by Lisa Grace
“Okay, first we have to find out when the earliest day is that you can take a pregnancy test. Mandy, maybe you’re not. Maybe your body is just skipping a month from all the stress you’re under.”
Mandy laughs sadly, “Megan I’ve always been regular and I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life. I thought Alex was the answer to my prayers,” Mandy blows her nose again. “My dream is turning into a nightmare.”
“Hold on Mandy,” I go to my laptop and Google “pregnancy test“. I pull up over ten thousand sites. I narrow the search to date of ovulation to date pregnancy test can confirm.
I come up with the answer twenty-one days before the hormone can be detected.
“Mandy it’s been seventeen days; you have to wait till day twenty-one to be sure you don’t get a false negative.”
“What, what does that mean?” I hear her sniffling.
“If you are pregnant, it takes that long before the hormone that shows you’re pregnant would show up in your urine. It’s going to be Wednesday before we can have you take the test.”
“How am I going to even buy a test? I don’t want any rumors going around the school.”
“Wednesday, after class, we’ll drive out of town and stop at one of the big chain pharmacies. We’ll do it together. Whatever the answer is Mandy, you are not alone,” I hang up the phone.
My worst fear for Mandy is coming true. I pray it’s a false alarm. I’m mad at Farrah and at Alex’s parents for being so casual about sex. I’m mad at all the TV shows where kids have sex and it’s no big deal. Yet Seth and I are portrayed as the kooks. I go downstairs to get a refill on my coffee. Then I go back upstairs to pray for my friend.
***
When I get to school in the morning I find out there was a break-in, and computers were stolen out of the computer lab. I’m sure Jude was involved somehow. Mandy texts me she still hasn’t had a visit from her friend.
Tuesday and Wednesday, I try not to think about what is happening with Mandy. I almost forget about Jude. Except for Jude purposely messing up one of our experiments in science class, he has been strangely quiet. I certainly put him on the backburner of my thoughts.
I worry about Mandy but I don’t dare tell anyone. I know how these things can leak out and ruin someone’s life. Alex is acting like Mandy’s caring boyfriend. Maybe he really does love her and his flirting with Janie was just a game.
Mandy comes up to me during lunch in the cafeteria, “We‘re still on for after school?”
“Sure,” I try to smile. My stomach is tied up in knots. Alex comes over to retrieve Mandy. They certainly look happy together. Maybe everything will be okay.
I talk to Johnny, Vania, and Carrie at lunch. Everything has been quiet at school. I know Johnny’s been dealing with Jude after hours. He never talks about it unless it concerns us. I have a feeling a lot is going on behind the scenes. He certainly doesn’t look happy most of the time.
“Johnny is there anything we can help with?” I ask.
“You’re going to have your hands full soon enough.”
With that ominous warning, I guess it’s best to wait. I wonder if he’s alluding to Mandy, Max, or something I can’t even imagine.
***
I meet Mandy out in front of the auditorium.
“What did you tell Alex?” I ask.
“I told him we were having a girl’s afternoon out shopping since you and I haven’t had much time together.”
“So everything’s okay? Janie is leaving him alone?”
Mandy says happily, “Well, Janie has started dating Drew.”
I say, “Good, that’s one less problem for you.” We start driving out of the parking lot, “Where are we heading?” I ask.
“I’m thinking ten miles north, up to Pasco County. What do you think?” Mandy asks.
“That sounds far enough.”
We avoid “the what if” discussion and just talk about the upcoming Thanksgiving break.
“I think Seth and Robby might come down for a three-day weekend.”
“I used to be so jealous when you talked about Seth. I wanted someone to love me the way he loves you.” Mandy says as she stops for a red light. She flips down the driver’s mirror to check her makeup, a habit ingrained in her subconscious.
I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure about Alex being committed to Mandy. In the next couple of hours Mandy’s whole life might change. I don’t want to think about that yet.
“I hope Alex loves me enough to want to be with me forever.”
“I hope so too, Mandy.” I take her hand and squeeze it before she puts it back on the steering wheel. Mandy pulls into the parking lot of one of those big twenty-four hour corner pharmacies. We run in and get a pregnancy test kit. We get two just in case.
