by Crowe, Liz
Suzanne bit back tears, ugly words, rejection, anything she could. Grateful the phone had interrupted them before she really ruined everything in a knee-jerk, ill-considered retort. She watched as he walked away. Admired the strong line of his shoulders, his long, lean legs, his shaggy, boyish blond hair. She clenched her fists.
Get a grip Suzanne. Why won’t you let him…
She looked up when he yelled her name.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed the picnic basket and held out a hand to help her to her feet.
“What is it?” The look in his eyes was wild.
“It’s Katie. She’s in my ED.”
Suzanne’s heart sped up and she followed him up the hill to the car. She loved the little girl too. It was impossible not to. She knew damn good and well that the child was Jack’s daughter—she had to be. Only that man’s gene pool would create a small human who was adored by everyone who met her, but whose hair trigger temper could get the best of her. She and Craig had spent some time with her over the past year, not as much as she knew he would like, but it was always fun.
Craig sped down the hill towards the U of M emergency department, jumped out and tossed the keys to her. She whispered that she loved him as he ran inside.
The ensuring hours were breathtakingly traumatic. Katie’s appendix had burst. She needed emergency surgery to save her life. The players all emerged one by one.
Jack appeared in a tux, trailing the woman he’d been seeing since he and Sara were on the outs. Sara was there already pacing the hall. The two of them exchanged words Suzanne couldn’t hear but, based on their body language and faces she presumed were harsh.
Jack looked startled when Craig spoke, then grabbed a clipboard and signed something when Sara sank in to a chair. Then Jack disappeared at one point, and returned, rolling his shirtsleeve down.
Rob showed up next putting an arm around Sara, instantly calming her. Then Blake ran off the elevator, his eyes wild with worry. Suzanne smiled, watching him huddle with his sister.
Blake had been crucial in her life once. A catalyst and a healing force, and one she’d pushed away for reasons she sometimes still doubted. But he had found happiness. That much was clear. Rob crouched behind the two of them, calming everyone as always he managed to do.
At one point she felt a hand on her shoulder and realized she must have dozed off in one of the hard waiting room chairs. Rob smiled at her and slid into a nearby seat.
“Hey.” She snuggled into the arm he put around her. The man was truly incredible. He had provided such a balm for Blake, Sara—for everyone, really. And to think she’d known him then. When she, Jack and Rob, had met in college all those years ago, she’d somehow known Rob would be the rock for them all. Thank god his cancer seemed to be in remission.
“How’s it going Red?” He kissed her temple. They sat and watched Sara, Blake, and Jack, sitting vigil.
Craig appeared in the doorway, still wearing his day-off outfit of jeans and a soft oxford button-down shirt. They all stood, but Suzanne and Rob stayed back, let him talk with them first. Jack’s sister showed up then, her deep blue gaze frantic until she laid eyes on her brother. When he stomped out of the room, after getting the update from Craig, she followed him. Suzanne’s head started to ache with stress.
Craig leaned against the wall, eyes closed. Suzanne rose and went to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. She gasped when he clutched at her, but realized he was trying to hold it together for the sake of Katie’s mother. He pulled her out of the room, held her close.
“She’s going to be okay. But holy hell, Suzanne, the surgeon told me she coded on the table. Twice. Jesus.”
She stayed quiet, letting him get it out of his system. Her heart clenched at his next words.
“Well, one mystery is solved. She is definitely Jack’s. I ran the match on her blood type. He was the only possible donor.”
Suzanne smiled at him, placing a hand to his stubbled cheek. “I’m sorry.” She swallowed the lump building in her throat at the convoluted daytime-drama nature of their situation.
He grabbed her hand, kissed it, and looked deep into her eyes. “I’m not.” He leaned into her ear. “Thanks for staying around.”
“Of course.” Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Words choked her, but she forced them up and out. “I can’t ever be that for you, you know. We won’t ever be parents. I can’t give you….” Her voice broke, the residual stress making her shake so hard her teeth rattled.
He cradled her face between his hands, brushed his lips over hers. “How many times do I have to tell you...”
