by Huss, JA
“I don’t owe you an explanation.”
“I think you do, bru. Because this was…” He doesn’t finish.
I smile. “Fuckin’ sucks, doesn’t it? Realizing you were betrayed and you didn’t even know it. That the betrayal happened behind your back. Kind of a gut-clenching wake up call, right, bru?” I mimic his stupid accent. Badly. Never could get those vowels to sound authentic.
He stares at me. He looks good, I guess. Still lean. Same golden skin. Same piercing amber eyes. Still wearing those nice suits. Still… him.
If he came from South Africa I’m impressed. Jet lag always had me looking like shit when I landed in a new time zone.
“Enough,” he says. “How?”
He’s still referring to the diamond. I shrug. And smile. Because it’s hard to con a con man. And we did it.
“We stole it back,” I say. Evenly. No emotion. No touch of pride in my words, even though I feel it.
“When?”
I laugh. “You never noticed? Not like you to overlook something like a missing fucking diamond.”
“How?” It comes out genuinely perplexed. “How did you—?”
“Never mind the diamond. What the fuck did you do to Christine?”
“Me?” It’s his turn to laugh. “Bru, I was in a fokken firefight when I got news of Christine’s tumble. Almost ten thousand miles away. It wasn’t me.”
“Bullshit,” I sneer. “You had her on a job, didn’t you? You told her to kill David. You’ve been using her.”
“Using her?” He laughs. “And who the fok is David?”
I nod. Back to the silent language. That nod says, OK. That’s how you’re gonna play this? Fine.
“You know what? I don’t even wanna know what you’re up to. Not even a little bit. All I care about is Christine.”
“That makes two of us, man.”
I lose a little bit of my calm exterior. Point my finger at his face. “You never cared about her. All you ever cared about was what she’d do for you. You dragged us in, used us up, and then you—”
He slaps my finger away and points back. “You’re the one who walked out.”
“You were fucking her,” I snarl.
“She was fucking me!”
I don’t picture how it ended. Never. I always go back to the day it started. To the gym. His bloody knuckles. To the night outside in the alley. To the gunshot. To the moment when I fucked everything up by letting this asshole in.
“But,” he says, some of the excitement in his voice dissipated, “to be fair, she wanted to fuck us both. And you were never good at sharing.” His eyes wander to my bare chest. They linger there too long. “It’s not too late, ya know.”
“Fuck you.”
“I wish you would. Just fokken get over it, Danny. Accept that this is our future. And you can run—hell, you did run—but looks like we’re right back where we left off if you ask me.”
“I’m not asking you. I’m not here to ask you anything. I’m here to tell you something. Give you one last shot to move along and never look back.” It feels generous. Because I already told Brasil I’d deliver Alec to him. I already made a deal to sell him out. And I should just shut up, let that shit play through.
But whatever. The warning is already out.
“You expect me to leave?” Alec says. “Now? When we’re in the middle of all this shit?” He pans his arms wide, like it’s us against the world.
That’s how he did it back then too. Us against the world.
It’s something Christine and I had together. We were us against the world. And then Alec shouldered his way into our lives and joined our team without even asking. Disrupted all the plans we had. Ruined all the futures we imagined.
She wouldn’t be killing people for money if this asshole hadn’t given her that gun that night in the alley.
But, that annoying, truth-telling, reality-checking voice in my head says. But you’d still be this Danny, Danny. You’d still be working for Brasil. You’d still be right where you are now. Alec never poked the pretty out of you. You were never special to begin with.
Fair enough.
But not the point.
“We don’t need your help.”
“I disagree,” he says. It comes out solemn. A little bit sad, maybe.
“What the fuck is happening?”
Alec and I both turn our heads to look up to the top of the stairs. Christine is standing there wearing only a too-large t-shirt. She steps lightly down the metal stairs just the way I did, trembling in the frigid air.
How long was she standing up there? What did she hear?
She trains her eyes on me. Then Alec. Then back to me.
I worry about her cold, bare feet. I worry about her shivering in the frigid morning air. I want her back upstairs. I want her back in bed. I want her anywhere but here with us.
Because I can deny it all I want. Won’t make it true.
There is an us.
There has been since that morning I met Alec at the gym. Since that same night when I introduced him to Christine.
You can’t undo the past.
We are the triangle etched on the top of that metal box.
There will always be an us.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - CHRISTINE
“Morning, bru. Good to see you, man.”
I hear him speak. Even lost in the depths of dreams there’s no way I can’t. His voice is like music I’ve been programmed to respond to. A code that unlocks something deep and dark. A fix for that part of me that is irrevocably broken.
“Shhhhhh…”
But the arms that held me all night don’t belong to him. They belong to Danny. And Danny evokes all the same emotions, only on the gut level as well as the heart.
There’s some kind of string that connects us. Some bond that attracts us.
But the voice. Alec’s voice. Just a few simple words—they’re enough to rouse me out of the fantasy life I’m living in my dreams. A life of parties, and planes, and money.
