“I’m not sure why you’ve decided to start with me again,” Ken said quietly, “but I’ve come here to ask you to stop.”
Macdonald continued to sit in silence.
Ken looked at the oxygen tank hooked up to MacDonald’s wheelchair and briefly imagined what would happen if he disconnected it. Maybe the old man would suffocate right in front of him, and the world would be rid of a horrible person. But Ken knew that was not his call to make and there was no point staying there one second longer. He stood up and walked quickly away.
After he was sure that Ken was gone, Macdonald smiled.
50.
Years ago after Alex and Diana started dating, one of their favourite things to do when it was sunny and warm was to hop on a ferry boat at the Jack Layton Ferry Terminal for the ten-minute ride to Toronto Island.
On Saturday morning after Toronto’s big series win against Ottawa, they boarded the ferry and made their way to the island. Diana had a day off from the hospital and the players didn’t have to report to the rink again until Sunday. They had been averaging a game every second night for weeks now and despite the thrill, the pace was wearing on them. More players were nursing minor, nagging injuries. Alex iced his knees every night now and tried to ignore the pain.
Like much of what was happening lately, Alex felt like the ferry ride was almost magical. He put his arms around Diana and held her for the short ride across to the island. The breeze felt heavenly, and it was the first very warm day of spring. Alex closed his eyes and did not want the ride to end. He sensed Diana felt the same way as she leaned her head back against his chest and fit there perfectly as always.
After getting off the ferry, Alex made a beeline for Centreville, an amusement area for kids, to order a soft serve ice cream. When they first started going there together years ago, Alex had informed Diana that Centreville had the best soft serve ice cream in the city.
Diana was so happy to see Alex running over like a little boy to get ice cream that she didn’t say anything about him eating a cold dessert at eleven in the morning. After Alex grabbed a cone, they walked across a bridge to the main part of the island and then over to an elevated dock beside the beach. They sat on a bench together and stared out at the bright blue water.
At the end of their last visit with Dr. Williams, the doctor suggested they might benefit from imagining what Diana would say to her sister Tamara and what Alex would say to his father if they each had a chance to talk to them one more time.
Diana had told Alex she wanted to try this, and he agreed. The truth was, he would agree to jump in the cold lake if that was what Diana wanted. He would not lose her again.
“You first,” Alex smiled.
“I knew you’d say that,” she smiled back. “You still have to go after me.”
Alex nodded.
Diana felt her eyes well up with tears before she even opened her mouth. She laughed at herself and used her hand to wipe her face. Alex kissed one of her salty tears.
“I would say…that I didn’t want her to go out that night,” Diana said.
“Okay.”
“I would tell her that I loved her.”
At that moment, a boy who must have been four or five years old ran up and started to climb the wooden rail that prevented people from falling into the water. Alex noticed him and looked around for a parent.
“I would want to know why she was always so difficult,” Diana continued, “why she could not try to get along with our mother, and why she wouldn’t ever listen.”
The boy put a foot up on the rail and pulled himself up. Alex kept an increasingly concerned eye on him. There was a man sitting on a nearby bench with headphones on and his back turned. No one else was around.
“I would ask why she ever thought it was okay to do drugs,” Diana pressed on angrily, “and start hanging out with losers like that guy who just wanted to take advantage of her.”
She was oblivious to the young boy climbing the rail, but Alex was nearly in a panic now as he watched the boy getting closer to the top while still trying to listen to Diana.
“I shouldn’t do this,” Diana said. “I shouldn’t be angry at her.”
Alex startled her by jumping up from the bench and grabbing the little boy as he tried to swing a leg over the top of the rail. Alex yanked the boy down and put him on his feet.
“Hey buddy, are your parents around?” Alex asked in a friendly voice.
The boy pointed at the man sitting nearby with the headphones.
Alex went to the man and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and looked at Alex curiously, but didn’t remove his headphones. Alex slapped them off his head.
“Hey! What the hell!” the man yelled as he stood up.
Alex pointed at the boy. “That your son?”
“Yeah!” the man barked.
“He climbed that rail and was about to fall into the water.”
“What?” The boy’s father looked shocked.
Alex grabbed the man by his lapel and Diana came running over.
“Alex, stop,” she said. “You’re scaring his son.”
Alex shoved the man in the direction of the boy. The man grabbed his son by the hand and walked away quickly without saying anything further.
“Alex, you can’t freak out at every father you see just because you hated yours,” Diana said.
Alex crossed his arms and looked at her.
“Look, it’s okay for you to be angry with your sister,” he said. “Doesn’t mean you didn’t love her, or that what happened was any less tragic.”
Diana looked fragile, and Alex held her.
“Maybe you don’t just have to forgive yourself,” Alex suggested quietly as she cried into his shoulder. “Maybe you have to forgive her, too.”
51.
When Isaac learned that Melanie was pregnant, it frightened him more than he could have imagined. At first, he convinced himself that he wanted nothing to do with a baby. Melanie was a strong, hard-working and sensible person. She would be a good mother. Isaac just wanted to be a rock star. It would be better for everyone involved, especially the baby, if he were not around.
