Violent Circle Comedy Series Box Set

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Violent Circle Comedy Series Box Set Page 3

by S. M. Shade


  “Okay, Cass, you can get started, and Jani and Martha, come with me.”

  After studying the diagram, I decide to start with the wall of vibrators. I drag over a few boxes and locate a step stool so I can reach the top hooks.

  Good god, I never realized there were so many kinds of vibrators. Aside from the normal rubber, metal, and plastic, there are a ton of novelty designs.

  I can’t help but snort at the sight of some of them as I hang the rows of packages. Who in the world would want a Squido? In case you haven’t had the pleasure of discovering this little gem, it’s a rubber, white, squid shaped dildo, complete with tentacles.

  That may be a bit strange, but the whale penis dildo is just plain scary looking. It’s more like a stiff plastic spike. Ouch.

  I’ve filled up a couple of rows when Wyatt, Jani, and Martha return. The older man I told about our apartment’s maintenance position follows them in. I expected he’d run the second he found out what the business was. I guess there are more open-minded people in town than I thought.

  “You can help Cass on the vibrator wall,” Wyatt directs as Martha begins arranging lingerie on racks and Jani starts unloading DVD’s on the other side of the room.

  “Hi, I’m Clarence,” the man introduces himself with a warm smile. He looks like he’s in his fifties with salt and pepper hair and a short, graying beard.

  “Cass,” I reply, shaking his hand. I give him the printout that Wyatt gave me, and he nods, getting to work beside me.

  Wyatt is moving a ladder around the room, messing with wires under the ceiling tiles. An hour passes in companionable silence as we all focus on the work. I’m sliding a dolphin shaped vibe on the rack when I feel a tap on my leg and look down into bright eyes.

  “Sorry, I need to get in here for a moment,” Wyatt says.

  He could get in whatever he wants. Shit, I’m even willing to try anal and I’ve always avoided that.

  “Sure.” I move my step stool aside so he can put the ladder beside it.

  He climbs up and starts messing with the wiring, and I return to stocking just a foot or so below him, which gives me a great view of his ass, right by my face.

  I can’t resist looking back at Jani, who grins and holds up her hands, squeezing an invisible set of ass cheeks in the air. Martha also notices, and my giggles escape when she bends over and pretends to slap her ass. This poor guy is being ogled by his employees, except for Clarence, who is focused on stocking an inflatable cushion with a dildo attached in the center.

  I turn back to my work, but not for long. Wyatt’s foot slides and he slips down a rung, his hand instinctively going to my shoulder to brace himself. It keeps him from falling, but my stool tips and I fall flat on my back into a box of vibrators. And not the soft, rubbery ones.

  “I’m so sorry!” he exclaims, jumping from the ladder and rushing to me. Clarence does the same. I’m okay, but the breath has been knocked out of me, so all I can make is a pitiful braying noise like a donkey. So attractive.

  Wyatt grabs my hands and lifts my arms above my head. His voice is calm and reassuring. “You’re okay. Don’t fight it. Just let it come back.”

  I’m finally able to get a gasp of air and the next breath is easier. If you’ve never had the wind knocked from you before, I don’t recommend it.

  “I’m okay,” I assure them. “But something hard is sticking me in the back.”

  They help me out of the smashed box and Clarence grabs the object that was poking me. “Good thing it hit your back,” he jokes, holding up a large plastic ear of corn, complete with individual kernels. “You could’ve been impaled on a cornbrator.”

  “Who the hell wants to be fucked by an ear of corn?” I complain.

  “Gives a whole new meaning to the term cornhole,” Martha laughs.

  “Wait until we get to the dino dicks,” Wyatt replies, still looking concerned. “Are you sure you aren’t hurt?”

  “I’m fine, really.” I’m sure I’ll end up with a few bruises, but it’s no big deal.

  Wyatt sighs and runs a hand through his dark, wavy hair. “I could use a coffee. Let’s take a break.”

  Martha volunteers to run to the coffee shop down the road, and Wyatt hands her a credit card to get everyone a drink.

