by River Ramsey
“Training?” Ella croaked. “I can’t. I have to help Mrs. Hill plan the fall formal, and I’m supposed to clean up after the ceremony.”
The three exchanged looks Ella was too tired to even try to read.
“It’s been three days since the ceremony, Ella,” Natalia said gently. “As for the formal, you’re going to have much bigger things on your plate soon. I’m sure Emily will find a way to manage.”
Ella wanted to argue, but she was losing energy fast. She sank back against the pillows, fighting the growing temptation to shut her eyes for just a few seconds.
“I can’t be the Empress,” she said, her words slow and slurred like a record player winding down as her body gave her no choice but to give in to sleep. “I’m just a stray.”
Chapter 4
Axel
Indignation. That was the word for it. Axel had been mulling over the right way to describe exactly what he was feeling--what he had been feeling--ever since the night of the ceremony.
First came shock. The moment it had become clear that not only was Marissa not the one who’d been chosen to lead the colony, but that the unlikeliest of candidates--no, someone who wasn’t even supposed to be a candidate--had been chosen, he’d been too shocked to feel much of anything, just like everything else.
Then came the dread. The oh-shit-i-bet-on-the-wrong-horse dread of knowing he had wasted the last six years pretending to tolerate a vapid airhead for no good damn reason.
Then there was Ella.
There was always Ella.
Fucking Ella.
From the moment she’d come into his world, she’d been a nuisance, first because she was the annoying little stray who’d always tried to insert herself in whatever he and his siblings were doing, as if she actually belonged there, and then for entirely different reasons.
As they got older, Ella had stopped trying to hang around Axel and Lyra. She’d stopped giving him those big doe eyes every time he had friends over, before he shut the door in her face.
Then, things changed. While he was busy ignoring her, she changed.
The scrawny, bug-eyed brat who used to piss him off grew up and she became the walking, raven-haired temptation who sauntered past him in a bathrobe every morning after he’d spent the night dreaming about her. She was all curves and forbidden edges Axel knew he’d get cut on if he ever tried to touch her, and he hated her for it.
No. Hate wasn’t a strong enough word. If he could have erased every last trace of Ella Doe from the earth, he would have done it and maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to erase her from his mind.
Of all the fleabitten strays his mother could have rescued, it had to be her. It couldn’t have been the neighbors, where at least she’d have been a safe distance away, still torturous but tolerable if he gritted his teeth and kept the blinds shut.
The lust was only part of the fucked-up cocktail of misfiring hormones and traitorous neurochemicals that had pushed him to move into the dorms as soon as the opportunity arose.
Of infinitely greater concern was the fact that his heart had decided it owned her on the eve of his sixteenth birthday.
Axel remembered right down to the second, maybe not the moment it all began, because it was a slow, encroaching process just like the plague, but the moment he lost power over it.
The moment his soul stopped being his own and started being a hole in the shape of her.
Over the last few years, he had become a world class expert in pretending like she didn’t exist, and when that failed, convincing himself that he hated her for reasons other than the fact he couldn’t have her.
And hell, he’d even convinced himself. He still felt that traitorous blend of arousal and longing whenever she was near, but at least he’d conditioned himself to feel spite right alongside it. That made it easier.
Sometimes.
Now all the rules had changed.
Marissa wasn’t the one.
If he hadn’t been so stunned by the revelation that night, Axel would have put an end to whatever was left of them then and there, but he hadn’t. Now it was just dragging on like a corpse under the wheel of a car, and he was too much of a coward to look back and see the damage.
The only thing keeping him from ending it now was the fact that Marissa hadn’t been back to school since the ceremony, and rumor had it, Ella was going to be discharged from the hospital soon. There was a good chance she’d show up at the Academy before Marissa, and that was really going to be a mess, but breaking up with her over the phone wasn’t something he was willing to do, if only because he didn’t want to be known as “that guy.”
She wasn’t answering his texts, anyway. Most of their time together at home was spent at her place, and there was no way Mrs. Waterson was going to be in the mood for company. The Academy was ironically more structured than their parents’ houses, and a getaway fling was easier to come by at home.
Marissa’s parents always looked the other way. So would Axel’s mother, for that matter. He told himself he never brought girls home because he didn’t want to expose Lyra to their inevitable walk of shame the morning after, but Ella factored in more than he would have liked to admit.
He wasn’t even sure why. Of all the ways he took pleasure in rubbing her lowly status in, he’d never been able to find satisfaction in parading his lovers around for her to see. Her interest in him was as plain as the button nose on her face, and he knew it would be the perfect revenge for all the crimes she’d committed that he still couldn’t put a name to, but he never did.
Every now and then, he’d let himself wonder why. Not for too long, because the answer that kept popping up over and over again like a sprouting weed was the irrational fear that somehow those wide, piercing eyes would see through to the fact that it was her he pictured whenever he was fucking them.
Learning Ella was the marked one had turned his world upside down more than his father’s death ever had, and getting closure wasn’t going to be half as easy.