The sound of Jack barreling back through the double doors cut him off. Suzanne stepped away to let the men talk. Jack shot her a look of utter agony.
The past few years had been so stressful for him, she knew. He’d lost his father, one of his best friends and brother-in-law, and then the whole drama with Sara, which was beyond her understanding. Why the two of them wouldn’t or couldn’t get it together, it boggled the mind. Perhaps they were too much alike. Because they were. Apparently, fatally so. She wondered if somehow it could work out for them now with the simple reality of confirmed parenthood.
Craig led Jack over to the ICU window, muttered a few words of encouragement then opened the door. Suzanne swallowed hard, stood, and then tugged Sara away from her brother.
“It’s okay. She’s fine. You guys are going to be fine. But seriously Sara, you have to go to Jack now. He needs you. I know more than anyone what a tough asshole the guy can be, but I swear to God he loves you. Please let him.”
Sara looked at her with something resembling relief in her eyes, pushed the door open, went to the bedside and laid her hand on Jack’s shaking shoulder. He stood fast, knocking over the chair he had scooted close to Katie’s side, and grabbed onto her, his face a mask of relief. Suzanne turned and left, unable to cope with it any longer. Ignoring both Blake and Rob she shouldered her way out, hoping Craig would understand.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The sun was at that perfect moment, nearly an hour before setting, along the edge of Lake Michigan. Craig squinted behind his sunglasses, gripping Suzanne’s hand tight as they watched Jack and Sara finally tie the knot. Their words were soft, heartfelt, and the whole scene was nearly flawless. Then looked over at Rob, noted the dark circles under his eyes, the way he kept covering up his cough. The doctor in him saw the pallor, heard the rattle in his chest. God that was so not fair, to anyone here. But the guy was declining again and fast.
Suzanne put her arm around his waist. Her new willingness to be affectionate with him in public was such a relief. They still hadn’t finished the conversation about family, but things had been good, or at least minus too much drama as Katie recovered. Sara had met him at the door a few weeks ago when he and Suzanne were going to take the stir-crazy girl to the Detroit zoo for the day. He’d taken one look at her and known.
“Hey, does Jack know you’re pregnant again?”
She’d blushed, put a hand on her still flat stomach. “Jesus, what are you, psychic? I just did the test this morning.”
“Nah, I can just tell I guess. Congrats. Hopefully this time will be less stressful for you both.”
She’d given him a fierce hug and held on to his arms, “How is it with you guys? Really?”
“It’s fine. She’s moved out of that mansion now that Jack has it on the market.” He’d run a hand down his face, frustration at her reluctance to commit making him angry. “Anyway, as long as I don’t make her plan beyond next weekend, we’re okay. I guess.”
Sara had patted his shoulder. “She’s been though a lot.”
He had shrugged her off. “I know, I know. Poor Suzanne. Jesus. I’m not that guy though. Why she won’t…oh never mind.”
Suzanne had agreed to accompany him to Jack and Sara’s lakeside wedding, which is sisters-in-law all claimed was “a milestone date.” He’d booked a room at a cozy, romantic bed and breakfast and planned to make it a weekend sh
e would never forget. He leaned down, sucked in a breath, the spicy, cinnamon essence of her filled his nose, making his body come to attention in a fairly embarrassing show.
“You okay?” He ran his hand down her hip, across her ass.
She pressed closer to him. “I’m gonna be better soon I think.” She bit his ear as the crowd burst into applause at the sight of Jack and Sara’s kiss.
“Yes, you will be.” He willed himself down from a lusty ledge and clapped along with the rest of the crowd.
The photographer posed people in loose, casual groups. He sat with Suzanne and Katie for one of the pictures, all of them wearing cool looks and Ray Bans, draped around lounge chairs. He chatted with Rob, tried to resist the urge to pull the guy inside for some rest as he looked positively haggard.
