by Ramy Vance
Suzuki stopped as well and pulled out a leather-bound journal. “So, there are different kinds of riddles, and riddle doors don’t seem to make a distinction or care. I wasn’t joking when I said I think we’re supposed to die, but we found a way around the actual death part. Here, check it out.”
He pulled his axebeak around to Terra and Anabelle and opened the book. “Tell us a story about getting past this riddle door.”
The book, whose pages were blank, started to fill up with words in a language Terra couldn’t read, but she heard a voice in her head in plain English. “There are many routes to the realm of death. The sword, a blessing of the gods, or a simple jar. Many have chosen the jar throughout time and space. Kings, warriors, liches—”
Terra got excited and leaned forward. “Did it say ‘liches?’”
The voice in her head cleared its throat and said, “Yes, I did. Now, as I was saying, a simple jar held in many dungeons can allow one to store their soul for a period of time. The Mundanes and the Dark Gate Angels were able to procure one of these jars to rest their souls in, placing it before the riddle door. They went on to live happily ever after.”
Suzuki closed the book and stuffed it back into his sack. “Sometimes he kinda fudges the endings, but you get the point.”
Anabelle grabbed Suzuki by the neck of his armor. “Are you saying you and Abby spent all night talking about how to kill us and shove our souls in a jar?”
Suzuki calmly peeled Anabelle’s fingers off him. “Yes, more or less. And sorry I wasn’t more direct in telling you. I’m not used to having to explain the minutiae of my plans.”
Sandy, whose wand was aimed at Anabelle, nodded. “We trust Suz. Maybe you should too.”
Terra looked around. The Mundanes had surrounded her and Anabelle, and their weapons were drawn.
Anabelle’s eyes narrowed as she leaned back. “You four have exceptional teamwork. I didn’t even see any signals.”
Suzuki adjusted his armor. “Thanks. Now, are you ready to get this vase?”
Terra and Anabelle exchanged glances. “Yeah, I guess we can give this whole ‘trusting a kid’ thing a try,” Terra said.
Suzuki smiled as the Mundanes sheathed their weapons. “Trust me. It works out more often than not.”
Chapter Eleven
Anabelle was in a funk for the entire trip to the new dungeon. She hated riding the axebeak and having to constantly kick it in the sides for it to listen to commands. No elvish steed would behave like this, she thought. Not even a human steed. Horse? Is that what they call them? Yeah, not even a fucking horse would be this goddess-damned obstinate!
She hated the needlessly drawn out time it was taking to get to the dungeon. The DGA would have already portaled in and taken the vase. We would be done by now. Instead, I’m being eaten alive by whatever gods-awful insects this accursed place has.
More than anything else, Anabelle hated taking orders from the MERCs. She’d taken orders from Terra before. That was tolerable, even if it had ruffled her a little bit. At least she knew Terra had the capacity to lead. Anabelle knew that was nothing more than pride. But this? This went too far.
Suzuki hadn’t even bothered to tell her what was going on, and she highly doubted he and Sandy had spoken much to Abby about the situation. The girl would have delivered a full report, letting her know what was happening.
Out of curiosity, Anabelle pulled up her HUD to look for messages. There was one from Abby.
Anabelle opened it and skimmed it. Okay, even though Abby had let me know what was happening, Suzuki still should have talked to me. A little consideration between party leaders would have been appreciated.
She shut the message and continued to follow the Mundanes, her stomach growling as the trash mead the MERCs insisted was brewed by the gods themselves churned within her.
Suzuki looked over his shoulder and shouted at Anabelle, “We will be there in a couple of minutes. The dungeon should be easy enough. From my intel, it doesn’t seem like this vase has been pinged by a lot of people other than MERCs.”
Terra, who was up near Sandy and Stew, asked, “Why wouldn’t a MERC be interested in a vase to store your soul?”
Stew stared at Terra. “Kinda sucks the fun out of it if you have infinite lives.”
Suzuki raised his hand, bringing the party to a stop. “We’re here.”
There was a cave ahead, covered in moss and vines.
