Since this is probably going to be my only chance for a while to write, and also because our next appearance tomorrow isn’t until 1:00, I’m going to try to catch up on all that’s happened since we got here.
Thursday: We were up most of the night packing after getting back from Green River. Knowing we were leaving for a month or six weeks instead of a few days put Mom in a real panic. But Dad finally said we could buy things as we needed them and for each of us to take only one large suitcase and a travel bag. We had an extra suitcase that we gave to Rick. Who, BTW, is still pretty much in a daze.
Late that morning, we drove to the airport north of Moab, where we met Clay and a couple of his agents. Shayla Blake was also there. They came to see us off, but also to make sure we weren’t hassled by any media—which we weren’t. The private jet was already there waiting.
Cody thought the jet was way awesome. I told him to settle down. After all, if you’ve seen one private jet, you’ve seen them all. LOL. Rick, who’s only flown on an airplane once before, got pretty excited about it—though you have to know him pretty well to tell when he’s excited.
We arrived in NYC about 7:30 Eastern Time. Our hotel is the Marriott Marquis, right on Times Square. How cool is that? Even the name is French. But this is seriously wicked. I can look out our window and see the big ball they lower on New Year’s Eve here in the Square. Anyway, it was about nearly 11:00 by then, so even though that’s only 9:00 Utah time, we were all exhausted and totally crashed.
Friday: All day sightseeing. Amazing day. We started with a visit to The National September 11 Memorial on Manhattan Island. That was deeply moving, especially since we celebrated the tenth anniversary of the attack on the twin towers of the World Trade Center just nine days ago. It was a powerful reminder of what Mom has said many times. Us kids are facing some pretty challenging times and we’d better be prepared.
Next we took a ferry out to the Statue of Liberty. I expected to be wowed by the statue (whose real name is “Liberty Enlightening the World”), but it was even more amazing than I expected. It was totally awesome. Cody, Rick, and I decided to climb the steps to the top. I guess you need tickets to do that, which are sold out months in advance, but good old Clay had enough for all of us. Mom went with us. Dad and Grandpère said they thought the view was better from the bottom. Right! All I can say is, “Wow!” It was a beautiful clear day and we could see the skyline of Manhattan just like you see it in the movies.
We then went to Ellis Island, where millions of immigrants from Europe were processed before they could enter the country. Grandpère told us about the day he and his parents sailed into New York Harbor in early 1947. He was only ten or eleven but could remember every detail. He said his mother had tears running down her cheeks and his father couldn’t speak as the statue came into view. Having the statue be France’s gift to America made it all the more special to them. We found Grandpère’s name in the Ellis Island registry, and those of my great-grandmother and great-grandfather. When I read the actual name, Monique LaRoche, my great-grandmother, I started to cry.
Saturday: We split up this morning. Mom and Grandpère went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, while Dad, Cody, Rick, and I went to the Museum of Natural History. Talk about wow! It’s the largest natural history museum in the world. We could have spent a week there, so we almost had to jog through it, taking pictures. Rick, always Mr. Cool-and-No-Emotion, actually got quite excited. Sometimes he and Cody would race ahead to this display or that while Dad and I caught up.
That afternoon, we went to the matinee of Phantom of the Opera, which is the longest running musical ever. Our hotel is close to Broadway, so we walked there. Then that night we went back and saw Wicked. (Same thing. Clay had gotten us these fabulous seats, even though Wicked is sold out months in advance.) Mom loves Phantom, and so do I, but I thought Wicked was really wicked
Rick continued to surprise us when he actually gushed over Phantom when it was finished. It’s the most animated I’ve ever seen him. He liked Wicked too, but nothing like Phantom. Another big day, but a great one!
