by S. M. Shade
I’m trying to control my emotions. After all, this is exactly what I didn’t want. To feel so…crazy over someone. I’ve tried to just go on about my life; work, come home, hang out with the neighbors before crawling under the covers and trying to sleep. But the days are unbelievably long, and a coworker I rarely speak to asked me if I was okay yesterday, so now I know I’m not good at hiding…whatever this is.
It can’t be a broken heart, can it? Not after a month. It’s ridiculous.
Mallory’s words from last week at the pool keep coming back to me and make me ask myself a question I thought I answered long ago. Do I really want to be alone? I thought I did. I never really felt lonely until recently, and while Puffbutt may have helped, it’s not the same.
I want to cuddle up with Nick in the evenings to watch T.V. I like waking up to him in the morning and having breakfast together. I just…love being with him.
I’m only torturing myself, so why am I being a stubborn bitch about this?
My hands tremble as I pick up my phone and call him before I can change my mind. I have no idea what I’m going to say, but I know if I don’t do it now, I’m going to chicken out. After a few rings, my call goes to his voicemail. There’s no way I’m talking to his machine.
Instead, I text.
Me: Can we talk?
That’s it. Short and simple, but I’m sure he’ll feel the weight behind it as surely as I do. Fuck, now all I can do is wait.
Chapter Seven
Nick
My nephew and namesake, Nicky, climbs into the backseat and buckles his seatbelt, chattering away nonstop about the movie we just watched. At least it was a superhero movie so I wasn’t bored to death, but I probably have Tetanus or some kind of plague judging by all the coughing and sneezing I heard. Kids are little infectious petri dishes, I swear.
“What was your favorite part?” I ask him, pulling my phone out and unmuting it.
His excited response about explosions fades to the background when I see a text from Samantha. My tongue darts out to lick my lips as I open it.
She wants to talk.
Thank fuck because I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind all week. I’ve been regretting my reaction. Maybe I moved too fast, but the way she talks, I don’t think I would’ve gotten a better response if I’d have waited another month or two.
Still, this isn’t going to work if I pressure her into something she doesn’t want. At this point I don’t know what she wants. I guess I’m about to find out. Instead of texting or calling her back, I’m going to her place, after I drop Nicky off.
“Oh, and Uncle Nick? You were wrong,” Nicky announces.
I glance at him in the rearview mirror for a moment as I’m driving. “I was? What was I wrong about?”
“Kissing a girl does not make you grow a ponytail out of your butt.”
Laughter shakes my body. “How can you be sure, though?”
“Cause Hannah L. kissed me right on the mouth at recess last week. And my butt is fine.”
Chuckling, I park in front of my sister’s house. “Right on the mouth huh?”
“Yeah, it was gross!” He clambers out of the backseat. “Bye Uncle Nick! Thanks for taking me!” He runs up the walkway to his mom who has just opened the front door. I give her a wave before driving away.
Even my six year old nephew has girl problems.
My own difficult woman looks like she’s seen a ghost when she opens her door and finds me standing there. “Nick! Hi…I didn’t expect you.”
“I was close by. I just got your message. My phone was off while I was in the movie theater.”
An odd, almost stricken, expression crosses her face, and she nods.
“You want to talk?”
“Yeah.” She joins me outside, and we sit on her steps.
Silence reigns for a minute before she says, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake.”
Sighing, I slide my hand into hers. “You aren’t the only one. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I was disappointed because I thought you felt the same as I do.”
“I do. I do have feelings for you. That’s just…something I’m not used to. I’ve always avoided relationships.”
We watch as two kids run past playing tag. “Why?”
“They change people.” Her gaze meets mine but the next words to come out of her mouth make no sense. “I don’t want you to end up singing on the lawn wearing a horrible tuxedo while I scream and throw things at you.”
“I.” My hand rasps over my beard. “Babe, I have no idea what that means.”
She cracks a smile and the story she tells me definitely lightens the mood. “Is there video of this by any chance?”
“I don’t think so,” she chuckles.
“Well, I can promise I will never do that.” Her eyes glint in the late afternoon light. I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “I can’t promise we won’t ever fight. That comes along with any relationship, Sam. But we’re both calm people. I’m sure we can work things out and talk without any flying slippers.”
Her lips press to mine in a cautious kiss. “I missed you.” It looks like it takes a lot for her to say that, and I have a feeling getting her to open up is going to take time. I can handle that.
