by Lisa Grace
“That’s what he says. He could be lying. All I know is if he really loves you, he’ll wait.”
“You’re the only one saying to wait. If his parents give him condoms and mine’s okay with me on the pill, then it’s all right. You can’t expect everyone to wait until they’re married. It’s just not realistic,” Mandy says.
“The reality for waiting is no STDs, unwanted babies, or abortions. I like my reality better than one that includes those things,” I say heatedly.
Mandy looks at me and says, “Don’t impose your morals on me. If Alex and I decide to have sex, we will be careful. I don’t want to talk to you about this anymore. We are going to have to agree to disagree on this subject. I always knew your religion made you uptight about things like sex, but now you’re letting it come between us. I hope we can still be friends.”
I feel miserable. Not only wasn’t I able to get across how important she is, but now she feels I’ve threatened our friendship. “Mandy, I love you. You know you’re like the sister I never had. I just think if he really loves you, he’ll respect you enough to wait. I’m sorry I made you mad, but I’m not sorry for what I said. That’s honestly how I feel.”
The rest of our weekend together is stilted. I can tell we both feel like we’re walking on eggshells. Mandy comes to church with my family and me, but I can tell her heart isn’t in it. I can feel her pulling away from me and I don’t know what I can do to stop it. I feel relief when she finally goes home to wait for Alex’s call.
***
Monday at school, I say hi to Mandy. She waves at me but doesn’t bother to stop and chat. Later, I overhear some of the cheerleaders talking about a party that someone named “Jude” is hosting. Susie notices I’m listening and actually comes over to invite me. “Hey Megan, there’s going to be this big party, it’s at a warehouse that Jude has found for us to use. I know Mandy and Alex are going.” She shows me a flyer. “Rumor has it, there’s going to be alcohol and some other stuff—you might not want to go.”
“Who’s Jude? I don’t think I’ve met him.”
“Oh, he’s new in school. He’s so handsome. You really can’t miss him. He’s getting to be very popular for a new kid. And having a party can’t hurt,” She waves and walks off to talk to some other kids.
I’ve never been one to go to the parties where there’s going to be drinking or drugs. The next day, when my dad drops me off at school we find graffiti covering some of the buildings. The janitorial staff is busy scrubbing and pressure cleaning it off.
A rumor quickly spreads around the school that the kids who did it were caught. One of the kids from school turned them in. Later, I hear the name Jude popping up. Rumor has it he’s the one that turned them in and the video surveillance backs up his story. Jude is becoming a popular guy with the kids and the staff. Later that day I go to the lunchroom, get my salad, and sit with Johnny and Carrie. As I sit down, I hear a bunch of kids start to clap and chant, “Jude, Jude, Jude”. I look toward the door and lose my appetite. Jude is a dark angel. I feel Johnny next to me stand up. I reach out and put a hand on his arm to stop him. He’s the dark angel from the mall.
Jude looks over at us and waves, giving us a big grin. He’s surrounded by a large group of kids almost like he’s a rock star. I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I feel ill that the dark angel has noticed me and saw me sitting with Johnny. I know I’m going to be targeted.
When I enter the restroom I see a Goth girl crying. It’s not a pretty picture. Black mascara is running down her checks and ruining her carefully drawn face. It takes me a minute to realize it’s the girl from Jordan’s memorial service.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I go over to see if there is anything I can do to help her.
“That’s Judas, not Jude! His name is Judas!” she sounds hysterical, “He’s the one that killed Jordan, but nobody will believe me! Not even the teachers. They all think I’m crazy. And now they think he’s some kind of hero. What’s wrong with them? Why can’t they see him for what he is? Pure—evil! It’s Judas without the makeup.”
“I believe you,” I gently hold her by the shoulders. She’s so upset I don’t think she heard me. “I believe you. I know the truth,” I grab a tissue and try to help blot some of her makeup. “What’s your name? Mine’s Megan.”
“I’m V-Vania. It’s short for Sylvania. I’m named after my grandmother from the old country. I don’t know what to do!” She wipes at her eyes and leans in close, “I know, he knows, I know,” Vania whispers to me, “He’s not human. He must be an alien or something. What if he’s here to take over the world? I’m so scared.”
