“Hey, Chelly. I thought you got out of here a while ago. What’s up? Joseph is in his office.”
“Oh, okay. I can speak with him tomorrow.”
“No, I have a feeling we should do this now.” The tears hadn’t started flowing, but they were pooling in Michelle’s eyes so quickly that one blink would have them pouring down her face. “Come on. Let’s go see the lion in his den.” Robyn laughed, but straightened her expression once she noticed her companion had stopped walking. “I’m kidding. Aw, sweetie, it’s going to be all right.”
Normally, especially with everyone else gone, Robyn would have barged into the office and flopped on the couch to settle in for last minute notes or problems before heading home. The fact that she knocked put Joseph on alert.
“Come in.”
“Sorry to disturb you, Joseph, but Michelle really needs to speak to you.”
Joseph looked around his actress to his stage manager and tried to determine what this could possibly be about. Rehearsal had gone great earlier, and he was a little surprised that any of the actors were still hanging around.
“Michelle, it’s never a problem to make time for my star. Come in and have a seat. Thank you, Robyn.”
“Sure.”
“Please stay. Robyn, please stay.”
Taking the hand that was extended to her, Robyn slid into the other seat in front of Joseph’s desk.
“I can tell something is wrong,” he said, “and I feel pretty certain it isn’t about the rehearsal or the show. So, let’s hear it.”
Gulping as the pain shot up her arm, Robyn took her other hand and petted the trembling beauty beside her.
“I have to leave the show. There’s just no way I can stay on.”
Leave the show? That couldn’t be right. Robyn stared at Joseph and silently prayed that her mouth wasn’t hanging open and that nothing stupid flew out of it. Giving them both a steady comforting look, Joseph addressed the subject hanging in the air.
“I’m going to need a little more information. The show is dependent on you, Michelle. This is a life changing role, and walking away from it—”
“Is career suicide? I know, but I don’t have a choice. Once you know why, you’ll understand.”
“Then I think you need to get to the why, sweetheart.”
There was that squeeze again. Robyn wasn’t delicate, but who knew Michelle had such a killer grip?
“I’m pregnant. I’m seven weeks pregnant, and I had no idea. I have to be the stupidest woman on the planet! Who doesn’t notice a thing like that happening in their body?”
Coming around his desk, Joseph took her hand out of Robyn’s and held both of them in his much larger ones. “You are not stupid, and I’m sure your doctor will explain that their are a number of reason why you didn’t notice before you did. I still don’t see why you can’t stay with the show. We can refit the costumes. I doubt you’ll be showing much by opening night.”
“It’s not that. It’s Jimmy.”
Robyn shrugged, as she had no clue who Jimmy was, either.
“Who’s Jimmy?”
“My boyfriend. Well, I guess my fiancé, now.”
Getting up to get them all some water, Robyn squeezed Michelle’s shoulder. She came back and placed it before her.
“Thank you. We’ve been doing this commuter thing and trying to make it work, but I’ve been refusing to give up the stage and commit to living with him in Texas. He’s a lawyer, and his practice moved him out there a year ago. There’s no way I can keep dodging that move now. I can’t ask him to come live back here in Arizona. I can’t give up my baby. I can’t be a single mother. So, I can’t finish the show.”
The wail she let out didn’t just come from her vocal chords, but sounded like it came from the depths of her soul. It was heartbreaking. It seemed like she was truly caught between a rock and a hard place. She was only a few years younger than Robyn, who could see a tiny reflection of what her relationship turmoil must’ve looked like to her sisters at the time. Joseph pulled her up and gave her the comfort she obviously needed.
“Making life changing decisions when you’re this upset isn’t good. You have the next two nights off. Why don’t you see if you and Jimmy can work this out? Take some quiet time to figure out exactly what you want. I can’t give you an indefinite amount of time, but I want you to put the show on the shelf for the next two days and only think about what will make you most happy.”
She nodded into his chest and mumbled something that made little sense to Roby from where she was standing. Noticing the shaking and sobbing settling down, Robyn knew what she came to love about hugging Joseph was having the same effect on Michelle.
“You going to be okay to drive home?”
“Yes. I just need to make one more trip to the bathroom. Thank you for understanding and for giving me some time. This is what I love about this theatre community. What if I can’t find my place in Texas? What if—”
“Bathroom. Home. Sleep. Two days. All of the answers aren’t going to come tonight.”
Michelle seemed to be pulled into his strong unwavering stare, and resolved to take the advice he gave. She’d done what she could and needed to for the night. Grabbing her bag, she offered them both a quick goodnight and another thank you before heading out. The silence she left them in lingered.
“Wow! Not what I was expecting. You?”
“No. It’s a lot to think about over the next two days. I’ll start putting together a list and speak with Sean tonight. We’ll start making calls tomorrow.”
“What?” Robyn was at a loss. Was he going to fire her as a preemptive strike? “You just told her she didn’t need to make any life changing decisions, and you’re going to start calling her replacement in the morning. That’s pretty shitty!”
“Whoa! Settle down. I’m going to make sure she’s gone and lock the front doors. Pull yourself together before I get back.