As we go back to the car, I give Mandy a hug because she looks like she’s about to cry. I remember how excited the newlyweds, Aaron and Regina, from church were when they found out Regina was pregnant. They were so excited to tell everyone in church. The whole church and their family rejoiced with them. If Mandy’s pregnant, I don’t think much rejoicing is going to happen. It’s awful how the same event can have such different emotional reactions.
We drive back to Mandy’s house mostly in silence, each busy with our own thoughts. I’m here for moral support. Mandy can trust me to keep her private life private. As we pull into her driveway we silently give each other another hug.
We go in the house into the bathroom. Mandy opens the box, “Here read this—I’m too nervous. I can’t be pregnant. I started the pill over two months ago; I know this has to be a false alarm.”
I read the insert, “You have to pee on the stick for five seconds, no more, no less. The first line that comes up is just a test line, that’s the first little round window. In the second square window if two lines show up—you’re pregnant. The second line indicates the pregnancy hormone is present.”
I hand Mandy the stick. She pulls the cap off.
“Will you say a prayer with me?”
“Sure,” I take her hands in mine and we pray.
I don’t know what to say. God can’t be happy with Mandy. Since I’m sure that even if this is a false alarm, I don’t think Mandy’s going to stop having sex with Alex. She’s too afraid she’ll lose him if she stops.
She takes the strip out, sits down, and starts to pee on the stick. We both count to five. Mandy puts the stick down on the counter. Her hands are shaking.
“How long do we wait now?”
I look at the sheet, “One minute.”
We both stare at the stick, watching Mandy’s future. The first line appears in the circle.
I remind her, “That’s just the test line.”
We both look at the square. One line appears.
A second line slowly becomes visible.
Mandy looks at me, her eyes wide with fear, “What does that mean?”
I show her the picture, “You are pregnant, Mandy.” I’m excited but my heart sinks at the same time. Mandy takes the paper put of my hand and looks at the picture and at the stick, comparing the two. “Maybe it’s wrong,” she says.
“Mandy, you can’t have a false positive. Your body is producing the pregnancy hormone.”
Mandy looks at me frantically, “I can’t be pregnant. I took the pill! I followed the directions exactly. That’s why I got on it. My mom even took me to get it.” Mandy takes her pill pack out of the medicine cabinet and hands it to me. “There is no way I’m pregnant! The test has to be wrong. Here read this, you’ll see.”
I read the little insert, “Well it says—one woman out of a thousand gets pregnant even if they do everything right. It also says certain drugs interfere with the pill’s effectiveness.”
Mandy looks at me funny, “What drugs?”
I look, “Some antibiotics, or if you were throwing up while ill, the pill may not have gotten it into your system.”
“Oh no!” Mandy’s face gets pale… She sits on
the edge of the counter. “I wasn’t feeling well and I did get sick a few times—oh no! I couldn’t keep anything down. I went to the doctor and got on the Z-Pack. I didn’t want to miss homecoming.”
“Didn’t the doctor warn you?”
Mandy blushes, “I didn’t tell him I was on the pill. It’s none of his business. I didn’t want him to know I was planning on having sex. I didn’t want a lecture or the doctor trying to talk me out of it.”
We both look at the stick again. Two lines in the square. Mandy’s pregnant.
Mandy looks at me, “What do I do?” She wipes at her eyes with a tissue.
“I don’t know. I guess you have to tell Alex and your mom.” I try to think of an easy way out. There isn’t any. “Do you think Alex would marry you? He is a senior and he loves you. You could get into married housing at college next year.”
“He did say he loves me. Maybe we could make marriage and a baby work. Alex is coming over tonight. I’ll tell him then.”
I can tell Mandy is afraid to face Alex.
“Megan, could you come over, please, around seven-thirty? Please? I know I should tell Alex privately. But maybe you can tell him some of these things. I’m so nervous. I’m afraid I’ll forget.”
I nod my head yes, and give her a hug.
