Serena smiled, but she wasn’t convinced—especially since Christmas Eve was less than twenty-four hours away.
“Say you’ll come,” Eva urged. “It will be a lot more fun than hanging out with Marvin, Molly and Matt.”
“Max,” she corrected automatically. “And our holiday snuggles are something of a tradition.”
“But I bet you’d rather snuggle with Bailey,” his sister-in-law teased.
Serena couldn’t deny it.
And Eva, confident that she’d made another sale, said, “Dinner will be on the table at six.”
* * *
Two days before Christmas, Bailey wrapped the last of his gifts—this one for Serena.
It wasn’t anything fancy or expensive, just a simple eight-by-ten enlargement of a photo of the animals that he’d snapped with his cell phone one day when he was at her apartment. In the picture, Marvin was sprawled out on his belly—his back end on his pillow, his shoulders and head on the floor; Max was stretched out beside him but facing the opposite direction; and Molly was curled up with her face right beside Max’s and one paw on his back. The candid shot attested to the camaraderie and affection between the animals, and he was confident Serena would love it.
He had yet to decide how and when he was going to give it to her. Because holding hands and stealing kisses in public was one thing, while sharing a major holiday took a relationship to the next level, and he wasn’t sure they were ready to go there—or that they ever would be.
He always had a great time with Serena, and he thought of her often when they were apart, but that didn’t mean he was ready to commit to a capital-R relationship. And spending Christmas together definitely implied Relationship, which was why he’d decided to fly solo over the holidays.
And why he was taken aback when Luke’s wife told him what she’d done.
Chapter Thirteen
“You did what?” Bailey said, certain he must have misunderstood or misinterpreted Eva’s words.
“I invited Serena to come over on Christmas Eve,” she repeated.
“Why?” he demanded to know.
She frowned, obviously not having anticipated his less-than-enthusiastic response to her announcement. “Because she came in to Daisy’s and when I asked about her plans for the holidays, she admitted that—aside from hanging out at home with her pets—she didn’t have any.”
“She loves hanging out at home with her pets,” he informed his sister-in-law. “It’s kind of her thing.”
“And because I thought you’d want her to be here,” Eva added.
“You should have asked me before you asked her,” he grumbled.
Her expression shifted from bafflement to concern. “Do you not want her here?”
“I just don’t want her to think an invitation to spend Christmas Eve with my family means anything more than that.”
“Serena doesn’t strike me as the type of woman who would assume a casual invitation from her boyfriend’s sister-in-law is a green light to start planning the seating chart for your wedding,” she said dryly.
“I’m not her boyfriend,” he said through gritted teeth.
“So what are you?” she challenged. “Just a guy who’s bouncing on her bed for as long as it suits his purposes?”
That was all he’d wanted, but to hear his brother’s wife put it in such blunt terms sounded harsh. And untrue.
“Why does everyone want to put a label on our relationship?” Because as much as he hadn’t wanted a relationship, he couldn’t deny that he was in one.
He cared about Serena. He enjoyed being with her. And yes, he enjoyed sex with her. But even he couldn’t deny that their relationship was about more than sex. He liked talking to her, he appreciated the comfortable silences they shared, he even liked hanging out with her pets. Although Marvin was undeniably his favorite, he had no issues with Max and felt reasonably confident that he’d reached a détente with Molly.
But he wasn’t ready for another Relationship. Or maybe he didn’t trust himself not to mess up with Serena the way he’d messed up his marriage.
“Do you want me to uninvite her?” Eva asked him now.
“Is there any possible way to do that without an incredible amount of awkwardness?” he wondered aloud.
“Probably not,” she admitted. “But I’d rather have an awkward conversation with Serena today than have her feel uncomfortable or unwelcome tomorrow.”
“Don’t bother,” he said. “It’s fine.”
But Serena was right. Saying “it’s fine” didn’t make it so, and Bailey decided to go for a drive to clear his head.
Although he had no destination in mind when he set out, he wasn’t really surprised when he found his truck slowing down as he approached the cemetery.
His heart was pounding hard against his ribs and his palms were clammy as he shifted into Park and turned off the ignition. He hadn’t been here since that awful day his parents were put in the ground, and he was immediately swamped by a wave of memories and emotions. He pushed open the door and stepped out into the cold.
Someone had put an evergreen wreath decorated with holly berries and pinecones on an easel in the ground beside the headstone. Bella, he guessed. It was the type of thing she would think to do. He knew that she visited the cemetery regularly, and throughout the summer tended to the flowers she planted in the spring.
He took a couple steps forward and dropped to his knees in the snow, his watery gaze unable to focus on the names and dates etched in the stone. It didn’t matter—the details were forever etched in his mind. The regrets forever heavy in his heart.
“I’ve screwed everything up,” Bailey said, somehow managing to force the words through his closed-up throat. “Starting with that night in the bar, thirteen years ago.” He shook his head. “I was so careless, so thoughtless. So stupid.”
That long ago night, he’d ignored Danny’s urgings to leave because there were pretty girls to dance with and beer to drink. And yeah, he’d actually thought it was funny that his little brother was such an uptight mother hen.