Sunday: Quieter day today. Church services in the morning in a church across from Lincoln Center. It was amazing to see how diverse the congregation was. Blacks, Asians, Puerto Ricans, Jamaicans, and who knows what else were there. It was really different, and way awesome. After lunch, we visited St. Patrick’s Cathedral, which is the largest Catholic cathedral in America. (You seeing a pattern here? The largest this, the biggest that. The most famous, the longest running, the most beautiful, the best. That’s New York for you. I would hate to live here—the noise and the crowds are awful—but what an awesome place to visit.) That afternoon, we took a long walk in Central Park, then spent a quiet evening at the hotel.
Monday: This morning, the McAllisters of Hanksville, Utah, went to Rockefeller Center (by limousine, I might add) to make their national television debut on Today with hosts Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera. Now, that was pretty darn intimidating. I even wore a dress
All the lights, the studio audience, and the cameras were overwhelming, but Matt and Meredith (that’s what they insisted we call them) made us feel right at home as we visited with them before the show. Because the story was such big news by this time, they gave us an unprecedented fifteen minutes on air, breaking only once for commercials.
They began by having Mom recount the night that El Cobra came to our home. Then they had me and Cody describe how we escaped (without any mention of invisibility, of course). From that point on, it was mostly me and Rick and Cody that they wanted to hear from. Matt was particularly interested in the details of Leprechaun Canyon and had us both tell our side of the story. The audience roared as we talked about Gordo getting stuck in that first narrow slot. Not sure where they got them, but they had videos of Leprechaun Canyon they showed on screen as we talked. From their reaction, most of the audience had never seen a slot canyon before and were pretty amazed. Quite different from the “canyons” of Manhattan. Being here has made me appreciate the desert country of Southeastern Utah more than ever.
But I have to admit that Rick stole the show. Meredith asked him about how he got shot. He was quiet for several seconds, staring at his hands, as usual thinking carefully before he spoke. (I know, I know. Just the opposite of me.) I thought he was going to do what he did at the press conference—a couple of short, one-word sentences—and quit. But he blew me away. As much as I can remember, here’s kinda how it went.
Meredith: We’ve heard how the actual shooting took place, but can you give us a little of the setting that led up to it? What happened that made you go after a man with a gun?
Rick: Well, for one thing, Danni had gone swimming over to a rock fall so she could contact the FBI by radio. So when she came back, she was still in her swimming suit.
I was shocked. Where was he going with this?
Rick: El Cobra kept staring at her. As did the other guards. Eileen, that was El Cobra’s wife, didn’t like that one bit. (He glanced at me and smiled.) Danni looks pretty good in a bathing suit. So she told him to make Danni put on some more clothes.
I’m blushing about fourteen hundred shades of red by that time. Then someone in the audience whistled, and everyone laughed. Make that fifteen hundred.
Meredith: Then what happened?
Rick: El Cobra didn’t like Eileen telling him what to do. He was raging at her. Told her to search Danni for the radio. When she couldn’t find it, he went after Danni himself. He grabbed her by the hair and yanked her head way back.
By this time, Rick’s voice had gone soft. Any embarrassment I was feeling was gone, because suddenly I was back there on the houseboat, reliving it all. I couldn’t look at Rick or our hosts or the camera. Just listening to Rick made me feel like I was going to vomit. I could feel El Cobra’s hot breath, smell the liquor and cigarettes again, feel the cold clutch of fear as he started to lean in t
o kiss me.
Matt: Go on, Rick.
Rick: When he leaned in, his face just inches from Danni’s, I knew he was going to kiss her. And I just lost it. I charged at him, fists flying. So he shot me. And I went down like a rock.
I was fighting with every ounce of strength I had not to lose it. “You’re on national television, Danni,” I kept saying to myself. “This is not the time nor the place for an emotional meltdown. Pull it together.”
Meredith: (who evidently had been watching me closely) And what you were feeling at that point, Danni?
I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Rick’s face. He was worried. I think he sensed how close to the edge I was, so he told me with his eyes to get ahold of myself. So I finally turned to our two hosts. “I’m just glad Rick was there,” I managed to choke out.
To my surprise, I saw that Matt was struggling with his emotions. Meredith was teary eyed. I looked at the audience. Handkerchiefs were out everywhere. Even Mom was crying, evidently remembering it all over again too.
