by E. M. Moore
I cock my head. “Are you serious? I know you’re not weak, Johnny. Your father is beating you.”
“That makes it sound worse.” He lays his head against the back of the cushion.
“How long has he been hitting you, Johnny?”
His face closes off. For a moment, I don’t think he’s going to answer, but then he opens his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. “On and off since I was a kid. Only when I would piss him off, not do something right. My dad knows violence, Kyla. That’s how he speaks. It’s his language, and it’s served him well over the years. He thought it would work well for me too.”
“It’s not right.”
“I know that...,” Johnny says, and it’s as if he’s left the word now off the end of that sentence on purpose. “I just don’t want you to think I can’t handle this.”
I pick his hand up, kissing his knuckles like he always does to me. “Sometimes, the strong thing to do is to lean on people. You don’t have to be a macho man all the time. You can have different facets of your personality other than ruthless son of a gangster,” I tell him. “I know you don’t trust Brawler and Oscar, but they’re here to help us.”
“Help you, you mean?”
I shake my head. “Both of us. All of us.”
Johnny eyes me with uncertainty. “Been here a few months and already found people who’ll lay down their lives for you.”
Embarrassment barrages my cheeks. “No one’s laying down their lives,” I tell him. “Be straight with me.” I hold his gaze. “I’ll give you a truth if you give me one back. No getting angry.”
“Sometimes the truth is the hardest,” Johnny says.
I nod knowingly. The truth can hurt worse than lies sometimes. I swallow because what I want to tell Johnny right now could rip him from me. He’s only known allegiance to his father and the Crew, but he has to see that he can’t live like that anymore. “My truth is… I think you deserve better than your father.”
Johnny’s body locks up as if he’s a mechanical part in a working cog that’s frozen in place, refusing to work. Slowly yet surely, he relaxes, and with each breath he takes toward deflating, my heart rate returns to normal. “That’s my truth, too,” he admits.
The pain in his eyes is very real. “My father is my everything, Kyla. I understand it took a lot for you to say that to me. You feared how I would react, and you have every reason to. People have died for lesser infractions.” He pauses for a moment. “I didn’t see it until you. I thought my life was one gang problem to the next. An endless succession of things that needed to be fixed for the good of the Crew. You showed me something different. You showed me what life could be like. You showed me what love is supposed to be.” His lip trembles, and he bites down on it like he can’t stand for me to see the vulnerable side of him. Little does he know I want to see all his parts. The vulnerable part of him only makes me believe he can be saved. That he deserves it, and that I would do anything to give that to him. “Going against my father upheaves everything I’ve ever been taught. It feels so wrong in here, Kyla,” he says, pulling his other hand up to his chest, placing his palm over his heart. “My head is telling me one thing, but my heart is telling me another.” He licks his lips. “My head is whispering traitor. Traitors get gutted. Traitors don’t deserve to live. It’s only my heart that says anything differently.”
I kiss his knuckles again. “I think you should listen to your heart more often.”
He shakes his head. “My father...” He clears his throat and starts again. “My father...I know he acts tough, but if he ever heard the words I just said, it would be like stabbing him in the heart. He’s wanted me by his side since I was a little kid. It’s all he’s ever talked about.” He glances over. “You sure you don’t want to leave? I can’t get out Kyla. It would kill him, but you can.”
I bring his hand to my lap and stroke my fingers up and down his arm. “I’m never changing my mind about that, Johnny Marx, so you can stop asking. When you’re ready to leave, I’m ready to leave.”
“There’s no saving me. I see it in your eyes. I know that’s why you want me to work with your friends. I’ve done too much fucked up shit. The only life I’ll know is this.”
“I refuse to believe it.”
He gives a quick shake of his head. “This is my life.”
“The gang itself isn’t all bad,” I tell him, trying to reason. “Maybe you could make it better. Maybe you could...”
He’s already waving my thoughts away. “He’s ruined me.”
“Fuck that,” I growl. “You’re not giving up.”