A life I was too young to really appreciate.
Or make the most of, if I’m being honest.
The bed moves, things get lighter.
I don’t want the dream to end.
It’s only then that I realize it’s not a dream. It’s my reality. And there are good parts, sure. But there’s a lot more wrong with the life I’ve tried to forget than there is right.
That’s a choice though.
I can see things one way or another.
I can choose. I can remember the good, or the bad, or both. And seriously. Who in their right mind chooses bad over good? Or both, for that matter.
There’s a heavy click of a door closing from the other room and a wave of panic swells in my chest.
They’re gonna leave me here. They’re gonna walk out of my life in the same moment I realize they walked back in.
And that. Cannot. Happen.
I force my eyes open, swing my legs out of the bed, and wave aside the rush of cold air that chills my entire body. Out in the living room I try not to panic, even though I’m well on my way. My heart is fluttering wildly, my breath coming in short gasps.
But just before I pull the front door open… I hear them. I hear them talking down in the garage.
I glance over my shoulder at the couch. The silver box with the triangle on top is gone. One of these two men has it. Probably Alec since he wasn’t in on that little heist.
I lean my head against the cold, gray metal of the door and smile. That night we stole the seven-carat diamond back from where Alec had stashed it… that was how it began for me.
I loved Danny for years before that job, but after that job I was in love with him. Because after that night I knew. He’d do anything for me. Anything.
And I don’t care that I was only a kid. I don’t care that he was more like a big brother to me than a guy. I don’t care if it’s weird, or sick, or whatever.
The only thing I care about are the feelings.
&n
bsp; How he made me feel. How he took care of me. How he busted me out of the foster system like a superhero saving the day.
When we stole that diamond back that was it for us.
Me and him. Just the two of us. That’s it. There was no Alec yet. He was there but he didn’t matter. It would take months, maybe even years, for Alec to really be part of us.
But once he was… God, was he ever.
I sigh into the cold metal door, only half listening to the argument going on down the stairs. Only half listening to the one going on inside my head, too.
They’re not arguing about the diamond anymore. No one gives a shit about that diamond. We can’t sell it. Not easily. It’s got a serial number. And it’s heavy. And…
And there are people who would notice this seven-carat diamond.
But we didn’t know that when we stole it back. We didn’t care, either. We had no idea that the opportunity to steal diamonds that could be sold would present itself over, and over, and over again.
We thought, This is it. Our chance to change our lives. A little guarantee that we’d never go hungry again. We’d never be homeless again. And we took it.
Not because we’re thieves, just because we could. And who wouldn’t? If they were in our shoes? Who wouldn’t seize the day and turn their shitty lives into the stuff of dreams?
I turn the handle on the door. Slowly ease it open a crack.
“You were fucking her,” Danny snarls.
“She was fucking me!” Alec almost snorts. “But to be fair, she wanted to fuck us both. And you were never good at sharing.” A pause. “It’s not too late, ya know.”
No, it’s not. That’s why I’m here.
I need them. Both of them. These past few years without Danny and Alec together have been a whole other level of hell. So much worse than the years that came before Danny anointed himself my knight.
But the situation is precarious. It’s teetering on the edge. We are on the verge of losing everything. All of it.
No. That’s not how this is gonna go down.
“What the fuck is happening?” I ask, stepping through the door and out onto the landing. The soles of my feet are tingling from the cold and my body is starting to tremble. But the frigid air inside the garage makes me shake like a kid trying to crack a safe with a gun to her head.
That happened, I realize. And in the same moment I also realize I remember.
I remember everything.
I remember the bond between us like it’s still there.
And it is. We just need to find it again.
“Go back inside, Christine. I’ll be up in a second.”
I stare at Danny as the moments tick off, then slowly shake my head.
“Christine,” he barks. “Do what I say.”
“She doesn’t take orders, bru. Not from you or anyone else.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Danny growls. “She’s in this situation because of you.”
“I’m in this situation,” I say, forcing my voice to be loud and strong even though I feel so very soft and weak right now, “because of you, Danny Fortnight.”
Alec huffs out a laugh. “See? She knows. So why don’t you just calm down, shut your fokken mouth for once, and listen to what I’m trying to say.”
Danny’s glare is filled with rage.
But he doesn’t scare me. The world is filled with unintended consequences. So many ways for things to go wrong. And I may not be sure of many things, but even in this leftover state of amnesia-induced denial I know one thing for certain.
He would never hurt me.
“I’ll go inside,” I say, meeting Danny’s ragey stare, “if the two of you come inside with me.”
“No, he was just leaving.”
“Not so much, bru.” And just like that, Alec is climbing the stairs. Coming toward me with outstretched arms. “Are you all right?” he asks, folding me into his embrace. “You gave me quite a scare, my luv.”
I sigh, let myself accept the heat he’s wrapping around me, and stare at Danny. “I will be. Now that I’m back here with you two.”
Danny folds his arms across his chest. Defiant.