  The day goes by faster than I expect and at eight o’clock, Wyatt sends Martha, Jani, and Clarence home. It appears they’ll be working from noon until eight while we pull longer hours.

  Jani winks at me on her way out the door and calls, “Don’t do anything I’ve already done!”

  Thankfully, Wyatt is out of earshot. I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about being left alone with a man who will definitely feature in my dreams and fantasies whether I want him to or not.

  He’s my boss, and I need this job so I can’t sleep with him. At least that’s what I tell myself. Besides, the guy is pretty far out of my league. I mean, I’m no uggo, but he’s gorgeous and successful. He probably has some beauty queen girlfriend somewhere.

  It doesn’t matter anyway since he spends the rest of the shift doing paperwork in the back while I put away stock. We finally call it a night around ten and Wyatt insists on walking me to my car. It’s a sweet gesture, but the thought makes me laugh. If he only knew what neighborhood I live in and what I dealt with last night.

  I’m dead tired when I get home. I’m not used to working long hours and my back is sore from my fall. After a long, hot bath, my bed is screaming my name. I have to be up early to get my hair trimmed before work so it’s definitely time to call it a night. First, I check to make sure all my windows and doors are locked since I don’t want a repeat of the night before, although I don’t think it’s likely. I saw the terror on those boys’ faces.

  “Well, you know the word is getting around about it,” Ms. Larkin says in a faux whisper, like the whole beauty shop can’t hear her.

  I really hate coming here, but it’s the only decent place in town that doesn’t leave my hair looking like it’s been chewed off by goats. It’s always so damn gossipy. I pretty much block everything out, but her next words draw my attention.

  “Those boys were going to show him what happens when you try that sick stuff here, but they got the wrong house and ended up getting picked up for weed. Can you imagine? They didn’t even investigate!”

  “What were they going to do?” another lady asks as she waits with a head full of foils.

  “Kick his perverted ass up and down the street! Imagine, pretending to be a woman then luring in men so they find you naked! What did he expect to happen?”

  “Oh Lord, how did they find out it was a man and not a woman?”

  Ms. Larkin purses her lips, clearly pleased by her captive audience. “Minnie’s boy fell for it. He answered some ad and traded messages with the guy. He told him he was a lonely woman looking for some fun, even posted a fake picture. Told him to climb through the back window so he wouldn’t wake his mother. Well, he fell for it and when he showed up and climbed in, a young guy was waiting for him, naked as the day he was born!”

  The ladies all gasp. I can’t believe what I’m hearing as all the dots are being connected. They’re talking about my neighbor, Jasper. That’s why the dude was trying to get in my place. They intended to drag him out and jump him.

  I don’t care that Jasper is gay, but I don’t need him running a damn ad, then telling people to climb in the window when people are getting the wrong apartment. And I have to agree with the gossiping old biddy on one thing; what did he expect would happen when the guy arrives to find the opposite of what he’s looking for?

  This is not good. I have no idea what to do about it, though. Do I confront Jasper, let him know I inadvertently saved his ass? That if they hadn’t gotten the wrong apartment, he’d have been beaten to a pulp? I have to at least make sure he isn’t still running the ad. Our apartments are connected. It wouldn’t be hard for a guy to get the wrong window again.

  “What do you think?” Sara, my stylist, asks, han
ding me a mirror so I can see the back.

  “Looks great. Thank you.” I pay her and head straight back home.

  After arguing with myself for a few minutes, I march next door and knock on the door. Jasper’s little red car is parked in its spot, so I know he’s home, but he doesn’t answer.

  “Fine,” I grumble to myself. I tried to do it the respectful way, but now I’m pissed.

  I grab a piece of paper and write a note.

  Jasper,

  I tried knocking as I’m sure you know, but you won’t answer so you leave me with this option. Please take down whatever ad you’re running or at least tell the guys to knock on your door, not come on in or climb through a window. I’m sure you saw what happened last night, but in case you aren’t aware, those boys were here to jump you for misleading them on the state of your genitalia. Instead, they tried to get through my window. So knock that shit off before someone gets hurt.

