by Rick Riordan
“Yes!” said the statue. “That wingless old biddy Libertas can’t fly, you know. Hmph! At any rate, I was circling over the Congress Avenue Bridge when I saw the handsomest satyr—I mean you, of course—being chased by one of those bloodthirsty Aethiopian satyrs!”
“A what now?” I asked.
“That’s the technical term for them,” Sam said. “Now ssshhh. Please, great goddess, go on!”
“Well, of course I would have intervened, but I didn’t have time!” Columbia said. “The demonic beast had his mouth wide open, ready to take a bite out of your cute little furry behind when you bravely tripped over that vendor’s cart, and the monster got a big mouthful of tea. Poof! Bye-bye, demon!” She waved her frond again. “I was delighted to see him destroyed. One less evil goat-man to sully the waters of my fountain. One much more adorable satyr to visit me.” She fluttered her eyelids and giggled.
“Dude,” I whispered, trying not to laugh. “She likes you.”
“She does not!” Sam blushed to the tips of his horns. “Listen, Columbia just gave us the break we need. Sweet tea vaporizes Aethiopian satyrs! Now all we have to do is get some and waste them!”
Columbia cleared her bronze throat. “Ah, but they must drink it, my very handsome goat-man. Dousing them with tea is not enough.”
“Then we get squirt guns,” Sam said confidently. He pretended to shoot. “Pew! Pew! Pew! Right between their lips!”
“No good,” I said. “You’d have to be a perfect shot, and then they’d have to swallow the tea. Besides, you said there was a whole colony of these things. Even if you dissolved one or two satyrs, the others would figure out what was up. They’d just keep their mouths shut and slaughter us.”
Sam lowered his finger gun. “So…what do we do?”
I reached into my left front pocket and removed the gift I’d gotten from Mnemosyne. “Maybe this can help us?” I said.
“Do you know what it does?” asked Sam.
“Not a clue,” I said, then raised the library card and swiped it in the air like a credit card.
Nothing happened.
I sort of waved it around. “Alakazam.”
Zip.
“Is there anything written on it?” asked Sam.
I examined it again. “Nothing helpful.”
Sam shrugged. “Maybe we’re not supposed to use it yet.”
“Maybe not.” I shoved the card back into my pocket, then turned to Columbia.
“Goddess, what did you mean about the evil goat-men sullying your waters? Do they come here to drink?”
“To drink. To bathe. To scrub their nasty feet! Every night when the bats fly. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I stared at the water gushing from the fountain, splashing over the snouts of the bronze horses.
“Why here?” I asked. “Don’t they live under a bridge next to a river? Why not bathe and drink there?”
Sam shuddered. “You don’t want to drink from that river, Zane.”
“No, indeed,” Columbia agreed. “This water is pure and sanctified by my presence. Also, it’s fluorinated to prevent cavities.”
I snapped my fingers. “That’s the answer, then!”
“Fluorination?” asked Sam.
“No! We mix iced tea into the fountain water!”
Sam glanced nervously at the bronze horses. “I don’t know if the hippocampi will go for that. They already look pretty angry to me.”
“Oh, don’t worry about my horses,” Columbia said. “Your idea has merit! A few gallons of sweet tea should do it, if they are dumped in just before sunset.”
I bowed again to Columbia. “So we have your permission, O Goddess?”
“On one condition. If you ever get to New York City, promise to go to the Statue of Liberty and yell Columbia Rules! as loud as you can. She hates that.”
I was a little concerned about what Libertas might do to me, but I nodded. “Promise. Once the satyrs are destroyed, they’ll never sully your waters again. Then Sam and I can find the magic item we need from their lair.”
Sam rubbed his hands together. “Great. Now, where should we get that tea?”
I grinned. “I happen to know a place that offers free refills.”
“The Xenia Diner? You think B will help us?”
“Worth a shot!”
“I hope this works,” Sam whispered.
