By Flame

by T Thorn Coyle

  “I think so. I liked it and the people seemed grateful.”

  Aiden nodded. “Most of the people here, they’re always grateful. I’m grateful to come here every day.”

  “But you shouldn’t have come today.”

  “No, I shouldn’t. Stingray’s so mad at me.” He stared at Tobias for a moment, blue eyes looking feverish. “I’m not sure why I came by. I just needed a touchstone. I needed to remember…”

  His voice wandered off, and he gazed at a corner of the room. Tobias wondered what he was seeing.

  “You need to remember why you do this?” Tobias asked.

  “Yeah. Can I tell you something weird?”

  Tobias sat down and pulled a chair closer till their knees were almost touching.

  “Tell me what?”

  “She appeared to me again when I was kneeling in the rain.”

  “Who?”

  “St. Brigid.”

  Oh boy. She was everywhere. If Tobias ever had any question that the Goddess had a plan, that question was gone now.

  She clearly did.

  “Let’s get you out of here,” he said.

  20

  Aiden

  Tobias took Aiden home with him.

  They clattered up the front steps to yet another Portland Craftsman. Aiden tried to keep from shivering, standing on the broad porch as Tobias got out his keys and got the heavy front door open.

  “Hey Reece, Freddie, this is Aiden. Aiden, my housemates.” Tobias’s voice sounded clipped and annoyed. Aiden wondered what was up.

  Reece and Freddie—Aiden realized he had no idea which was which—were a man and a woman sitting on a green couch, hanging out in the book-lined living room, drinking beer and playing some sort of geeky card game on the coffee table. They seemed nice enough, but Aiden barely even registered they were there. Luckily, Tobias steered him upstairs to his room right away.

  Once they got settled in, Aiden realized he really wasn’t coping very well. This was all too new. Too raw.

  Tobias’s bedroom was a magical place. It smelled like him. Like frankincense, myrrh, with undertones of burning wood, and the sweetness of a man. There were prints of plants and flowers on the green walls, and there was the high, wooden bed. Aiden felt his face flush with the memory of it. He almost wished he wasn’t so messed up and exhausted.

  But he also hoped Tobias didn’t push him. Not tonight. Not when everything felt like too much. His body was doing better after whatever St. Brigid had done, but it still felt pretty battered. And emotionally? He wasn’t ready for sex again. Not just yet.

  Tobias helped Aiden off with his clothes, so gently. Almost lovingly. Once he was undressed down to boxer shorts and a T-shirt, Tobias handed him a pair of gray sweatpants, pulled back the forest green comforter, revealing burgundy striped sheets, and tucked him into that high bed.

  “I’m going to run your clothes down to the dryer, okay? Be right back.”

  Aiden lay on that high bed, feeling warm and snug for the first time all day. He closed his eyes, and relaxed against the pillow. Images of the saint flickered behind his eyelids. She felt like an ally. A protector. And she had healed him, which felt like a miracle he didn’t deserve.

  When Tobias came back, he shut the door behind him and then undressed. Aiden watched as he unveiled his white limbs, shucking off jeans and layers of sweater and a flannel shirt, until there he stood in boxer briefs and a T-shirt. Aiden couldn’t take his eyes off of him. His fingers clutching the edges of the comforter as though it was a life raft and he was at sea. Tobias pulled on a pair of navy sweats, padded to the bed, and smiled down at Aiden before crawling in and propping himself up, leaning against the headboard on a couple of pillows.

  Without a word, he held out his arms. Aiden crawled up, and Tobias tucked him into the crook between his shoulder and his chest. Aiden could feel his soft breath ruffling the edges of his hair.

  Finally the rage, the confusion, and the humming vibration that had been with Aiden for days uncoiled itself.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Tobias asked.

  Aiden lay there for a moment, just breathing. Just enjoying the scent of Tobias and the feel of his arm around his shoulder. Enjoying the feeling of his thigh tucked over Tobias’s legs. Aiden rested his right hand, palm down, on Tobias’s chest. The T-shirt was soft, as though it had been washed a hundred times.