Anyway, we got a standing ovation when we finished. Afterwards, we had to be escorted to the limo by staffers because the crowds outside were so huge. It was really a great experience except for two things. I nearly lost it on national TV. And now half of the country’s female population, from tweens to grandmas, are all aflutter over Rick Ramirez of Hanksville, Utah.
Tuesday: Just me and Rick appeared on Fox and Friends. Ugh! They do things mostly live there and they start at 6, so we had to be there by 5:30. That’s a.m., not p.m.! There are three cohosts on that show, and it’s not a big set, so I think having all five of us would have been kind of crowded. So they asked that only Rick and I be on set, which bummed Cody no end. I figure it’s about time he got his ego cut down to size a little. BTW, Gretchen Carlson, one of the hosts, who is very beautiful, sure wears short skirts. As we were getting ready, I leaned over and told Rick he’d better keep his eyes to the front or I was going to smack him right there on national television. But it turned out that Gretchen was as articulate and personable as she was beautiful and it was a great experience.
From there we went straight to Good Morning, America, whose studio is in Times Square, near our hotel. Pretty much the same thing, only with Mom and Dad being asked more about what the impact on the family was during the ordeal. Cody made up for being cut out that morning. I have to admit, he even had me laughing. He’s a charmer, and in spite of all I say, I love him a ton.
By this time I was getting more comfortable with this whole national TV thing. I was able to mostly forget we were being watched by millions of people and just talk to our hosts. It’s actually kind of fun. And even the cab driver recognized me as we drove from Rockefeller Center to Times Square.
Next up was the David Letterman Show. I had dreaded this one, because on the East Coast, his show plays at like 11 o’clock at night. I stay up that late all the time, but I’m not very sharp. But we were much relieved to learn that they tape it live that afternoon, then replay it later that night. Letterman asked if he could interview all of us in the first segment, then just bring me and Rick back for the last part. So Clay’s prediction that Rick and I were going to get the most attention was proving to be true.
Since Letterman’s and Jay Leno’s shows are so late back in Utah, our family didn’t watch them much, but we had enough to have a pretty good idea what to expect.
Letterman really is a very charming and really funny guy. He had us kind of summarize our whole story, asking questions and making funny quips as we did so. He had us laughing a lot—even Grandpère. I was surprised—and pleased—when, at the last of that first segment, he focused a lot on Mom. I was really proud of her. She looked so beautiful on screen. And when she opened up and tried to describe her feelings, I could see that even he was touched. And I’m sure she had half of America bawling their eyes out before she finished.
One of the big things on the Letterman Show is what he calls his “Top Ten List.” I’m sure about everyone in the world—well, maybe not the world, but in the U.S.—has heard him do one of those. They’re a big hit on his show and I could just picture what he’d do with our story. So, without telling anyone—not even Rick—I decided to do what my dad calls one-upmanship. You know, kind of give back as good as you get, only do it first. So I wrote out my own Top Ten list. So imagine my disappointment when I asked one of the producers if he planned to do one with us, and she said no. They did Top Ten on most shows, but not all.
But that didn’t stop me. While we still had two or three minutes left, I reached in my pocket. “Excuse me, Mr. Letterman,” I said, “but I love your Top Ten List, so I made one of my own. Would you like to hear it?”
It kind of knocked him off his stride, but when everyone broke out in applause, he graciously agreed. When I took a bunch of 3x5 cards from my pocket, the audience roared. That was how he always does it. I looked over at the band leader—I can never remember his name—and, laughing, he gave me the usual drumroll.
“Okay, here we go. Ten Reasons why El Cobra does not want to continue his relationship with Danni McAllister.” Laughter and some applause. Even Letterman couldn’t hold back a chuckle.
“Reason number ten. Danni already has a boyfriend with a Spanish name.”
Drumroll. Laughter. Applause.
“Number nine. He can never remember Danni’s real name, Carruthers, and that really chaps her mother.”