He’d done some soul searching since the accident, once he’d been turned away from the hospital by that damn priestess who’d taken it upon herself to be the patron saint of Ella. There was no way to proceed but forward.
He would be King, and he needed an Empress to do it. The fact that it was Ella and not Marissa simply required a restructuring of his current strategy.
And his brain, for that matter. Was it even possible to stop hating the stray when that hatred was the only thing that kept him sane around her?
It wasn’t a question that had an easy answer, but he would wait for her to show up at the Academy and go from there. She was already head over heels for him and had been as long as anyone could remember.
How hard could winning her over really be?
Chapter 5
Ella
“About ready to leave this place?” Tessa asked with a knowing smile as Ella gathered her belongings in the bag the attending nurse had given her. Natalia had been kind enough to bring her a change of clothes that fit surprisingly well, and she couldn’t help but worry the Empress had bought them just for her.
“Ready to leave the hospital, but not to go back to the pride,” she admitted.
“That’s understandable,” Tessa snorted. “The Hill pride certainly isn’t what it was in my day.”
She talked like she was ancient even though she was still relatively young, but Ella figured that just came with the territory of being a High Priestess. “Where am I going exactly, anyway?”
“Natalia has graciously offered to let you stay in the capital estate with them while you recover,” Tessa answered.
Bishop had returned to school the day after she’d woken up in the hospital, and while Natalie had stuck around, she was away on colony business that afternoon. The idea of staying with them was as overwhelming to Ella as it was humbling.
“I couldn’t ask them to do that,” Ella protested.
“You didn’t ask anything,” said Tessa. “She offered, and you’re going to have to
get used to it when you become Empress. Everyone will want your time, and it wouldn’t hurt to spend some with people who understand what you’re going through.”
“What about the Hills?” Ella asked. Admittedly, the idea of going back there unsettled her more than anything, but she didn’t want to just abandon Beatrice.
She was also having a hard time feeling like it was her decision to make. The days that had passed since coming to the hospital had done nothing to make her new reality sink in, even if she had grown numb to the shock of it all.
In Ella’s mind, she was still just the unofficial live-in maid who existed to do whatever Mrs. Hill decided. The idea of that changing was unfathomable. As unhappy as she’d been with her lot in life before, there was dreaming about a different world and then there was actually diving headfirst down the rabbit hole.
Tessa’s expression soured at any mention of the Hill family, and this time was no exception. “The Hills have managed to survive fourteen years without noticing the future Empress was right under their noses, and I expect they’ll manage just fine without her.”
Ella wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. She knew Tessa was right, of course, but that didn’t change the mingled feelings of guilt and obligation. Emily had done so much for her, and she was the closest thing to a mother Ella had ever known.
Tessa was watching her a bit too closely, and Ella once again felt like she was able to see more than what was visible to the naked eye. Before the priestess could question her, there was a familiar rhythmic knock at the door.
“Coming in,” Emily called in a singsong Ella had only ever heard her use with people she hated but wanted to impress. Not a good sign. She locked her gaze on Ella and smiled wider than she ever had before. “Well, look who’s all better.”
“She’s still healing, and it’s not a good time for company,” Tessa said curtly.
Emily’s gaze turned frosty as she stared the other woman down, but her smile didn’t falter. “The hospital called me,” she said in a syrupy tone. “I’m here to take Ella home.”
The words filled Ella with warmth and dread at the same time. She’d hoped her head would be clearer after the morphine drip wore off, but her emotions certainly weren’t.
“The hell you are,” Tessa scoffed.
Ella gaped at her, far from immune to her bluntness. Even the highest ranking members of the Fellowship didn’t usually dare to speak to pride Matriarchs that way.
Emily remained true to her unflappable poise, but Ella knew she had to be seething underneath. “Where else would she go?” she challenged. “I am her legal guardian, after all.”
Tessa’s upper lip curled back in a partial snarl. She clearly knew Emily had a point, and hated it almost as much as Ella did. “She’s almost nineteen. I’d say that’s more than old enough to decide for herself.”
“The colony laws say differently,” Emily said, glancing Ella’s way. Even though she wore a pleasant expression, she was more unnerving this way than she ever had been when she was angry. “But that’s all beside the point, isn’t it? You want to come home, don’t you, dear?”
Ella’s throat tightened up the way it had that night under the water, and she felt like those invisible, groping hands were still trying to choke the life out of her. Before she could answer, Tessa cut in.
“You don’t have to do anything. Remember that.”
If looks could kill, the look Emily was giving her would have been irrefutable proof in a court of law.
“It’s okay,” Ella said, her voice sounding stabler than she’d feared. “If I have to attend the Academy, the Hills’ house is closer, and I don’t want to put anyone to any trouble.”
“Such a thoughtful girl,” Emily said in a voice full of warmth Ella had never heard in it before as she stroked a lock of white hair behind Ella’s ear. “I’ve already had a talk with the Headmaster, and he’s going to give you another week to recover before you start class.”
