by Crowe, Liz
“I love Sara,” Jack stated, shocking him a little. “And you need to back the fuck off.”
Anger quickly replaced shock, but he forced himself to continue the silence.
“That’s pretty much it, Robinson. You got anything to say?”
Craig pushed himself up off the desk where he’d been leaning and stepped straight into Gordon’s personal space. The man didn’t back down an inch. “Yeah, I do. You need to become less of a supreme asshole if you think she’s ever going to be with you in any significant way.”
Jack glared at him.
His heart pounded. “That’s right. Less a selfish dickhead and more a real man would go a long way to making her happy. Ever thought about that?”
“Sounds like you have,” Jack said. The men stood, toe to toe for a couple of seconds. “And I’m here to tell you right now you can stop thinking about her for any reason whatsoever.”
Craig let his inner contrarian rule for a split second. “I am fairly certain that you…” He poked the guy’s chest. “Are in no position to tell me what to do about anyone or anything.”
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “Out of my space pretty boy,” he growled. “And I’ll leave you alone.”
“Last I checked you’re in my space Gordon. So get your cocky ass out of here, before I…” his last words were drowned out by the sound of his own breath leaving his lungs in a whoosh. Jack hauled back for another blow to his gut but Craig sidestepped him, landing a left-handed punch to the man’s cheekbone. A couple of agents stepped in then and pulled them apart. Jack glared at him, but Craig’s head was suddenly clear.
“I’m not who she wants. But by God, Gordon, you better man-the-fuck up and be what she needs or I will kill you.”
Jack turned and left the office at the exact moment Sara called, telling him she needed him to come over. That she had something she needed to tell him and Jack at the same time.
Thirty minutes later he sat, stunned, staring at her. Jack stood and started pacing, throwing out questions. Craig had nothing to contribute, so remained silent. Of all the sex he’d had in his life, he’d never once even had a minor pregnancy scare, despite his aversion to condoms. He had an annual checkup for the usual nastiness and always came out smelling like a rose. His luck, he supposed. And it had possibly just run out.
Sara’s face drained of all color all of a sudden. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Alarmed, Craig followed her, no longer caring where Jack was or what he thought. He held her after she threw up, let her cry, then still feeling fuzzy, he stumbled out to his bike and leaned on it a second.
Jack emerged next, put on his oh-so-cool Ray Bans and started for his car. Craig glared at him, and as if sensing it, Jack turned and faced him, arms crossed over his chest. Craig shook his head. This was insane, beyond ridiculous. He refused to pretend her telling them both that she was pregnant, thanks to one of them and that she didn’t care which one so they could just step off and out of her life, was in any way normal.
“That’s a load of bullshit, you know that,” he said, leaning back on his bike.
“Glad you figured that out.” The other man said, mirroring his stance. “Now what, genius?” Jack whipped off his sunglasses. The expression of utter dismay, remorse mixed with regret fueled by pure smoldering fury on the man’s face wasn’t one Craig would soon forget. The urge to punch the jerk in the pie hole retreated.
“Yeah, she’s a piece of work, isn’t she?” Craig asked.
Jack sighed and ran a hand down his face. “You have no fucking idea, kid.”
“Listen, we can’t just let her do this. Keep you…us…out of it all.”
“She can and she will. I, for one, am ready to let her, stubborn bitch.”
Craig took a step towards him. Jack raised an eyebrow. “Look, skater boy, I’m not in the mood to punch your lights out again. So spare me.”
“I don’t care enough about you to bother hitting you again. But…”
“And the great unspoken words after ‘but’?” Jack asked, slumping against his car again.
“But, you and I both care about her.” He pointed to Sara’s closed front door. “So we, as in you and me, have to not back off. I know I’m not going to. Believe it or not, I’m not gonna let you do it either.” Jack frowned at him but he went on. “Listen, Gordon, I get it. You guys are crazy, in love, meant to be, whatever. I’m okay with it. I’ll get over her.” He crossed his arms. “You, my almost-friend, are gonna step up your mother fucking game with her or between Blake and me, we will kick your sorry ass to Kalamazoo and back. We clear?”