Johnny wraps his hand around the back of my neck, squeezing a little. It doesn’t hurt. In fact, it does the opposite. I lick my lips as need burns through me.
“My father has shit on me. He has shit on everyone in the Crew. That’s why no one gets away, Kyla.”
“You could change it.”
“He’d have to die, and that’s not happening. He’s the most protected man in the Heights, and he’s still my father. Family has to mean something.”
I worry over my lip and cuddle in next to him. He lifts his arm so I can get closer, even though I’m careful not to touch his bruised ribs.
In a way, I understand what he’s saying. I would do anything for my family. Hell, I am doing anything for my family. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m making amends. I’m getting them justice.
As far as Johnny’s concerned, he’s doing the same. He’ll stick with his father until his father does something irredeemable. Something Johnny won’t be able to look past. Not even a black eye and some bruised ribs can convince him, so I don’t know what it will take to get him to see that Kingston Marx is not his family. Family doesn’t treat each other like that.
Somewhere deep inside, I think he knows that. But maybe like I think Johnny can be saved, he thinks his father can, too.
I lay my head on his shoulder, knowing K will never get that far. Even if he could, I’m not allowing him the chance. Just like he didn’t give my parents.
20
The next morning, Johnny and I discuss my return to school as we sit on the couch after breakfast. We decide I should wait until after the fight is over. It’s only another week, and I can keep up with my studies through the online schooling anyway, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Somehow, schooling just doesn’t seem as important when bombs are going off and bullets are whizzing over my head.
Instead, we decide it’s more important that I train with Jax and Finn while he calls a meeting with the Candy’s workers to get that up and running as a nightclub facility again. “Be careful,” Johnny tells me, squeezing my fingers. “Call me if something happens. Anything. I want to know about it.”
“Don’t worry,” I tell him, knowing he has a bunch of shit on his plate. “Do what you have to do. Mag, Brawler, and Oscar will be there with me. Not to mention Finn and Jax. I’ll be surrounded by a bunch of badasses.”
Johnny smiles, shaking his head in disbelief. “How you got so many people on your side in such a short amount of time is mind-blowing. Finn jumped at the chance to see you when you were away you know.”
I give him a teasing smile. “I’m just that good, I guess.”
He reaches his hand around to cup my ass over my tight training pants, bringing me close to him in a possessive move. “Mmm, that you are.” He bites my earlobe and gives it a playful tug.
My breath whooshes out of my chest. Now that Johnny and I have taken our relationship to the next step, I can’t stop thinking about it. “Keep that up, and neither one of us is going anywhere for another hour or so.”
Chuckling, he kisses a trail down my neck, nuzzling me and breathing me in. He pauses before trailing his lips over my sports bra straps until he hits my collarbone. “I don’t know. I think I should send you off with something.”
As amazing as that sounds… “Magnum will be here any minute.”
He cuts my excuse off, placing his hand between my legs where he strokes me through
my pants. I buck into his grip. “Magnum can wait,” he breathes. He pulls my shirt over my head, then unclasps my sports bra in the back, pulling the cups away until I’m bare before him. He stares at me in wonder, his finger still igniting the fire inside me as he passes it over my inseam. He leans over, sucking my nipple into his hot mouth. He sucks and tortures it with his tongue until breathy moans escape me.
Johnny bypasses my pants and panties, sneaking his hand inside to find me wet, easily pushing a finger between my folds.
My pussy involuntarily clenches around him, and he curses. With his free hand, he pulls my pants and panties down, then leans me back onto the couch cushion as he spreads my knees, opening me to him. He watches me as he pushes his finger inside again and again, and I drop my head back to the leather. “I’m going to taste you until you cream in my mouth.” He crooks his finger, and I buck off the leather, searching for him.
He tugs his finger out, then places my legs over his shoulders as he yanks me forward, right into his hot mouth. I cry out as he caresses his tongue over my sensitive nub, and I’m lost.
I run my hands through his hair, then grab the back of his head, holding him to me, keeping his mouth right where I want it. “You taste as sweet as sin.”
