by Shannyn Leah
Wasn’t that what Riley was trying to tell her last night? Or not to be one?
Abby couldn’t help but wonder if he really had only followed her around out of respect for Gran and Mrs. Calvert. The sad part was she would never know the truth. Riley was a man of few words and after last night she wasn’t sure if he would even talk to her again.
Abby rubbed her sister’s arm. “I know,” she told her. “And you weren’t selfish.” Who was Abby to expect Kate to stick around this small town and miss out on a real career? “I love you too.”
Abby hugged Kate giving her an apology. She owed all her sisters an apology for her behavior.
“Gran always said you were my guardian angel,” she whispered to Kate. “You were an awesome second mom.”
“Abby?” Kate asked, pulling away. “You sure do smell like an alcoholic,” she teased.
Abby hit her and smiled.
Peyton and Sydney stood up and rushed over for a group hug that nearly toppled them all over the chair.
“Are you making me pancakes?” Abby asked when she was finally released. That had been her favorite breakfast as a child.
“Don’t kid yourself, I gave up my mommy years. Here’s a croissant,” she tossed a bag from Mrs. Calvert’s at her.
Abby opened the bag and was digging inside when she said. “Her baking is better than yours anyway.”
All her sisters laughed. Abby joined them, sharing winks and jokes, but she couldn’t help but still feel like the outcast of her siblings. The one who didn’t connect. She was beginning to think maybe that was her own fault. When Kate left, maybe she’d been the one to pull away from all of them. Her confession today was only part of who she was and what bothered her. Did they really even know her? They knew she was wild, but did they know she loved watching old eighties movies or that when the gossip about her family had trailed back to her ears it hurt...deep. They were the children of the town drunk and no matter how many years passed, the stories remained, tucked deep down where she let no one see.
Abby ate a warm apple strudel that only made her think of Riley. She owed him an apology or two as well. For a girl who made it a point to never back down, she was doing an awful lot of bowing down today.
Chapter Six
THE FUNERAL HOME was crammed full for Grace’s memorial service. People spilled into the hallways to listen to the service that was prepared for such a loved and wonderful woman. Grace touched the lives of many townspeople. It was incredible to witness.
Riley felt bad sitting in the second row, and he had offered to give his seat up for someone in the hall. He’d only known Grace for a couple years and they weren’t close. But Mrs. C touched his leg to keep him in his spot.
He stayed. For Mrs. C...and for the woman sitting directly in front of him behaving as tame as her straightened long blonde locks of hair.
He would never admit that deep down, for the first time since his walked away from his life two years ago, he felt something other than regret and guilt. There was something about Abby that wanted him to say friends. For him to want meant he was letting life back into his soul and he needed to get control over those thoughts. He didn’t deserve anything more than the life he lived right now. A life alone and without others.
It was safer for Abby and everyone else this way. The term friends entailed more responsibility that he’d proven two years ago that he wasn’t equipped to handle.
However, it didn’t stop Riley from noticing Abby and watching her from a distance to make certain she was alright. Last night had been rough and he wasn’t sure what her attitude would be this morning. Abby surprised him by being quiet, polite and calm. Three qualities she didn’t usually posses.
Riley drove Mrs. C to the cemetery, while Abby climbed in a limo with her sisters. When he thought he wouldn’t have the strength to stand beside the casket for the burial, deep down he found it. Again for Mrs. C, but fully aware that two women seized his mind.
The whole morning went by quickly and they were back at the funeral home having a brunch. He found it strange that people wanted to eat after burying a loved one. Still, he munched on the plate Mrs. C had fetched him while her the pleasant conversational made it way about the guests.
Riley stood off to the side. Alone. No one bothered him.
He noticed that he had acquired a new group of observers. The McAdams sisters took multiple turns sending him curious, suspicious and warning looks.
What did he do? Why were they checking him out like he was a criminal? A criminal was something he was not, but a friend wasn’t accurate either. Had Abby mentioned their trip out of Willow Valley or their argument last night?
Riley would have skipped this sociable formality if he hadn’t driven Mrs. C. He didn’t want people paying any more attention to him then a server behind the bakery counter.
Abby stepped directly in front of him in an army stance, like she preparing to scold him. Her black dress brought out her delicate frame. A soft contrast from her bold mouth and regular dark clothes she typically wore.
“Hi,” she said, in a shy tone that told him that she remembered their quarrel the previous night. Although her voice was timid, her eyes locked on him, unmoving. She didn’t bow down from his dark gaze like the rest of the town who kept their distance from him. Abby didn’t stray...she never had.
“I’m sorry about last night,” she said. “It doesn’t matter if you’re befriending me or just watching over me for Gran and Mrs. C.”
It’s you. What? No. No!
Abby continued, unaware of the battle in his head. “Yesterday morning, whether you wanted to be one or not,” she paused and let out a deep breath. Her chest fell and her shoulders dropped with the sadness of her loss before she continued. “You were a really good friend,” she said slowly. “Last night too.”