“I know he isn’t going to be happy at first, but I think he loves me enough to marry me,” Mandy smiles, “It doesn’t have to be the end of the world does it?”
“When are you going to tell your mom, Farrah?” I ask.
“Not till after I tell Alex. If we’re going to get married, we can face my mom together, and his parents too.”
Mandy gives me a ride home before dinner. She needs time to think of how she’s going to break the news to Alex. I ask my mom to please drop me off at Mandy’s, after dinner, on her way to Max’s karate class. She agrees.
I say a prayer that things work out for Alex and Mandy. I’ll know soon enough when I see her later tonight. On the way to Mandy’s house, I’m nervous and feeling nauseous. I can’t believe this is happening. Mandy and I had a plan. We were going to go to college together, share an apartment, and have fun. Now my best friend might be getting married and having a baby.
My mom drops me off and gives me a kiss, “Have fun honey. Tell Mandy to stop by more often. We miss her.”
“I will. Love you Mom. Love you Max. Have fun at karate.”
I walk up to the front door. Alex’s car is still in the driveway. I stand there for a minute, unsure if I should ring the bell. I hear yelling and screaming. Unfortunately, it sounds like things are not going well. I feel so bad for Mandy. I don’t want to intrude, but Mandy might need my support as a friend. I get the courage up to ring the bell. I hear low voices and then hear Mandy say through the closed door, “she already knows.”
Mandy opens the door, she’s been crying and her face is red with traces of smeared mascara. “Come in.”
Alex is standing in the living room, pacing back and forth. “Look, Mandy told me you know. So far it’s only us three.”
Mandy talks to me, ignoring Alex for the moment. “He didn’t believe me when I told him I was pregnant. He thought I was faking it, to trap him. He made me take the second pregnancy test and pee in front of him! Then, he accused me of sleeping with somebody else.” Mandy dissolves in tears against my shoulder.
Alex, though angry, obviously doesn’t want to yell in front of me. “Look Mandy, we’re too young to get married. We haven’t even gotten through high school yet. And our best years are ahead of us in college. I’m not ready to be a dad and you don’t want to be a mom! Come on honey,” He walks up behind Mandy and starts rubbing her arms, “We can get this taken care of. I’ll pay, of course. The sooner we get this taken care of, the better.”
Mandy turns to him, “What are you saying? That you want to get married and you’ll pay for the license?”
Alex looks at her, “Don’t be stupid. You have to get an abortion. I’m not paying child support and we are not getting married. If we do it now, quietly, our parents don’t even have to know.” Alex looks directly at me, “No one has to know. Don’t ruin my senior year of high school. Mandy, if you love me, you’ll get it now. The clinics are closed tonight. We’ll call first thing tomorrow and set up an appointment.”
Mandy’s crying, “Alex it’s a baby, our baby. I can’t kill it! We could get married and live in student housing next year. You can still go to college. It won’t be easy, but we can do it. Other people do.”
Alex looks at Mandy coldly, “It’s a blob of cells, an accident, because you were to dumb to follow instructions. You want me to sacrifice my life for the next eighteen years for your mistake. How can you be so selfish?”
Alex picks up the phone and dials information. “Clearwater, Florida,” We hear him say to the automated attendant. “Abortion clinic.” The machine can’t understand him so he repeats his request again and again, “Abortion clinic.”
He writes the number down on a piece of paper and hangs up the phone. “You call tomorrow and make the appointment or I will.” He thrusts the piece of paper with the number on it at Mandy. “We are taking care of this mistake before anyone else finds out.”
Alex looks at me one last time before he walks out the door, “You better keep your mouth shut,” he says as he leaves.
I hold Mandy as we sit down on the couch and I just let her cry. “What am I going to do? What should I do Megan?”
I don’t know what to say. I believe abortion is murder. I tell Mandy, “You know what I believe,” we’ve had this discussion before.
“What are my choices if I have the baby? Keep it? I don’t want to be a mom all by myself and Alex doesn’t want to help. Put the baby up for adoption and let some stranger raise it? Maybe abortion is the best solution.”
I get a little mad at her logic. “You’re right. Murdering the baby is better than letting a stranger love your baby and raise it.”