He presses against my nub, then groans until the vibrations set sparks afire inside me. “Johnny,” I breathe out, my moans mixing with his.
He gives me everything I need, licking, sucking, and moaning as if he’s eating his favorite meal. “These beautiful breasts. This perfect pussy.”
Pleasure rockets through my body at every caress of his expert tongue. I urge him on, my snippets of praise invoking his deft kisses. Johnny lifts his hand to tease my nipple, and I squirm. He pulls me closer to his face in a slow, methodical grind while his tongue never lets up. It’s as if he’s making me fuck his face with his slow, sensual rhythm. “God, you’re so good at this,” I pant because hot damn he deserves the praise.
A knock sounds on the door. I tense, but Johnny continues moving me forward in easy strokes with a solid hand to the small of my back until he turns his head briefly. “Give us ten!”
“Ten,” I choke out. “I’m—” He squeezes my nipple, and I explode. I let out a cry I haven’t heard before as he assaults me with his tongue, riding my orgasm out until the pleasure is just too much. He doesn’t let me pull away though. He keeps at it until I’m coming again. “Johnny!” Wave after wave crashes over me. I’m helpless in the undertow, a place I wouldn’t mind staying if people weren’t waiting on us. Eventually, the pleasure subsides, and I manage to pull back enough.
He lifts his heated gaze to me. His swollen, lush, liquid-dipped lips smile at me as he darts his tongue out and licks the coating right off him. He looks like a sex-crazed fiend with the way I’ve mussed his hair.
He shifts, dropping a kiss to my pubic bone before standing and dragging me to my feet with him. He pulls up my panties and athletic pants before I can protest. “Mag’s waiting,” he grins. He hands me my sports bra, and as soon as I have it clasped, he pulls the shirt I had on back over my head.
He doesn’t even wipe his face before he moves toward the door. I hurriedly pull my hair up into a ponytail again, sure that the hair I’d had looked like we’d just went at it. I mean, I certainly took the ride of my life.
Johnny invites Mag into the apartment while I’m still buzzing from the high. My breath still hasn’t returned to normal, so I turn to grab my small bag that has a change of clothes, water, and protein bars in it. I don’t look at anyone before I try to escape, but before I can slip past him, Johnny pulls me into a hug from behind, plastering my body against his hard-on. He presses it into me with Mag watching. “Think about that while you’re training, babe.”
He’s probably ruined me for the rest of the day. I won’t be able to think about anything else, and Jax is definitely not going to take sex as a reason why I’m distracted.
“I’ll be nursing a semi the whole time you’re gone.”
I bite my lip to keep from moaning, especially since Mag’s intense gaze slides over me. He finally looks away, the corded veins in his neck pulling taut.
Johnny squeezes my ass. “Have a good time.”
He lets me go, and I walk out the door in front of Magnum. We ride the elevator down in silence while I try to get my breathing under control. We even get into the car without a word said. I pull my seatbelt around and lock it, and that’s when Mag sighs. “I heard you through the door.”
I peek over at his lap. Johnny isn’t the only one with a stiff dick right now.
“Sorry,” I mumble, confused at how I can stare at Mag’s lap like I’d like to try his on for size even just shortly after being with Johnny. They’re all enough for me individually, and it’s not just about sex anyway. I care for them all. Sex is the natural progression of romantic relationships. Sure, everything else about this is unconventional, but fuck, I refuse to let myself be weird about it. I want them all. I can’t deny it. I don’t want to.
“Don’t be,” Mag says. “I’m a grown man. This isn’t the first boner I’ve had that will end in blue balls.” He wraps his hands around the steering wheel. “I’m just worried if K finds out what he might do.”
I’m worried about that too, but the fact that Mag is sporting an erection seems to have hotwired my brain. “You liked listening to me?” I ask, my breath shallowing.
He adjusts himself on the seat. “I just wish I could’ve seen it in person.”