Abby’s tongue trailed across her pink lips before her teeth clenched her bottom lip. “I guess you know more about me then I thought you did. Whether you overheard Mrs. Calvert and Gran talking or Mrs. Calvert told you, you know the deeper part of my life that only they knew. I talked to my sisters this morning and I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going to get lost in that bottle like my dad. I’ve worried that I would follow in his footsteps, but I like to think that I am stronger than that.”
You are.
Riley hardly heard her, still reflecting on the fact that past the respect and duty to the older ladies, he had watched Abby because he...cared.
Cared? Where the hell did that come from?
Riley was in no position to care. He hadn’t cared about anyone other than his sister and himself his whole life, so why the hell was he starting now?
He was a mess. He might not show it on the outside, but he was damaged and two years after the accident he still didn’t know how to put it all back together...or if he even wanted to. He didn’t deserve to live and since he hadn’t died in that car, he didn’t deserve to live a happy life.
Riley had nothing to offer Abby. Not now. Not ever. Letting her think it was Mrs. C or Grace was the right way to play this out.
You are strong.
He simply said, “Good.”
Abby sent him a puzzled look. “Good?”
He shrugged. What else did she want him to say?
“That’s it?”
That kiss last night awoke something else inside of me I can’t put my finger on and I’m battling the life I deserve and the life I want and it’s all because of you. No, he wasn’t going to tell her that.
He nodded. “That’s it.”
“You were quite the chatterbox last night.”
“You were drunk and now you’re exaggerating.”
Her smile appeared for the first time all day. A half smile that pulled some out of the embarrassment she seldom wore. “Not my classiest moment,” she admitted in a whisper.
There was no one within hearing range of them and he noted, with a quick glance, no one was paying attention either...except the McAdams sisters.
“I agree,” he said.
A wider smile stole her lips for a quick second like she loved that he was insulting her. Abby was an odd one. She probably did like the insult.
Then her lips dropped into a frown that gently reminded him he had a heart. That he cared.
Riley inhaled through his nostrils so deeply they stung. He held the breath until the thoughts decapitate and he was left empty. Empty with guilt. That was where he liked his heart to sit.
“It hurts you know? I don’t remember much of when my mom died. The rest of my sisters do, but this time around, this is hard. Really hard. Are we okay?” she asked him.
He had no answer for her, or the meaning behind those words. So he answered with a question. One that made her smile reappear. “Were we ever okay?”
“Thanks for coming, Riley.” She perched up on tiptoes, kissed his cheek and then whispered, “I don’t regret everything from last night.” The memory of her hungry mouth on his was daunting.
“Friend,” she added. With that, like a puff of smoke, she was gone and he was alone. And that was exactly how he intended on keeping it.
Chapter Seven
A FEW DAYS later, well after midnight, Riley stood in the kitchen of his small apartment famished like he hadn’t eaten anything all day.
Nothing in his fridge looked appetizing and he didn’t feel like cooking at this hour. He did the next best thing and ordered take-out from The Cliff House then headed over to pick it up.
Riley drove through the jam-packed parking lot and decided to park his motorcycle in a small area by the front door. It wasn’t a parking spot, but at this hour no one would notice.
He thought the parking was ridiculous until he stepped inside the mad zoo. A band took the stage located on the far side of the rustic wood and stone bar and grill. Their music was the background noise to this crowd.
Riley squeezed his way through drinking groups and to the bar. He nodded at one of the waitresses that recognized him and she disappeared into the back to fetch his order.
Riley ignored the small disappointment that Abby wasn’t working tonight.
Was that why you ordered food from here?
It wasn’t. The Cliff House had the best homemade fries and burgers around and right now he wanted a nice thick, juicy burger.
Riley sat on one of the only stools available and spun out toward the crowd.
Are you looking for Abby?
He hadn’t seen her in days, which he took as a good sign of her condition.
How are you going to keep away from her if you search her out?
Annoyed, he turned back to the bar and grabbed a handful of peanuts, tossing one at a time into his mouth.
The band finished playing and an announcement came over the speakers giving a fifteen minute warning for closing time. Fifteen minutes?
How was it two in the morning already?
“Hey Riley.” Jake Stow, owner of The Cliff House paused in front of him. He was tall and built thick like Riley with much of the same quietness in him. Even though he owned the bar, he wasn’t overly friendly. Riley was a regular and since Mrs. C was close with the McAdams sisters, that, in turn, made her close to Jake. Both Sydney and Abby worked at The Cliff House, and Sydney’s daughter, Haylee was Jake’s niece.
“Is one of the girls looking after you?” Jake asked and Riley hated that when he was referring to his staff, Riley right away envisioned Abby.
This has to end.
Riley nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”
Jake glanced around with his solemn face, taking in the chaos. Under these circumstances, he should look frazzled, but instead he was calm and collected.
Then Jake cursed.
Riley followed his gaze through the crowd and it landed on Abby. She was here and his breath caught in his chest, until he realized she was drunk...again.
Not your problem. She can drink and get drunk if she so chooses. It’s Friday night and she’s just out having a good time.
“Go clear those guys out of here,” Jake barked to one of his bouncers. “And make sure Abby and Izzy don’t go anywhere or with anyone.”