Mandy starts to cry again, “You don’t have to be so cruel.”
I look at her and say, “This is a real human being growing in you. You can’t just think of yourself anymore. You have to think of your baby’s future too. Mandy, you have to grow up and think of what’s best for the baby.”
Mandy looks at the piece of paper in her hand with the abortion clinic’s phone number on it. I’m afraid to suggest Mandy talk to her mom. Farrah goes out and parties, sleeps around with men, and gets drunk almost every night. I’m afraid she’ll tell Mandy an abortion is okay the same way she told her being on birth control and having sex is okay.
“I would really like you to talk to my Pastor and his wife about this. They can help you,” I say.
Mandy wipes at her eyes, “No, thank you. I don’t need anyone to make me feel worse than I already do. I don’t need lectures! I need help.”
She looks at me, “Megan, I know abortion is wrong. I just honestly don’t want to face everything alone. My mom’s too busy partying to care. I can’t see her being any help at all. Please don’t tell anyone. I won’t make a decision tonight. I promise.”
I can’t leave Mandy alone tonight without anyone to talk to. I make a snap decision and announce, “I’m spending the night tonight. I can’t leave you alone.”
“Really? Thank you Megan.” Mandy sounds relieved. I give her a hug.
I call my mom to let her know I‘m going to be spending the night at Mandy’s. She can drive me to my house before school, that way I can change clothes and pick up my books. My cell rings after I hang up with my mom. The number says “private.” It could be Johnny; or it could be Jude. I hesitate before I answer. I’m afraid of who it might be.
“Surprise! A bun in the oven. Isn’t this the best? I get a mother and a father to commit murder, and a dead baby. Three more for me. I call this a triple crown. Just like the good old days with Adrammelech and Anammelech. I just love surprises! I almost spilled the beans once or twice. It‘s so hard to keep secrets. Especially from you, Mouse. No wonder
you humans fail at it so often. My Mouse, my pet, my toy.” His voice keeps changing as he talks, sounding like the evilness he is. “Why don’t I come over and make Mandy feel better about aborting. I won’t even tell anyone—maybe. Maybe I won’t tell anyone. But it’s so hard to keep secrets. I don’t know… maybe you can talk me out of telling, Mouse. Oh, I almost forgot why I called. Give Max my best. I haven’t seen the little bugger lately. Where have you been hiding him? Oh, I get it! We’re playing hide and seek. What fun!”
With that, the phone clicks off. I’m worried about Max, but I have a chance to save Mandy and her baby. Max is safe at home with Mom and Dad. I can’t worry about him tonight. Besides, I’m afraid Jude is using Max as a distraction so I don’t concentrate on saving Mandy’s baby. Mandy assumes the call was from my mom checking up on me so she went ahead with getting sheets to cover the couches. We’ll spend the night out in the living room. It’s bigger and more comfortable than Mandy’s room. We plan to watch a movie. Anything but a romance.
Farrah comes home three or four hours after the movie is over. We’re both sleeping. I vaguely hear her getting ready for bed in my light sleep.
Suddenly the lights come on, “Get UP. GET UP NOW, both of you!” My eyes are blurry from trying to focus while I’m still half-asleep. Farrah is standing at the end of Mandy’s couch where she can see us both clearly.
“Which one of you is it? Which one?” Farrah is shaking. She looks angry and upset. I realize she’s holding up one of the pregnancy test kit sticks.
Mandy is still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. I just look between her and Farrah. I’m totally paralyzed by fear. I know I haven’t done anything wrong, but I feel like we’ve been caught doing something bad.
“It’s me, Farrah stop yelling,” Mandy sits up while Farrah sits down on the edge of Mandy’s couch. “I have had enough yelling from Alex. I was going to tell you tomorrow, I mean, later this morning. I just found out myself.”
“Oh honey,” Farrah reaches out to Mandy and starts crying. Farrah must still be a little drunk. Her reactions are a little over the top and she is slurring her words slightly.
“What did Alex say?” Farrah asks.
“He wants me to have an abortion.” Megan starts to cry.