His knees shook but his brain was crystal clear. He thought about the cave of chaos he entered the day he met Sara Thornton, when he was already mixed up with the whacky Lindsay and on the ragged edge of giving up on himself. But instead of getting lost forever, letting himself go on thinking he could beat Jack, take his woman away from him, Craig had met another, much more compelling female. And she’d guided him down a side path, leading him into the light of day.
She still had a hold of his hand. It was as if he could actually feel her small palm in his, tugging him away. As long as he wasn't a total dumbass, he could be with her, exactly where he wanted to be. He took a breath, letting visions of Suzanne propel him.
“I’m going back to school,” he blurted out. He had been toying with this concept since his brother’s wedding when that very brother, in his disheveled tuxedo and drunk on champagne, had read him the fucking riot act. It had finally gelled for him. He was going back and he might even revive the whole medical school dream, who knew? He’d made some money and would keep his real estate license, but he’d been careful with his cash over the past year and had enough to get him through the remaining courses he needed to finish.
“’I’m going to be the General Manager at Stewart's,” Jack said. “So we’re both about to change our lives. For the record, kid,” he growled, “my game is stepped up. I’m not going to let her go through this alone as long as I can break through the wall of resistance named Blake.”
“I’ll handle Sara’s brother. You’re buddies with his partner, right? You work that angle. We’ll make sure they both know we’re here as back up, no matter what.”
Jack shot him an ironic grin. “Good plan. Good luck with school. Oh, and by the way, you fuck with my friend Suzanne, you won’t know what hit your sorry surfer-boy ass when Rob and I get finished with you. She means a lot to us. Don’t ever forget that.”
Craig smiled, held out his hand. “Deal. But any bit of advice you guys have about her, I’m happy to entertain.”
Jack took it, his grip firm but not overpowering, “Dude, if I can barely handle that one.” He jerked his chin towards Sara’s condo. “Trust me when I say I’m incapable of giving advice about Suzanne Baxter. Just…be careful. She’s been through a ton of shit.”
“Deal.” Craig put on his helmet, climbed on his bike, and for the first time in his adult life, felt like he had a purpose. He pointed the machine towards downtown, eager to see Suzanne and tell her his new plan. Hell, he might even kiss her, if he felt lucky. A hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up at Jack, backed off the throttle a little.
“Thanks, man.” Jack said.
“No problem.” He took off, his head squared with his heart but with the words “go slow” engrained in his brain for a good long time.
Chapter Fourteen
“Wow.” Craig sucked in a breath at the sight of Suzanne the night of their first real date. She had on black jeans and a soft-looking cream-colored turtleneck. Her rich auburn hair was swept up off her neck and the look in her eyes was…wary. He took a step back from the door. “You okay?”
“Sure.” She put a hand to her throat and seemed to draw into herself further. He really needed to find out what happened to her that made her so skittish at times. But no one would tell him. All of them, from Rob to Sara and even Jack himself, insisted that she would tell him when she was ready. “Sorry. I haven’t been on a date i
n…a while.”
He smiled, and kept his distance. Something in her stance told him she wanted that. Contenting himself with looking at her a second, taking in her compact beauty, he waited while she shut the door behind her, and visibly squared her shoulders as if girding herself for battle.
“Listen,” he said, putting a hand on her elbow and ignoring her slight flinch. “Let’s play a game.” She shot him an odd look. “No, no, hear me out. Let’s just pretend this isn’t a date. We’ll just say we’re going to mutually enjoy a musical performance, then share a meal and a beer and then I’ll drive you home because it’s more convenient to take one car instead of two. You know, because I’m so into being environmentally correct and all.”
She smiled, and his heart clenched. Oh crap. He was doing it again. Falling for an older woman. He kept his tone light. She elbowed his side. “All right, humor me. That’s fine. But I get to decide at the end if we share a friendly kiss. How about that?”
