“Or what it would cost,” he muttered.
“Cars…” She bit back the familiar argument. “When did the impressions start up again?”
“The first day of school.”
“Something with a student, then. Boy or girl?”
“Girl.”
“What’s her name?”
“Laurel Connor.”
“Hmm, sounds familiar.”
There was no easy way soften the blow of his next words, but Carson tried. “Jules, she’s Jaxon’s child.”
She gasped. “You’re joking, right?”
Her voice held all the warmth of a glacier. The jagged shards pierced his heart. “Not at all. She’s a beautiful girl, and her mother is amazing.”
Julie snorted. “And you’re in love with her. I can hear it in your tone. How could you fall for someone like that?”
“She didn’t know he was married.”
“So she says.”
Carson knew his sister’s forgiving nature wouldn’t allow her to stay angry long, especially if she knew the truth. “She was seventeen, Julie, and her parents were killed by a drunk driver. You know what a smooth talker Jaxon is. Once she found out he was a bigamous, she left and took Laurel with her. He’s stalked her ever since. I’m really worried this time. I believe Jaxon has crossed over the edge.”
A tense silence stretched between them. Carson could all but hear the gears turn in Julie’s mind and the echo of prayer from her heart. A deep sigh preceded her words.
“Be careful, Carson. Both of you be very careful and protect that child. I’ll be praying. Meanwhile, if you need anything, holler. And, please consider coming home for a visit.”
“I will, Jules.”
They said goodbye. Carson flipped the cell phone closed, slipped it in his pocket then retrieved his keys and escaped to the cool, dark, recesses of his house.
Later that evening, he lay on his bed, hands clasped behind his head, every sensory receptacle in his body on full alert. Lorelei’s reaction that morning to his sister’s name, and Julie to hers, weighed on his mind and heart. The fact that he had not heard from Lorelei since he dropped her and Laurel off at the car rental place only enhanced the uneasiness he felt. He picked up the phone, dialed her number. The breath lodged in his chest escaped in a relieved sigh when she answered.
“You’re still here,” he whispered.
“I told you already, I promised Laurel we’d settle here and I promised you I wouldn’t do anything rash. Don’t you trust me to keep my word?”
“Of course I do, guess I’m just feeling the strain of the last couple of days. How is Laurel?”
“Fine, clueless—at least I hope she’s clueless. The child is exceptionally perceptive. She asked me what we were fighting about. I brushed her off with some lame explanation of grown-up stuff.”
He chuckled. “What did she say?”
“She rolled her eyes and grunted, then went on about her business.”
The humor in her voice warmed his heart, sent an ache through his entire being. “Sure you two can’t move in over here?”
Heat curled over the line. Her sharp intake of breath assured him she felt it, too.
“Positive and if you’re going to start in on me about that, I’ll hang up.”
The husky, breathless sound of her voice made his body tighten with need. “Don’t hang up, I’ll behave.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Doesn’t matter as long as I can hear your voice.”
Her heavy sigh curled through him, quickened his pulse.
“How can it be we feel so much and these feelings run so deep?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not going to question what is obviously a rare and precious gift. Do you and Laurel plan to attend church tomorrow?”
“We do.”
“Want to ride together, then grab some lunch?”
“Sounds fun.”
“OK then, I’ll pick you two up around nine.”
“Would you like to have breakfast with us?”
“I’d love to.”
“OK, we’ll see you around eight, then.”
Her silence signaled the end of their conversation.
“Guess it’s good night, then.”
“‘Night.”
He fumbled to place the phone in its cradle. He awoke early the next morning, groggy and heavy-headed. He stumbled to the shower, turned on the water and stood a long time beneath the hot, pulsating spray. He could feel her presence in every pore as though they were one. His heart leapt, body responded.
“Jesus,” he rasped. “You’ll have to get this physical thing out of the way if I’m to keep a level head about the situation.”