But Alec is already pushing me through the open apartment door. “Don’t worry. He’ll follow. It’s his fokken apartment, isn’t it?”
My eyes are still locked with Danny’s when I disappear inside.
Alec kicks the door closed, pushes me up against the wall, places both hands on my cheeks, and kisses me on the mouth.
Fuck.
I sink into him.
Absolutely sink.
The door slams open, hitting the wall so hard I know there’s a hole in the sheetrock. “Get your fuckin’ hands off her,” Danny says, pulling me away.
I spin into him. Bounce against the hard muscles of his chest. And an instant later his arms are wrapped around me, replacing the heat of Alec with the heat of him.
Sinking is something I could get used to. Because I do it again.
“Now you’re getting the idea,” Alec says.
“Oh, I’ve got ideas,” Danny says. “I’ve lots of ideas. And all of them involve me cracking that pretty face of yours into pieces.”
“Promises,” Alec huffs, taking a step forward.
“Back the fuck up, van den Berg. Now.”
“Sorry, bru. But she doesn’t belong to you.” He pauses, his eyes focused on Danny. And without dropping that challenging stare he says, “Tell him, Christine. Tell him why we’re here.”
Shit. Why are we here? Did I miss something? Are there still gaps in my memory?
“She’s here because you’re selfish,” Danny answers for me. “She’s here because once again, you got her wrapped up in some illegal bullshit.”
“Why don’t you ask her what she wants for once? Eh? I mean, I get it.” He takes another step closer. I’m in the middle now. Alec in front and Danny behind me. I can feel the heat of both men and they are on fire. “You had her first. Your claim is older. But you let her get away, Danny. You let her walk out and face the cold, hard world alone. And I never did. That should count for something.” He places his hand back on my cheek. Lets his gaze fall to me—“Right, luv?”—then rise back up to Danny.
Danny holds me tighter, the zippers of his leather jacket cold and biting against my back where my t-shirt has ridden up. God. Yes. “It counts,” I say, betraying Danny in the same moment I pledge allegiance to Alec.
And then I turn to face Danny.
He wants to be angry. He wants to glare at Alec. Probably kick his ass. But that turn changes everything. Because he forgets about Alec and only sees me.
I slowly rise up on my tiptoes. My hands slip underneath his jacket and slide along the cut muscles of his waist. He closes his eyes for half a moment, sighing inside as we fall into each other. My lips gently caressing as my tongue probes against his hard mouth.
He gives in.
Maybe it’s because he has to choose. This is a defining moment and he’s up against a hard decision. That might be why he kisses me back. That might be why his fingers thread into my hair. That might be why he presses his hips against mine. Why he lets himself get hard.
But I don’t think so. And I don’t care, either.
His surrender is the only thing that matters.
Alec must feel the same way. And he’s never one to miss an opportunity to get what he wants, I suddenly remember with stark clarity. His hips press against my back, pinning me between them. His hand brushes my hair aside, his mouth tenderly kissing my neck. Chills run up my spine and shoot out of my mouth and into Danny’s.
Danny kisses me harder. His hands gripping my hair tight. Our open mouths and twisting tongues the only thing that matters.
Until… until Alec’s hands slip inside my too-big t-shirt, slide up to find my breasts, and squeeze.
And this. This is all I’ve ever wanted from them.
To be their middle.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - DANNY
What am I doing?
> I want to push them both away—especially Alec. But her kiss. It’s our first real kiss. The first one I give in to. The first one where I know I won’t back away. There’s just no way I can stop myself.
I’ve always wanted her. She has always thought my rejection was personal. That I didn’t want her like this. That I didn’t dream of taking her whole body.
But I did. Not when she was a kid. Not then. But as she got older, as our relationship with Alec matured into a well-organized trio of pirates, we became more than just friends, but something less than lovers.
That’s why it fell apart. Lovers was always the next step. Or betrayal.
Those were the only options left.
And as much as I hate to admit it—Alec was right.
She has always wanted both of us.
It was me who forced the second option when the whole thing fell apart.
I thought I could stop the inevitable by pushing her away. Keeping it professional. Keeping my distance.
But it was never enough. Her level of determination to get what she wants has always been a lesson in fortitude. She was a master at remaking her shitty reality and turning it into something new. Something pretty. Something… blue.
The headstrong ten-year-old became the daring teenager, became what she is today.
A top-tier sneak assassin, safe-cracking, diamond thief.
Telling Christine, “No,” is the same thing as telling her, “Yes, but not yet.”
She was always going to win. And if she had to walk away and give me space to reconsider what we are to each other, she’d do it.
And it wouldn’t surprise me at all right now if she looked me dead in the eye and said, “I fucked everything up on purpose. To get us all back together again. To make you choose one final time. Us. Or nothing.”
She’s just that determined.
And she’s patient too. So patient. It was the very first thing I noticed about her when we started working as a team before Alec showed up. She could wait. She could always see the long game. I never had to explain it to her.
It was the first thing I loved about her. That she could wait for the prize and put up with the agony of denial if it meant she won in the end.