Craig tried not to smile too widely. He felt like a teenager on his first date as he opened the door and handed her up into his SUV. She stayed quiet during the short drive from her Barton Hills mansion to downtown. He crawled around looking for a parking spot, letting her keep her silence. It wasn’t awkward, so he decided not to fill it with useless chatter.
“Thanks,” she said as he came around and helped her out of the truck. “Tell me about this band we’re going to see.”
Relieved to have something to talk about, he gave her a brief history of the Paul Thorn trio, a bluesy-folk group out of New Orleans. They took their place in line outside The Ark, one of Ann Arbor’s best places to hear live music. She leaned into him as he ran his mouth, and he put what he hoped was a casual arm around her shoulders.
No one, not even Sara, had felt more one hundred percent right to him. He put his lips to her hair, closed his eyes a split second as the incredible blend of scents that were quintessentially Suzanne crawled into his brain.
By the time the concert was over he’d had a chance to stare at her in the darkened venue, admire the way she sipped and talked to all the people who knew her. He gave himself a mental smack and refocused on being casual, friendly. But his body was sending him some serious “I want” signals he recognized.
He guided her out afterward, keeping a hand in the small of her back. As promised, they shared a meal, a beer, and he barely remembered anything that came out of his mouth or went into it. He was so damn lost in her by now. Her jokey sarcasm matched his but without lapsing into the brittle, like Sara’s. Her energy was positive, slow-going, slow-burning. Unlike Sara’s. She loved all the same foods he did, and he adored how she would go off on a tangent about beer at the slightest provocation.
She was definitely not Sara. But even that wasn’t the best thing about her.
He sipped his bitter ale and smiled at her.
“What?” She blushed and put a hand to her face making his body react in an alarming way to the sight. He shifted, making room for his suddenly stiff zipper. “I’m sorry, I go on sometimes.”
He put his pint glass down. “You had me at ‘alcohol by volume’ then lost me at ‘house ale yeast,’ but I could listen to you read a menu I think…now.” He looked down, embarrassed by the admission. He jumped when she put her hand on his.
“Okay, so now we’re on a date it’s pretty clear, and I have a question for you. It’s kind of important to me but I don’t want to…you know…freak you out or anything.” She stopped, picked up her glass, and he got mesmerized all over again by her lips as they caressed the edge of it, by the flawless line of her neck as she swallowed.
“Okay. Shoot.” He swallowed, trying to regain his composure. Craig would look back many years and many heartbreaks later and realize that that split second was a fork in the road for him. He wanted to follow her wherever she went and steeled himself for whatever tough question she had. It could be anything and he dreaded the “didn’t I see you naked with a guitar on the cover of a gay porn book?”
“When are you going to take me swimming?” She put the glass down, put her chin on her hands and batted her eyes at him.
He blew out a breath and sat back, trying to process it. Then chuckled. “Damn woman, you know how to throw a guy off.” He ran a hand down his face, leaned back further. “How about…now?”
He stood, threw some money on the table and held out a hand. She slid her palm into it and he tugged her close, no longer caring what she thought about him being in her personal space. He planned to get even closer tonight. She looked up at him. “I’m about to initiate the friendly kiss,” he whispered as the room shrunk to the two of them. “You good with that?”
She nodded. He touched his lips to hers, softly, determined to go at a pace she could handle, but by the time he heard the first cat calls of “get a room kids” from the other diners and a round of applause, she had herself wrapped around him so tight, her arms around his neck, her body pressed tight to his, and he was drowning in her. He broke away, but held her close.
“Okay then. Good start.”
She grinned and blushed again.
“I love it when you do that.” He bit back anything more, let her go and held her hand all the way out to the car.
She was a perfectly capable swimmer but he’d been fairly well distracted by the sight of her slipping out of her jeans and sweater and diving into the pool on the roof of his condo building in a black bra and panties. He willed his cock softer, getting that teenager-ish feeling again as he joined her, shucking his own clothes down to his boxers before diving in.