“That’s okay,” Ella said quickly. As nervous as she was about walking through the Academy doors she’d dreamed of entering on so many occasions, the idea of staying at home with the new Mrs. Hill for a solid week was much worse. “I’ll already be behind. Might as well not waste any more time.”
It wasn’t a lie, either. Ella had gone to human schools all her life, and while she’d done well in most of her classes, she hadn’t learned any of the things a young queen her age was expected to know. In some ways, she was as much of an outsider to their world as Beatrice was, and catching up seemed nigh impossible.
“Are you sure about this?” Tessa asked, holding Ella’s gaze intently, as if she was trying to find her own answers behind the girl’s eyes.
“I am,” Ella lied. She was sure she didn’t have any better options, at any rate. “Thank you, for everything. Would you please tell Mrs. Meyer how much I appreciate her kindness?”
“Of course,” Tessa said with a burdened sigh. To Ella’s surprise, the priestess pulled her into a gentle hug that still made her healing ribs ache a little. “If you need anything, you can reach me in your dreams.”
The cryptic remark was too out of the blue for Ella to process it in time to respond. Tessa was already on her way out of the room, casting one last dirty look in Emily’s direction. The Matriarch waited to return it until her back was turned.
“Well, shall we get going?” Emily asked, reaching for Ella’s bag. “I’m sure you’re hungry. I’ll have Beatrice whip something up for you.”
Ella couldn’t help but stare at her. If she didn’t know better, she’d think Emily had been replaced by a robot double, but she did know better and there was absolutely nothing out of character about her opportunism, as bizarre as her behavior was.
“That’s okay. I think I’ll just sleep,” Ella said, following her out of the hospital room.
“Suit yourself,” said Emily. To Ella’s relief, her new maternal demeanor didn’t seem to extend to idle chatter and the car ride home was mostly silent. Ella found herself gazing out the window, lost in thought until they passed the Academy.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Emily asked absently. “You never forget your time there.”
Ella was surprised at how genuine the wistful tone in her voice sounded. It was rare for Emily to be sentimental about anything. Ella wasn’t even sure she’d cried at her husband’s funeral. Not with tears, anyway.
“Yeah,” she murmured. “I can’t wait.”
Chapter 6
Ella
Life at the Hill residence was both better and worse than it had been before. Better because Emily was no longer treating her like a servant whose every waking moment had to be accounted for and filled with work. Worse because she had yet to falter in her new act as a caring and doting mother figure.
The other day, Emily had actually prepared breakfast herself when Ella came downstairs in the morning. She was starting to feel like she lived in Stepford, only there was no shutting Emily down by pulling out her batteries.
Now that her sternum was healed and she could breathe without coughing, she was expected to begin her first day at the Academy. Emily had offered to drive her, but Ella had carefully refused the offer, insisting the walk was good for her lungs.
In truth, she wasn’t thrilled about arriving to her first day looking winded, but anything was better than being trapped in a car with Emily. Somehow, she was even more frightening when she was trying to be nice. Maybe her stilted performance just made it clear how far from her true nature any altruistic behavior really was.
Ella felt guilty for thinking such things about the woman who had taken her in and raised her from a kit. Tessa and Natalia might have shared her opinion, but they didn’t owe her the way Ella did. Even if she knew Emily was only interested in her now that she had something to offer, even if it was only in the distant future, she didn’t want to be ungrateful.
As the Academy came into view, it looked bigger and more intimidating than it ever had. Ella adjusted her duffel bag on
her shoulder, filled with every worldly possession she owned. That was considerably more than it once had been, since she’d received her uniforms from the Academy.
Moving into the dorms was not a decision she had taken lightly, but it seemed slightly preferable to remaining in the Hill estate. She knew it would put her closer to Axel, but they were already going to be sharing many of the same classes, and she hadn’t even heard from him since the Unveiling.
Empress or not, it seemed that nothing had changed in his ongoing quest to pretend like she didn’t exist, and considering the alternative, she decided it was for the best.
The moment Ella walked through the doors, finally having worked up enough courage to go in, she immediately regretted it. The lively roar of conversation immediately died down and everyone turned to stare at her just like they had in her anxiety-fueled dreams the night before.
For a few seconds, Ella remained frozen and unsure of how to respond. She finally decided to just pretend like she didn’t notice and followed the signs in the hallways to the administration office.
The secretary behind the desk gave her a doubletake. Now she was really starting to wish she had dyed her hair. It was only going to make her immediately identifiable wherever she went.
“Hi. I’m here to get my class schedule?” She approached the desk, trying to check her nerves.
All she had to do was survive this one day, one hour at a time. How hard could it be?
The growing pit of dread in her gut offered an answer she wasn’t keen to dwell on.
“Of course,” the secretary said, disappearing for a moment before she returned with a thick folder. Ella glanced over its contents and realized it was her schedule along with the Academy handbook and several wavers she was supposed to sign and hand back. The paper that caught her attention was the page in her schedule where it listed her orientation guide.