The hot water stopped. He chuckled. Nothing like a cold shower, right, Lord?
Carson stepped from the tub, tied the towel around his waist and moved to the sink to shave. Images of fear and violence reflected in the foggy mirror.
Jaxon’s face, twisted with insanity, hovered over Lorelei and Laurel. His sadistic laughter echoed through the room.
Scripture reverberated through the atmosphere…Be sober and vigilant because your adversary the devil roams about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
“Fear not for I am with you always, even unto the end,” sounded clearly in the Voice he knew so well.
Carson stripped the towel from around his waist and wiped the glass clean. His hand shook when he applied a thick layer of shaving cream to his jaw. He turned on the tap. Hot water spewed from the spout. He placed the razor beneath the steamy stream.
“You know my heart, Lord, despite my anger,” his spirit whispered. “Equip me for the battle ahead. Allow me to redeem myself by protecting them.”
Thirty minutes later he knocked on Lorelei’s door. His heartbeat kicked into high gear. Her thick sable hair, clipped at the crown with a butterfly clasp, hung in soft curls over her shoulders and down her back. A cream-colored t-shirt dress with bold green designs brought out the golden flecks in her emerald eyes. He glanced over her shoulder to see if Laurel stood nearby. Assured the coast was clear, he slid his hand around her waist with a gentle tug then pulled the door shut.
“God, but you’re beautiful,” he breathed moments before his lips brushed over hers in a tender gesture. Her arms crept around his neck. He clung to the doorknob with one hand to insure Laurel would not catch them. His mouth swooped over hers, molded and clung until each ragged breath she took robbed him of much needed oxygen. He ended the kiss by slow degrees but held fast to the doorknob, and her, until she steadied in his grasp.
Parting was actually painful.
Lorelei leaned against the hard wooden structure. Her breath came sharp and severe. Her body ached from the strength of their embrace and yet, trembled with such violence her teeth threatened to chatter. “Carson, this has to stop.”
He shook his head as though to clear his thoughts. “I prayed this morning for God to temper this physical reaction so I can stay focused on your and Laurel’s safety. What I feel is more than physical, Lore, its soul deep.”
“How can that be? We hardly know each other.”
He shook his head again, caring etched in every feature, his eyes alive with emotions. “I don’t know, but I refuse to fear this. Let’s embrace what we feel, and the possibilities open to us.”
Laurel’s voice calling for her echoed.
Carson ran his knuckles along the curve of her cheek. The caress shivered through her entire being.
“You promised me breakfast.”
His quick smile eased the tension sizzling between them. Her heart did a little jig then spiraled into her stomach where it settled with a happy flip and a warm sigh.
Laurel called again.
Lorelei turned, opened the door and allowed his entrance. “Breakfast is coming right up.”
She paused on her way to the kitchen to kiss her daughter and bid her good morning.
“What were y’all doing on the porch?�
�
“Talking.”
Her eyes narrowed, gaze cut to Carson. “Are you two, like, dating or something?”
Carson chuckled. “Exceptionally perceptive you said?”
Lorelei sent him a warning glare then turned back to her daughter. “Would that be so bad?”
Her face scrunched up. “Eeewwwee, he’s my teacher.”
“The best teacher in the whole world and you like him.”
Laurel’s face colored at being reminded of her words. “Yeah, but as a teacher. What will everybody at school say?”
Lorelei smiled and brushed the consternation off her daughter’s face with a tender caress, then gave her a hug. “I like him too. As your teacher and as a man, but don’t worry, if we start to like each other as more than friends and parent/teacher, we’ll be very discreet. Now, how about pancakes and bacon for breakfast?” She asked, and with the skill bestowed on all parents, turned her child’s mind to more pressing matters—namely, her stomach.
“Great, I’m starved! I can’t find my gold barrette.”
“Think about the last time you wore it and I’m sure you’ll figure out where you left it.”