“I missed you too. We can take things slow, Samantha, if that makes you feel safe. I just want to know I have you to myself. That you’re mine.”
“I didn’t go out with anyone else. That wasn’t ever a part of the problem,” she assures me. Chewing her lip, she asks, “The movie you just came from…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but I realize the question.
“Not a date. I took my nephew. I probably caught Ebola so be ready to nurse me back to health from some terrible third world disease.”
She kisses me again. “I’ll risk it.”
A screech breaks us apart, and two guys run through the yard. I recognize Denton and Trey from the night we went to the bonfire. Denton is wearing only a pair of shorts, his feet bare, while Trey is fully clothed, but soaking wet.
“I said I was sorry!” Trey shouts.
“Is he trying to..?”
“Looks like it,” Samantha laughs.
In Denton’s hand is one of those bug zappers that’s shaped like a tennis racquet. I’ve used one before and they give off a pretty good shock if you hold the button down too long. He swings it at Trey and barely catches him on the ass, but I hear the crackle of electricity make its connection.
“Ah! Come on!” Trey shouts, darting in another direction. Denton is way faster than him though and he has no chance to escape.
“That’s got to hurt,” Sam says.
“Being wet doesn’t help.”
Denton connects with his ass again as they run around the corner, out of sight, but we can hear Trey’s yelp. “Ow! You got my balls, you ass flap!”
Samantha shakes her head and stands up, taking my hand. “Let’s go. I want to take my boyfriend inside and make up for lost time.”
“Have you had dinner? Because we can go out,” I offer.
She slings her arms around me and squeezes my ass. “Can we just skip to the part where you fuck me in half?”
I’m not going to argue with that.
THE END
Don’t miss out
Don’t miss out on Denton’s story in Zero F*cks! You can find it here.
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Note to Readers
This was a fun little story to write and if you follow me on Facebook or are a part of my reading group, you probably know why. I’ve had a few questions about the “Samantha is a slutty name,” joke that gained me a nemesis, S.K. Rose.
I’m going to shift most of the blame to the reader group B.A.N.G. When I was writing Scarlet Toys, I asked for help naming a character known for having a friendly vagina and Samantha was the top voted. A few Samanthas in the group got a laugh out of it, but I’m betting you can guess which one decided to be all dramatic.
The drama queen of the desert herself
started an argument over it, and a feud ensued between my group, Shady Ladies and hers, SK’s Octoposse. (I won).
After all was said and done, we ended up best frenemies. Thanks for being a good sport, S.K. Rose, and I am truly sorry…that you have a slutty name.
Free Books!
Thanks for reading! If you’d like to check out more of my work, I have two books that are always free!
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Landon, Book one of The In Safe Hands Series:
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More by S.M. Shade
The Striking Back Series
Book 1: Everly
The first time I met Mason Reed, we were standing naked in a bank, surrounded by guns.
That should have been a warning.
An MMA champion, trainer, and philanthropist, but not a man who gives up easily, Mason is trouble dipped in ink and covered in muscle.
Growing up in foster care, I'm well aware that relationships are temporary, and I do my best to avoid them. After a sheet clenching one night stand, I'm happy to move on, but Mason pursues me relentlessly. Sweet, caring, protective, and at times, a bossy control freak, this persistent man has climbed inside my heart, and I can’t seem to shake him.
After saving me from a life threatening situation, he’s also won something much harder to obtain. My trust. But does he deserve it? Is his true face the one he shows the world? Or is his charitable, loving manner only a thin veneer?
This book contains sexual situations and is intended for ages 18 and older.
US: My Book
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AU: My Book
Book 2: Mason
From the moment I saw her, I wanted her in my bed.
I should've stopped there.
Everly Hall burst into my complicated life and changed it forever. I'm a fighter, but I had no defense against this beautiful, stubborn woman.
Now, I stand to lose everything I have, everything I am. My secrets are dangerous, and put more lives at stake than my own. I intended to tell her in time, but my time is up.
Everything rests on Everly.
This is the conclusion of Mason and Everly's story.
Contains violence and sexual situations and is intended for adults 18 and older.
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Book 3: Parker
Hit it and quit it.
One and done.
Hump and dump.
That has been my philosophy on relationships for the last seven years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad guy. I'm always upfront and truthful with the women I date. I don't promise them anything but a good time.
I could've gone on happily sleeping my way through the major metropolitan area if it wasn't for her. The dark haired beauty who haunts my days and keeps me awake at night. Strong and sweet, she makes me reconsider everything I believe about love.