After a few laps she pulled herself up to the side of the pool, letting her legs dangle in the water. He rested his arms on the side and looked up at her. If he got out now she would see the raging hard on he’d developed, so he stayed in the water, cursing himself for being such a damn kid.
“Jack told me about Sara.”
He watched the water drip down her arms and held back the urge to leap up and chase it with his tongue. “Yeah. Um, that.”
“Pretty much a mess. Sorry you got caught up in it.”
“Well, Jack and I have reached a détente on it. I know he loves her, and they can work out their shit without me.”
“He told me you were just as likely to be the father.” Her gaze left his and looked out over the slowly calming pool.
“I suppose. But she claims it doesn’t matter. I mean, I care, but…I don’t know. As you said. A mess.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin when she put her fingers in his wet hair. “You are a very special guy, you know that?”
He smiled at her, but his heart was pounding and his cock was at full attention yet again at her touch. Any smart comeback dried up in his throat.
She bit her lip. “I don’t know what to think about you, though. You’re like a mystery. You just appeared in my life and I…I’m not in a good place right now.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” He hauled himself out of the water at the sight of a tear sliding down her cheek. “I do not make women cry. It’s a rule that I feel pretty strongly about it.” He sat next to her, put an arm around her and prayed she didn’t see how tented his wet boxer shorts were. “You don’t have to know how you feel about me. We’re just, you know, hanging out, sharing meals and beer and saving the environment, remember?”
She sighed and tucked herself into his side. “I do know one thing.” She put her hand on his bare thigh making him repress a shudder of lust.
“What’s that,” He put his lips to her wet hair. “Whoa.” He gulped when she flipped up onto her knees and straddled him, nestling her lovely heat against his aching cock.
“I want another one of those kisses. Like, right now.” He leaned back, eyeballing her, trying to decide what she was really saying.
“Okay….”
She ran a hand down his torso, making his skin break out in chills. “I’m not ready for much more. Not yet. I’ve got some shit I have to work in my head, and I don’t think I can handle a friends�
��with-benefits arrangement. It’s just not in me, you know?” She bit her lip again. “I sound even worse for you than Sara. I’m sorry.”
He leaned up slowly, slid his hand around the back of her neck and brought his lips within centimeters of hers. “I know,” he said. “It’s fine. We’ll do this however you want.” And when he kissed her again, it actually was fine. Epic and amazing and life changing, but also really and truly fine.
He stood, taking him with her, then scooped her up and dropped her down on the large lounge chair. They kissed until he was dizzy with a need for more, but he forced himself not to push it, to let her lead. Her small hands caressed him, stroked the outside of his boxers, but she finally sighed into his neck. They were both breathing heavy, and he had a horrific moment when he had to take her hand off him, kissing it and rolling onto his back. “Let’s take it slower.”
She propped on her elbow and stared at him. “Sorry.” She whispered, touching his lips. “You really are amazing.”
“No, I’m not. Well, yes I am but I just don’t want to … you know, press you into doing anything you’re not ready for.”
“I’d better go.” She stood grabbed a towel. “Is there a place I can change?” He pointed to the small room and let his already supercharged imagination run wild as she changed, then reappeared.
This was good. Good for him and for her. He needed this kind of a relationship—one not so frantically sexual. But he knew one thing, and the sight of her running her fingers through her hair as she walked back out the door—he was in love for real.
And was scared as hell about it.
Chapter Fifteen
Seven Months Later
Craig’s head pounded, his body ached and his eyes burned, but he held Sara’s baby, looked into her eyes and saw his future. Jack still sat at Sara’s head, soothing her, brushing her hair back. The man’s eyes looked haunted and considering what they’d all been through just now—a bloody mess at her office, the ambulance ride, and an emergency C-section—it was no surprise. Sara’s mother appeared at his side and pulled the pink blanket aside. She touched the tiny girl’s face.