by Goode, Ella
“Couple-grams?”
“It’s social accounts for couples or families. Kind of like the old mommy blogs but now it’s mostly photos of activities with cute captions and hashtags,” Joy explains.
“Got it.” I nod as if I have the first clue—which I don’t, but after tonight, I’ll know everything about instafluencers even if that’s all I’m going to read about for the next week.
“I’m more of a dating guy myself.” Pete winks at Joy. “Nothing like trying out a new car every week, am I right?”
“Every week?” Joy echoes faintly.
“Not into marriage, dates every week. Sounds like you’re living a full life.” I give him an encouraging wink.
Predictably, Pete takes this bait. “Yeah, I got instahots sliding into my DMs every—” He breaks off, suddenly remembering where he is. “Not that I respond to them, of course. We’re just twenty-five, so it’s not like our fans are into marriage either. They want to see us having a fun, lavish life. Otherwise, they’ll just look at their own feed and not ours. Right, Joy?”
She shrugs. “I’m just myself. I don’t have any grand plans. I post what I’m doing every day.” She and Cece share a smirk. “Or night.”
They’re both thinking of their late-night excursion with the plastic wrap. I did see that video on her page.
“How do you feel about pranks?” I ask.
“I like them!” Joy exclaims. Her eyes start twinkling.
“Pranks?”
“Yeah, like Saran Wrapping someone’s car,” Cece says.
Pete frowns. “Sounds very juvenile. My page isn’t about that. I have a certain aesthetic that my fans expect me to exhibit. Sexy. Suave.”
“Sensible,” I suggest. In other words, boring. Suddenly, I’m a big fan of pranks. I’m going to have to do a good one on Joy or else she’s going to slot me into the Pasty Pete category. Hashtag #nothappening.
Six
Joy
Dating is stupid. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to after this disastrous evening. We all pile into Dane’s truck. I make sure to get in the back. I grab Cece’s hand so that she gets in the back with me. She does without question. All night Pete kept trying to rub against me. I watch as Dane hops in the truck and almost leaves without Pete, who chases after the truck. It’s so hard not to laugh. I reach up and smack the side of Dane’s shoulder.
“Fine,” he grumbles. Pete puffs his chest out like he’s won some battle. He starts to open the door, but Dane drives forward a few more feet. This happens three more times before Cece and I are dying of laughter in the back seat. I know it’s not right, but Pete had kind of been a prick during dinner, and I can’t say he doesn’t deserve it a tiny little bit.
Pete slams the door as he finally gets into the truck. “I knew I shouldn't have agreed to a date with you, but I figured since you were on the chubbier side that you’d give good head.”
I gasp at the same time Dane slams on the brakes. Of course dumbass Pete isn’t wearing his seat belt and his head hits the dashboard. I’m betting Dane knew that.
Oops. I bet that’s gonna hurt for a few days. Dane slides out of the truck, not caring that he’s blocking some traffic. He opens the passenger door and pulls Pete out by his collared shirt before tossing him onto the sidewalk. He made it look as though Pete was nothing but a ragdoll with how easily he threw him.
Cece and I watch as Dane walks back to the truck, gets in, and takes off like nothing happened. The truck is completely silent as we make our way back to our place. Dane pulls up into his driveway and puts the truck in park.
“Double C, you mind giving us a few minutes alone?”
She looks over at me, making sure that I’m good. I give her a nod, letting her know that I can handle myself. I don’t have to say anything before she’s eagerly getting out of the truck. I climb out right behind her.
“Thanks for the dinner and entertainment, Big D.” She gives me a hug before she’s on her way. I purse my lips. I want them to get along, but not this much.
“So I’m guessing we shouldn’t go on any more double dates.” I try and tease. “At least it will be a good post for social media. They are going to eat this up.” I glance over at Dane. “Shouldn't you be walking your Double C to her car or something? She was your date, after all. You don’t need privacy with me, you need it with her.” I tilt my chin up in defiance.
“Baby, don’t be like that.” He pulls me into his side. “You know I want you. Everyone knows I want you. Even your own best friend is pushing for this.”
I unlock my door, and he lets himself right in. His cockiness that would have me smacking other men only turns me on when he does it.
“That Pete guy was an asshole. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do. Doesn't mean the words don’t still sting.”
“Your curves were the first thing I noticed.”
“Was that why you were a jerk the first day?”
“Not gonna lie, baby. You’re the one and only person that can get me flustered. It’s a new feeling for me.” He takes a step closer to me. I lick my lips, wondering if he’s going to kiss me. He’s the enemy, I remind myself. The enemy who saved me from a terrible date. But still the enemy.
“Would it really be so bad if you kissed me? Aren’t you supposed to keep your enemies closer?”
“I have a thing for jerks. I’m the worst when it comes to picking a guy to date. It’s embarrassing how many first dates I’ve actually been on.”
“Really don’t want to talk about other men you’ve been with.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay, Mr. Double C, putting your arm behind her chair.” I poke his chest. This time it’s me that clears the space between us.
“Fuck me. Do you always look this good when you get pissed?”