He had a couple of beers, but kept a close eye on her—his woman, darting in and around, doing her usual thing, comfortable in a crowd. At one point, he saw Sara take a seat as Jack handed her a glass of lemonade. Lila, the woman Rob and Blake had chosen as their surrogate pulled a chair up to her. The two women spoke, then hugged, and Jack shook Rob’s then Blake’s hand.
Craig and Suzanne had discussed that whole thing and wondered just how objective the relationship was—how much of it was contractual and how much emotional. Suzanne suspected that Blake had fallen in love with the woman and Craig hoped they could sustain the relationship as Rob’s disease kept progressing.
He smiled. Baby mission accomplished, he surmised, and none too soon, if Rob was going to be around to see the child born. He shook his head at the evil twist of fate for his friends. He smiled when he felt arms around his waist. He pulled Suzanne around to his side, kissed her and hoped like hell she didn’t get upset.
“Good news?” She nodded in the direction of the people still gathered around the two women.
He tensed. “Yeah. I guess. Hey, how long do we have to stay here? I have a schedule you know.”
She raised an eyebrow at him then went up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thanks,” she said.
“You’re welcome. For what I don’t know, I’m sure, unless you’re thanking me in advance of how hard I’m gonna rock you this weekend.”
She blushed, and the sight of that made him want to pick her up, toss her over his shoulder, and get the hell out of here. “Well, okay. But thanks for something else.”
“For what, my lovely, blushing, ginger girl?”
“For not rushing me. I mean, after that first time.”
He sighed and held her closer. The watched Katie and her friend, Lila’s daughter Maddie run around in their dresses as the sun set. Blake was out lighting several small bon fires. The party ramped up as people drank more. They found an empty lounge chair and sat together. She leaned back into him and kept his hands on both her arms, his lips to her ear.
Jack and Sara stood apart for a while deep in conversation. The smile on Sara’s face made Craig happy for her and even for Jack.
“Let’s go,” he whispered. “I’m horny.”
She elbowed him, but giggled when he tugged her up, slid his hand up her skirt, and pulled her into a shadow of the deck. “Oooh, naughty.” She met his lips, let him dive into her mouth with his tongue as he slid a finger along her lacey excuse for panties.
“Careful, I’m liable to jump you here. And we have such a nice room waiting.” He lingered over her lips a moment.
She looked away, and Craig had a second of panic. Her emotional volatility had evened out in the last months, thank God. But he was not about to entertain any of that nonsense this weekend. It was one of the few times he was totally off the clock, had an entire three days to himself. He planned to spend it making Suzanne as happy as he knew how. For the entire fucking time.
Suzanne had a mild buzz by the time they made their stumbling way down the Lake Michigan beach and to the small B&B Craig had reserved for them. The whole day had been on the surreal side with all the many convoluted connections between the wedding party and guests. She’d been thrilled to see her friend Jack happy—finally. She hoped the two of them could see their way clear to make it really work. The romantic, sundown wedding was truly only the beginning of a long road to marital happiness.
“Hey!” she yelped when Craig picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder for the last few feet up the steps to the front porch. She slid down his strong, lean body, sucked in a breath of the ever-present chlorine smell. “Hey,” she repeated in a whipser, fighting the urge to cry at the utter perfection of the moment. Here she was, happy, in the arms of the man she could picture sharing her life with—but still a bone-deep terror gripped her.
Craig put a finger under her chin and made her look at him. She gulped, smiled, and reached up to clutch his shaggy blond hair. His crooked smile filled her vision just as he slanted his lips over hers, easygoing, tender, yet firm. The true essence of the man and everything she loved about him. His hands roamed up and down her back, gripped her ass, then moved up to bury in her hair. Her body heated up fast.
“I need….,” she gasped, unsure how to put into words what it was she truly needed at that moment. Wishing more than anything that she could.
“I know.” He reached behind her to open the door, and they kissed and groped their way down the dark hallway to their room. He grabbed her around the waist and tossed her upon the tall, creaky bed. Candles were already lit. A bottle of something sat chilling in a silver stand. She smiled at the sight of a bowl of Reese’s Pieces, sitting on the bedside table.