More of the same. I saw Mom was laughing too.
“Eight. Her grandfather wears a French beret, and El Cobra thinks French berets are for sissies.”
We had monitors strategically placed in the studio so we could see what the television audience was seeing. The camera cut to Grandpère, who dutifully doffed his beret and waved to the audience.
“Number seven. Danni is still trying to get him to pay the bill for patching up the bullet holes in their living room.”
That won a few cheers along with the applause.
“Six. He doesn’t know how to ride a horse, and he can’t drive a four-wheeler or a houseboat.”
The audience was roaring now. I couldn’t repress a smile. This was fun.
“Fifth reason why El Cobra is not interested in maintaining a relationship with Danni McAllister. He asked her to be his tour guide to Cathedral Valley and she pulled a gun on him.”
From Letterman’s face, I knew I was on a roll.
“Fourth reason why this relationship is done with. After their first kiss, Danni knocked El Cobra across the room.”
“Number three. She keeps taking the battery out of her cell phone so he can never call her when he wants to talk with her.”
Pause. More drums. More cheering.
Number two: The last time he asked if they might go for a walk, she suggested they go to Leprechaun Canyon.
I waved the last card at the audience. “And the number-one reason El Cobra does not want a relationship with Danni McAllister is: ...”
Long drum roll with much banging.
“There is no bus service between Hanksville, Utah, and the federal penitentiary in Tucson, Arizona.”
Well, I got another standing ovation. Even Letterman seemed impressed.
A favorite quote of Dad’s is from Dizzy Dean, who I guess was a great baseball player when he was growing up. He said: “It ain’t bragging if you really did it.” So, if you’ll pardon a little bragging—since no one will ever read this journal, at least not while I’m alive!—I’ll just say this much. My Top Ten List was a huge hit and made the front page in a couple of evening papers tonight along with leading several television news shows.
To celebrate, we had dinner in “The View,” a revolving restaurant on the top of the hotel, which has fabulous views of the city. It was an awesome, amazing, tiring day.
And so, good night.
CHAPTER 18
Crossroads American Kitchen, Marriott
Marquis Hotel
September 21, 2011
To my surprise, when Cody and I came down for breakfast, Clay Zabriskie and Joel Jamison were already there eating with Mom, Dad, Grandpère, and Rick, the early risers in the family. Both agents stood up, but Clay came over to greet us. He shook my hand vigorously. “Well done,” he said. “That was brilliant last night, Danni. A perfect way to keep him from asking too many questions.”
“That’s what I decided too,” I said demurely. Which wasn’t exactly true. That thought hadn’t entered my head. I just thought it might be a lot of fun for the audience.
We went back to the table, and Joel shook our hands too. “Totally agree with Clay’s assessment. Did you write those yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Very funny. Maybe I’ll get a clip of it and send it to Arizona. Let El Cobra watch it in his cell.” That made me hoot loud enough that several people turned to look.
“And Eileen too,” Cody said. “She never did like Danni. Not one bit.”
As we started to sit down, Mom pointed to the far wall. “There’s a fabulous breakfast buffet over there. Get some food, and then Joel and Clay want to talk to us about what happens next.”
Cody was already gone before she finished. I was a little more reserved, but I was hungry enough that I wasn’t far behind him.
As a waitress refilled Joel’s coffee and moved away again, he sat back. “Before we get to today, let me tell you what’s going on tomorrow. Since we want to make this ‘disappearance,’ as Grandpère calls it, as clean and complete as possible, the limo that picks you up from the hotel tomorrow will be rented. Clay will be your driver. We’re going to take you across the Hudson to New Jersey, where we have our plane waiting at an executive airport.”
“Wow,” I said, “we’re leaving for France that soon?”
“No. We’re still working on getting Rick’s passport. And we want to make sure all arrangements are in place. So we’re taking you to Washington, D.C., for a couple of days. Then we’ll send you on to France.”
To Run With the Swift Page 26