’ve kind of been distracted by this other hot chick,” he says grinning at me. “If I can only get her alone without two coolers separating us.”
“Everywhere we go at camp I feel like we’re being watched,” I say thinking of Zadok.
“Well we are,” Seth says, “everyone knows about us so they’re never going to let us be alone. At least not for a few years until we’re old enough to be engaged.”
“Do you think we’ll last that long?” I ask.
“Why not? I have an aunt and uncle that met in high school and they’re still married. Age doesn’t have anything to do with how I feel about you Megs. I love you.”
I turn around in the canoe. I can’t see anyone ahead or behind us. I climb over one of the coolers as Seth leans over to meet me. I give him a kiss, and say, “I love you too.” As I pull back and stand up the canoe wobbles. I lose my balance and fall in the water. I hear Seth laughing as my head breaks through the water.
He leans over and helps pull me back in. I’m tempted to pull him in, but I don’t. “You look beautiful even when you’re half-drowned.”
“I should of known I’d fall in. I’ve never made it one trip dry.”
We keep paddling and talking as the sun dries me off. When we get to the dam, Seth and I go for a swim. Mr. Davis and Toby eat with the kids on the shore. Seth and I swim across to the other side where there are some big boulders that we can sit on in plain view of everyone else. For now, we stay in the water where we can hold hands under the surface or I can rest my legs on his without being seen.
“I wish we lived closer to each other,” I say.
“Well my parents said they’d take us (meaning Seth and his little brother Sammy) to Busch Gardens this summer. They said we could swing by and pick you up, if you pay your way.” He winks.
“That would be great! Of course I’ll come.”
“We can always go to college together and maybe next summer when we’re sixteen, we can volunteer at one of those summer work programs then we’d have a whole month together.”
Carrie and Robby swim over to join us. “Hey guys,” Carrie says, “having fun?”
Robby comes up and pushes Seth’s head underwater. They start to play wrestle in the water so Carrie and I climb up onto the boulders to get out of the way.
“How’s it going with you, Robby, and Paige?” I ask.
“I like Robby and I think Robby likes me,” Carrie says, “but Paige wants Robby pretty bad. The only reason she’s not over here now is she’s afraid to swim over. Robby’s being nice to her, but I think he’s made it clear he would like to spend time alone with me. She’s not taking the hint and I’m not sure what to do.”
“Robby did ask Mr. Timmons to take Paige in their canoe on the way back. I don’t think she’s
going to be happy about that. In a way, I don’t see why Robby doesn’t like her. She’s prettier than me.”
“Carrie, Robby’s not that shallow. You are pretty. You’re also athletic and you ‘get’ him. You’re more his type. I can totally see why he’d rather be with you.”
Carrie smiles at me, “Thanks, that makes me feel better.” With that, Carrie stands up and cannonballs into the water. She swims over to Robby where they proceed to get into a splash fight.
Seth swims over to me, “Lets race back, loser has to–”, I jump in and start to swim as hard as I can before he finishes his sentence. As I swim I feel a tug on my ankle. Panic hits me as I remember the thing in the lake. I scream. I fight away, kicking as hard as I can before I realize it’s Seth.
“Hey! That hurt!” He says paddling with one hand while massaging his jaw with the other.
I swim back to him, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was you! I panicked.”
I hear a voice yell to us from shore, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” Seth and I answer back at the same time.
I turn back to him, almost in tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He reaches out, “Come here, I’m okay. That’ll teach me not to sneak up on you. You‘ve got some kick girl,” I swim closer, and suddenly he pushes me under. I come up and he’s laughing, “Payback for jumping the gun.” He takes off swimming for shore as I follow in his wake. I’m relieved he’s okay and at the same time I’m worried about how jittery I am.
***
On the way back to camp, Seth tries to tip over the canoe more than once, but the coolers help keep it weighted. I think Robby’s rubbed off on him.
I see the dark thing twice on our way back. Always lurking, watching, waiting. Halfway home, we stop at an inlet where there is a rope swing. Seth and I each take a turn. The water is only about six feet deep, not enough where people can dive in but deep enough to break your fall from the swing. The water is clear here, without weeds. I’m still rattled by the dark thing out there, but I don’t want my fear showing. I have to try to hide it better. As Seth and I are going back to shore for another turn on the swing, I stop. I grab for Seth.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
A sinister presence is attached to the swing as one of the boys, Charlie, gets ready to jump. I see it holding him in place as he tries to drop in the water. It doesn’t let go until he’s back over land. I hear a sickening crack as he lands on a rock. His arm is broken. You can see part of the bone pushing against the skin. Charlie starts to scream in pain.
Mr. Timmons comes rushing over yelling, “Bring the first aid kit.” One of the other staffers runs the kit back to Mr. Timmons. The staffer gets the inflatable cast out, fills it, and holds it ready for Mr. Timmons. He lines the bone back up and puts on the inflatable cast. Luckily, there’s a cabin in sight. An older couple on the porch must have seen what happened. They come running up, “We can drive you to the hospital.”
I look around for the presence but it’s gone. I couldn’t do anything to stop it from hurting that boy. What can I do? I feel so useless. Right now I don’t know how to cope. In the back of my mind a small voice tells me I’m not going to be able to ignore it for long and that I had better come up with a better strategy. My carefree days are numbered.
***
I try to catch Zadok that evening around the campfire, but our team activities keep me busy. All too soon it’s lights out and I just have to wait for a new day.
Going to sleep is a challenge. I pray for protection and finally exhaustion wins. I fall into a deep dreamless sleep.
***
After the canoe trip, I don’t want to give the dark presence an “in” with any kids. I can’t prevent accidents, but maybe I can help curb self-destructive behavior.