  “I’m not even sure how to talk about it. All I know is…I was kneeling, praying, and the rain and the hail were beating down on me. I could tell my body was reacting to that, but inside I felt like I was on fire. And then Brigid was just there. Like, I actually saw her.”

  Tobias scooted a little further down in the bed, still facing up. Aiden adjusted his body to match, sinking more deeply under the comforter the blankets, the soft sheets.

  “What did she look like?” Tobias asked. His voice was soft, soft like the candlelight in the room, soft and warm like the scent of beeswax. “Did she say anything?”

  The saint was so clear in Aidan’s mind, that vision of her and her green mantle, standing in the pouring ice and rain. He didn’t think he would ever forget that sight. But he also had no idea how to explain it. Because he didn’t understand it himself.

  Aidan took a breath and tried again. “She had this green cloak on. It fell from her shoulders to the sidewalk. In my head, for some reason I called it a mantle. I don’t know why. She had fire in one hand, and that woven cross in the other. She put her mantle around me. She wrapped me in the cloak.”

  Aiden could feel Tobias take a huge breath. He released it with a mighty sigh. “Do you know how lucky you are? I don’t know anyone else who’s had a vision like that, just out on the street with a Goddess walking toward them. Did it feel like that mantle was real?”

  “It was real. I saw it puddling around me on the sidewalk and I could feel it, too. And then I closed my eyes for a minute. When I opened them again, it was gone.”

  Aiden leaned back and looked up into Tobias’s brown eyes. “I feel calm. Like everything’s going to be all right. Like she’s with me now, but…”

  Tobias ran a hand down Aidan’s cheek and cupped his chin from before dropping his hand. “But what?”

  “But I’m also scared. I mean, who has visions like that?”

  Tobias gave a little laugh. “Apparently gay Catholics who are crazy enough to pray on the sidewalk in a hailstorm.”

  Aiden had to smile. He leaned in and kissed Tobias, and settled his head back on the man’s shoulder. “All I’ve been doing is talking about myself,” Aiden said. “What’s been happening with you?”

  Tobias squeezed Aiden’s shoulder. Aiden nestled himself closer.

  “Nothing as exciting as you. I spent my morning talking to a pine tree.” He laughed again; Aiden felt the rumble of it in his chest. “And then Brigid told me to get my ass back to work. She does that sometimes. And I made a bunch of formulas from some tinctures I had on hand, called up the soup kitchen, and here we are.”

  “Can I ask a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “What’s magic?”

  Aidan felt Tobias scooch up again and pull away a little bit. He felt a flush of panic for a moment, as though he done something wrong.

  “I’m sorry, is that not okay to ask?”

  “Of course you can ask. I just was thinking I could use a cup of tea or a glass of wine if we’re going to have this kind of conversation. You feeling better?”

  Aiden realized he did feel better. He felt safe here. Cared for. So he nodded. “Yeah, I am, and you know what? I think I would like a glass of wine.”

  Tobias kissed his forehead, slid out of the bed, and said, “I’ll be right back. And I want to tell you a story about magic, and Brigid’s mantle. It’s pretty cool and I think you’ll like it.”

  Aiden eased back onto the pillows, looked up at the pale blue ceiling of Tobias’s room. The muscles of his stomach and his shoulders felt relaxed for the first time in days. He never had
this before, never had a person he could lie in bed with and talk about important things.

  “God, I’m not sure why you brought me a witch, but I guess I’m supposed to learn something from this. And whatever your reasons are, I want to thank you.”

  His eyes had rested on the bedroom altar with its candles, the long double-sided blade, the polished stick of wood. And a statue of Brigid, with a woven cross leaning against it.

  “And thank you, Brigid. I’m still not sure where this is leading, but I’m willing to find out.”

  The flame inside his chest flickered.

  Aiden had a feeling the journey was going to be interesting, at least.

  21

  Tobias

  The light coming in the window was shadowy and blue. It must be just before dawn.