She giggled and moved her hips, making the bed moan and sing out a rusty sounding tune. Craig eyed her as he unzipped his khakis and yanked his already unbuttoned shirt off, dumping everything on the floor.
She put her hands behind her head, watching and marveling for the millionth time at his amazing body. His tall, lean strength was encased in a slender yet wiry build, with cut abs and broad, swimmer’s shoulders. A minimum of soft blond body hair led a nice trail straight to his sex, which at that moment was fully erect, its impressive length always a breathtaking sight.
“Lovely,” she said as he put his hands on hips, keeping his distance. “What are you way over there for?” He smiled, and her heart pounded in her chest. “Craig…I….” She bit her lip.
He stayed put, not doing his usual jump in, undress and fuck her silly. He obviously wanted her to make the first move, but she was sure it wasn’t something physical he wanted then, despite his body’s obvious need. Her throat closed up but she forced herself to speak.
“This is very special. Thanks for arranging it.”
The candles flickered from an invisible breeze in the slightly drafty room.
“No problem.” He kept his voice low and his position across the room from her. “It's kind of a bizarre set of circumstances, but worth the getaway time.”
“Yeah.” She stood, slipped the straps of her sundress down, letting the soft silk pool at her feet. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with her own body, after what she’d been through. And she’d broken the heart of a very special man in the process. But it had brought her here, to this moment, with this, equally special, but different man. And for that she was wholly grateful.
She opened her mouth and let the words tumble out, keeping her inner self-editor in a strangle hold. “I love you, Craig. So much. So much I’m terrified. And I can’t figure out why.” Tears pressed behind her eyes but she kept them at bay.
He stepped into her space, ran his hands up and down her freezing arms. She wrapped herself around him, loving the sensation of his warm skin, his sex pressed between them, his lips on her hair.
Craig’s innate calm, the laid-back way he approached pretty much everything he did soothed her a lot more than those early days of frantic physicality with Blake. She knew his presence had helped her at that particular time in her life. But it had also hindered her ability to cope on her own. By burying herself away with Blake, ignoring the world and her part in it, she’d made it worse. So she’d ripped he
rself from him, hurting them both in the process.
But now… she sighed, kissed Craig’s chest, worked her lips over to the erect pink bud of one nipple.
“Mmm hmm…” He threaded fingers in her hair as she lapped and nipped at his flesh. “Hang on.” He tugged her over to the bed, opened the side table drawer and pulled out a small velvet box. She shut her eyes.
“Craig…”
But he put her hand to his lips, then kissed her there, and worked his way up the inside of her wrist, making her whole body break out in erotic tremors. He nipped the inside of her elbow. The light hit his dark eyes as she watched him kiss his way up to her shoulder. He pressed her back onto the bed, his hands cupping a breast, flicking a nipple.
“Open up,” he whispered.
She closed her eyes, trusting him completely, and bit down on the crunchy, peanut chocolate candy combination. He had a handful of them, and put them one by one on her chest, making a little trail down between her breasts to her stomach. She giggled when he dug one out of her navel, then gasped when he ran out of them, anticipating his talented lips on her sex.
But he raised his head, eyebrow cocked, and put another line of the stupid things up her body, reaching her lips and putting one, then another into her mouth. She sighed as he ran his hands over her now aching nipples, then teased her clit a half second, just long enough to make her whimper and lift her hips.
“Open your eyes, Suzanne.” His voice was rough with repressed lust. She knew it when she heard it. She opened them, not even remembering when she closed them and saw it. The small, velvet box, now perched between her breasts in place of the candy.
She bit her lip, put her hands behind her head and stared at him.
“So you’re bribing me? Holding out until I answer this question?” She nodded to the jeweler's box.
“There’s no question in there. Just a present.”
She narrowed her eyes. She’d already turned down one proposal from him. Declared herself unwilling to even consider marrying again, no matter who asked. That had been several years ago and his willingness to stick it out, to stay with her, go at her pace, and at every turn making her blissfully happy in mind and body had gone a long way.