Today I’m determined to talk to Paige. I have to convince her to get help. I think she already hates me for knowing her secret. One way or another, I’m going to have to be more persuasive.
Today also starts the last three days I have with Seth. Just being near him makes me happy. I can’t stand the thought that we have to go back to a long distance relationship. The worst part is we live only three-and-a-half hours apart. Jacksonville isn’t that far away from Clearwater, but it may as well be across the country. When school starts, what if he finds someone he likes better? I can’t even think about that.
I shower and get to the mess hall as quick as I can. I miss Seth and want to see him as soon as possible. For once, he’s beat me in. I meet him up by the food. We can’t do anything except talk because of the adults in the room. We take our breakfast to the table and sit next to each other.
From where we’re sitting, I can see into the main dining room whenever the door swings open. For a minute, I can’t believe my eyes. The dark thing is in there. The door swings shut. Seth is talking to me, but I didn’t hear what he said.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” I go through the door into the main dining room. The dark thing is hovering over by two boys I don’t know. Zadok is nowhere in sight.
I know I must go over and try to stop whatever is about to happen. I ask God to protect me, then I walk over to the boys and the dark angel. My hands are shaking so I quickly fold my arms hoping no one else notices. I remember that this dark spiritual force is here to destroy or “snatch” one of their faiths, or to tempt them to do evil. I must do my best to stop it.
I come up and sit on the bench across from them waiting for something brilliant to pop into my mind. Something so powerful and obviously from God that this evil angel will turn and flee.
So of course, I say, “Hi.”
I wait and just look at them. The demon is only about three feet away from me. It’s roiling faster. I don’t want to be distracted so I choose not to look at it.
“What are you guys up to?” They both answer, “Nothing.” They look guilty already. I lean forward, “Look, I can tell you’re not going to tell me the truth so I’m just going lay it on the line. I’m going to tell you a secret.”
They both lean forward towards me. “You’re being recruited right now by the devil,” I nod my head “yes” as they both stare at me. “I don’t know what you were just talking about, but I know it was very wrong and could hurt you both, eternally.” I look from one to the other. “Do you understand me?” They both look at me, nod “yes”, then look back at each other.
The younger one blurts out, “We weren’t going to do it, honest. You won’t tell anyone will you?”
The other one pipes up, “We’re sorry.”
“Remember,” I point at the ceiling and whisper, “He’s watching.”
As I get up to leave, I realize the dark angel is gone. I breathe a sigh of relief.
I’m glad the danger is gone for now. I also realize they won’t all be this easy. I want to talk to Zadok about my encounter, but I probably won’t get a chance to see him alone until after lunch.
I head back into the counselors dining room.
Seth asks, “What was that all about?”
“Oh, I just saw a couple of boys acting up. I thought I’d talk to them before they really get in trouble,” I say.
We finish breakfast. The rest of the morning passes without any incident. Most of the kids are wiped out from yesterday’s canoe trip so we just play fun swimming games.
After lunch, I look for Mr. Z. I’m beginning to feel confident I can handle this talent God has given me. On the other hand, I fear I might not succeed on every encounter and what if the person is evil, not just the angel? Do I have a guardian angel I can call on? There is so much I don’t understand. I know enough to know—I don’t know enough.
Instead of Mr. Z., I run into Paige as I‘m leaving the mess hall.
“Paige, can I please talk to you?”
Paige looks around to make sure no one is listening. She motions me to follow her. We sit down on one of the benches outside the chapel.
I wait for her to speak first.
“Look, I know I have to stop. It started out as a way to drop a few pounds. I just wanted to look good in a bathing suit,” she grabs her middle, “and I always had this flab I could never get rid of. Girls used to tease me in the locker room about my weight. I can’t stop eating, but I can control keeping it in my body.”
“Paige, you’re so beautiful, it’s hard to imagine you think there’s anything wrong with you,” I say.
“I’ve been trying to stop.” She wipes at her eyes and sniffles. “I can’t control it anymore. Whenever I eat, my body sends it back up. I can’t stop it now.” She looks up at me, her eyes wide, “I’m scared.”
I reach out and give Paige a hug. When I pull back I see tears are welling up in her eyes.
“How long have you been doing this?”
“Since I was twelve. Almost four years now.”
“Let’s go together to Mrs. Timmons. She’ll know how to find you help.”
“No way.” She shakes her head, “I don’t want any adults to know.”
“You just said you can’t stop on your own. She can help you or find people who can. You have to try. I saw a show where this can kill you. A hole can form in your throat, then you can bleed to death.”
“Don’t scare me,” Paige says as she hunches over hugging herself.
“This is serious. Four years with this secret?” I take Paige’s hand and start leading her to the main lodge.
She keeps protesting all the way but doesn’t let go of my hand.
When we walk into the main lodge, I see Mrs. Timmons at the main desk.
She smiles up at us and says, “Hi girls, can I help you with something?”
“Can we speak to you in private?” I ask. She invites us into her office and closes the door. I’m in there just long enough for Paige to explain the problem. Mrs. Timmons asks me to leave. At least I did what I could. I’m running late for my arts and crafts class, but it can’t be helped. I hurry over to the classroom and I’m just in time to help clean up glitter. It’s everywhere. Tonight, for dinner we’re grilling hamburgers. So with dinner duty there’s not much to do except carry all the fixings out to the picnic tables.
I look over to the woods for the dark angel or demon or whatever it is. I’m too far away to see any details in the bright light. Zadok is working the grill so I don’t get any alone time with him. A lot of the young boys still aren’t back from a treasure hunt in the woods, including Seth’s and Robby’s groups. I sit and eat one of the first burgers off the grill before they get cold.