I smile even though I’m scared too. I want to calm Vania down. “Look–I haven’t told this to anybody, because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I’m trusting you with the truth. I know what he is,” I say. The bell rings for our next class. “We need time to talk privately. Can you meet me right after the last bell, in front of the auditorium?”
She shakes her head, “No. I’m too scared. Can I just stay with you?” She looks like a total mess.
“Do you have an English class this year?” I ask.
“Yeah, English One.” She starts crying again. I hand her another tissue.
“Okay. Come to my class, sit in the back, and I’ll tell the teachers you’re shadowing me for a report on an IB student. Okay?”
She nods and gulps. It almost sounds like a hiccup. “Okay. I don’t know if I can write–my hand is shaking.”
“Just do your best,” I say. “You can do this. Now come on,” I head out the door to English. Vania follows so closely she steps on my heels and bumps into my side a couple of times. I hastily write her a permission slip since I have extras from running errands for TV production class. We go into my class, but no one asks to see it.
We get a few weird looks, but our story is so strange the teachers don’t question it. Why else would a Goth skip her easier classes to go to other classes? If she were going to play hooky, she would have left school.
Before my next class starts, I call my dad to let him know I’ll be running a half-hour late so I have time to talk to Vania.
After we have our last class, I take Vania to the bench outside the auditorium. Usually Johnny’s there to meet me, today he’s not. Maybe he’s sticking close to Judas/Jude.
“Do you ride a bus or something? I can have my dad give you a ride home when we’re done.”
“No. I walk home, but I’m too scared. Maybe I could spend the night with you?” She looks at me hopefully, “My mom works nights and Judas knows where I live. I’ve let him in before when Mom wasn’t home. I’m afraid if I go there I won’t be alive in the morning when my mom gets home.” Vania blushes, “I used to like Judas in the beginning.”
“Sure, you can spend the night, and you should be scared.” I face her, brushing my windblown hair out of my eyes, “You’re right. He’s not human.”
“Oh—I think I’m going to be sick,” Vania runs to the bushes and pukes. “I’ve made out with him!” She says crying, “I was drunk.”
“Vania,” I sit down and wait not sure of what I can do to help.
When she’s done, I walk her back to the bench and make her sit. I hunt in my purse and pull out some peppermint gum, “Here, chew this.” I pat her on the shoulder feeling awkward, “Vania listen—Jude, Judas, whatever his name is—is a dark angel. He is pure evil. He’s here to destroy as many humans as he can.”
Vania looks at me in disbelief, “He can’t be an angel ‘cause I don’t believe in God. He must be an alien,” Vania says earnestly.
“Look, that’s probably why he’s left you alone. If you’re not saved, he doesn’t have to try and steal you from God.”
“So I’m safe, because I don’t believe in God?” Vania looks at me like I’m crazy.
“No, you’re not safe at all. But he’s got time to toy with you—because he knows when he takes your life you’re his. Dead or alive.”
“I’m
not his! I don’t belong to anyone!”
“Vania, listen to me, you just admitted you know Judas is not human,” I kneel to speak to her face-to-face, “I’m telling you what he is. I’m not making this up. There are only two kinds of people in this world. Saved and unsaved. We all make a choice deep down. The only way you can be safe is to accept you’re a sinner, just like me. I’m not better than you. But I admit I need to be saved. He died on a cross for us. It‘s your choice to make.”
Vania crosses her arms and looks back at me like I’ve asked her to jump off a cliff.
“You’re saying I’m unsaved so I’m his?”
“It’s a choice between good or evil.” I nod. “It is your choice.”
She crosses her arms, “I chose myself. No one owns me.”
“Look Vania, we can go to your house pick up some clothes. You can spend the night at my house, but my family and I go to Scripture study tonight. I want you to come with me.”
Vania says, “Thank you, I really don’t want to be alone tonight. I have to think about what you said. I know Judas isn’t human, but an evil angel?” Vania takes a deep breath. She looks at a group of kids laughing in the parking lot, then back at me. “I feel safer around you,” Vania smiles.