  Cassidy

  I close the note in his screen door before hopping in my car and heading to work. Now that he knows how close he came to getting jumped, I doubt I’ll have any more problems. Seriously, though, it seems like all the weird stuff happens to me.

  The next week is uneventful both at home and at work. We get the store squared away quicker than anticipated and Wyatt shows us his appreciation in the form of pizza. Friday evening, Jani, Martha, and Clarence are hanging the last few signs and displays while I work on the first week’s schedule. It’s not that difficult. Jani, Martha, and Clarence have written down what hours they’d prefer and none are too limiting. The only gap I notice is during the late night hours, and since I’d prefer to keep the late shift, I’m happy about it.

  Jani is open to any shift, and Martha would prefer to work early or midday. Like me, Clarence would rather sleep in and close, except on Saturday nights when he has church the next morning. After a few minutes of shuffling things around I’ve managed to give everyone what they want and provide sufficient hours. As the GM, I don’t have to clock in or out. I just have to be here whenever I’m needed to keep things running smoothly.

  Wyatt enters with two huge pizzas. His face brightens with a smile that never fails to make me picture him naked, and he announces, “I thought we could all use a little reward for a job well done.”

  A general cheer goes up and a few minutes later we’re all seated on the carpeted floor eating pizza. “Is everyone ready for our grand opening tomorrow?”

  “I’m ready to see if anyone will actually show up,” Martha replies, voicing the same fear I have.

  We have a sign that reads “Parking in Rear” posted out front. If that isn’t the funniest shit to post in front of an adult shop, then I don’t know what is. Anyway, the idea is to allow customers to park where they can’t be seen from the street in the hopes that they’ll be more likely to come in and shop.

  “The grand opening ad will run in tomorrow morning’s paper in town and in some of the surrounding towns as well. People will show up. Curiosity will draw them in,” Wyatt assures us.

  Jani crosses her legs and leans back on her palms. “Speaking of curiosity, boss, I have a few questions.”

  Oh no. There is no telling what will come out of this woman’s mouth. I called dibs, but she also knows I have no intention of fucking around with my boss no matter how much I want to lick him. Or wrap my hands around that hair and pull it while he…

  “Go on,” Wyatt replies. Damn, there I go again, just fantasizing about him in front of everyone.

  “You don’t wear a ring so I assume you aren’t married. Girlfriend?”

  Yep. Straight to the point.

  Wyatt laughs and shakes his head. “Not currently, no. I work a lot which forces me to move a lot.”

  “Awesome answer.”

  The corner of his mouth twitches as he regards her. “I also don’t get involved with employees.”

  “Ugh!” Jani falls to her back and lets out a dramatic moan. “Why must I need this job?”

  Everyone laughs, and Martha swats her on the leg. “Don’t you have a man?”

  “Not one I wouldn’t totally throw out on his ass.” She sits up. “Are you married, Martha?”

  “For thirty years,” she announces proudly before turning to me. “Cass, any beau’s at the moment?”

  “Nope, can’t say there are. I did have a guy try to get in my window last week, but sadly, he had the wrong house.” I’m no virgin, but the truth is I’ve never had a real relationship. “Clarence?” I ask, shifting the focus to him.

  “Not married, but I have a boyfriend.”

  There’s one I didn’t see coming.

  He turns to Wyatt and asks a question I had wondered about but didn’t want to ask. “By the way, do we get some kind of employee discount?”

  We all burst into laughter, and Martha snorts. “Right? No fair paying full price for your butt plugs.”

  “Martha!” I swat her arm. “Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he uses butt plugs.”

  “What?” She shrugs. “What’s wrong with butt plugs? I have three!”

  After we hear that hilarious—if not slightly disturbing—information, Wyatt speaks up. “Yes, you get a twenty percent discount on everything.”

  Jani laughs and gets to her feet. “There you go, Martha. You can stock up.”

  “Don’t think I won’t, missy.”

  The absurdity of someone who uses the word missy and can also talk butt plugs and vibrators cracks me up.