  Eyes closed, Tobias lay in bed, curled on his side, letting his brain slowly turn over, waking up a little more with every breath of the cold morning air. He felt it then, entering his awareness. It was a sense that something had changed. Not a cataclysmic shift. Nothing like what Aiden had described going through. But he felt different. More alive.

  Letting his breathing deepen, he opened his awareness outward. And it was a whole new world out there. He felt plants talking outside his bedroom window, as leaves reached for the rain. He heard the pots of herbs in the kitchen. He could smell the trees, even through the double layers of glass.

  And his skin felt alive, as though the experience of resting in soft cotton was brand new. His skin was so sensitive, he felt his nipples harden under his T-shirt. His fingertips softly stroked the sheet covering the bed.

  The coffee brewing down the stairs smelled amazing.

  His brain kicked in, and marveled at the talking plants, and the deep sense he had of them. He usually only connected that clearly after a long meditation. Never had he awakened like this and felt and heard life going on around him like this. I should make a grief formula for Sara’s family, he thought.

  Tobias heard Aiden’s soft breathing behind him. Still asleep. They had ended up spooned against each other last night, starting with Tobias on the outside, but clearly, they had rolled over at some point and reversed positions. That felt amazing, too. And as if Aiden being here was another piece in whatever this awakening was. That they’d both had a shitty day, and been drawn to that bar. That Brigid had a hand on both of their lives. That they both clearly needed healing. Different kinds of healing, and Tobias was only now admitting he needed that, but yeah, healing just the same.

  The plants were everything to Tobias. Plants and coven. And now, if he dared hope for it, even the beginnings of love.

  For the first time in a long while, Tobias remembered what a gift the plants were. The coven had studied the Norse runes a few years back, and the one letter that always stuck out for him was the gift rune, gebo. It looked like a big X. “The joining of two disparate forces,” Raquel had said. “A joyful obligation.”

  Working with the herbs was a joyful partnership. Tobias had just gotten so wrapped up in his own emotional states that he’d forgotten.

  But the plants and herbs never forgot. They were always there, ready to teach him, ready to offer their medicine, always ready to continue the cycles of death and life and rebirth.

  He stretched, and felt Aiden’s warmth curled up against him. Another gift. Goddess, Tobias felt lucky right then. Aiden responded to his movement, snuggling closer, and placed a soft kiss on his T-shirt, right on top of his shoulder blade.

  Tobias loved spooning, but right now, he wanted to hold Aiden more tightly.

  He rolled over, and wrapped his arms and legs around Aiden’s body, and kissed his forehead.

  “This is the best thing in the world,” he said.

  “Mmmm. Good morning,” Aiden murmured.

  “How do you feel?”

  Aiden exhaled with a soft, little sound, then rubbed a hand across his eyes.

  “Pretty good. Still a little bruised, and emotionally exhausted, but I swear, that visitation from Brigid—even though it still freaks me out—helped me. I’m better. A lot better.”

  “I’m glad. Do you have to get to work?” Tobias placed kisses around Aiden’s eyes, down his cheekbones, and at the edges of his mouth.

  Aiden groaned. “I do. I’m probably already late. Got to stop making a habit of that.”

  “I’m a bad influence,” Tobias said. “But I don’t want you to leave. Not yet.”

  “Five more minutes,” Aiden agreed, shifting his face sideways, until their lips met, so warm in the frigid morning air. The kisses were gorgeous. Tobias didn’t want them to stop.

  Finally, Aiden paused for a breath.

  “Hey, Tobias?”

  “Mmm?”

  “I like being friends with you so far.”

  Tobias could feel the smile behind the words. It made him feel…glad. And as though anything might be possible. As though the plants and the trees and the air and Aiden’s lips were all part of a new life. A good life.

  Fuck his parents. He’d figure out a way to make this work. He had to. And today? It seemed as though the universe agreed.

  Tobias felt inside his bones that he would get the support he needed.

  “I like being friends with you, too. But the plants are actually calling me today, which means it’s a good day to get to work. And if I want you to keep spending the night here, I guess I’ve got to let you get to work, too. Besides, I don’t want Stingray mad at me.”