I glare at him. He only smiles bigger. “You’re the only woman I want. I went on that date to make sure dipshit Pete would keep his hands to himself.”
“I know.” I drop my head. “You proved that I want you and it worked.”
“You’re not choosing this time, baby. I’m the one choosing, and I choose you.”
I let out a small laugh. “Not sure it works that way.”
“It will,” he says before he lifts me off the floor and pins me to a wall. His mouth comes down on mine as his tongue takes what it wants, sneaking past my lips. I open for him. He rocks us so that his cock hits me just where I need it as he keeps on kissing me.
My fingers dig into his shirt, wanting more. We should be naked. In my bed with nothing between us. The thought makes me whimper with need.
“Give it to me, baby. Come for me.”
Those simple words have me coming undone in his arms. I cry out as the immense pleasure courses through me. When I’m spent, I rest my head onto his shoulder. Even though I just came, I want more.
“Take me to my room. Stay the night.” Before he can respond, one of his phones goes off. He has two, a personal one and a work one. He slowly puts me down on my feet.
“I’ve got to answer.”
“I know.” He’s not on the phone long, but I already know before he says anything that he’s not going to be able to stay.
“Fuck.” He kisses me hard this time like he’s branding me. His hand cups my sex. “No more dates.” I nod in agreement. “I’ll call when I can.” With one last kiss, he’s out the door. I was supposed to seduce him. I think he might be the one that’s seducing me.
Seven
Dane
“I saw you went on a double date last night with our instafluencer.”
I turn over the pork chops before glaring at my brother. “She’s not our anything. She’s mine.”
“Already laying claim,” calls Bells from her space on the lounger. “Do you plan to inform Joy of this or just move into her home and hope she doesn’t kick you out?”
“I hadn’t considered that move, but if it works, I promise to name our firstborn after you.”
“Even if it’s a boy?”
“Especially if it’s a boy,” I declare. Bells and Mick’s kid is a girl, and they’re naming her after Bells’ mother, Violetta, which is a fucking awesome name.
“I’m glad you got over your awkward stage. It was painful as your sister-in-law to watch you fumble the ball so badly.”
“She nearly gave birth early.” Mick nods sagely.
“One day you aren’t going to be pregnant, Bells.” I shake the tongs in her direction.
She play gasps and clasps a hand to her heart. “I am full of fear at your fury. Mick, save me.”
My brother rushes to her side and falls to his knees. “I am but a worm under your shoe, my dear. What can I do for you?”
I turn away in disgust. “This is exactly why I never visit you and why you have no friends but me.”
“We have lots of friends!” shouts Bells. “My phone is full of texts from people begging to come and visit, but I’ve turned them all away except for you, you ungrateful wretch.”
“Wretch? You spend way too much time reading the dictionary app.” I fold some foil over the meat and close the lid to the barbecue. The meat should be done in ten minutes. I set a timer on my watch and plop down into the lawn chair.
“What else is there to do? I’m bedridden. Now tell me all about your date before I have Mick strangle you.”
My brother, who is sitting on the cement next to Bells’ lounger, nods silently. He probably would kill me. Once he met Bells, all notions of brotherly loyalty got trampled on his way to her side. I don’t mind, though. Their bond is something to be envied. I’d like that for myself.
“She’s got a roommate.”
“Cece,” interjects Bells.
“Yes, Double C.”
“She has a nickname?” Mick turns to his wife. “Does Joy use that?”
Bells scrunches her face and tries to remember. “I don’t think so.”
“I made it up.”
“You did what?” Bells is appalled. I can tell she’s serious by the way her face has gone totally blank. She struggles into an upright position, which causes Mick to send a scowl in my direction. Confused, I get up to check on the pork.
“I made it up. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s Joy’s nickname?”
“I didn’t give her one. Her name is perfect.”
“And Cece’s isn’t?”
This conversation sounds vaguely familiar. I plate up the pork and bring it over to the low table situated by Bells’ lounger. “Okay, tell me what I did wrong.”
“You gave the other woman a nickname but not Joy. Was she mad at you?” Bells takes a plate of cut up meat from her husband.
“She didn’t act like it. In fact, she gave me a pretty happy kiss good night and things might have gone further if I didn’t get a call to pick up a skip.” Happy kiss good night was downplaying it. She came in my arms, and it was a beautiful thing. I look forward to repeating it again and again. In fact, there will be a time soon where I won’t start the day without her coming on my fingers, tongue, or dick. I smile before taking a bite of my meat. That’s not too far off in the future, either. Like tomorrow, maybe.
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t like it if Mick made up a name for a woman but not for me. It would mean he liked her more than me.”
The pork suddenly tastes dry. “How does that compute?”
“It just does, and don’t say I’m being irrational.”
“Don’t insult my wife, asshole,” Mick pipes up.
“I didn’t say anything!” I set down my plate and lean forward. “Bells, come on, are you really suggesting because I made up a nickname for her roommate that Joy thinks I’m into Double—I mean, Cece? Neither of them acted like that last night.”
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d keep an eye out for that.”
I pick up my plate again. “Easy solution. I just won’t talk to the roommate anymore.”