“Well don’t. Until you commit, your soul is in danger. I can’t help you if you die without making that admission. If you’re sure Judas killed Jordan, you could be next. When you become saved, God helps protect those that are His. Until then, you’re not safe.”
My dad pulls up and gives me a look when I tell him, “Hi Dad; Vania is spending the night with us.”
I’ve never understood the urgency of people becoming saved before. But now that I’ve seen Jude/Judas and know what happened to Jordan, suddenly it’s all become real. Vania is in danger. I can feel it in my bones. Johnny’s serious for a reason. A lot of people could wind up in hell before Jude/Judas is done. I know a lot of people are going to Jude’s party this weekend and he’ll kill them if he can. I have to try to stop him.
That night at Scripture study, I see Vania calming down. Afterwards, I ask her if she’s ready to be saved. She says, “I have some more questions first.”
I say, “Okay we can talk tonight when we get home.” I wish I knew my Bible better, but I just say a prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to give me the right words to say.
***
Later that evening, after we brush our teeth, we sit down on my bed and her sleeping bag to talk. Somehow, even in bedclothes, Vania manages to look Goth. Her pajamas are this black corset looking thing with long black silk pants so wide they hang like a skirt. “That’s very ‘bride of Frankenstein’,” I say.
“Thank you.” She twirls and smiles, “That is the look I was going for.”
“Now what questions do you have for me about being saved?”
“So Jesus is God, right? And He came to Earth as a human. He died on a cross as a sacrifice for our sins–which is kind of gothic don’t you think? Then if you’re sorry for your sins, and ask His death to count for you, it does, right? ‘Cause He never sinned, right?” Vania asks.
“Yes. He died for us,” I say. I don’t want to confuse her by adding anything.
“How come it’s so easy?” Vania asks. “Why don’t we have to slit a wrist or cut off a finger or something? It sounds too easy.”
“It’s simple because it’s a gift to us. We have freewill. We can choose to accept His love and the gift of salvation or we can deny it. God doesn’t want puppets. He wants people who choose to love him.”
“Here,” I page through my Bible and find John chapter three, verse sixteen. I point it out to Vania and give it to her to read.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish but have eternal life.” She takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out.
“Okay. I’m ready,” Vania says.
“Ready?” I say.
“Yep. I’d rather belong to God than the devil. I’ve seen true evil and I don’t like it. I choose to love God.
We pray for Vania to be one of the saved.
The house phone rings. My dad yells from the kitchen, “It’s for you Vania.”
Normally, my dad would not put through a call this late at night but because it’s for our guest, I guess he’s making an exception. My dad brings the phone to the door and gives it to me.
Vania turns pale, “I know it’s him, Judas.”
I immediately put it on speakerphone. We hear a deep-throated chuckle, “I know what you’re doing with your new little friend.”
“Leave her alone, she’s not yours anymore,” I say.
“Judas scores one with Jordan, Megan scores one with Vania. Looks like it’s a tie score. Let’s have a tie breaker, how ‘bout my party Saturday night? I’ll bring the alcohol and the drugs; oh, and you can bring your Bible.” Judas lets out a demonic guttural laugh and he’s gone. Vania is shaking when I hang up the phone.
“It’s okay. He can’t hurt you anymore as long as you are saved.”
“I know, I just can’t believe how close I was to evil and I didn’t even know it. I was so confident I was in control of me and the decisions I was making.”
“But you made the right choice. You’re okay now.”
Vania looks at me in fear, “What are we going to do about the party? How do we stop people from getting hurt?”
I look at Vania, “Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she says.
“Do you believe Judas is a dark angel?” I ask.
“Yes. I mean it’s so obvious now.” She rolls her eyes and bites at a hangnail until it’s gone.
“Don’t you wonder how I know he’s a dark angel?” I can tell by the way her eyes widen that she hadn’t thought about how I would know. “For some reason I’ve been given the gift to see good and bad angels. When I look at them they appear to be glowing. Good ones glow light and the bad ones glow dark. Demons look like a grey cloud.” I continue, “You are the only person I’ve shared this with. You are the only one, and only because you could tell Judas wasn’t human.”