  We spend the next few minutes getting to know each other a little better before Wyatt calls it a night. “We’ve got a long, exciting day tomorrow.”

  Chapter Three

  It’s a completely normal morning until I show up at work. I listen to the radio as I get ready and some of my neighbors wave at me as I drive away. Nothing prepares me for the sight I see when I turn the corner onto the street where Scarlet Toys is located. The bright red sign has been uncovered and it looks fantastic, but it barely catches my eye because my attention is focused on the virtual traffic jam and the crowd around the store.

  What the hell? Surely, we aren’t going to be that busy. I mean, I remember when the supercenter first opened and people were lined around the block like they were waiting to get in a concert, but for sex toys?

  I turn on the smaller road that leads behind the building and am relieved to find it empty. When I pull into the back parking lot, I realize what’s going on. It isn’t customers or curious onlookers gathered around the building. They’re protesters. A lot of protesters.

  Wow, if the Fifty Shades movie irked them, this really lit the fuse on these bitches’ tampons. I notice it’s mostly women, but there are a few men mixed in, carrying signs and shouting slogans.

  As soon as I get out of my car and head for the door, I’m spotted and they practically sprint toward me. “How can you go in there? Don’t you know they’re selling hellfire and damnation? What would your mother think?”

  All of this is being screamed in my face and one of the women gets close enough to step on my foot.

  That’s it.

  “My mother would tell you you’d better get the fuck out of my face before Jesus watches me whoop your ass!”

  The woman’s mouth forms a perfect O and she steps back. An arm wraps around me from behind just as I’m being surrounded by screaming protesters, and I turn to shove the person off before I hear Wyatt’s voice. “It’s me. Let’s get inside.”

  Martha pulls in right beside me and jumps out, completely fearless. As they start to shout at her as well, she gives it right back. “Mabel, I see you. Get off your high horse. Maybe if you’d gone for a vibrator instead of your gardener, Mike wouldn’t have left you and you’d have something better to do with your time!”

  A snort of laughter escapes me and I grab her arm, pulling her inside with us where Jani and Clarence are waiting.

  “Holy shit!” I exclaim, as the chants fade away behind the heavy door.

  Wyatt’s concerned gaze sweeps over
me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. She just stepped on my foot.” I shake my head and a tiny grin sneaks onto my face. “I hate to say I told you so…”

  I love his laugh. It’s deep and genuine, and he throws his head back with abandon. Sexy as hell. “I didn’t quite expect this level of blowback, but it’ll pass. It’s not the first time I’ve had to deal with dissent from the locals. The police are on their way now to move them back and make sure any potential customers can get inside safely.”

  Clarence glances around the store. “Is there anything you need done in the meantime?” Wyatt brought us all in because he expected a lot of customers, but also so we could all get on-the-job training the first day.

  “There are a couple of boxes in the back that were delivered this morning. Mostly lube and novelty condoms. You can get those put away.”

  Wyatt crooks a finger at me. “Come with me a moment, Cass. I’ve finally got the uniforms in.”

  “Yeah, I fell for that one before,” I grumble, following him. He stops in the hallway, just out of sight and earshot of the others. Surprised, I step back, my back pressing against the wall. His fingers close on a stray lock of hair on my cheek and tuck it behind my ear as his gaze locks with mine. “Are you okay? I should have had security here to walk you inside, but I didn’t expect this level of opposition.”

  I open my mouth and a squeak comes out. Seriously, I squeak like a damn mouse whose tail has been stepped on. We’ve spent at least ten hours a day together for over a week, but this is the closest I’ve been to him. He smells fantastic, some kind of musk mixed with soap and his natural scent. It takes all my restraint to resist sniffing him like a psycho.

  “You smell amazing!” I blurt out.

  Yep. My ability to talk returns and that’s the genius statement that leaps from my mouth.

  His lips raise in a smirk and I can’t tell if he’s pleased, trying not to laugh at me, or planning how to fire the weirdo who can’t answer a simple question. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that.”

 

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