He turns the car on, waits a few beats, then backs out of the spot in the garage. He gives a quick salute to the bodyguard in the booth and drives me toward the gym. “Did you check the car?” I ask, then shake my head. He obviously did. He already talked about things he wouldn’t if he wasn’t sure. “We didn’t have sex just then,” I clarify. “But we did at the safe house.”
Magnum swallows. “Be careful of K. If he finds out, I don’t know what he’ll do.”
I shiver at the thought. I know exactly what he’ll do. He’ll beat Johnny again, and that’s not going to happen. “He won’t find out,” I promise.
At Johnny’s insistence, Brawler and Oscar are also meeting us at the gym. Apparently in this case, he’s of the mind that more is merrier. I don’t disagree. While he’s at Candy’s, I’ll be testing my hand. The pain from the scuffle with the asshole has gone away, so it’s just the normal questions as to whether I’m okay to use my arm to punch full force. K will want to see a fight. He’ll be able to tell if we’re pulling punches.
“I want you to be careful because of your neck today, too,” Mag says. “You have an appointment at a PT place tomorrow for assessment, so don’t do too much. This is just a preliminary training and planning session.”
My neck has been okay. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt the day they tried to blow up the tower despite the fight. The hot tub at the safe house did wonders afterward, just loosening the tension, so I could relax. I’m half tempted to tell Johnny he should put a hot tub in the tower somewhere, but I would also want it private because I’m not using something like that when his father or another guard could come in at any moment.
Plus, ever since I spent half a day in one, I’ve been wondering about hot tub sex. Hot tub sex sounds amazing. We would definitely need a private one for that.
We’re halfway to the gym when Magnum reaches over, squeezing my hand. Barely moving his lips, he says, “Don’t be obvious, but we’ve got a tail.”
My heart leaps to life in my chest. The last time we had a tail, I was accused of murder, almost kidnapped, and had to be away for six weeks.
“It’s Reynolds,” Mag says quickly.
“The lawyer said he wouldn’t be giving up,” I tell him. I don’t even need to look for the car Mag sees. I trust him, and it makes sense. They’re trying to find evidence against me. They’re trying to intimidate me into confessing, or just trying to see if I do anything else like kill someone in the middle of the street.
“I’ll have to have a talk wi
th Jax and Finn because he’ll walk right up in there and grab towels, water bottles, anything that has your DNA on it.”
“They won’t match it to the scene.”
“That doesn’t mean they should have all that,” Mag replies, gritting his teeth. “There are good cops and bad cops, and Detective Reynolds is an over-eager asshole.”
“You’re saying you wouldn’t put it past him to plant evidence?”
He nods curtly, gaze still moving to the rearview mirror every once in a while. Not enough to make it obvious, but enough to be sure that it’s Reynolds still following us. “We don’t leave anything behind at the gym, okay? And we’ll tell Jax and Finn they shouldn’t trust him.”
“Maybe I should find somewhere else to train,” I offer, stomach flipping. I hate involving them. “I don’t want to drag Jax and Finn into this. They’re trying to get their business going. They’re good guys.”
“Brawler’s already discussed coming back with them, and they want you there, Kyla,” he says, looking over at me as he parks the car out front of the gym. It sits inside a strip mall, taking up the majority of the building with Boxing Gym written in bold, black letters over the door. It’s pretty generic, but the place is well kept for the Heights.
I pull my phone out of my bag, hesitating before I click on the last text I got from Johnny. He told me to tell him everything, but I also don’t want to bother him at Candy’s either.
“What’s up?” Mag asks.
“Just wondering if I should tell Johnny about Reynolds now or later.”
Mag lifts his gaze to the rearview once more. Finally, I follow his gaze, twisting in my seat like I’m getting something from the back and see a gray sedan drive slowly by the gym and continuing, turning the corner at the next intersection.
“Tell him I have it handled, but he’ll want to know now.”
I type out the text and hit Send before we get out of the car. When we walk inside, relief shakes me. A training gym has been one of the few constants in my life. Finn jogs forward, his light hair down, caressing his shoulders as he moves toward us. “Damn girl,” he says as he laces his arms around me. “You’re like a magnet for fucked up shit.”