Pacing back and forth, Roby wasn’t doing anything to calm herself down enough for a rational conversation.
“Have a seat. Listen to me. She isn’t going to come back. She’ll want to, but the facts are what they are. Even if she decides to stay in two days, in the next two, she’ll want to go again. I won’t make it impossible for her to leave or lay a guilt trip on her because I’m not prepared for her to go. We cannot wait two days to start these conversations, and you know it.”
His being rational and making sense should’ve helped her mood, but somehow it just grated on her that he was, in fact, right. It seemed like Joseph was always right, no matter the situation.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he said.
Flopping in the chair and throwing both her legs over the left arm, Robyn put her head back and sighed with a heaviness that relayed her dismay. Joseph had learned to wait for her to put her thoughts into precise words, and was working on something on his computer when she found her voice again.
“It’s not fair. Why does she have to move? Why does she have to make the change? She’s going to give up everything she knows for an uncertain future with a man who wasn’t willing to give it all up for her. It just doesn’t seem fair.”
He stopped typing. “I’m glad you didn’t say all of that while she was still here.”
“I wouldn’t have. I wanted to, though. Ugh. He’ll probably end up doing something that messes up the whole thing in the end, and she’ll end up back here with a bad reputation for dropping out of a lead role in the middle of the rehearsal process.”
“Yeah, we need to get out of here for tonight. Let’s get some take out and finish this work at the house.”
“Joseph, I don’t feel like making that drive back and forth tonight. I’ll be fine, and I promise not to call and share my opinion with Michelle in the next forty-eight hours.”
“We’ll go to your place, and I think you know how I’d feel about that sort of interference.”
That was his less than subtle way of saying end of discussion!
“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place that literally felt too small for me,” Joseph said.
“You’re being ridiculous, you know that, right?” Roby replied. “This is a regular, full-size apartment, not something you’d see on home tours for little people. I keep telling you, I’m perfectly normal size. Some might even say average.”
Ducking under an open overhead cabinet, Roby was treated to the sound of his derisive snort. “That sound is highly unbecoming,” she said.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with the picture he filled out in her mind. Roby imagined being quite cozy in this little space with her very own giant. He wasn’t some tall lanky boy coming into his height. Instead, he was the embodiment of manhood. Standing six foot five inches, he was a solid wall of muscle. Meticulous about what he put into his body, the man also practiced yoga every morning, and ran five miles a day. He was up at dawn and ready to go at full tilt no later than 10am every day. The numbers said he was six years older than her, but he made thirty-five look every bit a decade younger. She hadn’t seen him all dressed up yet, but he filled out denim quite nicely.
“Hello! Pesto or sundried tomato?” he asked.
“Um, did I drift off? Pesto, or whatever you want.” She wanted to get back to her silent ogling and inappropriate thoughts.
“No. We’re not doing that tonight, Roby. You are eating what I put in front of you.”
There was that look, along with the tone. Joseph wasn’t a fan of her propensity to eat in her car or inhale all things ready made and microwaveable. At first, he thought she just lacked skills in the kitchen, but was disabused of that fallacy when she extended an invitation to her sister’s house for a cookout. Watching her with her sisters in Merry’s kitchen was a wonder. It had all been very domestic and normal. Robyn had made several dishes, including a multi-layer chocolate cake from scratch, with the lightest mousse filling he’d ever tasted. She clearly knew what good food was and how to make it, but most days she ate like she was still a poor undergraduate student.
“It smells great! Why wouldn’t I? I can be very agreeable, Joseph.”
She made no attempt at holding his gaze when he shot the glare her way. His almost navy blue eyes held a smoldering smirk that let her know, when she stole a look, that he knew she was messing with him on purpose.
“Just for that, missy, you’re on dish duty by yourself when we’re done.”
“That hardly seems fair. You’re using, like, thirty dishes. I would’ve microwaved a meal and eaten it out of the container.”
“Don’t remind me. Set the table, please.”
“Yes, Joseph. Hey, I’ll grab my laptop and your bag, so we can work, too.”
“No. First we eat, and then work.”
It was getting harder to be with him without being with him. Even though there was no way she needed a relationship at work this soon after her divorce, she was drawn to being in his company. He stayed on her case about some of her less than stellar ways, but coming from him, it wasn’t the same as being nagged by Merry or Gram E. It wasn’t even the same as Sean. She had finally met the one. Only they never ever talked about it, and it was starting to make her crazy. Robyn didn’t do well with uncertainty.
Dinner was fun. When they relaxed and let work go for a few hours, Joseph and Robyn had more in common than anyone would imagine. Neither suffered foolishness, and both had little room for dishonesty. Robyn joked that she preferred a painful truth any day, and he promised to keep his honesty plenty painful, to her backside, in the future. He enjoyed her classic rock play list that made Heyther cringe, and even though he refused to wet even one finger in an effort to help with the dishes, he did dry and put them away. He thought the idea of her going up and down on the little box step she kept by the fridge a waste of time when he was right there.
“Sounds like Gram E was one tough cookie,” he said.