It was almost sunset. The area around the fountain had cleared out. I guess most of the UT students were back in their dorms. Armed with a pitcher provided by B and Phil, we began pouring sweet iced tea into the fountain. Sure enough, no matter how long we poured, the pitcher never went empty. We could easily have overflowed the fountain, but then the bronze hippocampi gave a snort, which was our warning signal.
I stirred the water with my hand, hoping the demon satyrs wouldn’t notice the ice cubes floating around the horses’ hooves. Then Sam and I hunkered down behind a bench to wait.
“Let’s go over the plan again,” I whispered. “One: demon satyrs drink from the fountain. Two: we make sure they all get vaporized. Three: we head to the bridge to find the magic item. Four…”
My voice trailed off. Sam bit his lip. Neither of us knew what would happen at step four. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any satyrs left back at demon satyr headquarters. Hopefully we’d find the magic item, and it would give me some answers.
“When we get to the bridge,” Sam said, “be sure to stick close to me. There could be hundreds of people there. We don’t want to get separated.”
Warning bells went off in my head. “Sam…if there’s a crowd of mortals like that at the bridge every night, how did the demon satyr zero in on you?”
“He probably smelled me. Monsters can smell satyrs, and demigods, and—”
“Sam, if the demon satyr could smell you in a huge crowd, won’t they pick up your scent here tonight?”
Sam’s eyes widened with panic. “I didn’t think—it never occurred to me—blah-ah-ah! Blah-ah-ah!” He bleated in terror.
“We’ve got to get out of here!”
“Too late!” he moaned. “Look!”
In the growing gloom, a dozen shadowy figures crept toward the fountain. They walked hunched over, sort of like gorillas, except gorillas didn’t have cloven feet—or glowing red eyes. The biggest demon satyr straightened and sniffed the air. His head swiveled in our direction, his slitted ruby eyes searching the dark.
Next to me, Sam shivered. “All my fault,” he whimpered, his tone anguished. “I should’ve known.” He tensed, ready to flee.
“Don’t move,” I hissed. “You run and they’ll get you!”
Sam stayed put, but I could sense his terror growing.
Another demon lifted its head and sniffed.
Sam looked at me, eyes wide. “If we don’t run,” he whispered, “you’ll have to either fight them or outsmart them.”
Do you have any ideas?”
“None,” whispered Sam. “Zero. And you gotta decide now.”
I peeked over the bench and saw the hulking monsters all raising their heads now, all sniffing the air. Time was up.
I went with my gut.
Select a choice:
FIGHT
OUTSMART
WARNING! You’re about to spoil a great story by not making a choice! Page back, then click one of the links to advance the story. Otherwise, the next section may not make any sense to you.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. As quietly as I could, I grabbed Sam’s backpack and fumbled inside until I found what I was looking for—the bag of Dorito dust.
“Zane?” Sam asked. “You’re going to have a snack now?”
Ignoring his question, I shoved the toothbrush and the library card into Sam’s backpack, not wanting to get them wet. I opened the foil bag and dumped the contents over my head.
“Here’s hoping they like the smell of nacho-flavored demigod more than original-flavored satyr.” Before Sam could stop me, I strode to th
e fountain.
“OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL EVENING!” I said loudly.
The satyr leader turned and snarled at me. His eyes narrowed. His nostrils flared.
At that moment, I detected the flaw in my plan. Namely, the plan didn’t include an escape route. Nevertheless, I had to throw these things off Sam’s scent and still find a way to make them drink the tea.
I stumbled to the edge of the fountain. “Hello, boys!” I yelled at the satyrs. “Wanna drink from this fountain? Can’t! It’s mine now! My fountain!”
I jumped in and splashed around like an idiot. “Ha, ha! Can’t drink from my fountain! Nossir! I claim it in the name of…Dorito-flavored demigods everywhere.”
The lead demon gave three short bleats. The pack rushed me.
At that point, I was pretty sure I would die. I only hoped I could somehow splash enough tea in the monsters’ mouths to take a few of them with me. Maybe, with luck, Sam could get away. He was my only friend. I couldn’t let him get turned into goat-meat tacos by a band of bridge-dwelling cannibals.