Melanie didn’t object to Isaac’s lack of interest in her pregnancy. She seemed to realize that most musicians made bad parents and accepted a future as a single mother.
“You don’t have to do anything,” Melanie told Isaac after delivering the news. “I don’t expect anything.”
Initially, Isaac was relieved that she had given him an easy way out, but as days turned into weeks, he found himself wondering how she was doing and started calling to check on her. Eventually, he began going with her to medical appointments and then to prenatal classes. Finally, after realizing she had no one else except for her chain-smoking mother, Isaac offered to be in the delivery room during Melanie’s labour and she agreed.
Isaac became smitten with Melanie in the process. She was beautiful and smart and determined not to let life overwhelm her. Isaac decided that his days of trying to get drunk women to take their tops off were over. This was the life he wanted.
When Sophia was born, Isaac felt euphoric when he held her for the first time. He kissed her tiny head and was in love. The next day he and Melanie left the hospital with their daughter.
Isaac immediately started calling their baby Sofe-Sofe and everything was going well for a while. Melanie’s friends showered them with gifts and her grumpy mother was around to help. Melanie lived with her mother in a modest bungalow. It was the home that Melanie, an only child, grew up in. Her father had passed away a few years earlier from an illness.
Isaac soon moved in.
After the gifts and generosity stopped, Isaac was shocked at the financial stress of having a child. He had grown accustomed to a life of little responsibility since taking off from his own dysfunctional home right after leaving university without completing his degree. Isaac had never looked for a regular job and was content to just play guitar. He was talented and had little trouble gett
ing gigs in local pubs and cover bands at that time. There wasn’t much money to be made, but he could always get some bar food and a free beer or two.
None of that was enough anymore, and Melanie’s mother drove the point home.
“Can’t you get a job?” she literally shouted after the gifts ran out, with cigarette smoke blowing out her nostrils.
For the first time ever, Isaac looked for work. With no idea where or how to start, he walked into random stores and asked if they were hiring. All the places he visited expected resumes and cover letters. Isaac had never needed a resume to play guitar, but now the local grocery store wanted one just to let him stock their shelves.
A clothing company finally offered him a job in a warehouse. The wages were not great, but it was better than nothing. Besides, Melanie planned to get back to work as soon as possible. She had a lead on a job as a waitress in a high-end restaurant. It was the kind of place that movie stars frequented when they came to Toronto and the tips would be good.
Isaac’s frustrations around money continued. Melanie was good at finding ways to buy things they needed without spending much, but it bothered Isaac when he took little Sofe-Sofe to the park and saw so many other babies wearing expensive clothes and being pushed around in fancy strollers.
It was around this time that Isaac witnessed one of his co-workers at the warehouse stealing a handful of men’s shirts from the shipping area. When Isaac asked him about it, the guy told him that he was supposed to arrange the shipments coming off the truck for delivery to an outlet store. However, thanks to the non-existent security and sloppy inventory systems, some clothes never made it through the transfer. Instead, they were “delivered” to the trunk of his car. There was a second employee who acted as a lookout. The clothes were all expensive and the side profits were significant.
Did Isaac want in? The addition of a third person could help them expand their operation.
Initially, Isaac refused – but he reconsidered when his co-worker explained the cash rewards. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. There was no violence involved, and his new friend had a point: these companies made more than enough money, with huge markups on products that were all made in third-world countries.
All of Isaac’s doubts disappeared when actual cash was put in his hands.
This went on for months and became too easy, so it was time to kick it up a notch. Isaac and his small criminal enterprise decided it wouldn’t be difficult to steal an entire truck full of merchandise. Their shady contact on the street promised them a handsome dividend if they could pull that off. And they did pull it off…once and then twice. Eventually, they let their guard down and the consequences were severe.
On one fateful night, Isaac opened the back of a truck and his eyes were flooded with lights from police, who had been tipped off.
Isaac and his two accomplices were promptly arrested. Melanie came running to the police station and had no choice but to bring Sophia with her as her own mother was away. She was certain there had been a mistake. There was no way that Isaac could be guilty of what the police were claiming. She started yelling at the officers as soon as she arrived.
When Melanie saw the expression on Isaac’s face, though, she knew it was true. On the public bus ride home, he grovelled his way through an apology in front of other passengers and promised he would never do anything like that again. After closing herself off in their bedroom for an hour, Melanie came back out and reluctantly agreed to give him a second chance.
A few weeks later, Isaac was caught shoplifting baby clothes in a mall. He was now facing two charges for theft, and when he shoplifted for a third time just two days later, Melanie furiously ordered him out of the house. She would not allow Sophia to grow up with a thief for a father.
She never, ever wanted to see him again.
Heartbroken at first, Isaac left quietly. He should have known that becoming a family man, a father, was not in the cards for him. He adored Sofe-Sofe and had deep feelings for Melanie, but he also knew it would be best for everyone if he just vanished.