Too bad she's completely off limits.
I've never been good at following the rules.
US: My Book
UK: My Book
AU: My Book
Book 4: Alex – An M/M Romance
Ninety- two days. Thirteen weeks. That’s how long it’s been since I lost my love, my best friend. It’s been everything I can do to drag myself out of bed and get back to work, but I know Cooper would want me to move on. I think he’d even be happy if he knew who I want to move on with. The target of my affection, though, may not be so thrilled about my choice.
He’s straight. Or he thinks he is.
A womanizer of the worst kind with a face and body that keeps a steady stream of willing women at his door, he seems happy to work his way through the entire female population. But there’s no mistaking the way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not paying attention.
One way or another, I’ll show him what he really wants.
This is book four of The Striking Back Series, but can also be read as a standalone novel.
Intended for 18 years and older. Contains sexual content, including sex between two men.
US: My Book
UK: My Book
AU: My Book
The In Safe Hands Series
Landon
Zoe
I’m not interested. I’m not interested in his blue-green ocean colored eyes, his lean muscular body, or that crooked smile that can be so infuriating. I have more important things to worry about, like how to keep myself in college and my sixteen year old brother fed and sheltered. We all know life is hard, some of us just learn that lesson younger than others, but that doesn’t mean I’ll give up. I intend to succeed and make sure my brother has the opportunities he deserves, and no privileged jerk is going to distract me.
Landon
I don’t date. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from celibate, but my condition makes carrying on any kind of normal relationship impossible. My life revolves around In Safe Hands or ISH, the underground hacker group I work with to track down and take care of predators and sex offenders who beat the system. I’m satisfied with my life until the day I meet the smart mouthed, compassionate, determined woman who opens my eyes to possibilities I never thought existed.
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Dare
Ayda
I hear him.
His deep voice and rumbling laugh. The bang of the headboard slamming the wall and fake screams from yet another woman. Derek is a pile of muscle and ink, a bad boy fantasy only a few layers of wood and plaster away. It’s all I expect or want him to be.
Until that irresistible voice begins talking to me.
Dare
I hear her.
The clicking of her fingers on a keyboard, her music or TV playing in the background. Her musical laugh and soft cries of pleasure, accompanied by a low, steady buzz. Ayda is a good girl who keeps to herself, and I have no business pursuing her, but I’m not a man known for doing the right thing.
I’m an ex-con. I’m a criminal.
And I want her.
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CA: My Book
Justus
Justus
I’m not conceited.
Really, I’m not. It just so happens I have a body a Greek God would be jealous of, and a face that could make an angel weep. Other than that, I’m just your everyday normal guy who happens to take his clothes off for money. Sure, I’ve had to dispose of a few guys for In Safe Hands, the organization I work for that helps track predators and child molesters, but other than that, completely normal.
Women flock to me, screaming and paying for the right to touch me, so why is this woman so stubborn? Sadie Belmont’s curvy body and sharp tongue have haunted me since I met her a year ago. There’s something about her that gets stuck in my head like a bad song, and I’m determined to find out why I want her so badly, and why she can’t stomach the thought.
Sadie
I can’t believe I’m doing this. Of all the men i
n the world, I’m taking Justus Alexander to my childhood home in Oklahoma to meet my mother. A stripper who has a revolving door of women jumping in and out of his bed. Nine months ago when I lied to my mother and told her I had a steady boyfriend, I didn’t expect it to come to this. She doesn’t have long to live, and her only wish is to know I have a husband before she goes.
I can’t disappoint her, and male escorts cost way more than I can afford, so when Justus volunteered, I took him up on his offer. I know what he wants. After annoying me with constant pick up lines for a year, he sees an opportunity to get me in bed. It’s not going to happen. I just need to get through this week with my sanity intact.
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Tucker
Tucker
She’s beautiful.
She’s young.
She’s driving me out of my mind.
I’ve always done my best to avoid Leah Bolt. I have enough problems without having to deal with a young woman with a crush. My life has been a disaster since I was court-martialed and dishonorably discharged from the military. After spending a year living on the streets, I’m finally starting to pull things together.
Now, I’m stuck with her, living side by side in my house with my complete opposite. If spending every day with this peppy, optimistic, energetic woman doesn’t kill me, her brother will. Dare is a friend and a member of In Safe Hands, a group that tracks down sexual predators and brings them to justice. He has also done time and is the size of a mountain.