Vania looks at me and nods her head, “Wait, you said good angels glow white, that means you’ve seen one of those too! Can you get a good angel to help us fight Judas?”
“Yes. I think he’s here to fight Judas.”
“Let’s call him,” Vania says handing me the phone.
I take it from her and put it down. “It doesn’t work that way. He’s a messenger of God. He’s here to do God’s will, not ours.”
“Well can we pray to the angel to get him here?” Vania asks.
I shake my head, “No. The angels are creations of God, like us. We don’t pray to things that are created. It makes them into idols by thinking they have power only God has.”
“Oh,” Vania says. Her face brightens with a smile, “I know why God picked you! He picked you ’cause you understand these things.”
“Maybe,” I shrug, “What we can do right now is pray for help. We don’t want to face Judas on our own.”
“Let’s do it,” Vania says. So we do.
***
Thursday morning, My dad drops Vania and me off at school. Mom, Dad, and Max gave me quite a few inquisitive looks over dinner last night when I brought Vania home. They treat Vania like family and even enjoy bringing her to church. I think their curiosity was sparked over how I had met Vania. Because as far as they could tell, we don’t have anything in common.
Vania and I still aren’t sure how we are going to handle the party this weekend.
“We could call the cops once the party is underway.” I suggest.
“All Judas will do is give the kids another location and a half-hour later the party will be going again, so that won’t work.” Vania replies. She adds, “I know ‘cause a month ago I was hanging with Judas, remember?”
“Oh, yeah,” I might be book smart, but I’m awfully street dumb.
“First, we have to have one of the kids
give us directions on how to get there,” Vania says.
I know it’s in an industrial park somewhere, but that doesn’t narrow it down much. I looked at the flyer, but I didn’t take one. I didn’t get around to telling Vania that Johnny is the good angel. She never asked, so I guess she assumed the angel wasn’t a student. Judas, who is now Jude, is hanging with the football team-cheerleader crowd. I can’t get any of my new friends in that group to speak with me. I hear one of them call me, “snitch.”
Later, I see Jude pointing me out. It’s clear he’s turning them against me with rumors. There’s no way Vania, a Goth, is going to be able to get in with that crowd either. I tell Vania to meet Johnny, Carrie, and me for lunch. I have one more idea I can try out.
I go to the registrar’s office and show her my student I.D. and my TV production badge. “Hi, I’m Megan Laughlin, and I’m doing a story on how hard it is for transfer students to assimilate into a new school. Especially for those who start a couple of weeks later. I need a list of the students who came in a week or two late to interview for the story, and can you include their picture from their student I. D. so I can find them?”
“Sure sweetie, but the picture can’t leave the office. It’ll just take a couple of minutes.” The registrar goes to her computer and looks up her records. “Well honey, it might not be much of a story. It looks like we only have five that started after the year began. Good luck.”
She hands me two print outs, one with their names and one with their photos. I glance at the photos briefly, but Jude/Judas doesn’t stick out so I look at the names. There isn’t a Jude/Judas listed. I read through the names again. Nope. I look back at the pictures more carefully this time.
There he is. I have to do a double-take. In the student photo, he has long blonde wavy hair. He looks like a surfer dude. And his name isn’t Jude or Judas. His name is Damon Vincent Lawless. His initials are D-V-L. I guess Damon likes games. Now as Jude, he wears his hair brown and just past his ears in a preppy look. His eye color is different too. In the photo his eyes are brown. As Jude, his eyes are a startling light grey blue and very magnetic. Jude definitely has the magnetism of a rock star. In the picture none of that comes through. He looks washed up. For a minute I think about asking for an address, then I realize that would be as phony as any name or look he chooses to go by. He can appear to be any human form he desires to suit his purpose. First he was a surfer, then a Goth, now a prep. He’s been at his evil purposes a long time. A month ago I knew creatures like him existed, but I never imagined they really affected my life in any way. Now I know how wrong I was. This is real and this is my life.