I’ve already got one mother. I don’t need another one, he’d chided his brother.
Danny’s expression had darkened, but Luke had laughed—sharing the joke, the good times.
Then the sheriff’s deputy had walked into the bar, and the laughter had stopped.
“It was my fault,” Bailey confessed to his parents as he stared at the headstone. “But they don’t blame me. I don’t know how or why, but Bella, Jamie, Dana...even Luke and Danny...don’t blame me for what happened that night. But I know the truth. It was my fault. Serena thinks I’m still punishing myself. That I won’t let myself be happy because I don’t believe I deserve to be happy.
“She might be right,” he acknowledged. “I never told Emily about that night, because I was afraid she’d look at me differently. At least, that was the justification I gave to myself. But maybe I wasn’t ready to let go of any of my guilt and grief enough to share it.”
It was a possibility he hadn’t considered until right now. A truth that suddenly seemed unassailable.
“But somehow, I found myself telling Serena everything. Maybe because she’s had to overcome devastating losses of her own. And yet, despite that, she is one of the most optimistic people I’ve ever met. Determined to find happiness in every day—and adding joy to mine whenever I’m with her.
“I really wish you could have met her—and that she’d had the chance to know you. She really is amazing. Beautiful and smart. Sexy and sweet.” His smile was wry. “And undoubtedly too good for me.”
Of course, there was no response to his monologue. But when Bailey finally rose to his feet again, his heart felt lighter. And for the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful about his future and willing to not just appreciate but embrace the joy that Serena brought to his life.
/> * * *
For a dozen years, Bailey hadn’t thought he had any reason to celebrate the holidays. Last year, his first back in Rust Creek Falls after twelve away, he’d felt awkward and uncomfortable, like an imposter in his sister’s home. Not that Bella had done or said anything to make him feel less than welcome. Just the opposite, in fact. She’d gone out of her way for him, even ensuring there were presents with his name on them under the tree Christmas morning.
But this year, being with his siblings again, along with their significant others and kids, he truly felt as if he was where he belonged. Even Dana had made the trip from Oregon—with the blessing of her adoptive parents—to spend the holiday with her brothers and sister.
Of course, the entire family wasn’t there, but those who gathered together found pleasure in their renewed and strengthened childhood bonds and remembered those who weren’t with them at Sunshine Farm. They all hoped that Liza would also be brought back into the fold someday, but for now, Bailey focused on being grateful for what he had—including the beautiful woman by his side.
“So tell me how you and Bailey met,” Dana said to Serena.
“Well, I actually met him several months ago at the vet clinic where I work with Annie,” she said. “But I didn’t really get to know him until Dan went down with the flu. Bailey had to fill in for him playing Santa, and I did the same for Annie as Mrs. Claus, so she could take care of her sick husband.”
“I guess it’s lucky for both of you that Dan got the flu,” Dana remarked.
Janie, only hearing the last part of her aunt’s remark as she came into the living room from the kitchen, stopped in the entrance and looked worriedly toward the sofa, where her parents were seated. “Dad’s got the flu?”
“Not now,” her mother hastened to assure her. “He’s fully recuperated now.”
Janie looked puzzled. “When was he sick?” she wondered aloud.
“When Uncle Bailey had to fill in as Santa at the community center,” Annie said.
“And your school,” Dan chimed in.
“Oh, right.” Janie chuckled, remembering. “Your fake flu.”
Bailey frowned. “Fake flu?”
“Yeah,” his niece confirmed, apparently oblivious to the can of worms she was opening. “Mom and Dad thought that forcing you to play Santa would help put you in the holiday spirit.”
A heavy silence followed Janie’s revelation, until Fallon spoke up. “Did you hear that?” she asked, though no one had heard anything. “I think the kids are starting to wake up. Janie, can you help me with them?”
“Sure,” the tween agreed, always happy to lend a hand with her toddler cousins.
“I’ll help, too,” the triplets’ father said. “Three sets of hands are always best with three kids,” Jamie explained.
Bailey waited until they’d gone before he turned to Dan. “You faked being sick?”
“I did have a bit of a cold,” Dan said defensively.
“You told me you were throwing up,” Bailey reminded him. Then he turned to his brother’s wife. “And you acted so concerned—going to Daisy’s to get him soup. You even had Serena fill in for you because you couldn’t risk leaving your oh-so-sick husband alone.” He shook his head. “And now I find out it was all just part of the act.”
“Or was it a romantic setup from the beginning?” Eva mused aloud. Head over heels in love with her husband, she wished for a happy ending for everyone.
The color that filled Annie’s cheeks answered the question before she spoke. “I might have asked Serena to take my place because I hoped she and Bailey would hit it off.”
“And she was right,” Dana pointed out, obviously trying to ease the tensions between her siblings.
* * *
Serena could tell that Bailey wasn’t in a mood to be appeased. Not that she could blame him for being angry and upset by the machinations of his brother and sister-in-law. She was none too happy herself—and more than a little embarrassed—to have been so completely caught up in the plot.