  He flung back the layers of bedding, and the icy air hit his exposed skin. Aiden gasped.

  “The only way out is through,” Tobias said.

  “I know, but does it have to be this cold? Doesn’t your household believe in turning on the heat?”

  Tobias shrugged slightly, scrambling out of sweatpants and into long underwear and jeans. A flannel shirt and a black sweater went over the T-shirt. Sorry as he was that they hadn’t had sex in the night, he was also happy to not feel the need for a shower. He’d take one that night. Right now? He wanted to keep as much of his body covered as he could.

  “We’re pretty frugal and keep the thermostat set low at night. I can go bump it up in a minute, though if all we’re doing is getting ready to leave, it seems silly.”

  He could see Aiden, moving a little more slowly than he was, looking around for his clothes. He looked a lot better today, which was good. Brigid really had done something to help, Tobias didn’t doubt it now. There was no way Aiden should be moving this well after the battering he’d taken.

  “Oh, shit!” Tobias said. “I put your clothes in the dryer last night! They were wet. Let me run and grab them. Get back in the bed!”

  Tobias ran down the stairs and to the little porch just off the kitchen. He loaded the dry clothes into his arms, and raced back to his room.

  Aiden was wrapped in the comforter, staring at the altar. Transfixed. His face looked as though he’d been talking with Gods or angels. It stopped Tobias dead. It felt as though he were in the presence of someone holy. Someone so beautiful, Tobias wasn’t even sure how they could be real. He. Aiden. How Aiden could be real.

  But he was. And he was in Tobias’s bedroom, wrapped up in blankets from his bed.

  Tobias cleared his throat. “I have your clothes.” He shut the door. Aiden reached his arms out, and it took everything Tobias had to not walk straight into those outstretched arms. He handed Aiden the small pile of clothing instead.

  “Thanks.”

  As Aiden got dressed, Tobias laced his boots on, and found a scarf and jacket.

  “I saw you looking at the altar. Do you want to pray with me before we leave?” he asked, once Aiden was dressed.

  Aiden turned those blue eyes on his, and nodded. “Yes. If that’s okay with you.”

  Tobias began his simple morning ritual. He counted his breaths out loud, so Aiden could follow. Inhaling for four. Pausing for four. Exhaling for four. Pausing for four. They breathed until Tobias felt centered, which, given his state this morning, didn
’t take long.

  Tobias struck a match, which hissed and sparked. The scent of sulfur scratched at his nose. The taper on the altar flared to life.

  The men stood next to one another in silence for a moment, saying their own private prayers.

  After five minutes, Tobias took a deep breath, and spoke out loud.

  “Holy Brigid, we thank you for your presence in our lives. We ask for your blessing. We offer our service. If there is any information you feel we need to complete the tasks you have set us, or help to walk the road of our destinies, please speak it to us in sign, symbol, or word.”

  The air around the altar shimmered. The candle flame shot up four inches and began to waiver. The edges of his sight grew strange, as though someone were bending the light in the room, and the air felt thick. He was partially terrified, partially excited.

  Aiden grabbed his hand.

  Tobias squeezed Aiden’s fingers back and didn’t let go. He stared at the candle, then heard a strange, half-strangled noise come from Aiden’s throat.

  He turned, and saw Aiden’s face change. It was flushed with heat, and his eyes fluttered behind closed lids, those long dark lashes touching his cheeks. His mouth grew slack, as though every muscle in his face had relaxed. As though he were somewhere else.

  Tobias just waited next to him, holding his hand, sensing the energy, knowing something was happening, but not knowing exactly what.

  He’d seen this state sometimes, with Brenda or Tempest or Raquel. Sometimes even Alejandro. When a deity was about to speak through him, his face looked that way, too.

  But he never seen it outside of his coven. He was beginning to think Aiden was a true mystic.

  Tobias finally broke the silence with a whisper. “What is she telling you?”

  Aiden’s mouth opened and shut a few times as though it were trying to form words but couldn’t quite. Then he licked his lips, just a flicker of red tongue out and back again.

  “She’s telling us to prepare. Battle is coming. Battle is here.”