“No, no, no.” Bells shakes her head. “You can’t do that. You have to strike the right balance between being nice to the roommate and not making Joy jealous. Unless…” She pauses. “Is that what you’re trying to do?”
“Why would I do that? Seems complicated. I just want to be a good neighbor by supplying everything that Joy needs.” I wiggle my brows. “I don’t have to spell it out for you, right?”
“Please do not,” Mick inserts.
“No, actually, tell me all the details,” Bells teases.
When I return home after dinner, I pause in the driveway and glance at the darkened windows of Joy’s home. The earlier conversation about how my actions with Cece might have planted a seed of doubt in Joy’s mind bothers me, but I don’t really know what to do about it now. The past is past. Joy has to know that it’s her that I’m interested in. I wasn’t interested in any other pussy than Joy’s, and she’s got to know that by now.
I heft the bag that holds the supplies I bought at the party store. If Joy had doubts before about where my feelings were, this should resolve them. She wants a prank war because she thinks it’s fun and it’ll give her good content for her social media account. Quietly, I climb onto the front porch and then get to work. The small rubber spiders are placed in a net above the doorway. A string tied in a release knot is attached to the doorknob. Theoretically, when she opens the door, the spiders will rain down on her head. The instructions on the web said I should be sure to catch this on camera, which makes perfect sense because how else will she have the content for her feed?
Once I’m done setting everything up, I head to my house for some shut-eye. I want to make sure I’m up early enough so I don’t miss any of the action. Everyone has a different love language, and pranks must be Joy’s. I hope she gets the message that it’s her I’m interested in and not Cece.
Eight
Joy
I stare at my phone, willing Dane to text me. I haven’t heard a peep from him since last night. He had kissed me as though he were starved for me, made me come, and then left. From what I overheard, it sounded as though he got a call from work. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but I understood. I had thought that he’d at least send a text once he got home. Or that maybe he’d call today.
That man is so frustrating. I don’t even know why I’m obsessing over him. He has his own life. Maybe I should bite the bullet and send him a text. I could ask if he wants to come over. I still feel on edge since he left last night. I’d wanted more. I tried to relieve myself, but it wasn't the same. My body now aches for his touch alone. Which is crazy considering I barely know him.
My mind begins to race with all the reasons as to why he hasn’t reached out to me today. What if he got hurt? He is a bounty hunter. Cece and I watched one of those reality shows about a bounty hunter and that job is no joke. It’s scary. He could be on a chase for all I know. Or he could also be over me. I've been driving myself crazy all day thinking about the what ifs. I should walk over there and knock on his door. He might not even be home.
What would I say if he answered? Hey, it’s me. I’ve been obsessing about you for the last 24 hours. That would be a sure way to scare him off. I read some blog posts, and some people wait three days before they make a move. Why three? That seems like an awful long time. I can’t do this for another three days. I want it now. He did this to my body. My brain too! He’s turned me into a crazy person. Fine, I might have already been headed there, but he definitely sped up the process.
I grab my phone, heading for my front door. I wasn’t going to obsess over this for another second. In fact, I think this could be a good post. My followers will get to see that it’s okay for a woman to make the next move. Well, it’s an after move because he already dry humped me, then ordered that I orgasm. He’d actually ordered me to come and my body did. Then he bailed.
All I want to know is if he has changed his mind about us. It’s fine if he did. All he has to do is tell me. I’m a grown-up, I can take it. I don’t need these head games. I can’t live like this. I’m going to
do the mature thing. I’m going to knock on his door and ask him if he’s changed his mind. If he says yes, then I’ll just walk away.
Who am I kidding? I’ll be on a dating app before I even walk the short distance back to my house. I’ll have someone come pick me up for a date tomorrow night. That part of the plan isn't really mature. I know Cece will be onboard with it. I’d be running all of this past her right now if she weren’t currently out on a date.
I open my front door to head over to Dane’s. I scream when I feel something fall onto me from above. But the first scream I let out is nothing compared to the ear-piercing one that leaves me when I see spiders. I start to panic. My arachnophobia is no joke. Dane’s door flies open. I try to shake them off. That’s putting it mildly. “Spiders!” I tell him. He grabs me, pulling into his arms. I wrap myself around him. “Spiders.” I repeat. “Are they still on me?”
“No, they’re—”
I burst into tears before he can finish his sentence. He carries me into his apartment. I cling to him, unable to let go. He sits down with me in his lap. I sniff and maybe I rubbed my nose against his shirt so I wasn't all snotty.
“You have a fear of spiders?”
“Fear is putting it lightly,” I admit. It’s irritating, I know that, but still when I see one I get freaked out. I can’t even kill them because I think they’ll jump on me when I’m trying to get to them.
“Fuck, baby, stop crying. You’re killing me.”
I lift my head to look at him. “You didn't call or text me all day.” I sniffle again.
“I had dinner with my brother and then I might have put fake spiders outside your door to prank you.”
I stare at him. I don’t know if I want to choke him or kiss him. He was getting me back for the Saran Wrap. “Doesn't explain why you haven't talked to me all day,” I huff.
“I didn't want to come on too strong. You seem to spook easily.”