“Check under your bed,” Carson interjected when Laurel headed out of the room.
Her excited yelp a moment later made them smile.
She rushed back in the room, fastening the clip in her hair. “Wow, are you psychic or something?”
He laughed. “Or something. I’m hungry too.”
Carson sipped a cup of coffee and Laurel set the table while Lorelei prepared the meal. After breakfast, they piled up in the SUV he rented the day before and went to church. The morning passed without incident, as did lunch. In what appeared to be a spur-of-the-moment decision they spent the afternoon watching movies and snacking on popcorn and candy. Evening rolled around and though Laurel claimed to be ravenous, Carson and Lorelei were too full to contemplate more than soup and salad at a nearby diner. Night settled around them in various shades. Light from a full moon hung on a back drop of black velvet inset with a vast number of stars illuminating the darkness. Carson bid them goodnight and left. Lorelei tucked Laurel into bed with a kiss on the cheek.
“Mr. Alexander really is a nice guy isn’t he, Mom?”
Lorelei sat beside her daughter. “Yes, very nice.”
“And you like him?”
“Very much so.”
“Do you think he can protect us if Daddy shows up?”
“What makes you think your father will find us here?”
She shrugged. “Just a feeling.”
Unease crept up her spine. Could it be her daughter and Carson shared a similar connection to God and the universe? “You get these ‘feelings’ often, Laurel?”
She squirmed. “Sometimes it’s like I know something before it happens. Is that weird or what?”
Lorelei chose her words with care. “We are all spiritual beings, Laurel, living in a physical world. Some people retain their connection to the spiritual realm on a different level than others. There is nothing weird about that. In fact, I’d say the ability to discern things is a rare but precious gift from God. And, as long as you use that gift for good and not evil, He will bless you and allow you to keep it.”
“Mr. Alexander has the gift too, doesn’t he?”
Lorelei stared at her daughter in consternation.
“I…I always know. There was this girl when I was in second grade and another teacher in fourth grade. I…we can feel it in each other when we get to know…at least, I think. I usually just ignore it unless I…unless the Voice says something important.”
Lorelei raised her brows. “What would be important?
“Like if a ball is coming towards someone and it might hit them in the head. I yell watch out…but sometimes the ball hasn’t even been thrown yet.”
“I see.” Lorelei pulled the covers up over her girl. “I think Mr. Alexander might.”
“And you do like him as more than a friend, don’t you? Be honest, now.”
Again Lorelei chose her words with care. “I find myself drawn to him. Where that may lead is anybody’s guess. Since we’re being honest, how would you feel about that?”
Laurel’s face pinkened, her eyes glowed, voice lowered to a shy whisper. “I think he’s really neat and would make a great dad.”
“Do you feel safe and secure around him?”
Laurel nodded.
Lorelei hugged her. “So do I.” She rose and tucked the covers tighter around her daughter. “OK, enough talk. Time for bed, we have a full day tomorrow.”
“Will you be working at Mr. Alexander’s tomorrow?”
“Yes and every day until I’m done.”
“Good. Love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
Lorelei went into her bedroom and readied for sleep. All the while, questions rolled around in her head. Would Jaxon find them? Would Carson be able to protect her and Laurel if, when, he did? Should she marry Carson? Would their relationship withstand whatever Jaxon had in mind? Did they even have a relationship? She tossed and turned and at some point, fell into a restless slumber. Hours later she awoke drenched in sweat, her heart at a gallop and her senses on full alert.
Laurel cried out.
Lorelei lunged from the bed and raced into her daughter’s room. Laurel lay curled into a fetal position, a thumb in her mouth, and tears on her cheeks. Lorelei brushed the hair off her face, whispered her name. She whimpered.