Isaac promised Melanie that he would leave them alone and never come back.
It was surreal for Isaac to be sitting now in Melanie’s living room and watching her fall apart over something so eerily similar to his past mistakes.
“I would never steal,” Melanie said in a hurt tone.
After the series win against Ottawa, she had invited Isaac over and they arranged for a Saturday night dinner. Seeing an opportunity to make things right that seemed impossible a few short weeks ago, Isaac cleaned up again and borrowed twenty dollars from Alex to buy some flowers and a small dessert. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing now.
“They can’t just accuse you,” he said.
“They didn’t,” she replied. “At least not exactly.”
Melanie took a deep breath and spent the next several minutes explaining what transpired when she walked into the restaurant earlier in the day.
After her usual cheery greeting to the hostess, Melanie was promptly pulled aside by her duty manager and asked to wait upstairs in an empty office. She sat there by herself for over an hour without anyone saying a word to her.
Finally, the duty manager walked in with the restaurant’s general manager. The two men, both middle-aged white men in their fifties, sat on one side of the conference table with Melanie by herself on the other side. Without saying a word, they pushed a typed letter across the table to her.
Melanie skimmed the contents of the letter and came across a line in bold that stated her position with the restaurant had been terminated “effective immediately.” She fought off the urge to hyperventilate.
“Termination…for what? Why??”
The two men looked at each other and the general manager scoffed.
“Come on,” the GM said. “Are you really going to do this?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about it,” Melanie insisted to both managers. “Please tell me what’s going on.”
The duty manager’s approach was gentler. His eyes suggested he possibly had some sympathy for Melanie.
“Look, Melanie, at best there’s a problem with your receipts –”
“Yeah, or something worse,” the GM growled. “Either way, it’s unacceptable. Clean out your locker, hand in your ID and uniform and get out.”
Melanie was so stunned, all she could think to say was: “You made us pay for our uniforms.”
“Fine. Keep the uniform, but be out of here in half an hour,” the general manager barked as he got up and left the office.
The duty manager got up slowly to follow.
“I’m sorry, Melanie,” he said. “You were one of our best servers…I need your staff ID card.”
Melanie dug into one of her pockets and tossed the ID on the table. She looked at her duty manager.
“This isn’t right,” she said before walking out.
“They think I stole, Isaac,” Melanie said. “They obviously think I skimmed money. They only fire people if they steal or show up drunk or high.”
“Well, they can’t just do that,” Isaac said. “You can’t just fire people like that.”
“How would you know?” Melanie asked testily. “You got fired from the only job you ever had, and you deserved it.”
Melanie’s mother poked her head in from the hall. She was trying to put Sophia to sleep.
“Can you two please be quieter?” she hissed and gave Isaac a dirty look.
“I’m sorry,” Melanie said to him.
“It’s okay,” Isaac replied. “I did deserve it, but you don’t. You have to fight it.”
“I can’t fight it. There’s no union. I’m low on the food chain.”
“What about like a labour court, or something?”
“Going to a labour board would take a year and a half,” Melanie responded. “And they know that.”
Isaac shook his head. “It’s not right. I’m gonna go down there.”
�
��Really?” Melanie asked. “What are you gonna do? Go there and and take a bat to his legs?”
Isaac leaned back in the chair unsure of what to say next. He would actually not mind going down there with a baseball bat to break both managers’ legs. Melanie could come too and hold both of them while Isaac went to town on their kneecaps.
She began to cry. “What am I going to do? I need that money.”
Isaac was unaccustomed to comforting others, but he decided to try. He walked over to Melanie and rubbed her shoulder.
“Come on,” he said. “You can get another job.”
“Yeah, and what I am going to say when I’m asked why I left my most recent job?” Melanie shot back. “Or when they ask for a reference?”
Isaac took off his sunglasses and bent down to hug Melanie. He was not sure if she would allow him to do so, but she did.
“It’s going to be okay,” Isaac said. “I’ll figure something out.”
Melanie pushed him back and gave him a look.
“Not that,” he said.
52.
Shortly after leaving the island and docking at the ferry terminal, Alex and Diana were back at the apartment and in the bedroom making up for lost time. After they both caught their breath and their heart rates returned to normal, she reminded him that it was his turn to talk about his father.
“You serious, Dee? That’s a big comedown after what we just did,” Alex complained.
“Oh, really?” Diana asked as she tugged at his chest hair.
“Ow! Okay,” Alex said.
He thought quietly for several moments.
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Start anywhere.”
“My father never understood that his life was a lot better than he thought,” Alex sighed. “We didn’t pressure him for money. My mother never asked for fancy clothes, or expensive vacations, or anything.”
“What would you say to him?”
“I’d ask him why he couldn’t see that,” Alex answered. “Why he couldn’t see that the risks he was taking, the shortcuts to make money – it was all dangerous and would jeopardize everything. He never realized that. His ego was too big.”
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