Suzuki leapt off his axebeak and drew his sword as he approached the door. He hacked the foliage away and took a step back as the rest of the party joined him. “Just because I said it was going to be easy, it doesn’t mean I meant it won’t be dangerous. We still have to make sure we—”
Anabelle stepped forward, her arms crackling with energy. “Yeah, yeah, got it,” she mumbled as she blasted through the door. “Can we go now?”
The Mundanes stared at Anabelle. “Yeah, I guess,” Suzuki replied. “You want to lead the way?”
Anabelle laughed and took a step back. “No, no. By all means, please do so.”
Suzuki took point, heading into the dark cavern. The rest of the Mundanes followed, trailed by Anabelle and Terra.
Anabelle wasn’t paying close attention to the cave. As far as she was concerned, everything underground looked like everything else. She was confused as to how drow or deep gnomes could stand living in such a place. Rocks everywhere. No sunlight. It was miserable.
The cavern sloped down, forcing the party to slide on their asses farther into the cavern.
When Anabelle finally landed at the end of the dirt slide, she got to her feet and brushed the dust off her uniform.
All around her were intricate stalagmites and stalagmites. It gave the opening of the cave the look of jaws ready to close on her. For a moment, she was taken in by the beauty of the shadows caused by the illuminating spell Sandy had cast. Then she realized a human had cast the spell, very adequately. “Human, I mean, Sandy. Where did you learn that?”
Sandy pocketed her wand as she wandered around the cavern, looking closely at the rock formations. “That? Oh, that was one of the first spells I learned. Granted, I’ve beefed it up with some help from Diana. That bad boy could brighten up all of Middang3ard if I really tried.”
Anabelle had never seen a human use magic so naturally. For the first time in decades, she was jealous of someone else’s ability, almost jealous enough to ask for advice. Instead, she walked over to Terra, who was bickering with Stew about how much they could lift.
Stew had crouched by a boulder. “At the moment, I’m working on getting up to a metric ton.”
Terra looked at the boulder and shrugged. “Okay, I get it; you’re strong.”
“How much can you lift?”
“Never really cared to measure it.”
Stew rested his foot on the boulder. “Bet you’d have a hard time with this.”
Beth, who was nearby, groaned when she heard the conversation.
Terra knocked on the boulder. “This? No problem.” She leaned back, raising her leg, and kicked the boulder, which went flying into the wall.
Suzuki jumped when it crashed into the stone. “Could you guys cool it? We don’t know what’s in here.”
As soon as Suzuki finished speaking, there was a rumble from deep in the tunnels ahead.
Anabelle grabbed Terra by the back of her uniform. “Seriously, are you having a pissing contest with that kid?”
Terra removed Anabelle’s hand. “At least I’m having fun, unlike you and Suzuki. Having a hard time following instructions.”
Anabelle glared at Terra. “I just think there should be more communication between senior officers.”
“Yeah, Anabelle. That’s exactly what it is.”
Beth, who had crouched near the entrance of the tunnels and was looking through a spyglass, shouted, “Hey, guys, we got company.”
As soon as the words were out of Beth’s mouth, the screaming of goblins could be heard. The Mundanes drew their weapons.<
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Anabelle charged her body with fire, flames leaping off her hands as Terra pulled her axe from her back. “What’s the plan?” the elf asked.
Suzuki looked over his shoulder at Anabelle. “You really want to know?”
“Yes! What are you planning?”
Suzuki checked above him, then he scratched his chin with his sword as he looked around the room. “Hm. Magic users, I want you in the back giving support. You too, Beth. Tanks to the front with me. We’re going to let a bunch of them into the cavern with us. Use the rock formations above to take them out, and we’ll be able to clean this up pretty fast.”
Anabelle didn’t say anything but moved into position with Sandy. She scanned the cavern. She and Sandy would easily be able to detach the rock formations above. It was a good plan.
Suzuki’s shout broke Anabelle’s concentration. “All right, here they come!”