“Did you have any part in this?” he asked her now.
She immediately shook her head. “Of course not,” she denied, shocked that Bailey could believe such a thing.
And maybe he didn’t, but he was apparently too mad to think rationally right now.
He turned to his brother again. “You always think you know what’s best for everyone else, don’t you? Consequences be damned.” Bailey didn’t raise his voice, and his words were almost more lethal because of their quiet fury. “I would have thought you’d learned your lesson about sticking your nose into other people’s business thirteen years ago.”
When Dan’s face drained of all color, Serena realized the brothers were arguing about something more than a feigned illness.
“That’s enough,” Luke said to his brothers.
But Dan refused to heed the warning. “Maybe I was, in a small way, trying to make up for mistakes I made in the past,” he acknowledged. “Maybe I was trying to help you find the happiness you don’t think you deserve.”
“Contrary to what you think, I can manage my own life,” Bailey said. “I don’t need anyone’s interference.”
He turned on Eva now, as if having finally let his emotions loose, he couldn’t stop. “And I certainly don’t need anyone to set me up with a date on Christmas Eve. If I’d wanted a date, I would have got one myself—but I didn’t.”
The implication of his pointed words was unmistakable, and Serena flinched from the verbal blow. If she’d ever had any illusions that she belonged here, with Bailey, the vehemence of his response ripped that veil away.
Another, even heavier, silence fell around the room.
“Well,” Serena said, clearing her throat to speak around the lump that was sitting there. “I think it’s time for me to be on my way.”
“But...we haven’t eaten yet,” Dana pointed out.
“And I’ve got animals at home that need to be fed,” Serena said.
No one said anything else then. No one else tried to stop her. Certainly not Bailey.
She didn’t look in his direction as she made her way out of the room. And she didn’t hurry, keeping her chin up and her gaze focused ahead of her as she made her escape, so that no one would guess her heart was breaking into a million jagged little pieces.
She found her boots easily enough, but there were so many coats piled onto the hooks by the door, it took her a minute to uncover hers. Of course, her efforts were further thwarted by the tears that blurred her vision.
She’d been a fool to think that they were growing closer, maybe even building a relationship. She’d had reservations about accepting Eva’s invitation to spend Christmas Eve with the Stocktons at Sunshine Farm, but Bailey’s sister-in-law had assured her that he would want her there.
The silence in the living room had been broken. Voices were raised now, talking over one another so that she couldn’t make out what anyone was saying—and she was grateful for it. Finally, she found her coat, shoved her arms into the sleeves, stuffed her feet into her boots and yanked open the door.
She blinked in surprise as she got a face full of snowflakes. An hour earlier, as she’d driven toward Sunshine Farm, she’d been enchanted by the pretty flakes dancing harmlessly in the sky. The wind had obviously picked up since then and the snow was falling heavily now—no longer appearing pretty or harmless.
Swiping at a tear that spilled onto her cheek, she inhaled a slow, deep breath. The icy air sliced like a sharply honed blade through her lungs, but that pain didn’t compare to the ache in her heart.
She unlocked her SUV and climbed in. Shoving her key into the ignition, she cranked up the defroster and turned on the wipers. The snow that had accumulated on the windshield was swept away by the blades, and she shifted into Reverse, carefully backing around the other vehicles parked in the long drive. Car
s and trucks that belonged to Bailey’s brothers and sisters. Proof that he was surrounded by family. Proof that he didn’t need her.
He’d referred to his family, with equal parts exasperation and affection, as nosy and interfering. And what Dan and Annie had done proved his description was apt. But Serena had no doubt that his brother and sister-in-law had acted with the best of intentions, wanting him to find the same kind of happiness they’d found together.
Still, Serena could understand why he was angry, if not the intensity of his anger. Or maybe she could. The day he’d told her about his long overdue conversation with his ex-wife, he’d also told her how much he’d hated feeling as if he didn’t have any control over his life after his parents were killed. So maybe it was understandable that he’d be furious about the setup, because regardless of Dan and Annie’s motivations, they’d taken control of the situation away from Bailey.
She believed the feelings they had for one another were real, but she could see why the manipulation of the situation might lead Bailey to question the legitimacy of his emotions. And that was something he needed to figure out on his own—if he even wanted to. Obviously the Stockton siblings had some other issues to work through, but she had no doubt that they would do so, because no matter their differences, they were a family who cared deeply about one another.
She thought of her own family—of herself, her mother and her grandmother. Three generations of women who had been through so much—and nearly let their trials tear them apart. But even the deepest wounds eventually healed, and for the first time in a lot of years, Serena felt optimistic about her mother’s recovery and the relationship they were gradually beginning to rebuild.
Amanda was with Mark today. He understood that Christmas was a particularly difficult time for her and was happy to give her whatever support she needed to make it through the holidays without falling apart—or falling back into old habits.
Bring Me A Maverick For Christmas! (Montana Mavericks: The Lonelyhearts Ranch Book 6) Page 16