But Sam had other ideas. “Zane!” he yelled. “Catch!”
Sam popped out from behind the bench and threw something small and white. I snatched the toothbrush out of the air.
For a split second, I thought Sam really needed to get over the whole fluoride thing. This was no time for dental hygiene. Then I remembered that this was no ordinary toothbrush.
I stroked the bristles with my thumb and the toothbrush sprang into sword form, the bright blue gem gleaming on the hilt.
“How do you like me now?” I yelled at the demons.
The leader hissed. Then, as one, the satyr pack veered toward Sam.
“Hey, no!” I screamed. “Over here! Fountain water! Dorito flavoring!”
“I’ve got you, adorable goat man!” cried Columbia.
With a powerful beat of her wings, the bronze goddess swooped from her chariot, scooped up Sam in her arms, and flew to the nearest treetop.
The demons stopped, bleating with fury.
“There, there. You’re safe now,” Columbia crooned, cuddling Sam like a baby. “As for you nasty cannibal goat-men, this one is mine! You’ll have to settle for eating demigod.”
Thanks a lot, I thought.
A dozen sets of glowing red eyes locked on me.
“That’s right!” I said, waving my sword. “Kill me and eat me if you must, but do not drink from my fountain! DO NOT!”
I tried my best to act terrified. It wasn’t hard. I climbed the slippery tiers of the fountain until I stood in Columbia’s chariot, distancing myself as far from the satyrs as possible.
“That would pain me too much!” I yelled. “If I had to watch you filthy demons drink from these pure waters before you killed me, that would be too horrible! I simply couldn’t. I would cry. Like, a lot!”
They’re not going to fall for it, I thought. They’re not that stupid.
I gripped my sword tightly, wondering how many of the monsters I could take down before they killed me.
Then the demon leader hissed with laughter. His smile was even more disgusting than Barton the hippie river god’s.
“Satyrs, drink your fill,” he commanded. “Show this demigod that we control the fountain. Fill him with despair before we devour his flesh!”
“No!” I wailed. “Take my flesh, but never my refreshing fountain water!”
The pack advanced.
The satyrs lowered their faces to the water and slurped away.
C’mon, I urged silently, holding my breath. Poof into oblivion! C’mon!
Nothing happened. My heart sank. Our plan had failed.
The lead demon straightened and smacked his lips with satisfaction. “And now…”
His glowing red eyes went dark, and he collapsed in a heap.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
One by one, the rest of the pack fell to the pavement and lay still.
“Okay,” I muttered. “Not exactly what I was expecting.”
I leaped out of the fountain and splashed toward the nearest monster. He was snoring open-mouthed. And, just like Sam had warned, demon satyr breath smelled like week-old roadkill.
“Well done!” cried Columbia. She fluttered down from the treetop and set Sam on his feet. “You have vanquished the monsters!”
“But…” I realized what must’ve happened. “The water diluted the tea, making it less potent. That’s why it put them to sleep instead of vaporizing them.”
“That doesn’t matter!” Columbia said. “The satyrs are out like lights. I can take care of them from here.”
I bit back a comment, like You’re a goddess. Why couldn’t you have taken care of them to begin with? But I was starting to realize that gods and goddesses didn’t work that way. They would much rather watch heroes do all the work.
“C’mon, Sam,” I said. “We’ve got to get to the bridge!”
Columbia sighed with disappointment. “Leaving so soon?”
“Um, yeah,” Sam said. “Sorry, Goddess. Things to do, places to be. But thanks for, you know, saving me from being eaten. I owe you one. Bye!”
We jogged the entire two miles to the Congress Avenue Bridge. It was fully dark when we arrived. The crowds had dispersed along with the bats.
We crept down the slope of the riverbank. I didn’t see any signs of movement from underneath the bridge.
“Stay close,” I told Sam, brandishing my toothbrush.
Sam shook his head. “No. This is for you to do alone, Zane. Remember what Brykhon said? Only the next great hero can obtain this magic item. And only demigods can be heroes, not satyrs.”