Goblins poured into the room from the mouth of the tunnel. They were armed to the teeth, each carrying at least two axes or swords. Foaming at the mouth, they chattered in their own tongue, leaping and climbing over each other for the chance to spill blood.
One of the goblins leapt and tackled Suzuki.
Beth, who was back with the magic users, drew her bow and fired an arrow that nailed the goblin on top of Suzuki. She fired three more in rapid succession, taking out three additional goblins in a matter of seconds. As the arrows flew, Stew landed on top of a goblin and took its head off with a clean blow.
Terra, on the other hand, was quickly being overwhelmed. There were at least ten goblins on her, forming a giant pile that she was buried under.
Anabelle was surprised. She’d seen Terra wrestle a dragon, and here she was being beaten by a small number of goblins.
Anabelle couldn’t stay surprised for long. At her side, Sandy was casting spell after spell, targeting the goblins piling on top of Terra.
Stew barreled toward Anabelle and flung his body onto the pile of goblins. “Terra! I’m here! Barbarians stick together!”
Stew started tossing goblins off Terra. Suddenly, there was a loud roar, and the goblins on top of Terra were tossed into the air as she swung her axe wildly. “Breathing space, people, breathing space!”
Stew landed on the ground and stared up at Terra in awe. “Dude, that was awesome.”
Terra got her feet and stomped on a goblin, crushing its skull. “Yeah, I know. I fucking rock. Now, are we going to kick some ass?” She swung her axe in a full circle, slashing through anything unfortunate enough to be near her, then tossing the axe to Stew in one fluid motion.
Sandy, who was at Anabelle’s side, smirked. “I think he’s falling in love.”
Anabelle channeled a bolt of lightning at the rock formation above them, causing a handful of stalagmites to fall on a group of goblins. “Excuse me? Are you serious?”
Sandy waved her wand, casting a panic spell on the goblins near those that had just died. “No, of course not. Just kidding. Stew’s very…excitable. I do think he’s got a crush on Terra. He’s more…expressive than I tend to be with people.”
Anabelle didn’t have a hard time seeing that. She thought Sandy was more than a little bit cold. “You don’t get jealous?”
“I definitely get jealous, but we have a good thing, and I trust him. He trusts me. If anything feels weird, we just talk about it.”
Goblins were still running into the cavern. A deep roar came from the back end of the tunnel, and an ogre burst in. It stood nearly seven feet, and its bulbous stomach hanging over its naked genitals. Swinging a war hammer, it dumbly waded into the battle.
Suzuki slashed through a goblin and looked at the ogre before calling to Beth, “Do you think you can take out its eyes?”
Beth drew an arrow. “Isn’t that more of a cyclops thing?”
“Is that a yes or a no?”
Terra’s eyes lit up when she saw the ogre.
Anabelle raised her hand in front of Beth. “Do you think you could let her have this? She hasn’t had a fight she’s been interested in for a bit. Maybe Stew might get a kick out of it as well.”
Beth lowered her bow.
Terra threw herself at the ogre, hitting it in the chest and reaching for the club it held in its hand. The ogre grabbed Terra by the neck and slammed her into the ground.
Beth slowly raised her bow. “You sure you don’t want—”
Anabelle nodded. “Let’s take care of the goblins. Let her have a good time.”
Beth gave Anabelle a confused look. “This is her idea of a good time?”
Before she finished her sentence, Terra was back on her fight. She grabbed a screaming goblin next to her, relieved it of its sword, and threw it at the ogre.
Stew, who had been hanging back, shouted, “You mind if I get in on this?”
Terra swung her sword at the ogre. “If you think you can keep up.”
Stew cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders. “As if I couldn’t.” He charged the ogre, which stepped to the side and brought its club down on his head.
As Stew fell, Terra took hold of the club. Even from this distance, Anabelle could see the fire in her eyes. The elf hadn’t seen that for a while.
Terra pulled the club, which easily half the size of her body, from the ogre, retreating with it for a second. Then she whirled and cracked it across the ogre’s head.