Lorelei crawled under the covers, wrapped herself around her child, and whispered words of faith and comfort in an attempt to coax her from the place of terror in which she’d drifted while asleep. She awoke the next morning in a tangle of limbs and covers. Careful not to wake Laurel, she slid from the bed, stumbled into the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. Her mind drifted back over the years and many times they’d run. A pattern began to unfold when she realized Laurel’s actions last night emulated many before. Most of those times occurred on the eve of her decision to pack up and move.
Agony clenched her heart. Had she caused fear to take root in her daughter’s subconscious?
Or could it be something else?
Could it be her decision to pack up and move was based on a gut instinct to protect her child when Laurel acted like this? Could Laurel’s dreams be an indication Jaxon was near?
Goosebumps raced across her skin. The hair at the base of her neck prickled. A shiver shook her soul. She picked up the phone and dialed Carson’s number.
“We need to talk.”
The thread of tension in her voice set his teeth on edge. Carson gripped the phone, held it tighter against his ear. “What’s wrong?”
“I think you were right Saturday, I believe Jaxon is close.”
“How do you know?”
What she revealed made his blood run cold. Her words left no doubt in his mind Laurel’s spirit was sensitive.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Fear echoed in the words.
“I already told you what we should do.”
“I will not marry you, and I certainly will not live in sin with you.”
The indignation in her voice made him chuckle.
“Are you laughing?”
He managed to swallow the mirth and forced a measure of solemnity to his voice. “Only at your tone of voice, honey. Since you refuse to be sensible and marry me and you’re determined not to run this time, what do you suggest?”
Her heavy sigh spoke volumes. “For starters, Laurel will not walk to or from school again. Nor will she be alone for even a second when not at school.”
“Good. I don’t like the idea of you at my place alone, either. Maybe we should talk to Mr. Flaven about putting off the landscaping until this is resolved.”
“I’m not afraid for myself. Its Laurel he wants. Besides I always have a shovel or something handy.”
“That’s good, stay focused and alert. Keep your eyes and ears open. Always, Lorelei.” He waited a b
eat to make sure his words had time to sink in then continued. “I think we should talk to the principal, and school counselor, and maybe the Sheriff.”
“Do you really think all that is necessary?”
“If you intend to settle down here and not ever run again, I do. Those in authority should know what’s going on. That way, if Jaxon were to show up, they wouldn’t let him see her. And if something happens, to him or one of us, the law would already be aware of the situation and be able to respond accordingly.”
“I guess you’re right. Can you set it up?”
“Sure.”
“OK, I hear Laurel moving about so let me get in there and check on her. Depending on how she feels, we’ll see you at school in a little while, or at your house. I’m not forcing her to go to school if she’s not up to it.”
“Understood.”
They rang off. Carson poured another cup of coffee and pulled his Bible out of the drawer where it had rested, virtually untouched for five years. Setting the heavy leather volume on the table he bowed his head. “OK Lord, I surrender. You’ve given me this gift for a reason and I’m trying to come to grips with that despite the pain it’s caused in my life. Give me discernment and wisdom that I not fail again.”
He rifled through the pages then let the Bible open to where it may. His eyes fell upon Samuel 2:3: “Talk no more so very proudly; Let no arrogance come from your mouth, for the LORD is the God of knowledge; And by Him actions are weighed.”
Other scriptures on pride reverberated through his mind. The error of his ways became achingly clear. Though he sought to serve the Lord with his abilities, he realized now that, in the past, he’d often approached the people involved with an air of arrogance, thereby hindering the effect of the knowledge he’d received. Insight and direction wove through the passages of scripture as did revelation. Conviction whispered, guilt crushed, repentance cleansed.
Never again, Lord, he vowed. From this moment on I’ll let You lead with Your heart through me.
A vision rose in his mind—a German Shepherd, an animal born of strength and beauty. A dog bred to be docile yet fiercely loyal and well able to protect. A picture of Jesus carrying a lamb across his shoulders flashed in his mind, confirming the vision. He dressed for work and headed to the kennel in a neighboring town. The owner met him on the porch moments after he arrived.
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