I squeezed his arm. “You’re a hero to me, Sam. But all right, how about you be the lookout? We don’t want any random leftover demon satyrs sneaking up on us. And in case you need it…”
I gave Sam my toothbrush, which seemed to surprise him. Then, before I thought about it too much, I hurried under the bridge.
GO UNDER THE BRIDGE
WARNING! You’re about to spoil a great story by not making a choice! Page back, then click one of the links to advance the story. Otherwise, the next section may not make any sense to you.
“I’ll fight them,” I blurted out, strangely calm.
Sam looked at me like I’d turned into a hippocampus. “What? How?”
“Well, I have my toothbrush…” I said, scanning the area for something else—anything else—I could use to fight a dozen eight-foot demon monsters. That was…ninety-six feet of monster, slowly clip-clopping toward us.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I leaped up and started walking, trying to get them away from Sam. He was my only friend. I couldn’t let him get turned into goat-meat tacos by a band of bridge-dwelling cannibals. The toothbrush felt heavy in my hand.
The demon satyr leader turned and snarled at me. His eyes narrowed. His nostrils flared. Behind him, the other monsters anxiously jostled one another.
I walked faster. I didn’t know if they liked the taste of demigod as much as satyr, but I wasn’t about to let them get close enough to find out.
“Hot out here, right, guys?” I said nervously. “Boy, am I thirsty.” They seemed to have lost all interest in the fountain.
I tried to force a whistle out of my shaking lips as I walked, but ended up settling for nervous humming.
Clip-clop. Clip-clop. All the demon satyrs were moving toward me now. I’d distracted them from Sam, but now what?
“I mean, that fountain looks really, really refreshing. If I were you, I’d stop and drink my fill…” I trailed off as the lead demon trotted toward me, picking up speed. His eyes flashed and he tilted his head back, emitting a long, gurgling howl.
The entire pack rushed me as one.
I raised the toothbrush and stroked the bristles with my thumb. It sprang into sword form, the bright blue gem gleaming on the hilt.
I swung it in front of me, driving the group back a bit. They bleated at one another and stopped, staring at me with what was clearly mu
rderous rage. “That’s right!” I shouted, swinging the sword again. “Back off!”
They bleated a few more times, then began to spread out, slowly trapping me in a large semicircle, pushing me toward a graffiti-covered wall.
As my back hit the cold concrete, I swung the sword again, but the demon satyrs didn’t seem nearly as frightened this time.
“I think you chose wrong!” I heard Sam yell.
“Sam!” I shouted. “Run!”
“I can’t leave—I’m supposed to protect you!”
“Well, you’re not doing a very good job,” I said, looking above me for any possible way out.
The demon satyrs, working as a single unit, closed in.
I tried to stab one of them with my sword, but it leaped back, then quickly regained its place in the tightening circle.
A high-pitched squeal reverberated through the area, and it took me a moment to recognize it as a battle cry. Sam charged the group of demon satyrs, head lowered, nubby horns pointed at the nearest monster. The group bleated frantically at each other, and three split off, blocking Sam’s approach.
The closest demon satyr reached a gnarled claw out and grabbed the top of Sam’s lowered head, stopping him in his tracks.
“Gonna…get…you,” gasped Sam as his cloven hoofs churned aimlessly against the pavement. The other two demon satyrs flanked Sam and lifted him into the air.
“Sam!” I shouted, leaping to my right, trying to reach him. The other nine monsters closed in, trapping me against the wall, snarling and bleating, their eyes glowing.
I watched in helpless horror as Sam was carried away, his squeaking voice fading into the distance.
The remaining monsters tightened the circle, closer and closer…
I swung the sword as hard as I could, but the lead demon satyr reached out and slapped it from my hands. A gnarled hoof kicked it away.
Red eyes and sharp teeth filled my vision.
The last thing I remember hearing was the horrible bleating of the monsters…
Zane…
My head was killing me. I could sense light all around, doing its best to sneak in between my closed eyelids.