The ogre stumbled back, and Terra tossed the club to the side. She ran at the ogre and hit it with an uppercut, and the sound of the ogre’s cracking jaw reverberated through the cavern.
Anabelle cast another lightning bolt as Sandy continued to curse the goblins in the cavern. Beth shot arrow after arrow, picking up the stragglers. A few feet away, Terra was still going blow for blow with the ogre. As Stew made it to his feet, Terra cupped both hands together and slugged the ogre in the face. Then she picked up the club again and brought it down on the ogre’s skull.
Suzuki slashed through the last goblin and sheathed his sword. “That could have gone smoother.”
Anabelle was surprised to hear that coming from Suzuki. From what she’d seen, the whole battle had gone smoothly. None of the Mundanes had seemed even slightly worried or overtaxed. Anabelle had to admit, Suzuki knew how to come up with a plan.
Suzuki pointed down the tunnel. “Come on. If there’s any more, they’ll have to come through here. But it should be a straight shot to the vase.”
The two teams made their way down the tunnel. The whole way, Stew gushed about Terra’s fight with the ogre.
Anabelle fought the urge to ask Sandy about her magical abilities since she was curious. She’d never seen a human effortlessly work magic the way Sandy did, and definitely not one so young.
Suzuki stopped suddenly. “There it is.”
At the end of the tunnel was a gold chest. Suzuki went up to it and then motioned for Anabelle. “You want to do the honors?”
Anabelle walked up to the chest but shook her head. “No, this was your battle. You should have the honor of opening the chest.”
“That actually usually goes to Stew, especially if he’s not getting any loot. Yo, Stew.”
The barbarian jogged past the rest of the party and set his axe in the chest’s crevice. He let out a heavy groan as he popped the chest open.
A simple clay jar sat in the chest. “Is that it?” Anabelle asked.
Suzuki scooped the jar out of the chest and looked it over. As he rolled the jar in his hand, it crumbled to dust.
Anabelle reached out to grab the remains of the jar. “What the hell is that?”
Suzuki let the dust fall to the ground. “Typical dungeon bullshit. We were probably expected to walk out with that. Sandy, can you help us?”
Sandy held her wand high and muttered an arcane incantation under her breath.
The wall behind the gold chest disappeared.
Suzuki poked his head into the darkness. “Jesus, you’d think a shit DM came up with this.”
Anabelle and Terra looked at each oth
er, confused. The Mundanes mirrored the DGA members’ expression. “You guys never played D&D?” Beth asked. “You know, when your dungeon master is trying to pull a fast one on you by hiding things behind enchantments?”
Neither Anabelle nor Terra responded.
Suzuki laughed as he shut the chest. “That just means we’re past the first part of the dungeon.”
Stew clapped his hand on Terra’s shoulder. “That’s nerdspeak for the fun part is coming up.”
Anabelle smiled despite herself. “Thank the goddesses. I was worried that it was nerdspeak for something stupid.”
Chapter Twelve
The lich didn’t need to sleep. That was one of the few things that terrified her. She’d spent a considerable amount of time in a deep slumber when she was encased in the Earth, trapped in a never-ending nightmare. She’d been like that since she was a child. There were horrifying things that slithered and spoke to her throughout the night, things with claws and gnashing teeth that threatened to swallow her.
When her soul had slipped out of her body and she started down her path, the thing she had first fallen in love with as a lich was how long she could read. Days upon days, until her eyes were dry. It didn’t hurt to blink, so she kept reading.
It was amazing what one could do without sleep or death. She had an infinite amount of time. The problem was, it all began to look the same—every day, every hour, each minute. A constant repetition that drilled itself into her skull until it was all she could see.
Because of that, Rasputina faced her fears every so often and tucked herself into bed to sleep. It always took her less time to fall asleep than she would have expected, and she did not dream. Not anymore. But she still shivered in bed beneath her covers until she drifted into blackness.
Tonight was not one of those nights, though. Rasputina tossed and turned as her mind ran in circles. Seeing the younger image of herself had left her shaken. Even though she had gutted her younger self and painted the walls with her blood, the lich had taken no joy in it.