“That woman was a warrior in every way. She went back to work, learned to drive, and took care of my mom all on her own after Grandpa died. Then when my folks split, and my dad decided fulltime parenting wasn’t for him, my mom needed help, and she jumped right back into the mess that is the teenage girl, without batting an eye.”
“I can’t imagine Merry being a handful.”
“No, she really wasn’t. Sometimes the occasional mischief, but nothing that would bring the cops to the door. Don’t give me that look. They only came about me twice. You know, about the car, and I’m not ready to reveal the full depths of my humiliation about the other time, yet.”
“Okay, you get a pass this time. Let’s tackle that to do list and call Sean.”
It was probably Sean’s role as producer that gave him that much power over Joseph, but Roby was glad when Joseph took him off speaker phone and suggested she go ahead and get ready for bed while he finished up. She knew it was more about her not hearing the rest of their conversation than really sending her off like a little kid, so she didn’t protest. Although she bristled at commands normally, that one hadn’t given her a moment's pause.
“We need to talk.” He had moved to her sofa and patted the spot next to him when she came out of her bedroom.
“I definitely don’t like the sounds of that. Am I going to need one of those?” It appeared at least a full finger had already been consumed, from the look in his eyes, and another two fingers full of amber liquid was sloshing around the tumbler he held.
“You can have a sip of mine. You don’t want to be hung over when you go see Sean and Jerry tomorrow.”
Taking the glass and sitting with her legs crossed facing him from the opposite end of the sofa, she waited and sipped. His burst of laughter was contagious. She found herself giggling along without even knowing why.
“What?”
“A little strong, is it?”
“It’s gross! I had this in my stock?” Shoving the vile liquid back into his outstretched hand, she shook her head as if to rid her body and senses of the atrocious after taste.
“No, I did. It was in the flask in my bag, and I’m glad I forgot to take it out.”
“Sounds serious. Did I do something wrong? I mean, what did you tell Sean that he wants to see me in the morning?”
“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. The tongue-lashing was all for me, I’m afraid. Thank you for giving me privacy in your home. There’s something Sean is demanding I do that I think is going to end up as a disaster, but he’s the producer, and frankly, boss to both of us, so you are going to go to his house in the morning and put together the offer and start working on the contract for Michelle’s replacement.”
“Sean already has someone?”
He really did resemble a lion king in a too small zoo cage as he paced around her compact living-dining room. If furrowed brows and repeated head scratching were any indication, the man was more than thrown by whatever Sean was about to bring down on them all.
“Yes, and the person and I have a history.”
“What kind of history? No, forget I asked that.”
This wasn’t the come clean about your feelings conversation he wanted to have with her, and certainly not the time or place, but his hand was being forced, and he didn’t want her ambushed at an even worse time.
“Better to have the painful truth, right?”
“I really want to say no right now. But, yes, just tell me, Joseph. Whatever it is.”
“The woman is an ex of mine, and to say things ended poorly would be an understatement. We weren’t on the same page, and we almost destroyed each other before we were through. I left for New York, and she went to Los Angeles. We made a point of going to complete opposite ends of the world, and now those worlds are about to collide in a very messy way.”
“I know we have a lot of work to make this transition happen, but can we spend a few minutes on this?” She was about to force the one issue they’d danced around and altogether avoided on a regular basis.
There was a little hesitation, but he eventually ca
me back to the couch. Making no moves toward her, he drew himself up and sat in perfect posture looking ahead. Robyn’s stomach made repeated somersaults waiting for him to— Well, she wasn’t quite sure what it was she was waiting for, but it was clearly his story to tell and pace to set.
“I had some pretty terrible ways before I left here a decade ago. Now, she might have some awful ways, but the way she feels about me isn’t a hundred percent unprovoked. The shows I was directing got bigger and bigger. Producers were calling me instead of me having to put together proposals and begging for work.”
“I can’t believe there was time when you were begging for work.” Robyn tried to lighten the mood, but it was like he hadn’t even heard her.
“She was a part of my first big hit and, like a superstition, I kept hiring her. She was— I mean she is a top-notch actress, but it wasn’t my best move. Our business and personal got tangled up so quickly that by the time either of us thought about bailing on the relationship, it was too late.”
“So, you slept with your leading lady. Don’t most directors eventually do that? I mean even in all of the little shows I’ve done, and honestly I think even in college, show-mances are the norm. Everyone says don’t, and most deny it, even when they’re busted, but it happens in every production.” She said the words, but she was still silently holding out hope that her story with him would end differently.
“It started out as just sleeping together, and then for some inexplicable reason, we moved in together. All the signs were there for a train wreck, yet neither of us had the sense to get out. I cheated a lot, and I feel pretty confident that she did, too. As long as we weren’t discussing it, we could accept it.”
“So, what? You eventually had a conversation?” Patience was not Roby’s strong suit.
“No, we didn’t. I got caught out like every stereotypical man eventually gets caught. The scene queen managed to let everyone in and outside of the restaurant know exactly who I was, what I’d done, and what she thought about it.”
Taking the Stage Page 5