Ah hell. If Jake was concerned then there must be a problem. Or Jake was preventing a problem, used to Abby’s behavior.
“Will do boss.”
Riley paid for his food. The bar was clearing out, making it easier to watch security ask the group of men who Jake had been referring to, leave, while he subtly sandwiched himself between Abby and the group.
Not your problem.
It seemed to be working until Sydney showed up. She marched across the bar looking like she just dragged herself out of bed and was pissed off as all hell.
There was a short confrontation between Sydney and Abby, which didn’t look pretty. Then Abby saw the crowd she’d been hanging out with leaving and made a scene that attracted the group of guy’s attention back to her.
Where was Izzy? It doesn’t matter.
Riley found her near the stage talking to the band.
Sydney positioned herself between Abby and the men. One of the men thought it was an invite and grabbed Sydney’s arm.
“Hell no,” Jake muttered from behind Riley. In a flash Jake was crossing the bar and ripping the guy away from Sydney. It escalated quickly and Riley wanted to mind his own business but there were a lot of drunk and angry guys with Abby being the center of attraction.
Walk away.
He abandoned his food and stepped right into the crossfire. Abby was drunk. Obviously Jake had phoned Sydney and that was Riley’s indication that this crowd was not one Abby should be going home with. Riley was on Jake and Sydney’s side.
He grabbed Abby under her bare arm. Beginning of November and this lady was wearing nothing but a strapless sequin dress hiked way above her knees.
Abby yanked away and objected until she saw who was on the end of the hand.
“Riley...” It came out slurred with a wispy pleasure.
“Let’s go,” he said.
“With you?” She sounded thrilled by the idea.
He wasn’t sleeping with her. Was the only thing on this woman’s mind drinking and sex? She was the spitting image of him back home.
Riley heard a groan right after a punch landed on someone. When he turned he saw that someone had been Jake. Sydney was right at his side, trying to check his face while laughter erupted from the men Abby had befriended.
In an instant, the security went into no-nonsense mode and dragged every last one of the guys out of the bar.
Blood was pouring down Jake’s face.
Sydney was hysterical.
When Jake’s eyes found Riley, he said, “I will take her home.” Referring to Abby.
Jake nodded.
Sydney objected, her head whipping back and forth between Jake and Riley. When Jake walked away, she followed, but not without a warning to take Abby straight home to Kate.
Riley kept a tight grip on Abby’s arm until they got outside. He handed her a spare helmet and snapped his own on.
Abby held it in her hands and stared at him. “Are you mad?”
Did she just see the chaos she caused?
“Abby get on the bike,” he barked.
“I’m drinking for pleasure,” she said, as if that made everything that had happened okay.
Riley ripped his helmet off. “You think this is drinking for pleasure? Did you see what just happened in there?” She stared at him dumbfounded. “Jake took a punch for you. Your sister is freaking out over his bloody face. And the staff is having to deal with a bunch of assholes because you wanted to bang some random asshole.” Riley couldn’t believe all of that came out of his mouth. That was the most he’d spoken in one sentence in years. Plus who was he to judge who she decided to sleep with. He was sure the notches on both of their belts were rather comparable in quantity.
Abby swallowed hard and he watched her face tighten, but her eyes glazed over and guilt possessed him.
Dammit.
“You�
�re the asshole, Riley.” She threw the helmet at him, with surprisingly good aim. He caught it as she turned on her heels and took off down the empty parking lot.
Dammit. Why didn’t I just cook at home?
Riley started his motorcycle and drove up beside Abby.
“Abby, get on the bike. I will drive you home.”
She ignored him, but he could see tears streaming down her face.
Tears? Abby? Dammit.
He stopped the bike, cut the engine and climbed off. He caught up with Abby on foot.
“Abby, please, I’m sorry I raised my voice at you.”
She held her hand up in the air to stop him from talking, but she didn’t slow her surprisingly fast pace for a drunk girl on heels.
“Don’t apologize. Just go home.”
“Let me give you a ride.”
“Let me save you the trouble.”
“It’s not trouble...”
Abby spun around. “I am drunk!” she yelled at him.
He could see that.
“I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to say something that I am going to regret in the morning. You are confusing as hell, do you know that? I don’t want to be your friend, but get on my bike. I don’t want to have sex with you, but damn I can’t keep my eyes off you. Con-fus-ing! See...” She threw her hands in the air and just as she claimed, his eyes fell to the rise and fall of her breasts. “I am going to regret all of that in the morning.” Her hands fell to her side as did her fight and she said, “Just let me walk home. I’ve done it before and I will do it again.”
If only it was that easy. “I can’t.”
Her eyes flared open and she groaned loudly. “Fine. Fine. Drive me home,” she yelled, turning around toward his bike while mumbling a string of unladylike sayings. “I don’t even get to enjoy the ride because I am just so pissed off at you right now.”
Riley drove her home.
Of course it didn’t end there. No, that would be too easy.
Abby walked to Grace’s car and with keys that he hadn’t seen her get, she tried to unlock the driver’s door.